Ursa Geminids
by George J. Valtom
Summary: Reverse Pines AU. After the brutal deaths of their parents, the Pines twins cling to each other as they challenge the world. Between Dipper's cunning and Mabel's charisma, they've come to dominate their foster home and middle school - until one day, their great-uncle shows up and takes them under his wing. Now their world's gotten a whole lot bigger...
1. The Pines Twins

Dipper remembered that night well.

They had been lying in bed, his sister on the opposite side of the room. The lights were off, but they didn't sleep. The yelling kept them awake. Louder and louder, and they tried their best not to hear it.

Then the yelling changed, became unlike what they had heard before…

Then a blast.

What happened next was so jumbled that he couldn't really piece it together. He remembered the sudden stab of panic. Leaping out of bed. Then he was in the closet, holding onto Mabel and she onto him. A ghastly wail through the walls.

Another blast.

Then quiet for a long long time, pitiful sobbing that might have been Mabel's or his own, until he heard growing sirens and splintering wood from the front door.

From there it had been a flurry of lights, voices, yelling, get those kids to the hospital. Flashing red greeted them as they stepped outside, carefully shielded from the view of the living room. A silver blanket draped around their shoulders. Dipper walked just before the guiding hands that pushed behind him, not wanting the man to touch him.

Instead he reached for his sister.

That was the first of two moments he remembered the most clearly. Amid the blurred cacophony around him, the lights and cameras flashing in his eyes, the biting cold of the night air, he wanted to take his sister's hand.

And she took his.

As they kept moving forward into the squad car, she looked into his eyes. Three years later, he remembered the fear he had seen. He had seen her afraid whenever she was bullied on the playground, whenever someone had taken her pencil box or mocked her stickers, but never such a deep-rooted horror and despair. From the softening in her face, he guessed he must have had the same expression.

The feel of her hand, the look in her eyes. Those were the snapshots that burned in his mind. He couldn't even remember the photograph in the paper, right above the words "TWINS SURVIVE MURDER-SUICIDE OF PARENTS", the only identity given to them. But that photo had long faded, and his two pictures were all he needed to remember from that night.

Dipper lay on his side in bed, facing the wall, running through those two memories over and over when a voice interrupted him.

"Hey bro?"

He swallowed, and pretended that he was just waking up. He faked a yawn.

"Mornin' Mabel," he rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Ten minutes to the alarm." The faint blue light of morning peeked through the window and testified in her support. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he lied. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You were awake." He closed his eyes as he realized his charade wouldn't hold. "You snore. What's going on?"

"Just...thinking about that night again."

Dipper sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. He sighed and closed his eyes again, until he felt Mabel's hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, we're alright now." She looked around. "Well, kinda. But I still have you," she forced a thin smile. "And you'll always have me."

Dipper gently nodded. "Thanks Mabel." With that he was able to bring a smile to his own face. "C'mon, let's get ready."

After dressing themselves and turning off their alarm, they tried to leave their room only to be nearly bowled over by an eight-year-old boy.

"Hey, watch it!" Mabel yelled.

"Oh my gosh," he stammered. "I-I didn't see you, I'm so sorry-"

"Just watch out, okay Tom?" Dipper was cross as he stepped into the open space.

"Okay, yeah, sorry!" With that Tom ran off again down the stairs. The twins watched after him.

"Nearly got you," Dipper observed.

"Yeah, he's lucky he didn't." The two of them crossed the empty space which made up the core of the house's second floor. Sprouting from it were the master bedroom, where their foster parents slept; three smaller bedrooms, including their own, that housed five foster children; and a restroom. At the moment, they saw another one of their housemates, a fifteen-year-old named Vanessa, leaning against the door.

"Head downstairs," she pointed. "Ben here's been taking forever…"

Dipper sighed and followed his sister to the first floor. The upper floor's bathroom had better hot water, for whatever weird reason the plumber had decided on. On top of that, the move didn't even make a difference: there was a line downstairs too, with Tom waiting just outside the door. The sound of a running shower came from inside

"Uh, hi, Dipper, Mabel…" Tom waved at them timidly. "Listen, I'm really sorry about what happened-"

"Who's in there?" Mabel asked.

"Kimberly, she's just-"

"KIMBERLY!" Mabel banged on the door. "There's a line!"

Almost immediately the water shut off, and they could hear the curtain flying open, a rushed effort to put on clothes, before a ten-year-old opened the door.

"Sorry!" She quickly passed by the twins, keeping her eyes low, not looking at either of them. With that Dipper motioned to the boy.

"Hurry, can you?"

Tom nodded and darted into the restroom, practically slamming the door. Dipper and Mabel leaned against the walls opposite each other.

"Okay, so, is it my turn to go first?" Dipper thought aloud. "I think it's my turn."

"Hey, you went first yesterday!"

"Are you sure? I don't think so…"

"It was totally you yesterday!"

"No wait, remember? You needed me to get you your bands for your braces, and I was just outside so I could get them."

"...oh yeah." Mabel shrugged. "In that case, it's yours whenever _he_ gets out of there."

Within minutes the boy exited the bathroom, muttering only a quick "Excuse me" as he tried to squeeze by the twins. Fifteen minutes afterward, the two of them approached the dining table as their foster father tried his hardest to slather jam on seven pieces of toast.

"Okay, okay, Kimberly here you go." He playfully tried to fit it directly into her mouth, since her arms were full with books. "You head down to the bus with Tom and Andrew, okay? They're already out front. Oh! Dipper, Mabel?"

He reached down the counter and picked up a pair of paper sheets.

"Mrs. and I got them signed for you. And hey," he winked and offered them a thumbs up, "keep up the great work!"

They smiled as they accepted their signed progress reports. Dipper's had nearly straight A's, while Mabel had hers peppered with a few more B's, but they both had made the honor roll. Obviously, they hadn't been at all nervous to obtain the required signatures.

"Oh, and are you staying after school today?"

"I'm not," Mabel shook her head, making her hair bounce back and forth. "At least, far as I know."

"Same here," Dipper bobbed his head in her direction. "Might be helping out with something, but I got to double check…"

"If you are, just call, let us know, and catch the late bus back. Here, go get your backpacks on." After they had done so and returned, they were rewarded with a peanut butter and jelly toast breakfast. "You kids have a good day, alright?"

"Okay, thanks!" They chimed in unison before heading out the door to the bus stop. It was only a short walk, around the corner of the house and down the street a bit. Their housemates were already waiting there: Tom, Andrew, and Kimberly were waiting for the elementary school bus, and Ben and Vanessa for the high school bus..

"Hey." Ben motioned for them as they came closer. "Hey guys, I saw that movie you lent me last night. That ending was INTENSE! I mean the guy-"

"-was alive the whole time, I know right?!" Dipper began reminiscing about his favorite scenes from the film, while Mabel gravitated towards Vanessa. They struck up a conversation about a project Vanessa was working on ("The role of writing in ancient civilizations, yay…"), and managed to speak for about ten minutes before the high school bus came.

"Hey, see you guys after school!" Ben pointed at Dipper and Mabel. "Right?"

"Heh, that's right!" Dipper grinned. They watched as the bus turned the corner and left, and they grew silent, glancing over at the three other kids huddled together waiting for the elementary bus. Wary eyes watching them back, but the twins decided to leave them be this morning. The uneasy silence lasted until the middle school bus arrived, and Dipper and Mabel boarded.

* * *

"-and then she said, that they went into the back room of the alley, and-"

"-oh my God, no way! I would have never thought-"

"-I know! And with him too, are you sure you heard-"

Dipper sat at his table against the wall of the cafeteria, sketching in his notebook. Elaborate equations and fantastical designs rubbed elbows with drawings of flying saucers. Looking up with a smirk, he spotted his sister in the midst of her friends - although from the amount of dirt she was intent on digging up about them, he doubted if "friend" was the right word.

He remembered a book he had read a few months ago talking about "social capital", and he figured that's what she dealt in. She wasn't a social butterfly, she was a stockbroker, measuring benefit and risk and choosing each word with care. The efforts clearly paid off: they were near the end of their second year at middle school, and Mabel had become the central hub in the student body. There had been little surprise when she ran for student body president, and won. Dipper felt that he deserved a little credit, though, for helping her engineer her campaign. For two weeks Mabel's face was seen more on the campus than the school mascot, a memory that still left him feeling satisfied inside.

"Whoa whoa, hey," Mabel's voice interrupted his thoughts. "What did you say?"

Dipper looked up, his stomach clenching with excitement. Was he about to see…?

"I'm just saying," another girl protested, "I don't think _Wolfman Bare Chest_ is very well-written, I don't see it's appeal-"

"It's awesome!" Another girl lashed out. "How can you not love it?!"

"Jenny, please," Mabel soothed her. "Charlotte is perfectly titled to her opinion."

But Dipper could see the side glance that Mabel fired at Charlotte, the flicker of fear in the girl's eyes. She had gone against the group's orthodoxy, defined as Mabel's orthodoxy, and so by the end of the day, a dirty secret or two would begin floating the school. Whispered words, things overheard and said by friends of friends. No one would know where they came from - or no one would say - but every slander victim had a common transgression: crossing the twins.

Dipper returned to his notebook, wondering if Mabel would come to him for inspiration. He was just thinking up a couple of good slanders when a jeering voice sounded. "How's it going, Starshine?"

Dipper scowled and covered the star on his hat with his hand. "What do you want Gary?"

"Just wanted to sit. You don't own the cafeteria, you know." He pulled up a chair. From the other table, Dipper could see Mabel giving him a concerned look. "Have fun in gym class today?"

He felt his fingers twitch. They had had to run some stupid test today, going back and forth across the gym as long as they could, and Dipper had been the first to fail it. Gary had gone all the way until the bell.

"Not all of us can have coaches for parents," Dipper snarked, and he flipped up his journal trying to shield his face.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Hell, not all of us can even have parents."

He squeezed his pen so hard it slipped from his grasp. Dipper squeezed his eyes shut, thankful now he had put up the notebook.

"I have Mabel."

"Oh right, Miss Popular. Miss Goody-Two Shoes, Citizen of the Year-"

"Your mom seems to like her."

"Just because my mom's vice principal doesn't mean that she gets everything right about everyone. Especially with you two."

Dipper struggled to think clearly, to find a good comeback. In his silence Gary continued.

"Remember Emily last month?"

"Emily...in science class?"

"That's right, she had to go home after that 'accident' with the Bunsen burner."

"That's right."

"No," Gary leaned forward and lowered his voice, peering over Dipper's journal. "You listen to me. You were her lab partner, and I remember you griping the day before about how she never did her fair share of the assignments."

"Look, maybe it was convenient for me, but-"

"In the fall, Fred made fun of your weird constellation deformity. Two days later he was pushed down the stairs and broke his arm, but they never found who did it."

"Well maybe he had it-"

"And last year, Hunter got a broken nose when he ran into a door. Who does that?"

Dipper again remained silent.

"I'll tell you who: people who share a class period with a certain Starshine Boy."

"What do you want with me!? Why are you trying to pick on me like this?"

"You and your sister think you own the school, and you're wrong. I'm going to prove it. If you go to any of the administrators about this, all I have to do is open my mouth and you'll spend all of eighth grade in suspension!"

Dipper looked down at his journal, not willing to meet Gary's eyes. "Fine. It's a deal."

He could practically hear the smirk on Gary's face, felt him flick his cap, then the boy moved off. Dipper stared down into his journal, the events rather shocking to him. But he didn't cry. He hadn't cried in years. Not since that night.

"Dipper?" Mabel had left her circle of friends and come over to him. "What was that all about?"

He took his pen and scribbled down "Gary Feldman" in his notebook, circling the name with a zealous hatred.

"We have a lot to talk about."


	2. Academia

A week later, Mabel sat hunched over her spelling test, waiting for their teacher to state the next word. Dipper was in the desk in front of her, also dutifully bent over his paper.

"'Refuge'," the teacher read. "Campers often take _refuge_ in a tent. 'Refuge'."

Mabel wrote out the word in fluid cursive, the blue ink glistening on the paper before it dried.

"'Retaliate'," the teacher continued. "If you insult someone, they will likely _retaliate_ with words. 'Retaliate.'"

Mabel was just writing it out when the class door opened. A shy student came up to the teacher, delivered a pair of paper slips, and disappeared back into the hallway.

"Dipper, Mabel," the teacher said, "after the test, will you go to the office?" They nodded in affirmation, and so the test continued. Thirteen words later it was done, and they departed down the hallway together.

"Do you remember everything?" Dipper asked her. "And does Charlotte-"

"She'll remember," Mabel reassured him in a low voice. "As long as you got the stuff in his bag-"

"Slipped it in during gym today."

"And I stopped by his locker." Mabel put her hands on her hips. "I think we're ready, bro…"

A left, a right, and a long corridor brought them to the office, where Principal Eagleburger was waiting for them.

"Thank you, kids, for coming. I know this must be scary for you, but you're doing the right thing."

"Yeah, I just…" Dipper toned his voice with a faux whimper, and he made a show of rubbing his elbow nervously. "He's been messing with me all week, since I saw him, and-"

"Now don't you worry. Both of you kids, please wait inside." He gestured them through the open door of his office. Charlotte was already waiting in one of the chairs, and the twins sat on either side of her. Principal Eagleburger came around, pushed the button on the intercom, and announced: "Gary Feldman, please come to the front office. Gary Feldman to the front office."

Mabel glanced at her brother, careful to mask her face with worry. He kept his eyes downcast and solemn; yet, when he looked up at her briefly, she could see a hungry spark in his pupils.

"I'll go get Vice Principal Feldman, I should be back before Gary gets here." The principal left his office, letting the door swing close behind him. Mabel waited until it clicked shut before turning on Charlotte.

"You remember everything?"

"Yeah, yeah." The girl glanced from Mabel to Dipper, who was also glaring at her. "I swear I'll get it right! I mean, I'm even in Beginning Acting! I can do this!"

"Good," Mabel studied her fingernails, scraping a few bits of dirt from underneath them. "After this, the whole incident last week will just disappear. In fact, a little extra incentive…" she tapped her fingers on her chin. "I've seen you looking at Brandon a lot lately."

"I-What about Brandon?" Charlotte was petrified, exactly how Mabel wanted her.

"Pull this off for us, and I'll talk you up with Brandon. Drop your name, maybe suggest an invite to the end-of-year dance."

"Really?!" The promise of reward certainly lifted her spirits.

"Just keep everything in line, okay?" Mabel leaned back to look at Dipper, and gave a silent nod. He returned it.

The three of them sat in silence until the door opened again.

Mabel turned to see Gary's shocked face come in. Behind him was his mother, the principal, and the school's police officer on duty.

"Please sit down," Principal Eagleburger said to Gary. "Gary, do you know why you're here?"

"No." He cast a glare at Dipper though - unwittingly playing right into their trap.

"Well, we've heard some very...concerning things about you the past few days, and we were hoping to resolve the matter here." He sat at his desk, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands before him. Vice Principal Feldman stood behind him, her hands also folded. "Which of you would like to start?"

There was a pause - just long enough to pass for genuine uncertainty - before Mabel spoke up in a soft voice. "I-I'll go. Well, the other day, by the bus stops, I saw some kids, and they had this bag of white powder, and I was like, what? And I heard them saying they got it from a guy named Gary-"

"Hold on a second!" Gary grew angry. "What are you saying-"

"Let her talk," the principal shushed him.

Mabel hesitated for a moment, carefully measured, before continuing. "Well, yeah, I thought, 'There's tons of Gary's! It could be anyone!' But then I told Charlotte about it, and - well…"

"Yeah, earlier this week, I was in the bathroom," she recited. "And when I was in the stall, I heard two kids saying that Gary Feldman had some...was it 'speed'? And a lot of other stuff too, he was trying to sell it."

"Are you sure?" The vice principal was clutching her arms. "They said Gary Feldman?"

"Yeah, I'm sure of it."

"What?! No!" Gary's mouth seemed to have permanently fallen open. "No, I'm not selling drugs! They're lying! They're lying, I tell you! You got no proof!"

"Dipper?" The principal encouraged him.

"I-I…" he stammered out. "The other day, I had to come in to lunch late, because I was talking to a teacher? And, I saw, in a corner of the cafeteria yard, he was...he had this bag, filled with...green stuff-"

"Shut up! Shut up, you're lying!" Dipper flinched away, letting fear play across his face.

"Gary!" The principal rose from his seat. "Let him speak. Dipper, please."

Dipper took a long time to resume his testimony. "He...he saw that I saw him, and he got really mad. Said he'd...he'd...he'd kill me if I...if I-I told anyone-"

"I never said that! I _never_ said that, swear to God!"

"Did you bring your backpack to the front office?"

"Why?"

"Would you mind if we conducted a search of your pack and locker-"

"WHAT?! Everyone in the school would be talking about it, no way! You don't have the right!"

"Lockers and backpacks may searched if there is reasonable suspicion a student possesses harmful substances." He gestured to the officer. "Please, go ahead."

Mabel turned and watched the officer go out the door.

"Now Gary, in the meantime, can you tell us your story?"

"They're lying! I've never touched a drug in my life! I'm a good kid!"

But Mabel could see the disbelief in the principal's eyes. Indeed, Gary had been into the office a few times. She'd heard tell through the grapevine that Gary had been accused of bullying once, and a couple instances of low-level cheating. Already he fell short of the "good kid" mark, and once the officer got back…

The door opened.

"Mrs. Feldman? You may want to sit down…backpack," he held up a bag filled with pills, "and locker," a large switchblade.

The vice principal screamed.

"That's not mine! I swear to God, they're not mine! It's them!" He jabbed his finger at Dipper. "The twins, they're trying to set me up! They put it in there-"

The principal escorted them out of his office even as Vice Principal Feldman began ranting at her son, accusing him of lying and how could he embarrass her like this-

"Kids," Principal Eagleburger whispered, "thank you for having the courage to stand up and bring this to our attention. I'm proud of you. Here, we'll take care of this, go back to class. Gary won't bother you anymore, I promise."

They all muttered thanks, and watched him disappear back into his office. Mabel turned to Charlotte, who watched with worried apprehension. Mabel finally gave her a nod.

Charlotte broke into a grin. "Thank you!" she whispered, and excitedly ran back to her class, leaving Dipper and Mabel to return to English together.

"I can't believe you were able to get that many so quickly," Mabel whispered. "You sure no one noticed?"

"I nabbed 'em four days ago. Have the folks said anything?"

Mabel raised her eyebrows and scoffed, shaking her head like he'd just told a bad joke. "You are something else!"

"And you! He held up that thing, and I just...where did you even find that?"

"You gotta know the right people Dipper, that's how it works. Got it for ten bucks, how's that for a bargain?"

"For that scene back there?" He laughed. "Priceless!"

* * *

Whispers and rumors spread as fast as social media would allow. Therefore, by the end of the day, half the student body knew the story in one form or another, with details distorting and mutating with each retelling. It was only a couple of hours between the twins' office visit and the final bell, but in that short time Mabel had been approached by no less than two dozen people, hungry for details. She spent a whole minute blocking the bus door, trying to answer five questions at once, before she managed to shake herself free and take her seat beside Dipper.

"Oh gee," he smirked. "News takes such a long time to travel around here…"

Mabel laughed and gave him a playful punch. "We did it, bro-bro." With a relaxed sigh she folded her arms behind her head. "What do you think he'll get, anyways?"

"Read in the student manual that at the very least, two semesters of suspension, or an alternative school assignment." He dragged his backpack onto his lap and unzipped it. "And that's just with one charge. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets expelled from the district."

"Hmph, serves him right, pushing you around like that."

"Yeah, thanks." With a smile he pulled out his planner and flipped to the current page. "How much work do you have tonight?"

"Just my book presentation."

"You got the problem set done already?"

"What set?"

"For algebra!"

"Oh yeah, the worksheet." Mabel blinked. "Book presentation AND problem set, then! And...I'm pretty sure that's everything?"

"I got halfway through at lunch, even with Gary pestering me." Dipper scanned his planner. "Not too bad. I'm hoping to start on that history paper tonight."

"But it's not due for a week and a half! C'mon, let's do something fun tonight! You wanna go out bug collecting again?"

"Ehhhh," he considered it. "I _have_ been running low on crickets. And I did have this cool idea...how about we go for an hour after sunset?"

"Yes! I get to hold the net!"

"I know, you _always_ hold the net."

"That's because I'm the best at it." Mabel couldn't wait for the evening to roll around now. Over the past year, Dipper had started to take an interest in catching bugs and running "tests" on them. Often he was inspired by the Internet, but every now and then he came up with his own experiment. How long could a beetle swim in an inch of water? How long could a beetle swim in an inch of cooking oil? How cold could it get before a moth froze into an ice statue on the lid of its jar? How high of an amperage would it take to shock a cricket to death, and then reanimate its limbs? "What's your experiment anyways?"

"It's, well, more of a social one. You'll see. Here, if we're gonna have time though, we better start our work now."

"Ugh, fine." Mabel pulled out her binder. "Stupid homework."

By the time they reached their stop, Mabel had gotten through half of the problem set, so at least the effort wasn't a total loss. She hurriedly shoved it all back into her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she and her brother got off, walked down the street and up to the front door of their house. As they walked in, their foster father was on the phone.

"-thrilling! They should be home any time now, and I can tell them, unless you want to-" He spotted them in the doorway. "Oh! They literally just came in the door. Can I tell them?" He gave a triumphant grin; apparently he had been answered affirmatively. "Alright, I'll see you...tomorrow? No, Friday! Okay, thank you! Bye." He put his phone in his pocket. "Dipper, Mabel, exciting news! Put your stuff down and come into the kitchen!"

They glanced at each other, before dropping their backpacks by the door and following him. He gently knocked his fists together, unable to contain his excitement.

"Okay, are you ready?" He took a deep breath. "We've found a permanent home for you guys, with a family member!"

Mabel blinked in astonishment. Everyone in their family was either too infirm or simply unwilling to take them in. Glancing at Dipper, he had the same confused expression she must have been wearing.

"Uh, who?" she asked. "Grandpa Shermie?"

"No no, your Great-Uncle Stanford!"

Again, stunned silence.

"We have a great-uncle?" Dipper ventured.

"That's right, apparently the paperwork gave him some trouble, that's why it's been so long. But he's been approved for foster care, and he's pursuing adoption. Your social worker will be here on Friday, and she'll give you more details then!" He smiled.

"Wow, that's...really great," Mabel laughed nervously.

"Oh, come here." Their foster father came forward and wrapped them in a hug, which they mechanically returned. "I know, you're probably nervous, it's going to be a big change. But you're gonna love it, you'll find new friends, and honestly," he leaned back to look in their faces, "it couldn't have happened to a nicer pair of kids."

Mabel tried to chuckle, reply with a "Yeah, thanks," but her mind couldn't shake this uneasy feeling. Whenever she and Dipper transferred between foster homes, they had to start over again, reassert their way to the top, and the time in-between was terrible. Not to mention the whole feeling of being shunted from place to place made her feel...powerless. And she had had quite enough of that feeling, thank you very much.

"So, uh…" Dipper asked. "Where does our great-uncle live?"

* * *

Mabel sat at the computer, clicking through links.

"Gravity Malls," she had to pause and let it sink in. "They named their mall 'Gravity Malls". It's a town filled with puns." She shook her head. "I don't even know how to feel about that."

"Anything else?" Dipper called his question across the room, as he tried to transfer their catch that night into little jars.

"They have _a_ bowling alley, a place called Greasy's Diner," she looked around the map a bit more. "And lots of trees."

"Great, we're being shipped off to Nowhere, Oregon. And we don't even get to move until AFTER the school year ends, still have to turn in our final projects..."

"I know," Mabel turned around in the rolling chair and sighed. "I'm a little nervous, our foster parents have all been a little, you know, dahhh." She made a blank expression to indicate their naivety. "What if Great-Uncle Stan really cracks down on us? I mean, we don't even know what he's like…"

"Look, however he turns out, we'll just have to go with it, make sure we keep each other covered." He was just getting the last cricket into a jar, snapping the lid on before it could hop out. "If we have to play rough, we will."

Mabel nodded. Watching her brother prepare, she grew curious, and came over beside him. "Getting ready for something cool?"

"Yeah, just need to get one of my bins…" He reached beneath the desk, searching for his materials. Meanwhile Mabel picked up one of the jars, peering at its inhabitant.

Mabel loved helping her brother collect bugs; the nasty little things fascinated her, especially as they were manipulated and twisted through whatever means Dipper had conjured up. Even just looking at it now, watching the insect wander around its jar like the stupid creature it was, totally unaware of its future, totally dependent on the benevolence of whoever held it - it gave her a thrill deep inside to hold the tiny thing in her power.

"Alright," Dipper clapped a plastic bin with a high rim on his desktop. "Let's get a few crickets in here…"

"Here's one," Mabel handed over the jar she had been cradling in her hands. "So what are you gonna do to them?"

"Nothing."

Mabel cocked her head. "Well that doesn't sound fun…"

" _I'm_ doing nothing," he clarified, "but if we wait and watch…"

He added another cricket into the bin. Then another. Then another. Soon the bin was filled them, leaping about and failing to clear the walls of their prison.

"In biology we were learning about carrying capacity. An environment can only hold so many creatures before it's too full. What I want to see," he knelt down, resting his chin on his hands with a thoughtful posture, "is if the crickets themselves will do their part to...limit the population."

He watched, and Mabel watched. The crickets crawled over each other, their chirping cacophonous.

Then they began to pounce at each other.

"Ohh…" Mabel watched with growing fascination as the insects grappled at each other with their palps, knocking each other back and around.

"Yep," Dipper chuckled. "They're doing their part all right. Why don't we leave them be, we'll see the results in the morning?"

He reached under his desk again, pulled out the lid, and snapped it on top, stifling the chirps coming from within. By the time they had prepared for bed and climbed under the covers, the noise had fallen even more, hinting that only a couple remained alive. It'd be a marvel to look inside come daybreak.

Mabel sighed, and closed her eyes. Gravity Falls wouldn't be that bad, not with Dipper to make life interesting.

"Good night, Dipper."

"Good night Mabel."


	3. To the Mystery Shack

Dipper hugged his foster parents, making sure he held them long enough to appear genuine. He gave a gentler wave to Ben and Vanessa, and seeing them turn to Mabel gave a final look to the three younger children. Their faces were a mix of relief and anxiety, the latter taking over more as Dipper stared at them. There wasn't really anything more to do with them though. In a few minutes, they'd go their separate ways.

"Hey, you kids have a good time, okay?" Their foster father called as they climbed into the social worker's car. "Say 'Hi' to your great-uncle for me! And hey, if you're allowed, please call us! We'd love to hear how things go for you!"

"Hehe, alright," Dipper gave one final wave as he rolled up the window on the car door, "Yeah, bye! Bye!" The glass reached the roof. "Ugh," he slumped against his seat. "Finally." Now they just had to wait for Mrs. Gorpe.

"You get everything?" Mabel was going through the one suitcase they had dragged into the back seat. The rest of their stuff was stowed in the trunk.

"Yeah." He watched her unzip the bag's pockets. "Hey, can you find my book in there?"

"Ehhhhhh…ha!" She yanked out a copy of _Carrie_ and handed it to him. "There we are, and...come on…"

"Hm, let me guess? Front left pocket."

Mabel checked. "Yes!" She pulled out her pocket knife, the one that Dipper had bought for her birthday the year before. "Couldn't forget this bad boy!"

At that moment, Mrs. Gorpe opened her door. She was just getting into her seat when she spotted the knife in Mabel's hand. "Did they let you have that?"

"Well, yeah! It's just a little pocket knife! Plus it has a bottle opener, a corkscrew, two kinds of screwdrivers -"

"But what could you possibly need it for?" She left her car door open and had one foot on the ground, like she was ready to jump out and scold the parents.

"Oh, I like to explore around outside, and this thing's really handy. Plus I'm experimenting with wood carving. Look!" She dragged a crude wooden blob out of the suitcase. "This is my friend at school! Or at least, it's going to be when it's done." Dipper recognized the face alright, but it sure wasn't someone Mabel considered a "friend." In fact, this was the third copy she'd made of this person, the other two having met unpleasant ends...

Mrs. Gorpe breathed out her nostrils for a moment, narrowed her eyes. Finally she ruled it wasn't worth the effort, and closed her door. "You be careful with that thing."

"I am!" She hummed to herself as she flicked each blade out, then back in. Dipper could see that this was not comforting Mrs. Gorpe at all.

"So," he leaned on his elbow and stared out the window as their old home rolled away, "how long to get to Gravity Falls?"

"It's going to be about five, six hours. Do you have anything to keep yourself busy?" Again she looked in the rearview mirror at Mabel.

"I have a book, and she's got-"

"Do you mind if I do a little carving, actually? I promise I won't make a mess!"

"Absolutely not! What if we had a sudden stop, or if the road gets rough? You'll slip and cut yourself!"

"I can be careful!" Mabel put her hands on her hips. "Really!"

"No, I won't allow it. Don't you have something else you could do?"

She groaned. "I could draw, I guess…" She folded her knife and stashed it in her sweater pocket.

"There we go, that's a MUCH better idea right now. Alright, let's see…" she turned onto the main road. "We'll stop for lunch when we get into the town, okay?"

Dipper buried himself in his book, every now and then looking over at Mabel. She was busy sketching out new designs for wooden figures, and not many of them were flattering. They drove out of town, onto the interstate, the hum of the tires against the pavement rarely changing.

Two hours into the drive they crossed the Oregon border, which was little more than a sign amid an endless army of trees. An hour later, Dipper felt a tap on his arm. Mabel offered him a piece of paper which read: _Are you hungry?_

He looked up at Mrs. Gorpe, who was watching the road with vigilant eyes. She had said they'd eat when they got to Gravity Falls, but surely she could be persuaded? Gesturing for the pen he responded: _Yes. What do you want?_

Mabel got a big grin on her face as she wrote back: _Tacos!_

He gave her an annoyed look - she knew he did not like tacos, at all. _Ha ha. For real though._

 _Sandwiches or hot dogs?_

Dipper circled sandwiches, and Mabel nodded excitedly. With that agreement reached, now they just had to get their plan in action. Dipper silently indicated he'd go first.

"Mrs. Gorpe?" He curled his arms around his stomach. "I know you said we'd wait, but I'm _really_ hungry now. Urrgh…"

Mabel backed him up. "Yeah, I'm starving."

She glanced in the mirror at them. "Come now, we'll be there soon. After lunch it'll be a jump and a skip to your new home."

"But we barely had any breakfast this morning," Dipper complained.

He could see her stiffen a bit. "They didn't feed you before you left?"

Sure, it had been scrambled eggs, potatoes, and pancakes with plenty of milk and orange juice to chase them down, but details weren't important here.

"Just a little snack, they said we'd get food on the trip."

"No, I told them, I _told_ them we were stopping only for restroom breaks, and…" she sighed. "Alright, next chance we get, we'll stop. Anything you kids want?"

"SANDWICHES!" they shouted in unison.

* * *

To their great luck, a small sub shop appeared only five minutes down the road. Mrs. Gorpe decided to roll it into their scheduled pit stop, and after lunch she became determined to make it through without stopping.

It was two hours later that her voice finally spoke again. "Okay kids, here it is…"

Dipper looked up from his book again. They were approaching a large sign that read "Welcome to Gravity Falls", with a shining sun behind the lettering.

"We're here!" She looked in the rearview mirror, gave a thin smile, and repeated the sign's message: "Welcome to Gravity Falls!"

Looking ahead, Dipper could just barely make out the steeple of a church and a water tower, and beyond them rose a pair of cliffs that had curious gashes in their sides.

"This is your new home," Mrs. Gorpe announced, as if Dipper and Mabel hadn't been made aware yet.

Dipper looked over at his sister, raising an eyebrow and jerking his head towards the town. She simply shrugged and took to staring out the window, and he resigned to the same.

As they came up from the south, they approached the center of the town where a row of low buildings squatted, the talelst only three stories high. They took a left and followed the line of facades, until the road took a sharp right turn at the cemetery. From there they went past some restaurants, including an Hermanos Brothers ( _Great…_ Dipper thought bitterly) and Greasy's Diner ("Look, remember that place Dipper?"). Then they passed a used car lot on their right, a large tent colored pale-blue, and finally took a dirt road to the left.

"We're not even in town?" Mabel asked in disbelief. "Even in nowhere, we're living in nowhere!"

"Now children, behave. Your great-uncle lives far out here because he owns a tourist attraction. He runs a business, so he's a very serious man. I want you to be on your best behavior, okay? He won't want any trouble from you."

Dipper looked at Mabel at these words, and they exchanged little smiles. No trouble, sure…

Finally the road led to a house - a house that looked about ready to collapse. Signs were plastered around it, and lettering across the top read "MYSTERY HACK". An extra "S" was lying atop the roof. In front of the building, a small crowd was gathered around a man in a business suit and eyepatch. When Mabel opened her door, they could hear the man's voice in the air:

"For the love of - it's not hard to understand people! It is a ROCK, that looks like a FACE! It is not an actual face, I promise you!"

"But if it's just a rock," a voice answered, "then why doesn't it look like a rock?"

"AUGH! For the last time, just -" Suddenly he caught sight of the twins and Mrs. Gorpe. "Oh! Uh, you know what, you're right! Absolutely right! This rock _should_ look like a rock, but it doesn't. You wanna know why? Go buy the book in the gift shop! Go on, all of you! Haha, thanks for comin' folks!"

"Mr. Stanford Pines?"

"Please, call me Stan." He leaned on a walking stick topped with an 8-ball. "And you must be Miss Thorn?"

"Mrs. Gorpe."

"Right right right, which means these two are my great-niece and nephew, ha ha! How's it goin' guys?" He messed with Mabel's hair, much to her dislike. Dipper clapped his own hands over his hat. "Ah, little shy, huh?"

"Mr. Pines, I just have some final paperwork for you to fill out, and a few concerns to discuss with you."

"Sure sure, uh...kids, where's your stuff?"

"Mostly in the trunk," Mabel pointed. "We have a bag in the back seat though."

"SOOS!" Stan hollered. A large man in a green question mark shirt came jogging. "Soos, can you help them get this stuff up to their room?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Pines!" As Stan and Mrs. Gorpe proceeded into the Mystery Shack, he began lifting the bags out of the vehicle.

"Whoa whoa, careful!" Dipper yelled in alarm as Soos handled the suitcases. "My lab stuff is in there!"

"Oh, sorry dude." He took much more caution handling them now. "Lab stuff? Are you some kinda scientist?"

"Still in middle school, here."

"Right, got it! You're a boy genius, working in a top secret lab, can't talk about it. My lips are sealed, dude."

"Uhhhh…" Dipper gave a sidelong look to Mabel, who had no explanation to offer him. "Sure, whatever you wanna think."

"Oh man, do you think I could see one of your experiments? That'd be so awesome!"

Soos kept talking as he carried their bags upstairs, Dipper and Mabel each taking one on their own. Their room was a refurbished attic, which had two beds on opposite ends of the room and a triangular window facing the front of the Shack.

"Whew!" Soos set all of their stuff down on one of the beds. "There you go guys. Well, I better see what else Mr. Pines wants, but it was great meeting you Dipper, Maple."

"It's Mabel."

"Oh, right. Sorry, yeah, haha." With that he waved and exited.

Dipper looked around at their new living space. "Well, at least it's bigger…"

"Yeah, it's something." Mabel pulled out her pocket knife again, flipped the blade open, and began poking it into the walls. "Hey, it's soft...do you think Stan will let me carve some stuff here?"

Before Dipper could reply, they heard Stan's voice: "Kids! Come downstairs! Say good-bye to Miss Corpse!"

Coming to the first floor, they found their uncle trying to walk Mrs. Gorpe out the door.

"Mr. Pines, please, I'm just a little concerned about Mabel's possession of a knife."

"Look, it's not a big deal. She knows how to use it, right Mabel?" She nodded. "See? No problem!"

"Okay, even besides that, the rest of your paperwork I had questions on-"

"Hey hey, lady. You got my background checks, totally legitimate background checks that I did _not_ pay to have forged by a Canadian crime syndicate. You got my home reviews, you got all that stuff - I'm legit. I'm taking these kids under my wing."

"Mr. Pines, as their social worker I am obligated to-"

"Uh uh, what's this behind your ear?" He pulled out a hundred dollar bill. "Look at that, my old friend Benny! He says everything's alright here."

She stared at him. "Is this an attempt to bribe-"

"Uhp! Your other ear, I think it's...it is! Benny's clone! He also says everything's alright."

She looked around uncomfortably before settling on the twins. "Dipper, Mabel? You'll be alright here? Call me if anything goes wrong?"

"Sure thing," Mabel replied, and Dipper nodded in agreement.

"Very well. Stanford," she tipped her head and went out the door. Stan watched as she went off the porch and into her car, waving from the doorjamb the whole time.

"That's that!" Stan clapped his hands together. "Alright kids, time to meet your ol' Grunkle Sta-"

But when he turned around, they had disappeared. He was just in time to hear their door close.

"Oh right, right, long day…" he cleared his throat and called through the floorboards. "I'll call you down at dinner!"

They stared at the floor of their room, and then at each other. So their uncle, instead of a disciplinarian, was a cunning old con man.

They couldn't tell which would get in their way more.

* * *

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	4. A Town of Secrets

Dipper and Mabel quickly settled into their new routine. Every morning they grabbed breakfast - on the days that Grunkle Stan cooked, they didn't know whether to consider themselves lucky. On weekdays, the Mystery Shack opened sharply at eight, which also signified the end of breakfast. On top of normal chores, the twins ended up working in the tourist trap alongside their uncle, Soos, and a fifteen-year-old named Wendy.

On the one hand, Mabel detested the quietness of the first few days. Sure they took a trip around town, but they had made no more than polite introductions with most of the citizens. Most of their time they spent in the Mystery Shack. However, it did give her a chance to get a feel of the citizenry through the people she did have available - namely, Wendy.

"Thompson did what?"

"Ate a waffle off the road, for fifty cents!" Wendy laughed as she stocked the register counter. "I swear the guy will do anything you ask him to."

Mabel chuckled as she spritzed cleaner on a jar of eyeballs. "Anything?"

"Trust me, Robbie's known him for over ten years." She fit a stack of bumper stickers into a stand, and admired her handiwork. "What do you think? Will it get Stan off my back?"

"I think it looks fine. I'm almost done too."

Wendy inspected the jar. "Yeah, looks good enough to me!"

 _I know, that's why I said that._ Mabel kept her thoughts to herself, though, as she finished up. "All done!"

"Great! Now we have at least an hour before Stan yells at us to do more work." With a sigh she leaned against the wall. "It's a pretty slow job at times, you know?"

"Yeah." Mabel scanned the gift shop. There was a man that she had noticed in town...and she was pretty sure he had been in here before. "Hey, who's that?"

"Oh, him? Tyler Cutebiker, he's, uh…" Wendy thought for a moment. "I don't really know what he does. But he's harmless, always pleasant to talk to. He's always so...enthusiastic."

"Hmmm…" Mabel sized him up. He didn't seem particularly bright. He could possibly be useful later…

"Oh boy, here he comes." Wendy straightened up and put on a brighter voice. "Hey Mr. Pines!"

He stared at her. "What are you hiding?"

"What, can't I greet my boss when I see him?"

"Of course you can. The issue is you usually _don't_. You either did something, or you want something."

There was a silence. "Well...my friends and I are going to be hanging out today. It would be nice if I could go a half hour early…"

"You're gonna leave early even if I say 'no', right?"

"You got it."

"Fifteen minutes, and it's coming out of your paycheck."

Wendy shrugged. "I can live with that."

"Good!" He came behind the counter, opened the register, and began counting the money inside. "Hey, has Dipper come back yet?"

"I didn't know he was gone?" Wendy furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, I asked him to hang some signs in the forest. Gotta get the tourists in here! Oh, by the way," he reached into his vest pocket. "Put these new price tags up on that far shelf. Everything's being marked up!"

"Um," Mabel looked through the stickers she was handed. "Which goes where?"

"It doesn't really matter. If you see a number, put a BIGGER number over it, and I'll be happy!" With that he returned to register duty.

The two girls went to the opposite side of the shop. Mabel began peeling off the label backings and sticking them over the old prices. "You know, your group wouldn't happen to have room for one or two more friends, would it? I'd love to tag along, and Dipper might too."

"Oh, I dunno. My friends and I get into some pretty crazy stuff. I mean, you guys are twelve, right?"

"We're going to be thirteen by the end of the summer."

"Yeah, I don't know...but I mean, with your personality, I'm sure you can find lots of friends here!"

"I hope so." Mabel let her head droop, her motions slow. "Dipper and I...we're always pushed around by the other kids, in school and around the foster home. They always make fun of what I wear, and they pick on Dipper because he's so quiet. I don't know, it's hard to find friends…"

"Ooh, ouch." Wendy flinched. "I'm sorry to hear that. But you know, there's some nice kids around here, I'm sure you'll find someone. Don't let those other guys get to you, they're just jerks. And hey," she gestured for Mabel to look up at her. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here, okay?"

Mabel nodded, giving a weak smile. Inside, she grinned more fully. Garner the sympathy, get her on their side. Classic ploy...although it hurt to use the bullying line. Too much truth lay at its center, times that were unpleasant to remember. But no, no, don't think about that. Those were dead days, and they would stay dead. The two of them would make sure of that.

Even as her mind measured all of this out, she only gave a soft "Okay" to Wendy.

From there they chatted more about Gravity Falls. Wendy was just recommending that Mabel ask Lazy Susan for her famous "Lumberjack Pie" when the door of the Shack opened.

"Hey! How'd the sign hanging go?"

Stan's voice made Mabel turn around. She heard Dipper behind the shelves: "It went alright. I'm kinda tired out, though, from all that physical effort? I might take a break..."

"Sure, fine, but it's coming out of your paycheck."

"You...don't give me a paycheck…"

"I know, and it's great! Ha!" A silence. "Come on, that was funny, I - ah, just go on."

"Okay." Dipper came around the shelves until he found the two of them. Right away, Mabel noticed he was hiding something under his blue puffy vest. "Mabel! Uh, can I talk to you about something private, please?"

"Go ahead Mabel," Wendy winked, "I got this."

Mabel followed him into the other room. Dipper was carefully watching to make sure no one followed them. "Hey, bro, what's going on?"

"I found something in the woods."

From under his vest he pulled a dusty red book.

They ran up to their room, and he described how he had come across the strange tome.

"I can't believe this, it's amazing! I mean, look at this: zombies, unicorns, ghosts?" Dipper pulled the book closer to his face, rifling through the pages.

Mabel scanned its cover again; the front showed a golden hand with six fingers, and a black numeral "3" blazed across it. "Dipper, I know how excited you are, but are you sure this is even real?"

"You didn't see, it was in this secret compartment in the ground. You don't hide something like this unless it's important!"

"Sure, it's important, but...gnomes? I stopped believing this fairy tale stuff years ago. Maybe an author just got really paranoid about someone stealing their ideas."

"That's the other thing, the author isn't named, see? And the way the pages just stop, like they disappeared, or kidnapped-"

"Dipper, focus! One thing at a time."

He took a deep breath in, let it out. Another breath, let it out. Mabel could practically see his mind slowing down. "Okay, okay you're right. We have to approach this carefully. Logically."

"That's my brother. Now, how we can figure out whether this is real?"

Dipper flipped through a couple of pages, and his eyes lit up. "How about we go on a treasure hunt?" He turned the book around to show her.

"'Mystic Amulets Revisited…'" Mabel read aloud. "'Upon further research of these artifacts, I've found that they're not only useful for telekinesis and social persuasion, but also provide a more finely attuned consciousness and an overall mood boost. Careful! Found myself having a little too much fun with them.'" She looked at her brother. "Sound interesting to me…"

* * *

After the Mystery Shack closed that afternoon, Dipper and Mabel headed off into the forest. Stan hardly bothered with their activities. "As long as you don't die," he told them, "I'm good."

Dipper kept his eyes glued to the map offered in the journal. "Alright, they seem to be located in a sanctuary within the heart of the woods north of town." They set their path northeast, walking with the sun behind their backs.

"Here, can I see?" Mabel took the book from him, and keeping the amulets page marked with her thumb she began flipping through it. "You know, there _is_ a lot of cool stuff here. Gremloblins," she pointed. "Now that'd be something to see!"

"Yeah, or - ooh! Go forward a couple of pages, height altering crystals!"

"Ha, we could finally be the tallest kids in school! And then some..." Her mind began to conjure up fantasies.

Dipper caught the look in her eye. "Yeah, a lot of this stuff could be useful, I think."

"Yeah…" Mabel suddenly shook her head. "But here, let's just go one step at a time."

"Uh-oh, is my sister getting ahead of herself too?"

"Shush," she elbowed him. "C'mon."

They kept venturing deeper into the trees. Conifers surrounded them rank-and-file, tall branches catching the sunlight before it filtered through to the floor. They heard the song of insects and birds in discordant harmony, and the sweet smell of clean air. But there was something else, an anticipation, a wariness. Mabel felt it within her heart, an uneasy feeling, like they were being watched.

"Okay, if we see a tree marked with a triple spiral, we're supposed to go in the direction of the arrow."

"You mean like that?"

Dipper looked up at where Mabel was pointing. The exact design shown in the book was carved into the living wood. "Yeah…"

They glanced at each other. Could it be? Was the journal really authentic? With renewed vigor they followed its direction.

"So, Mabel, I saw you talking with some guys in the gift shop?"

"That's right."

"Let me guess, you're gonna hoodwink a new sucker into holding doors for you?"

"What else are boys for?!" She laughed. "I dunno if he's the right one though. I want my boyfriend to have a special something."

"Like money or power?"

"I was thinking a few extra inches on me, so he can get stuff that I can't reach. But I like your idea too. But enough about me…" Mabel had to stifle herself. "Let's talk about _you_."

"About me? What's to talk about me, there's nothing to talk about-"

"When are you going to learn you can't slip stuff past me? I've seen you looking at Wendy during work! Does Dip-Dip have a crush?"

"Don't call me Dip-Dip," as if he really expected that to dissuade her. "And no, I do NOT have a crush on Wendy!" His flushed cheeks called out his bluff though.

"Awww, my little bro's in love!"

"No, no I'm not." His entire face was turning red as he struggled to remain calm. Mabel loved seeing him squirm uncomfortably. "I mean, alright, I guess I kinda like her? But I don't have time to be chasing after girls and crushes. I've got other things to worry about." With a huff he buried himself back in the journal. "After we pass a seven-split tree, we should come up to a stone shrine, again with the triple spiral. That's where we should find the amulets."

Sure enough, they passed an old gnarled tree that had its trunk split into seven separate parts. Only minutes later they came up to a diminutive stone structure with the appropriate spiral etched above its entrance. Below the symbol was lettering cut into the rock: ZKRHYHU VWHDOHWK RXU SUHFLRXV WUHDVXUH VKDOO EH ODEHOHG DV "MHUNIDFH" IRU DOO HWHUQLWB!

"Um," Mabel narrowed her eyes. "Isn't it more effective if we can actually _read_ what it's trying to tell us?"

"If it was important," Dipper agreed, "they'd put it in words we could understand. Here, come on."

The entryway had a low overhang, and they had to duck their heads to clear it. Once inside, they found themselves in a round space. A hole cut into the roof allowed sunlight to shine down upon a raised dais in the center, where discoloration marked where an amulet had rested.

Now it was gone.

"Aw, no!" Mabel kicked at the dirt in anger. "Someone else got it!"

"Wait wait," Dipper looked around. "The journal made it sound like there was more than one. Let's see…"

He circled the walls, gazing at them. Looking closer now, Mabel noticed that some of the bricks had patterns on them. Dipper now crouched and inspected one that had the same triple spiral on it. With eager fingers he gripped the stone, pulled it out...and revealed another amulet.

"Ohhhh…" Mabel gasped as she glimpsed its turquoise gem.

"Ha! Found one! Here, let's see…" A minute later, he had uncovered a second matching amulet and handed it off to his sister. "We got 'em!"

"Actually," a gruff voice answered him, "what you've gotten is a whole heap of trouble."

The twins whipped around to find a group of three small men standing in the doorway of the shrine. Three _very_ small men, with pointed hats.

"By the authority of the Gnome Forest, you're under arrest!"


	5. Gnome Forest

"Come on, hands in the air!" Dipper looked down as the little men, dressed in miniature police uniforms, approached them. "You have the right to remain-"

Mabel took a few steps and kicked the frontmost gnome right out the shrine's entrance. Before the other two could react, she also punted them back outside.

Dipper chuckled. "Well, that just happened."

"Gotta think quickly!" Mabel tapped her forehead as they exited the structure. "Let's go before more of them…"

She trailed off as they stepped out, and found themselves surrounded by a small army of gnomes. Some of them were also dressed like police, helping up their fallen comrades. Others wore blue outfits with pointed red caps, including one that approached them now.

"Well look who we caught here. Back to steal even more, huh?"

"Back to…" Dipper shook his head. "What?"

"What are you talking about?" Mabel asked.

"Ahaha, how funny. Playing dumb, are we? Here, Carson, Mike, get me up there, let's see…" One pair of gnomes climbed atop another pair, and the one that appeared to be their leader took his place on top of the four of them. "There we are. Now! What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"Well…" Dipper thought aloud. "First of all, we didn't even know these were yours. And also, if they're so important, why don't you take better care of them?"

"We take VERY good care of our treasures! It's just that these treasures...well, they're important to us, but at the same time we can't be around them too much, bad things start happening, kinda complicated, but that's not the point!" He jabbed his miniscule finger in Dipper's face. "In the name of the Gnome Forest, I, Jeff Little-Legs, command you to turn over those amulets!"

"Hey, finders keepers, man...gnome...person. Pfft, what are you gonna do anyways?"

"Do not doubt our power, big one!" The gnomes all hissed in warning, and began to press closer. Dipper held out the stone. "Now, what did you do with the other amulet?"

"What other amulet?"

"The one you stole from us weeks ago! Jason here saw a small child run off with one of our amulets. Lo and behold, look who shows up to steal more."

"I don't know what you're talking about, we only moved in last week!"

"Likely story. Well, let's go get a verdict. Steve, get Nicodemus dressed up in his judge outfit, time to - woah, hold on…"

Jeff caught sight of Mabel, trying to ward away her captors by brandishing her amulet.

"Now isn't this our lucky day? Boys, can you get me…" The tower of gnomes swayed as it scrambled over to Mabel. "Excuse me, hi?"

She paused long enough to look him in the eye. "Yes…?"

"Listen, I know we're not meeting in the most traditional of circumstances, but we're actually looking for a new queen! I think you'd be just right for the position, all you need to do is marry all one thousand of us and we'll be good to go!"

"What?!" Dipper couldn't believe his ears. "Are you crazy, she's not gonna marry you!"

Jeff ignored him. "C'mon, what do you say, uh...what's your name again?"

"Mabel," she looked at Dipper and the gnomes, her face soft. "Mabel the Gnome Queen, I guess."

Dipper felt a jolt of alarmed confusion. Then Mabel glanced at him again. Not even a wink, but she had that look...Dipper realized he had to play along.

"Really?! Oh my gosh, that's amazing!" Jeff bounced up and down, nearly toppling over the gnomes he was standing on. "Wow, didn't even have to trick you or kidnap you or anything, easy peasy!"

"On one condition," Mabel added. "Let my brother go."

"Oh, uh, sure. Boys?"

The gnomes backed away from Dipper, who looked around at Mabel. He knew she had a plan, but he had to play his part convincingly. "Mabel, what are you doing?! You can't just marry them!"

"Look, I'm sorry," she took his shoulder. "This is for the best. Besides, being Queen of the Forest isn't a bad way to spend my life, you know?"

Her voice was compassionate, but her eyes still burned with delight. A thrill ran inside of him. "If you really think so...but you're sure about this?"

"Of course she's sure!" Jeff interrupted. "Now, shall we go prepare the ceremony?"

"Yeah, let's get this started. Oh but Jeff, please, why don't you escort me?" Mabel offered her hand.

"Well, if you insist my dear queeAAAH!"

The moment he had rested his hand in Mabel's, she yanked him up by the arm. In an instant she flashed out her pocket knife, flicked out the blade, and brandished it at the others.

"Back!" She hollered. "Stay back, all of you!"

They all fell back in shock. Dipper took advantage of the disarray to leap forward and seize a wild-eyed gnome, holding him aloft. "SHMEBULOCK!" he screamed in alarm.

"Ha!" Dipper retreated beside his sister with his hostage in hand. "Yeah, get back you -" He paused. "What's 'shmebulock'?"

"Let go of me!" Jeff bobbed about, swinging his fists at Mabel's arm without hitting her. "There will be dire consequences for this!"

"What? What are you gonna do, huh?" She waved around her other hand, which held both her knife and her amulet. "You're all like, what, six inches high?"

"Ten inches, for your information!"

"Yeah, whatever. The point is, there's no way you can take us down!"

"Uh…" Dipper tugged at his sister's sleeve. "Mabel?"

"What, are all one thousand of you going to march up to us in a single mob and haul us off to gnome jail?"

"Mabel!"

Dipper finally got his sister to look - sure enough, a huge horde of gnomes had gathered before them, hissing and baring their teeth. "Oh, stupid irony…"

"Listen up you two," Jeff tried to act as bossy as possible, despite the fact that Mabel still dangled him in the air. "Boy, you're going to the dungeons for a VERY long time! And Mabel, we need a queen, like it or not. The sooner we stop fighting, the sooner we can get on with our lives."

The twins looked at each other. They had the same mutual understanding.

"Never quite thought we'd go down like this," she said.

"Who says we're going down?" He tossed aside Shmebulock and picked up a sturdy stick. "Numbers don't have to mean anything."

"But they usually do." Mabel brandished her weapon - sure she'd used it as a threat before, but Dipper had never seen her actually use it against anyone. Still, better armed than he was. "Ready?"

He nodded. With a yell, they both rushed forward.

Their size gave them an advantage, and they managed to plow deep into the group before getting bogged down. Dipper felt teeth nipping on his ankles and his left shoulder, frantic scratching on the side of his face, little eager fingers grabbing at his clothes and skin. His stick snapped, and he tried to tear the gnomes off his body. For every one he managed to toss away, three more took its place. Kicking, lunging, nothing worked.

With a yell he was on the ground again, and he could feel ropes being wound around him. A dozen angry hands tried to pry open his fingers to obtain the precious amulet. Suddenly he heard his sister cry out; she had also fallen. "DIPPER!"

The fear in her voice, the sudden fury it inspired...he felt a great rush erupt inside him.

"Let her GO!"

There was a blast, and all the teeth and hands were gone.

"What the…?" Mabel and Jeff exclaimed together.

Dipper sat up, trying to draw heaving breaths as he looked around. All the gnomes within ten feet of him had been thrown away by a burst of turquoise light. Already the horde tried to close in again, but this time more cautiously.

"He's figuring out the magic," Jeff shouted. "No no no!"

Dipper looked down at his amulet. The gemstone glowed brilliantly now, and he noticed its light completely envelop his body. He felt powerful, energized, like he could take ten thousand gnomes instead of this meager crowd…

"Mabel!" he yelled. He saw her lying on her back, being tied down. "Use your amulet!"

"How?!"

"Just, uh…" Good question. "Just get really angry at them!"

"Right, because I'm totally not angry at them right now."

"Just really work it up, let it build up and then," Dipper tried it again, swinging his fist. Not as powerful as before, but he still sent four gnomes flying back.

"Stop them!" Jeff screamed again. However, now the gnomes were more reluctant to approach the twins, especially when Mabel's ropes suddenly snapped into the air. She lifted herself up and onto her feet, her entire body radiating with the amulet's power.

Dipper ran over to brush the last few ropes off her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, couldn't really work up a blast like you, but I think this'll work too."

"Now we just gotta get outta-" Dipper was cut off when a gnome pounced on the side of his head.

"HEY!" Mabel yelled. Clenching the amulet in her fist she punched, and the ensuing blast knocked the gnome twenty yards away.

"Get them, swarm them!" Jeff kept shouting. Now Dipper was worked into a frenzy though, and he could hardly see as he swung. His free hand collided with a gnome every now and then; his powered hand swatted them away by the tens. Through his squeezed eyelids he saw flashes of blue-green, every now and then a hectic glance at a hundred bearded faces mixed with fear and fury. He could hear Mabel beside him, also working her way through the crowd - and winning.

Soon the numbers grew thin, and the little men began scampering away. Mabel seized a few of the retreating gnomes and drop-kicked them into the bushes just for good measure. Dipper watched triumphantly as, at last, even the leader turned tail.

"You won't get away with this!" Jeff yelled as he ran away. "You two have no idea what you're messing with, you'll see what happens! You'll see!" And with that they were gone, and the forest was silent.

"Wow…" Dipper looked at the mess that had been left in the fight's wake. He suddenly became aware of an aching pain all over his body. "Here, let's head back."

"Don't need to tell me twice." They began making their way towards the Mystery Shack again. A few times the pain would grow too great and one of them would stumble; the other was ready to get them going again.

"Oh, thanks," Dipper muttered one of these times. His ankle had suddenly given out, and Mabel got him to a tree to lean on. Gingerly he tested his weight again until he was sturdy once more. "Hey, I wanted to tell you, quick thinking back there."

"Aw, psh, it was nothing. I mean, it was just one of our old routines. Not really much difference between pre-teens and gnomes, right?"

"Apparently not." Dipper chuckled. "But seriously, you really saved our butts back there."

"And you too! You got that amulet figured out now. Here, try it again."

"Eh, alright…" He didn't know how well it'd work now that he wasn't under pressure. By concentrating really hard, though, he found that he could will a few pebbles into the air. Their surfaces glowed with the same blue-green light as the amulet, and they orbited around each other between his palms.

"Ohhh!" She got excited. "Just imagine what we can do now! Floating things around," she gasped. "I could hold more than two knives at once! Here, let me try." Mabel also began levitating a handful of rocks. "Hehe, I've got four and you only have three."

"Huh, what?" Dipper counted, and sure enough she had an extra rock in her grasp. "Oh yeah?" He tried summoning two more rocks to float between his hands - and found his power overexerted. They all fell to the ground.

"Heheheh," Mabel grinned.

"I just...need practice, that's all." Dipper plucked up his pebbles again. He never got five to float, but by the time they had reached the Shack he had managed to get four rocks to levitate among his fingers. "This is so cool. Think about the possibilities..." Mabel was nodding, just about to agree with him when a large man startled them.

"Hey dudes!" Soos' abrupt appearance seized their attention, and their magic stopped working. The pebbles clattered about their feet. "Wow, were you doin' a magic trick?"

"Uh, yeah, just practicing now," Dipper bent again to pick up the stones.

"A scientist and a magician? You can do anything! Hey, do you ever do stage magic? I'd love to see something like that, heck I'd even give up a whole paycheck just to get a glimpse-"

"What was that?!" Stan's head popped out the door. "You'd pay to what?"

"Mr. Pines," Soos pointed at Dipper and Mabel. "Your great-niece and -nephew are magically gifted!"

Stan scanned them; Dipper could practically see his pupils change into dollar signs.

"...have you kids ever considered show business?"


	6. The Mystery Twins Mystery Hour

The stage was erected in the parking lot within days, but fliers had already circulated around town before the first board was laid. Less than two weeks after Dipper and Mabel had found their amulets, they were donning black capes and compiling their props as their first guests began to seat themselves outside.

"Hold on, let me…" Mabel straightened her brother's bow tie. "Alright. Now, how do I look?"

"You look fine."

Not trusting his judgment, she went down the hallway and checked the bathroom mirror. "I do not, my headband is crooked!"

"Oh, yeah, get that."

With a huff she pulled out her band and tried to place it correctly. She guided her hair behind her ears again, pausing to admire the headband's effect. It was a simple black color, excepting the aquamarine stone that graced it. It had been simple work turning the amulet into an accessory. Looking at it now, she felt overjoyed that she owned such a fine thing.

After a quick glance over the rest of her wardrobe (a black dress reaching to her knees, with a matching cape and shoes), she came back to the gift shop where Dipper was fumbling with the tie for his own cape.

"Darn things are too skinny!" He stuck out his tongue as he tried to complete the knot on his clasp. His amulet stone gleamed beneath his fingers. "Over, around, through...there!" With a dramatic flourish he swished his cape behind him. "How do I look?"

Mabel looked over his cape, his tuxedo, and his top hat covering his hair. "No more ridiculous than I do."

"Hey, people should eat this up. Right?"

"They should. I've learned one thing passing out fliers this week: the people here are NOT very bright."

"Isn't that always the case?"

"Even more than usual I mean. Trust me, once the school year comes around, we're going to be back on top."

"Especially if we pull this off." Dipper fiddled with the clasp for his cape again. "Should we get to the stage?"

"Yes, let's not leave our adoring public waiting." She gave a wave of her own cape to copy Dipper's and they both laughed as they left the gift shop and came up behind the curtain.

"Hey!" Stan greeted them both. "Alright, you kids ready? Got your props and everything?"

"Right here." Mabel picked up a large cardboard box that rattled with metal.

"Great! Let's see, quick note - don't step on the boards I marked with orange tape. There's a good chance you'll fall through and the last thing we want is a doctor's bill." He peeked through the curtain at the audience. "Are you kids nervous?"

"Isn't it a little too late to worry about stage fright?" Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Well, I just want to let you two know that no matter how you do tonight, I'm proud of you. Also I already collected admission, so if you bomb, no one's getting their money back anyways! So don't worry and just do your best."

With that he stepped through onto the stage. The twins heard the murmuring crowd immediately hush.

"Good people of Gravity Falls and paying tourists, you all know me, Mr. Mystery! And you all know my humble abode, the Mystery Shack, where questions fill your brain and empty your pockets. I've made it my life's work to bring you exhibits and oddities to confound your mind. But now, may I introduce to you for the first time in history a spectacle unlike any other! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my great-niece and -nephew. This is, the Mystery Twins Mystery Hour!"

With a round of applause, the curtain squeaked open. Soos manned the spotlight, and Dipper and Mabel became the objects of attention.

"Good evening Gravity Falls!" Mabel immediately put on her best cheery face. "I'm Mabel Pines, and this here is Dipper. We've put together a wonderful show for you tonight, so sit back in your seats and prepare to be amazed! Dipper, bring out the Plates of Puzzlement!"

Out of the box Dipper pulled a set of four china plates, each of which had a question mark hand-painted on.

"Tell me," Mabel took one, "what do you see here? You sir, officer! Look at this plate and tell me what you see?"

A large police officer sitting in the front row came up to the stage and accepted it. He removed his sunglasses, stared closely, turned back to his partner and gestured for him to come up.

"Please," she urged, "tell the audience."

"What do you think Durland?"

"I don't know Blubs," the second officer took it. "It's just a normal china plate, with some paint on it." He gave it a small lick. "Acrylic paint!"

"Uh, that's right," she reached down and took it before he tried to taste it again, holding it with only her fingertips. "Just a normal plate. But then again, if it was normal, how could it do this?!"

Just like we practiced…

She held the plate on her palm and willed it to float into the air. A rush of energy flowed from her head to the rest of her body, and the cool smooth touch of the china left her skin. An astonished gasp from the crowd filled her heart with glee.

"Oh, but that's not all! Dipper, another plate!" He placed another plate on her palm, which also began to float. He repeated it with two more, until four dishes hovered in the air. "Whoa, this is kind of a lot. Dipper, care to give me a hand?"

He passed his hand under hers. She released two of the dishes from her grip, and he took them up on his own, floating them over to his side of the stage. Another round of "ooh"s and "aah"s from the audience. From there the twins spun the plates around like coins, making them dance in the air before finally having them return to their fingers. Wild applause praised them.

"Thank you, thank you!" Mabel shouted above the din. Dipper nodded in recognition. His face had a wide smile, but he wasn't really one for the stage. He'd never been much of a performer himself, and he'd needed some encouragement from Mabel to go through with this plan. After all, he would benefit from putting his face out there. In the end he relented only on the condition that Mabel would do most of the talking, which she had absolutely no problem with.

"For our next trick, we shall bring out...the SPOONS!" She jogged over to their box and pulled out a handful of silverware. "Again, ladies and gentlemen, please observe these are real metal. Now, Dipper…" she held out a single spoon at arm's length, "show us the truth of the Spoons of Secrecy!"

Dipper narrowed his eyes, focusing on the spoon. Feeling up the spoon, sizing it up, paring it down, realizing there was no spoon...some kind of nonsense like that, she figured.

He stuck out his hand, slowly clenching his fingers. Mabel tightened her grip as the spoon shuddered, then buckled as it bent backwards. Yet again the crowd went crazy. Dipper bent two spoons at once, then three, then tied one into a perfect pretzel knot. With a laugh Mabel began tossing the remains into the crowd, watching people fight over them and going at each other. It was fun for her.

"Alright, well we're out of Spoons of Secrecy," she finally announced. "But for our next trick, we have something even better: the Chimes of Chance!"

At that cue, Stan rushed onto the stage pushing a rack. On the rack hung two dozen metal chimes, all different sizes.

"Tell me," Mabel asked with a sly grin, "how many musicians can play their instruments WITHOUT touching them?"

"Well there's theremin players," yelled a voice in the audience.

"It was a rhetorical question!" She snapped. "My point is, you've never seen anyone play chimes without a mallet - until now!"

She turned her back to the audience and began wagging her finger in the air, each motion causing a tone from a chime. Now she played two, then three at a time. She went through a minor scale, then a few chords she managed to memorize. Once again, great applause greeted her when she was finished.

"Thank you, thank you!" She gave a sweeping bow. "Now, for the final trick in our Box of Befuddlement, we have the enchanting Rope of Riddles! Dipper, would you care to call upon the Rope this time?"

Dipper pushed the box into the center of the stage, then stood back. He threw back his hands for theatrical effect, raised his head, and began chanting, "Ropus levitas! Objectus animatus! Escendo mysterio!"

The words were absolutely meaningless, but they held the audience's attention. Mabel scoffed to herself as she saw their rapt faces, totally ignorant about the truth behind this show. Glancing back at Dipper, she could see the amulet glowing beneath his neck. He lifted his hand, and a rope began to snake up out of the box. Once again the hushed exclamations as it lifted five, ten, fifteen feet above the stage.

"Well, that's our show everyone!" Mabel came up to the rope and grabbed on, giving Dipper a helping hand with her own amulet. She lifted into the air, with her brother grabbing on right below her. "Be sure to come back next week, and make sure to visit the gift shop after the curtains fall! Good night!" Their uncle's spiel out of the way, the rope began to lower into the box, and soon the twins disappeared inside. The curtains closed. Then they jumped out of the box.

"Augh!" Dipper flopped out at once. "Okay, next week, we need a bigger box. We barely fit inside!"

"Agreed," Mabel rotated her arm around a bit - the way she had landed beside her brother, her arm had to bend very uncomfortably. "But hey, listen…"

The applause still hadn't died down. They looked at each other with excitement.

"They love us!" Dipper exclaimed.

"I know! If we keep this up, we're going to be the town darlings. Think about it - nobody would mess with us if we were loved by everyone here. We could get away with almost anything!"

Before her brother could respond, they heard Stan yelling, "Kids! Get over here!"

They ran down to their uncle, only to find him surrounded by a mob of customers demanding to hand off fistfuls of cash. He flashed a bright smile at them.

"Kids, great show tonight! Hold on," He turned back to the crowd. "Yes yes, two T-shirts, here you go." He handed off the merchandise to the customer, then looked back. "Look at this! They're goin' nuts for you two! Keep it up!"

Part of the crowd began to envelop them, followed by intense handshaking and back patting and even a couple of autographs.

"Oh please, please, only one per person." Mabel glanced over at Dipper - he looked really uncomfortable with the sudden influx of contact, but given that it was exclusively positive, he at least appeared to be somewhat enjoying himself.

It took half an hour for the yard to clear. Stan cackled as he rifled through the thick wad of profits from the night, Soos tipped his hat and wished them goodnight, and the excitement was over.

"Oh, hold on," Soos grabbed their attention one last time before he walked away. "Someone wanted to talk to you two, he should be back out soon. Ah, here he is!"

From inside the Mystery Shack came a small boy, very pale and very well-dressed. He had a large white bouffant, a pale-blue suit, and a wide smile.

"Well howdy!" He came up to the twins. "I've been meaning to stop by, but I never found the time, I'm so sorry fellers. Anyways, I wanted to give you a hearty welcome to Gravity Falls! By the way, I loved your show today, impressive first performance!"

"Uh, thanks," Mabel looked him over. "But, who are you exactly?"

"Oh, my apologies. The name's Gideon Gleeful, of Gideon's Tent of Telepathy!"

"Next to that auto mart down the way?" Dipper asked.

"That's the one, yes! Dear ol' Pop runs the shop during the day, and in his spare time he helps me put on my own psychic show. And actually, when I heard about your show, it got me thinking...we could totally work together! Think about it, shared branding, tourism bonuses, discount ticket bundles, whew-wee!"

"Huh, I dunno…" Mabel felt like this kid would be a lot of work - she wanted to have a strong network going before she tried dealing with him. "I mean, we're just starting out here."

"Oh, I understand, I understand. I mean, I'm just a stranger I know, just flattered to meet you after all." He grinned at Dipper, Mabel - and Mabel caught a little flush in his cheeks as he looked at her. "But you know, I think we might be more similar than you think."

"Is that so?" She crossed her arms.

"Well, let's just say that fancy wordplay doesn't fool everyone…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bolo tie - with a very familiar stone attached to it.

"Another amulet," Dipper breathed. "You're the one who stole it!"

"Stole?! No no no, I found it in a stone cave in the woods!" He suddenly looked up in alarm. "Why, did it belong to someone, are they missing it?"

"Well, let's just say we had a bit of trouble getting our own amulets."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Do you think it's too late to return it? I mean, I need it for my show, but…"

"Do you want to be thrown in a dungeon?" Mabel replied.

Gideon nodded. "Yeah, I guess what's done is done." He shoved it back in his pocket. "But honestly guys, I really liked your show. I do have a few pointers though. First of all, all black is so last century. Have you ever considered a bit more color?" He gestured at his own pale blue suit. "I can fix you right up if you'd like."

* * *

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	7. Hospitality

"How's it goin' in there?"

"Hold on a second!" Dipper growled as he tried to fiddle with the last few buttons on his shirt.

"Oh don't rush, don't rush, just makin' sure it's all good!" Gideon's voice was starting to grate on Dipper's ears. He acted far too cheery and bright, even for a kid whose last name was "Gleeful", and the famed Southern hospitality already felt suffocating. At least, Dipper thought to himself, they were getting a free outfit out of all this.

Dipper finally unlatched the dressing room door and stepped out, finding himself blinded again by the bright pink room. Gideon's eyes lit up.

"You look great! Told you we had something your size!"

Dipper couldn't lie, the blue collared shirt and black pants did look nice on him. They offered far more status than his T-shirt and shorts, at least.

"I gotta hand it to you Gideon," Mabel was posing in front of a mirror and admiring herself, "you do have a way with fashion." Her outfit matched Dipper's; her black skirt twirled as she spun around, and a blue blazer covered a white undershirt.

"Oh oh!" Gideon dashed over to a dresser and yanked the top drawer open. "Hold on…" He opened the second, and the third. "Aha!" He pulled out a black ribbon. "I'll tie you a bow to wear, it's just what you need!"

"So, uh," Dipper watched as Gideon reached up and tossed the ribbon around Mabel's neck, "why do you have these clothes in your closet anyways? Especially a girl's blazer and skirt?"

"Oh, we had a couple of folks some years ago who used to perform with me, but they moved out. They weren't too fond of the woods, really. I couldn't bring myself to toss out their stuff though! Let's see, perfect!" He finished tying a beautiful knot, and gestured her towards the mirror again. Dipper found it ridiculous how Gideon was trying to be so gentlemanly and mature when he was a whole head shorter than the two of them. "You look so lovely in that."

"Thanks," she giggled, "I know."

"Dipper, I can tie you one too?"

"No, that's alright." Dipper clasped his hand over his amulet.

"Ah, can't blame you, really. Although we should really do something about that hair. Let's see, if we slick it back…" Gideon tried to brush back Dipper's bangs, but he recoiled away at the kid's touch. "What's wrong?"

"My hair's fine."

"Oh, just a little hair gel wouldn't hurt. Come on!

Dipper looked down at him, then with a sigh he pushed his hair back to expose his birthmark, glaring at Gideon and daring him to laugh.

"The Big Dipper!" Gideon gasped. "Well, ain't that just interestin'. Why would you want to hide that?"

"A lot of people find it interesting to laugh at. That's why I don't go parading it around."

"Aw," Gideon nodded sadly. "Listen to me though, you shouldn't try to hide it. I've learned one thing growing up here, and it's that this town is filled with things that are special and unique. I don't see any reason why you should cover up what makes you special."

"So you're saying I should go and enter myself into a freak show?"

"I'm saying, don't think of yourself as a freak show. I'm saying embrace yourself, and others will do the same. And if they don't, bully for them. There's no need to be afraid of what they'll-"

"I'm not _afraid,_ I just…" Dipper shook his head. "Here, let's try it." He was handed a jar of gel, and taking a handful he slicked his hair back. The result was actually pretty impressive. Between the new hairdo and clothes, he seemed like a new person.

"Oh, and for the stage, matching capes." Gideon handed them over. "When's your next show by the way? I'll give you a shout out tonight!"

"I think next Wednesday?" Mabel answered. She was still looking over herself in the mirror. "Tonight, our uncle's throwing a party, supposed to help us meet people."

"That's tonight?! I won't be able to make it, I can't cancel so late! And I was so hoping…well, I uh..I wanted to, I..." he took a deep breath, "Mabel would you go on a date with me please?"

He spat it out so quickly that it hardly registered with Dipper at first. Once it did though, he whirled around and stared at the small boy. Gideon was flinching, keeping one eye open in hopeful anticipation. Mabel had her hand on her chin, considering deeply.

"A date huh? Alright, how about...this weekend?"

"Really?!" Gideon squirmed with excitement. Dipper could barely keep himself from groaning. "Saturday at three o'clock sound good?" A nod. "Oh thank you Mabel!" He gave her a tight hug. Dipper could see her face, and behind Gideon's back she rolled her eyes.

'He's rich', she mouthed.

* * *

"Alright, let's see." Stan scanned down his checklist. "Wendy, you got the cash box, right?"

"Right here," she held it up.

"Soos, is your DJ station ready?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Pines! We're gonna break it down tonight!"

"Sure, whatever. And you two," he pointed at Dipper and Mabel, "time to make some new friends! I've put flyers all over the place, and at least half the town's coming tonight. Just what you need to get settled in!"

"Uncle Stan," Dipper had one of the flyers in his hand, "are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're trying to advertise the Shack to younger people?"

"Hey, it's a nice bonus, I won't lie. Here, you kids get ready, the guests will be here soon!"

Dipper took one more trip to the restroom to check his outfit. He nervously fingered the birthmark on his forehead, sighed, straightened his collar one more time, and then readjusted his bolo tie. Gideon had given him a generic one, and Mabel had affixed the amulet to it. As Dipper traced its outline with his fingertips, he felt a wave of relaxation flow through him. _It's going to be fine, they won't laugh,_ he thought. _They better not._

Suddenly an image flashed in his head, mocking ridicule. An asp of anger arose within him. He clutched the amulet tightly, before finally taking a breath and calming down. Dipper blinked. He didn't know where that had come from...but he shook his head. Just nerves. He'd be fine.

Voices were coming from the other room, and the humming beat of the bass began to shake the walls. "Let's get this party start-ied, everyone!" Soos called over the microphone. With that, Dipper steeled himself and ventured into the wild of the dance floor.

The room had been tinted red and orange with lights, and a disco ball threw sparkles on every surface. People crowded everywhere, dancing or chatting or lounging around. Stan was leaning on one of the balconies, grinning as everyone poured in. Endless babble and booming music seemed to press in. Dipper eyed the center of the dance floor warily, and ended up sliding around the edges. He saw Mabel on the other side of the room, talking excitedly to a group of girls. She pointed at him, her lips still speaking as she did. He guessed that she was introducing themselves. One of the girls began to make her way over, weaving past the snack table to get to him. She had a blond ponytail, a bright pink jacket, and bright blue nails on the hand she thrust at him.

"Hi!" She smiled. "I'm Pacifica. You're Dipper?"

"Yeah."

"Your sister was just telling me about you, said you're a little more shy?"

"Not much of a people person, no." He forced a small laugh. "Sometimes a conversation feels too much like a game of Twenty Questions, you know?"

"Yeah, I hear you." She glanced him over. "But you know what, if you'd like to join us, I have my friends with me, Candy, Grenda?" She waved across the floor at them, and they waved back before turning to Mabel again. "There's a lot of good people in town, I'm sure you'll find someone you're comfortable with."

Dipper suddenly felt unsettled by her smile. It seemed a little too warm, and the way she looked at him...he quickly tried to change the subject. "Yeah, thanks." He coughed. "You know, I think I heard your name before? Pacifica, right? You're part of some important family?"

"Ugh, don't remind me." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm one of the Northwests. By name only though, my family's not the most…" she bobbed her head around, looking for the right word. "Honest? Upstanding? Ethical? All of those. Long story, but when I was little I found this hidden room, and let's just say I haven't had a lot of family pride since then. Drives my parents nuts, but at least I'm doing something about it. Remind me some time, I got a lot of dirt to dish out on my ancestors!" She laughed, then suddenly spotted the refreshments. "Hey! Want something to eat from the table?"

"Hm? Oh sure, let's, uh-"

"No no, I'll get it!" She disappeared into the crowd before Dipper could remind her she didn't know what he wanted. He leaned against the wall, scanning the crowd - and Wendy's face jumped out at him.

He felt a sudden lurch in his gut. Turning around, he saw one of her friends at the booth; she must have convinced him to fill in. Wait, why did this matter to him? It didn't matter to him. So Wendy was inside, who cared? So what if this was the perfect opportunity to ask her to dance? Dipper didn't care, he had more important things to worry about without her red hair, her laugh, her strong vibrant personality, and why was he zoning out-

"Hey Dipper!"

Wendy's voice made him stumble back. "Wendy! Wendy Wendy, hi! You're in from outside, huh?"

"Yeah, Lee took over for me. I couldn't pass up this party, you know?"

"Haha, yeah, it's been great, glad to have you in here!" He stole a glance back at the refreshments - Pacifica had loaded up a plate full of food, and was trying to balance a second plate on top as she reached for more. He secretly wished for her to stay there as long as possible, and didn't hear Wendy's voice. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Have you met my friend Robbie?"

Dipper felt another lurch, this one more inflamed, as he noticed a teenager standing nearby. "Sup, squirt?"

"Robbie, be nice," Wendy elbowed him. "He can come across as a bit...brash, sometimes, but he's a nice guy deep down, I promise."

"Woah, dude," Robbie pointed at Dipper's forehead. "What's up with your face?"

"It's nothing, nothing!" Dipper instinctively reached for his cap - and remembered he was not wearing one. "I, I…"

"Robbie, stop it." Wendy looked both cross and concerned. "Be nice to him, okay?"

She was protecting him, and it infuriated Dipper. The way she seemed to coddle him, like he needed sheltering

"You know what this is?" He stood up straight and tall (only coming up to the teens' chests), held up his head, and jabbed his finger at it. "This is my birthmark. This is how I got my nickname. That's 'what's up with my face'."

"Woah, take it down a notch, I was just curious! Sheesh…" He shoved his hands into his pockets and skulked off.

"Hey, I tried to tell you." Wendy called after him. Then she turned to Dipper and lowered her voice. "By the way, nice job. His ego could use some downsizing." She winked, then followed after him.

Dipper could hardly believe how amazing he felt. Wendy's wink had again set him aflame, but this time he burned with ecstasy. As for Robbie...he already envisioned a few different ways to remove him from the picture.

"Hey!" Pacifica's voice interrupted his fantasies. "I realized I forgot to ask what you wanted, so I just brought you a little of everything!"

"Uh, thank you…" Dipper took the plate and had a few of the hors d'oeuvres - which were mostly crackers with spray cheese. Apparently Stan considered even the spray cheese a luxury that they could have gone without.

"So, anyways, like I was saying," Pacifica spoke with her mouth half-full. "My family, let me tell you. For years we tried to claim we founded the town, right? But apparently, there was this whole cover-up…"

He wasn't listening however. Instead, Dipper's eyes followed Wendy across the dance floor. She and Robbie were talking, laughing, sipping punch from their cups. He whispered into her ear, and she guffawed. They were close, Dipper could see that, and it tore him up inside.

"...say much about it, a matter of 'national security', but yeah, Nathaniel was really just a village idiot. Then there was my great-great-aunt some time back, and the Pie Pyramid Scheme of 1912 that she tried to pull off…"

"Here, uh," Dipper cleared his throat. "I actually have to use the restroom. I'll be back in a bit."

"Oh sure, sure! Hurry back!"

Dipper made his way past the DJ table, watching the couple with scowling eyes. Briefly he glanced at Mabel, still talking to Candy and Grenda. She seemed to point at Pacifica, and the three of them giggled over some shared joke. He was almost at the exit, staring back at Robbie - who caught his eye and shot him a cocky grin.

Dipper gritted his teeth, and in a rage grabbed his amulet. Robbie raised his cup for a drink. With a flick of his finger, Dipper tilted it up and made the whole thing run down his face. He could hear the sputtering, the "What what?! Ugh!", the hilarious laughs from Wendy. With deep satisfaction, Dipper climbed the stairs.

* * *

A few minutes later, he was sitting in his bed with his shoes off, flipping through the journal again. He had already scanned through almost all of its pages, some more than five times, but he often picked up on some scribbled factoid that he had skipped over before. Between haunted paintings and truth-telling teeth, it was hard to believe that everything it listed really sat out there in Gravity Falls, waiting to be found and used.

Dipper really began to think about what this journal could do for him and Mabel. Sure they had managed to outwit adults and teenagers on their own, and force their peers into submission. Even then, though, they were still at the mercy of the adults, who could be tricked but never forced. Now if they had a vampire bat or a ghost on their side, they'd be able to really assert themselves. Whoever wrote this book must have been a god among men…

Which got Dipper going along another train of thought. No name, no clue to their fate...who had compiled this book together? And what had happened to them? Whoever they had been, Dipper sorely wanted to meet them. Maybe it was a kindred spirit, someone who understood what it was like to be shoved around, someone who had stood up and said "Enough". What he wouldn't give to know.

With a sigh he turned the page again, finding something that particularly piqued his interest: a spell scribbled in the margin. "To conjure fire…" Dipper held out his hands. "Ignis Manibus Creatius."

He felt a tickle on his palm, and a tiny lick of blue flame flickered before disappearing. Concentrating harder he repeated, "Ignis Manibus Creatius!"

This time, with a massive effort, he managed to sustain a small blaze in his hand. Looking around, Dipper grabbed his own notebook, tore out a page, crumpled it into a ball, and fed it to the fire. He watched spellbound as it crumbled to ashes, transfixed until he heard the door click open.

"Heya kid!" Stan's voice made him jump.

"Uncle Stan!" He waved his hand to extinguish the flames and slammed the journal closed. Something this important, he didn't want anyone else to know about it outside of Mabel. "What are you doing?"

"Just seein' how you doin'. I saw you leave the party. Did you strike out with that girl or somethin'?"

"What? No, I just got tired I guess."

Stan nodded. "Whatcha got there?"

"Nothing." He covered the book with his arms.

"Ah, one of _those_ publications. Getting to that age, huh?"

"What?"

"Ah, forget it." Stan sipped a can of Pitt Cola. "If you wanna come back down though, a lot of people are asking for you."

"Maybe I -" The words sunk in after a moment. "Wait, asking for me?"

"Kid, you're a local celebrity now! Those tricks you pulled off on stage, the whole town's talking about them. Heck, I've been doing feints and hoaxes for years and you've stumped me! I was kind of wondering myself, how _did_ you and your sister pull off those tricks?" His eyes narrowed.

"Uhm…" Dipper looked at the book, felt his amulet. "I, uh…"

"Ha, passed the test! A good con man never gives up his secrets!"

"Isn't the saying 'a good magician'?"

"Eh, potato potato. So hey, see you downstairs?"

Dipper nodded, and Stan left. He opened the journal again, turning the pages absentmindedly, trying to get his mind back on track. The author, that's right, where had they gone? He paused at one page, trying to piece together what was on the paper. It looked like half a circle connected to the corner of a triangle with circuitry tying the whole thing together. He had no real idea what it was, some kind of advanced weaponry? It was almost like it connected to something off the page…

Wait.

He closed it again, staring at the cover. "Three…" That meant there were two others out there. Two more journals full of secrets, spells, hidden treasures around the town. But where were they?

Dipper looked around their room, searching for any kind of inspiration, feeling at his amulet again. The amulet...how did Gideon know where to find his?

"Hmmmmmm…" his mind worked furiously. "Mabel _is_ going on that date with him."


	8. An Examining Engagement

"Remember, you gotta find out if he has the journal-"

"I know, Dipper."

"But don't make him _think_ you're trying to find out if he has the journal."

"I know."

"And don't let him know that we have one of the journals."

"I know, I got it!" At that moment, Mabel heard the doorbell ring.

"Good luck, sis." Dipper gave her a smile and a thumbs up before returning to his reading, and she went down for her date.

Except it wasn't her date. A minute later she ran up the stairs screaming in delight.

"THEY CAME!" Mabel kicked the door open, making Dipper fumble with the journal. Her fingers itched to tear open the package in her hands. She flicked open her pocket knife, sliced the tape, and tossed the packing peanuts everywhere as she dug for her prize. "Dipper, check it out!" From inside, she pulled a sleek wooden case.

"What _is_ that?"

"This, my dearest brother, is going to be our new act." Mabel clicked the latches and threw the lid open, revealing a set of six long throwing knives.

Dipper stared at the knives. Mabel looked eagerly at him. He met her eyes, made the connection, and started shaking his head.

"...no no no, Mabel listen to me, there is _no way_ I'm going to let you throw those knives anywhere near me!"

"Aw come on! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, because you're not on the receiving end. What's wrong with the tricks we have now?"

"They're going to get old soon. Besides, you know I've always wanted a set of these! Please, Dipper?" She clasped her hands together and pouted, making sure her eyes were big and round.

"Nope, that's not gonna work this time!" He forcibly lifted the journal in front of his face so that it blocked her. Mabel didn't let up. After a few seconds he peeked over the edge again, and sighed. "Fine, just promise-"

"THANK YOU!" She jumped over and grabbed him in a big hug, lifting him off the floor.

"Ack, Mabel!" With a final squeeze she set him down, where he teetered for a second, trying to get his balance back. "Just promise me you'll get some practice in before you try throwing those at me, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." She extended her hands, focused on her amulet - although she didn't have to as hard anymore, it was like second nature now - and willed the knives to float out of the case. "Look, see, I can control them. I think I'm already pretty good! Here, see the lamp? Pretend that's your head, I just go, whoosh!"

Mabel pointed, and one of the knives zoomed towards the lamp. It caught the side of the font, shattering the right half, and sent the entire light tottering over until it shattered on the floor. Both of them stared for a while.

"I'll practice."

"Thank you."

With that Dipper began reading the journal again. Mabel kept playing with her new toys, floating them one by one into the air, then in twos and threes.

"Check it out!" She traced a path with her finger, and the blade corkscrewed through the air.

Before Dipper could note on it, they heard a scratching in the walls. It went past Mabel's bed, to the far side of the room...and then a mouse peeked its head out of a hole.

"Aw, look at it." Mabel cooed as she twirled her knives around more.

"Hmmm…" Dipper slowly extended his arm, trying not to frighten the creature. With a flick of two fingers, the mouse was suddenly caught in a blue glow and flew towards him. The creature wriggled in the air as it floated above his fingers. Its protesting squeaks refused to relent.

"Ha, nice catch!"

Dipper stared with a cool, distant expression, then waved his hand. The glow vanished, and the mouse thumped back to the floor. Right away it scrambled to its hole. Before it could reach safety, however, it again found itself trapped as Dipper summoned it back. Once more it cried for release, and once more the call went unheard by its captor.

After a couple more repetitions, Mabel grew bored and went back to her knives. She had just gotten them to circle around her, like a shoal of sharks, when the doorbell rang once more.

"Alright, I bet that's him this time." With a wave she directed the knives into their case. Instead they clattered in a heap. "Ugh, gotta work on that…"

She replaced them by hand, then left the box on her bed. A final check over her outfit, then Mabel descended. She opened the front door.

"My lady," Gideon held out his hand, "a magical evening awaits."

* * *

"And then the lawyer says, 'That's not a tissue box, that's my wife!'"

Gideon burst out laughing at his own joke, and Mabel politely gave a chuckle while looking around the restaurant. They had decided to go to The Club, some high-end restaurant on the edge of a cliff. She looked around her. Among the dramatic red curtains, tables and chairs were only sparse, and it was easy to see the couples whispering and pointing at the two adorable child stars on a date. At least the food was good, though.

"Ah, whew!" Gideon wiped a tear from his eye. "Man, this has just been a regular riot so far!"

"Yeah, this has been fantastic, it really has." She took a sip from her glass, and glanced back just in time to see Gideon look up from his left palm. "What's that?"

"What? What's what?" The instinctive flex of his fingers…

"Gideon Charles Gleeful, what do you have on your hand?"

"On my hand?" His eyes shifted from side to side, then he held up his other hand. Even if she hadn't seen him looking, his flushed cheeks gave him away.

"Show me!"

He drooped his head in shame and held out his palm. On it was a numbered list written in ink, starting with "1. Confident greeting" and ending with "6. Give necklace".

"What is this?"

He sighed. "It's a step-by-step plan to have a perfect date tonight. I really didn't want to mess this up, so I put together my own secret steps to make it all go well."

Gideon tried to withdraw his hand, but Mabel held onto it. "'Give necklace'? What does that mean?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise, for the end of the night, but if you'd like…" He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a leather jewelry box. Flipping it open revealed a chain of silver, and a star hanging from it.

"Ohhh! It's beautiful!" And she genuinely meant it - the jewelry actually really struck her fancy. She grabbed it away and pulled out the necklace, fastening it around her own neck.

"I'm glad you like it." He stared sadly at his palm again. "I was hoping to leave it as a grand finale though…"

"Oh, Gideon, I'm sure anything we do will be fine!" Mabel could hear the silver star clinking against her amulet. She felt a lot more enthusiastic now; she could certainly get used to gifts and fine dining. And speaking of fine dining, their dessert was just coming towards them now.

"Oh, thank you!" Gideon smiled as the waiter set two plates of cheesecake before them. "This looks absolutely scrumptious! Ah, excuse me, could you get me a little more-" His eyes suddenly went wide. "Look out!"

Another server was walking backwards, still addressing the people at the table he was leaving. Therefore he didn't notice that his platter was on a collision course with their own waiter. At Gideon's cry both men gasped and spun around. With quick hands Gideon grabbed his amulet, and the hand holding the platter shot up a few inches to provide clearance.

"Whoa!"

"Whoa!"

Both servers stared into each others' eyes, frozen. Then they slowly backed away, chuckling nervously.

"Good call, thank you!" Their waiter said before returning to the kitchen with the second.

"Whew!" Gideon wiped his forehead. "That was almost a disaster! Good thing I could offer a little help, hehe." He held up his amulet.

"Yeah," Mabel seized the chance. "You know, speaking of which, I've been curious. Where exactly _did_ you find that amulet?"

"Oh! Like I said, I found it in a cave in the woods-"

"Yeah yeah, but how did you find that cave?"

"Oh I just, you know," he raised his hand to his chin. "Well, one day I was going along, just minding my own business, and I decided to go wandering in the woods, to get some fresh air, y'know? And I was just meandering along, and I found this nifty little stone hollow! Real nice like inside, and I found it just sitting there inside. How about y'all, how'd you find yours?"

"Same way, we were exploring the woods and we came across it. Lucky us, huh?" She grinned, holding on to her extracted information.

"Yeah, lucky us." Gideon began to tuck into his cheesecake, trying to change the subject. "You know, I was thinking, after we get done here...would you like to take a walk around the woods?"

"Really?" Her heart sped up a little bit. "I think that'd just be lovely, Gideon!"

* * *

Mabel had been expecting some kind of big reveal with the journal, or at least some kind of pampering devotion. She had NOT been expecting to be beating through the underbrush.

"Ah!" A branch snagged onto her hair. She paused to yank herself free. "Where are we even going?"

"Five more trees down," Gideon forged ahead. "Then a left and fifty paces from there!"

"Ugggh." Mabel growled as she tried to follow him through a clump of bushes, even as they grabbed at her. "How is your suit staying so clean? And why didn't you have us change before we came out here?!"

Gideon ignored her question, instead counting off. "Three, four, here! Yes, yes I remember this! Keep going, this way!" With a roll of her eyes Mabel kept up with him. He kept muttering numbers under his breath until he suddenly shouted, "And FIFTY! So right here should be," he turned to the tree trunk to his right. "Just where I left it!"

She stared at the long smooth trunk. "Wow, it's...certainly a nice tree Gideon. Certainly worth the trip out here." _Remember the jewelry, remember the journal, remember the free dinner…_

"Why thank you, my dear. Except it's not _just_ a tree." He ran his fingers over the bark - the sound of skin on metal surprised Mabel's ears. "BEHOLD!"

With two hands Gideon pulled open a secret compartment in the tree trunk, revealing several bags of chips, some bottles of water, and a camera.

"These things are hidden all over Gravity Falls! I use 'em to store supplies for when I go out on my mystery hunts."

"Your what now?"

"Mabel, you know how I told you and Dipper that this town is filled with special and unique things? Let me tell you, I haven't even begun to scratch the surface! So much to see here, it's amazing! And well, I was hoping you could join me today for a little monster hunting? More of a stakeout, really, it'll be pretty relaxed. And I brought snacks!" He held up the chips.

Mabel rested her palm on her face. "A monster hunt? Dipper did these when he was nine," she suddenly got a flash of inspiration, "filling his head with all these conspiracies he read about in the library. Don't tell me you got those same books in your head too?"

"How can you say that after what you've already seen here? The gnomes, the amulets! And that's not even a quarter of the stuff _I've_ seen! Trust me, you will not be disappointed." Digging into the secret stash, he pulled out a thin black book and a pair of pens, as well as a bag of beef jerky. "Bring whatever you want!"

She did not accept any snacks. Instead she followed him towards the cliffs surrounding the town's valley.

"We need someplace we can easily watch from, but that's still concealed. Manotaurs are mostly harmless, but they can be-"

"Minotaurs?" Mabel paused. "There are minotaurs out here?"

"Oh, no no. It's MANotaur! They're a little more gruff than the ancient Greek ones. Like I said, they're mostly harmless, but they're so…" he grimaced, "...overbearing and rude."

"So why are we hunting them down?"

"I wanted to write a little bit about them." He held up the black book, which Mabel guessed was a notebook. "Yeah, there's not much about them in my sources."

"Huh. What kind of sources would even talk about manotaurs?"

"Just, uh...just one, really, that I draw a lot from. Here!" Again the subject change. "Let's see, just…"

Gideon tore the bag of jerky open and tossed it into a clearing, before sprinting to the other side of the glen as fast as his short legs could allow. Mabel jogged after him, and they both hid behind a pair of tree trunks. Gideon began to ready his camera.

"Alright, the smell of jerky should attract it. As soon as it comes in, we're going to get a few snapshots." He handed the camera off to Mabel before taking up his notebook. "Ready?"

"Uh, Gideon?" She looked up. "What if they come to the clearing from our direction?"

"Hm? Aw, there's little chance of that happening."

"But what if they do?"

"Oh, I dunno, we'll just try to make things go from there. Why do you ask?"

Mabel directed his attention to the very large manotaur standing right behind them.

* * *

By the time Mabel got home, it was dark out. Stan was sitting on the front porch, sipping a can of Pitt Cola, when she came up the steps.

"Hey kiddo, how was it?"

"Gideon and I saw a manotaur. It kept trying to make fun of us. In the end I just told him he had something taped to his back. When he got distracted trying to get it, we left."

"Huh, are minotaurs in with kids these days?"

"It was a manotaur."

Stan stared at her. Then he burst out laughing. "Oh, what you guys come up with! Well, I at least hope you enjoyed yourself, that's what's important. Also cementing that new contract we worked up with Bud Gleeful - cross-brand advertising, promotional tie-ins, the whole nine yards! But primarily, your enjoyment is what matters. Now head upstairs, try to get your brother's nose out of a book for once."

He took another sip as Mabel went inside and upstairs. Dipper, sure enough, was still reading the journal. The mouse was also still there - it sat in a jar on the nightstand, frantically looking through the glass.

"He has one," Mabel answered before he could ask. "I'm almost sure of it. He didn't want to talk about how he got the amulet, but he goes on these monster quests like you used to, and he mentioned his 'source' - except he didn't name it."

Dipper nodded. "Perfect. Now we just need to find a way to get it." Suddenly he looked right at her, and his eyes cheered. "By the way, welcome home, hope you managed to have a good time?"

"Well, I got this out of it," she showed off the necklace. "And now I know what a manotaur smells like, so...education?"

"...what?"

"I'll explain later. Now, what have _you_ been up to, especially with…?" She pointed at the mouse.

"Well, I realized we hadn't had a chance to do our testing since we got here. I found a few of spells in the journal that are unlabeled, I want to find out what they do. But of course I know that this is _our_ thing."

"Man, too much science for one day." But Mabel sat down on her bed, kicking her legs. "Want me to write it down for you?"

"Would you? Thanks." Dipper handed her the journal, then unscrewed the jar holding the mouse. He willed the rodent into the air, and again it began squeaking in alarm. Mabel and Dipper both stared in mild amusement.

After only four spells, their subject was spent.


	9. Spiritus Malos

"And if you step this way folks," Dipper recited for the tenth time that day, "we have the only specimen of the mind-boggling Thundermoth, the giant moth of legend."

A chorus of ooh's and camera snaps answered him. He discreetly rolled his eyes; it baffled him how these morons bought into his stories so readily. With a cough he gestured for the tour group to continue forward and out of the museum, pausing to free his black cape as it snagged on a loose nail coming out of the wall.

"And now, our final exhibit: the Mystical Gift Shop of Wonders, with prices you won't find anywhere else, and it's fully interactive, enjoy." He ran through it mechanically, and to his disgust they ate it up, just like all the people before them. With wide eyes they began perusing the overpriced merchandise, practically begging to be ripped off.

"Having fun bro?" Mabel grinned from the register, leaning on the counter with her elbow.

He rolled his eyes again. "So help me, I'm going to go mad if I have to spout out that garbage again. 'The Two-Headed Wolf-Chick Fairy'? 'The Beavercorn'? How can people be stupid enough to buy into this?"

"Hey, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Like this one!" She held up a small figurine depicting the Horse Riding Another Horse picture in the museum. Almost immediately a tourist appeared beside Dipper.

"Oh my gosh, how much for that?!"

Mabel checked the price tag. "Thirty dollars."

"I'll take it!" He thrust a fistful of cash at her and walked away with the trinket. Mabel held up the money as proof.

"See? The dumber they are, the more we can get from them." With a wink she plucked a five-dollar bill from the stack, handed it to Dipper, then took five more dollars for herself before opening the register.

"Hold on, Great-Uncle Stan's going to see if we take anything."

"Oh, I don't know about that." She shoved the drawer shut. "After all, the figure was only marked for twenty…"

Dipper broke into a wide grin as he pocketed the money. Leaning on the counter, he surveyed the rest of the people wandering through the shop. "Any more tours waiting?"

"Nope!"

"Thank God," he grumbled. "I just hope Stan gets back here before anyone else shows up, and Soos. And…Wendy?" At the thought he looked around. "She hasn't come in yet."

"She's just late again." Mabel began flipping through a fashion magazine. "She always is."

Dipper checked the clock. "Never this late…"

At that moment the door to the shop swung open. With a lurch Dipper recognized Pacifica's voice. "Here we go, Mr. Pines! Do you want me to take one of those for you?"

"I got 'em just fine!"

He backed through the doorway carrying several large boxes. Soos came in afterwards, also balancing boxes in his arms. Following them were Pacifica, Grenda, and Candy, watching with concern as the two men staggered to the counter.

"Ahh...ahhh...pah!" Stan slammed them onto the counter, then cracked his back. "Welp, gotta break out the home chiropracty set again." Soos similarly dropped his load on the counter, making the twins jump at the noise. He proceeded to nearly collapse over the boxes as he gasped for breath.

"Muh...Muh...Mister Pines…" He sighed. "What's even in these?"

"Uhm..." He turned around to look at the tourists, who stared in curiosity. "They're nothing less than the newest attractions, shipped in from all over the globe! Stop by in a few days and see our wondrous collection grow ever more mysterious!"

A chorus of cheers and claps answered him. With that, Stan turned around to face the twins. His grin vanished.

"You kids know how bingo works?" He asked in a low voice.

They both nodded.

"We're rigging these bingo cards before game night at the lodge. I'll show them who's a 'worn out old man'..."

Stan kept muttering about his plans for showing up his lodge mates, leaving Dipper free to slip away to do an "inventory check". In practice, it was a way to be left alone-

"Hey Dipper!"

-except when _certain people_ insisted on hovering nearby.

"Oh hey, Pacifica." He made a point of taking too long to count the Mystery Boxes. Don't look at her. He decided to recount them. Don't look at her. Write out the number, move on...and she kept following him. Finally he gave up and turned to her. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, just hangin' around. Seeing what's up with you, Mr. Dark and Mysterious with your costume and everything, you look nice." With a chuckle she leaned against the shelf.

"Seems like you hang around a lot. This is the third time I've seen you in here this week. And weren't you at the stage show last night?"

"Yeah! You know, you were great with those floating candles. I don't know how you do it! The way they just lit themselves, and then the flame twisted around and - it was almost like real magic!"

"Heh, yeah, almost." Dipper had to bite his lip to hide the smirk wanting to burst onto his face.

"You know, if you're into magic tricks, maybe I could show you a few of my own!"

He raised his eyebrows. " _You_ can do magic?"

"Ah, pfft, yeah I can!" She reached into her sweater pocket - Dipper just noticed her sweater now, covered with green pine trees and silvery glitter - and pulled out a pack of cards in a clear plastic case. Their backs each bore an entire mural of an medieval castle, handpainted from the looks of it. And to top it off, the numbers and suits on their faces were gilt with gold and silver.

"Wow, that's some fancy deck there…"

"Only the best for this trick! Okay, ready?" She fanned them out in her hands. "Pick a card, any card!"

Dipper closed his eyes. Of course this is what she meant by "magic". Taking a deep breath and praying for patience, he reached out and selected the two of hearts.

"Remember your card? Good! Now, put it back in here…"

She took the card from his fingers and began to shuffle the pile, cutting it and restacking it and meshing the cards together. With a flourish she tried to flip through them, and accidentally spilled half the deck. After hastily gathering them up again with an apology, she pulled out a card.

"Is THIS your card?!"

Dipper glared with half-lidded eyes at the four of hearts. "No, it's not."

"Of course it isn't, heheh, just joshing you. After all, THIS, is your card!"

Four of clubs. "Wrong again."

"Uh, uh…" Pacifica shuffled through the deck, her cheeks reddening. "Well, not to worry, because three is the charmed number. BAM!"

"Not the five of spades either."

"Uhhh...give me a sec." She began looking through the cards frantically. Dipper shook his head and turned the corner of the aisle. As he headed back up to the counter, though, his eyes lit up.

"Wendy!" He strode over to her. "Wendy, hi! Where have you-" He stopped when he saw her expression. "Wendy?"

The normally laid-back girl had dramatic shadows under her eyes, and she hardly blinked. "Hey, Dipper…"

"What happened?" Dipper asked. The other three girls had turned to them in curiosity.

"It's...uh, nothing. Nothing's wrong. Why, do I look off?"

"Oh, no! No, you look great, like always, but I - you -"

"What do you mean she 'looks great'?!" It was the first time he had heard Grenda's voice, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. "She looks like a zombie!"

"Thanks for the honesty." Wendy yawned. "Look, I...just didn't get enough sleep last night. That's all."

There was a brief silence, broken by Mabel. "Well hey! Girls, weren't we talking about giving that Six-pack O' Lope a makeover?"

Candy's soft voice answered, "But I didn't even bring my lipstick! Besides, this is more impor-"

"Makeover, now!" Mabel grabbed the back of their shirts and dragged them away, tugging extra hard on Grenda's. "Pacifica, come on!" Pacifica hurriedly stashed her cards away and followed Mabel. Dipper watched his sister pause just before she turned the corner, and she flashed him a wink before disappearing.

He felt his insides turn to stone. What was she expecting him to do?! He looked up at Wendy, who was still watching Mabel drag her friends away.

"Wow." She slowly nodded. "Mabel isn't one for subtlety, is she?"

"Yeah, she can be a bit extreme sometimes." Dipper was confused. Mabel was usually much slyer with her manipulation…

"Hey, she's a girl who knows and gets what she wants. I can respect that."

"Heh, yeah…" He rubbed the back of his head. "So, uh, what's going on with you?"

Wendy glanced around, setting her elbows on the desk, then placing her head in her hands. "Okay, I realize I'm probably going to sound crazy, but you have to _promise_ not to laugh, alright?"

He nodded.

She wet her lips, looked around again, then leaned a little closer. "Last night me and my friends went to that old Dusk 2 Dawn, the condemned corner store? Just going in, having a good time, right? Except this...there were these," she squeezed her eyes shut, "these two old ghosts, and they possessed Robbie and trapped Tambry in her phone, and Thompson's stuck in a video game now, and it's all…"

Wendy shrugged weakly. "I managed to hide out in a soda machine until morning. When I came out, they had vanished." She rested her head back in her hands, her expression slowly hardening. "So help me, I'm gonna take my axe to everything in that store!"

"Yeah, an axe's not gonna really help you."

"What?"

"Well, ghosts aren't corporeal, so you can't hurt them like that. Plus if you smash their store, that's not going to help their motivation."

"Look, they just took my friends! I don't care what they think about me, I need to get my friends back!"

"No no, their motivation. Why did they go after your friends in the first place? If you can figure that out, that's one way to stop them."

"I don't know, we were just having fun and-" Wendy suddenly turned to stare at him. "Wait, you're taking this seriously? You don't think I'm crazy?"

"I've done a little reading about ghosts, yeah." His mind flickered to the journal hidden under his pillow. "You gotta what find out what they want and then work with them from there. Either that or just exorcise them."

Wendy looked him over. "Hey, you don't think you'd mind filling me in on that exorcism stuff, do you?"

Before he could reply, Mabel bounded back into the room. "Hey! Dipper, I need your help matching some lipstick colors. Be right back!"

"Gyah!" He found himself yanked around the corner. Mabel glanced over at Wendy, and dropped her voice to a whisper.

"Bro! This is your chance! Volunteer to do the exorcism for her! You'll be a hero to her, plus they'll owe you big time for saving them."

"What? No, are you - actually, hold on." It all began to fall together in his head. "Yeah...yeah that could work! Maybe later tonight -"

"No, now. I'll cover for you here, just go. You know what you want, Dipper. Go get it!"

* * *

"You got it Dipper?"

"Yeah yeah, just gotta…" He struggled to find a foothold on the other side of the chain link fence. Finally he found a hole a little wider than the others, and he began to descend - only for his cape to snag on a bit of wire again. "Ack!"

"Hold on, I'll help you down!"

"No no, I got it." With a growl he freed his cape and continued to climb down. Finally his feet touched the pavement.

"Why did you even wear that here?" Wendy looked over his outfit. "And for that matter, why do you and your sister dress like that every day?"

"Oh, Stan thinks it's a good way to make the Shack seem more mystifying. Not to mention it just feels...kinda nice. I feel like people take me more seriously when I'm dressed up. Or at least they pay more attention in any case."

"Alright, fair enough." They both turned to face the store. "Here, you stay behind me." She pulled out her axe, which she had insisted on bringing as a last resort, and wielded it before her. Together they crossed the parking lot.

Dipper held the journal under his arm. He gave it a pat with his free hand, feeling the tension bubbling inside him. Sure he had read the section on ghosts several times already, but the fact he'd now be actually facing them made his pulse quicken.

Wendy shoved the glass door, and it swung open. "What the…?" She stepped inside and looked around. "When I left, everything was a mess! Shelves everywhere, machines spilled right and left. It's all in order now."

"The ghosts like to keep their space clean," Dipper noted. "They probably got upset in the first place when you trashed their shop."

"Ooh..." Wendy gave an awkward grimace. "Yeah, maybe that wasn't the best way to spend an evening."

 _YOU THINK?!_

The voice boomed through the store, making them both jump. The doors slammed behind them.

"Uhh, Dipper? Time to bring out that book!"

Just as he threw the cover open, the sound of static caught his attention. On a TV monitor across the store he could see five teenagers huddled together in black and white.

"Guys, guys!" Wendy held up her axe. "Don't worry, we'll break you out!" She charged at the machine, ready to split it open.

 _I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU, YOUNG TRESPASSER!_

"C'mon, c'mon, here!" Dipper scanned the pages. "Let's see, uh...if it's haunting a specific place out of vengeance, it's a level four ghost. But if it's imprisoning living beings within inanimate objects, that's a level _five…_ "

"Hey!" Dipper looked up, and saw Wendy floating in the air, seized by a blue glow.

 _WE WARNED YOU NOT TO RETURN. NOW YOU SHALL JOIN YOUR FRIENDS ONCE AND FOR ALL!_

"Dipper, do the exorcism thing, hurry!"

"Okay, okay! 'Step one: Uncover the ghostly presence.'" He cleared his throat, then spoke with his most impressive staged voice: " _Sanctus Revelus!"_

As he watched, an old man and woman dissolved into being, each one holding one of Wendy's arms and legs.

"Oh Pa, I didn't even see him at first!" They let go of Wendy, who fell to the ground, as they floated over to Dipper. "Why, he's just a little one, isn't he?"

"Alright, listen up you!" Dipper tried to puff out his chest. "Let Wendy's friends go, now!"

"Oh, look at him! In his dapper little suit and everything!" Pa chuckled to himself. "At least he dresses better than those lousy teenagers."

With a scowl, Dipper looked back at the journal as the two of them began harping on about teenagers. "'Step Two: Pacify ghosts.' Well, they're not attacking me. 'Step Three: Attempt peaceful brokerage'...'Step Four: Recite the proper incantations.'"

"-just awful," Ma said. "The way they wore their hats and had their pants so low. Oh look!" She pointed at Dipper, who held the book up. "I think he's going to share something with us."

He gave them a final glare, and they began to comment on his poor attitude as he held one hand up in the air and began to read:

"Exodus demonus, spookus scarus, aintafraidus noghostus!"

"What on earth?" The ghosts drew closer.

"Animus captius, _spiritum furtus, shyamalus twisticus!_ "

Dipper began to feel a rising power within him. A breeze began to circle around the store, whipping at his hair. His hand began to burn with blue-green fire, and in his core he felt a sudden tension grip his heart. At the same time the ghosts suddenly looked frightened, like they'd been frozen. Wendy began to back away.

" _Conjurus expelleres, polterGUS MORTIS, FANTASMIS DESTRUCTIS!"_

The wind grew stronger, whipping off Wendy's hat. The ghosts were clearly in pain, yelling out "Wait, stop! We'll give them back, just don't-" Sparks arced from his hand around the room. His very soul felt aflame as he screamed.

" _SPIRITUS DISSOLUS, SPIRITUS DISSOLUS, SPIRITUS DISSOLUS!"_

With a long echoing cry, Pa and Ma split apart and faded into nothingness. Dipper stood there catching his breath.

"D-dude," Wendy watched him, still holding her axe. "You feeling alright?"

Before he could answer, five teenagers spilled out of cabinets and fridges and game machines across the store.

"Oh, guys!" She immediately ran and helped her friends up. "Are you okay?!"

"Y-yeah," Robbie dusted himself off. "What even happened?"

"Kay, you're never gonna believe this, but Dipper just kicked those ghosts out of here! Oh here, let me help you outta there Thompson. It was so cool! There was fire, and wind, and lightning-"

"Whoa, thanks bro!" Thompson held up his hand for a high five. "We owe you one!"

Dipper looked at him. Then he tucked the journal under his arm and nodded.

"I know."

Without a second glance at any of them, he walked out the front doors.

"I'll see you later, Wendy."

* * *

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	10. Family Fun Day

"Hey Grenda!" Mabel leaned over the edge of the armchair as she spoke through the phone. "Listen, we should totally get together at the mall. I heard they're having a sale, and-"

"Oh, I'm sorry Mabel," her low gruff voice came through the speaker, "I got chores to do today! Mom won't let me do anything until they're done."

Mabel sat back up and sighed. "Alright. I was hoping to treat you, but I'll find someone else." She hung up and stared down her contact list. Therein lay her problem: she had already appealed to almost everyone else she had on her phone. She dialed one last number and waited for it to ring.

"Tiffany? Listen Tiffany, want to go with me to - Tiffany's mom?" Mabel listened to her explanation. "Well how long is the root canal going to take?" More blabber. "Okay, okay. Tell her I said I hope she gets better soon." She made sure to hang up before she let out a frustrated growl.

"Someone giving you trouble?" Dipper came in, holding a newspaper in front of him.

"Nah, it's more of a cosmic misalignment kind of thing. NO ONE wants to go out today!"

"Pacifica?"

"She's doing volunteer work, ugh. And I already called Candy, Gideon…"

"What about the Gorney kid, that Pacifica introduced us to?" He pulled a pen from his chest pocket and began to fill in the paper's crossword.

Mabel felt a shudder run down her back. "Dipper, I'm not _that_ desperate for company. Can you really imagine me being seen with him?" The very thought made her shiver again.

"Look, if you really want to go and you don't want to be alone, I'll go with you." He chewed on the pen's cap. "Eight-letter first name of black-and-white movie star?"

"No, you hate shopping." Dipper nodded in confirmation. "Besides, I need to meet more people! By the time school starts, we need to have a solid group together."

"Well then, what do you wanna do?"

"I don't know." Mabel rested her head on her arm. "Oh, movie star, wasn't there a guy, Grampton Rumpterfrabble?"

"It fits!" Dipper eagerly filled it in. Mabel watched with a bored expression.

"Well, what do you wanna do after your puzzle?"

"I dunno. I am kinda hungry, but I don't know if I-"

"Do I hear the sound of boredom?!"

Both of them looked up as Stan came into the room, holding a rolled-up magazine.

"Be bored no longer! We're having Family Fun Day today!"

"A what now?" Mabel eyed him.

"You know, Family Fun Day! Where we bond, and have a good time, and it has some strange science-y effect later in life? I dunno, some nerd was talking about in this magazine." He revealed the title: "Be A Good Parent and Buy This! Weekly".

The twins looked at each other as Stan buried himself in the volume.

"Okay, look, right here: Fun things to do as a family! Apparently my original plans weren't any good, since they're considered 'illegal' and 'inappropriate'. There has to be something in here that's a good idea. 'Read a book together' - yeesh, this really was put together by nerds. Okay, what else: 'Take a trip to the local fire station.' Not with my restraining order, we're not…"

"Actually," Mabel tried to speak up, "we were planning on going to the mall together?"

Stan ignored her. "'Collect rocks' - really? I can't believe I went through the trouble of shoplifting this piece of junk." He threw the magazine on the end table with a scowl and rested his hand on his chin, trying to think. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "I know! Get in the car, kids!"

* * *

A few minutes later, Mabel stared up at the rickety old sign that advertised the bowling alley.

"Here it is, kids!" Stan sighed proudly. "This is where dreams of greatness live and die."

As they stepped through the doorway, Mabel glanced at Dipper. The look in his eyes confirmed that he found this just as stupid as she did. Stan led them to the counter where the attendant eyed them carefully.

"Aisle for three, and shoes for all of us." The attendant kept watching them from his left eye as he gathered their footwear. Meanwhile, Dipper tugged on Stan's sleeve to get his attention.

"Great-Uncle Stan? Can I get something from the snack bar?"

"Hm? Huh?" Stan glanced at the menu and grimaced. "Yeesh, you could eat cheaper at the airport!"

Dipper scoffed and grabbed his pair of shoes. Mabel could see Stan watching him closely.

"Here, whaddaya want?"

Dipper looked up in surprise. "Uh...pizza? With cheese?"

"Cheese pizza for the boy," Stan nodded. "Mabel, want anything?"

"I'm fine." She took her shoes, found an open lane, and was about to kick her black slippers off when she recognized a voice behind her:

"Alright, come on now! Nick, you know we have to take turns…"

Mabel whirled around in her seat. "Pacifica!"

Sure enough, she spotted Pacifica herding a small group of eight-year-olds around - her rainbow jacket made her stick out like a sore thumb. "Oh, hey Mabel! Didn't think I'd be running into you here!"

"Neither did I, I thought you were out 'volunteering'." She crossed her arms and watched the little brats run around mindlessly.

"Oh, this is one of the things I do actually. It's a kind of mentor program, where the kids and I go out and do fun things together! And today, they wanted to go bowling, so here we are!" She shrugged and buried her hands in her coat pockets. "So anyways...is Dipper here?"

Mabel jabbed her thumb over her shoulder.

"Oh my gosh!" Her hands flew to her ears. "I forgot, what earrings did I put on today?"

"They're...tiny pink unicorns."

"Agh! I knew I should have worn the Shimmery Twinkleheart ones! The unicorns just look garish!"

"Pacifica, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Dipper will notice your earrings."

"Really?" She clasped her hands together. "You sure?"

Mabel looked over her boisterously colorful outfit. "I'm positive."

"Oh, I hope so." She took a look back at her group. "Oh no no, Smabble that's not how you use the keypad properly!"

Mabel turned and found Stan hopping around on one foot, trying to slip the footwear on. "Hey, kiddo, get your shoes on and pick a ball!"

A minute later she had selected a bright pink ball, and was watching Stan line up his first throw.

"See kids, it's all in the approach. You hold it up, like this. You imagine where you want it to go. Then you step, roll, and whammo!"

The ball didn't make it halfway down the lane before rolling into the gutter.

"Uh, okay, just warmin' up!"

He crossed his arms and tapped his foot until the ball was returned. Upon his second roll, the ball again fell into the gutter.

"What?! They must have changed the floor or somethin', or it's rigged now! It's impossible to win-"

A bright golden bowling ball sped by on their right, obliterating all of the pins with a perfect strike.

"See, that's how you do it!" Pacifica ruffled a kid's hair. "If you need my help again, just let me know, okay?" She caught sight of the Pines staring at her. "Oh hey guys! Just helping them out, giving a little example."

Mabel could feel her mouth still hanging open. "How did you learn to bowl like that?"

"Oh, when it comes down to it, practice and a bit of dumb luck, really. I guess really good luck - I've been Gravity Falls bowling champion the past two years!"

"Hm," Stan crossed his arms and grumbled, "I bet some shiny golden ball doesn't hurt either."

"Oh, you wanna try it out?" Pacifica picked it up. "If you want me to give you pointers, I'd be happy to! Here, I can even join you-"

"That won't be necessary," Mabel interrupted her. "You see, we already have a bowling champion: me."

"You?" Stan asked.

"You?" Dipper echoed.

"Me," Mabel confirmed. "And I'm calling you out Pacifica!"

"Calling me…" She laughed. "No no, I'm not looking for a challenge, honest! I'm just saying, if you'd like-"

"If you're so good, then you shouldn't be scared of a little challenge, should you?"

Pacifica stared at her with wide eyes. Then she grinned and raised her hands in defeat. "If you insist. I'll get the manager to officiate everything. But Mabel, are you sure you wanna do this?"

Mabel grabbed her pink ball, and with military-like precision turned to face the lane. She took two steps and rolled. The pins at the other end exploded and scattered; none were left standing. When she turned back to Pacifica, she was satisfied to see the insipid grin gone.

"Bring it on."

* * *

"Bettin' tickets! Place your bets, right here!"

Stan cackled as he grabbed bills and slips, keeping an eye on the girls' scores. As the match progressed, Mabel and Pacifica stayed neck-to-neck, and the crowd around their lane grew. For every strike Mabel earned, Dipper looked up from his pizza and cheered along with Stan and half the audience. For every strike of Pacifica's, her charges hollered her name in chorus with the other half of the audience. Even when they missed strikes, they rounded out their frames with spares. It was Mabel a few points ahead, then Pacifica, then back again, and yet again.

After an hour, it was the tenth frame. Pacifica had finished her turn, and it was Mabel's.

"I can't believe it," she heard Dipper whisper, "if she gets a strike here, she's gonna win!"

"Whoo! Knock 'er dead, sweetie! Make your Grunkle proud and rich!"

"Shh, Stan!"

"Ah, right, sorry."

Mabel closed her eyes. Took a deep breath. Opened her eyes. Looked at Pacifica, who was nervously scanning the scoreboard. A triumphant feeling rose inside her. Victory was in her reach. She stepped forward, threw her arm back-

"I-I don't understand, where are they at-"

How the man managed to wander through the crowd, Mabel didn't know. All she did know was that he was so focused on his watch that he didn't notice his path led directly into her.

"Bwah!" Her precise throw turned into a ridiculous contortion as the large man collided with her. The ball flew into the air, slammed hard against the wood floor, and dived straight into the gutter.

That alone would have been upsetting enough, if the trespasser had not also been carrying a cup of red punch, and had proceeded to spill that red punch all over Mabel and the floor. She slipped and slammed on her stomach, feeling the cold punch soak through her clothes.

"O-oh, oh no!" The man jumped up and darted away, melting into the crowd, leaving Mabel to pick herself up.

"No, no no!" She looked up at the scoreboard, and the horrifying zero that filled in the frame. "No, no!" Her hands were stained with red punch, and her blazer and undershirt were already hopelessly ruined.

And the laughter.

Everyone was pointing, mocking her. Cameras were out, had they filmed the whole thing? Mabel glanced around and saw enemies in every direction. Her spine shivered, and a treacherous hole had swallowed up her gut. Stan's shocked expression, Dipper already half out of his seat...

"Mabel?"

She turned to face Pacifica, who offered her a hand and a concerned look.

"Mabel, you okay?"

It was even worse than the ridicule.

Mabel sprung to her feet and ran to the restroom, barely able to see with her blurred vision. No, not that. The tears would only make things worse, stop it, fight it off, turn it off-

The moment she locked herself in the stall, she let the emotions overcome her.

It was all ruined. Because she got cocky, because she challenged Pacifica to the game and made a huge show out of it, the whole town would hear about this. She'd be a laughingstock. It'd be just like the old days again.

The bathroom door creaked open. If it was Pacifica…

"Go away!"

"Mabel?"

Her burning rage cooled at the sound of Dipper's voice. "Hey Dip…"

"Hey. Wanna talk?"

"What's there to talk about? You saw everything."

He stepped inside, approaching the stall she had sealed herself in. "Stan and Pacifica are worried about you."

She sniffed at the second name. "Pacifica...if she hadn't been showing off, none of this would have happened."

"Look, it was a setback. We have setbacks, even nowadays. But we'll get through it." He gently rapped on the door with his fingers. "Are you gonna let me in?"

Mabel managed to summon a chuckle. "This is the girls room. You're not even supposed to be in here at all, genius."

"Then why don't you come out, so we can talk? And don't worry, I won't let anyone make fun of you."

"Promise?"

"That's what we do for each other, isn't it?"

Mabel unlocked the door and looked into Dipper's face. He gave her a sad smile and offered her a hug. She gratefully accepted. "Twins forever?"

"Twins forever."

Their hug ended up being interrupted by the door being slammed open.

"Th-that was close! Come on, gotta fix this s-s-stupid thing!"

Mabel recognized the voice, and Dipper recognized his face. "YOU!" They shouted in unison.

"Huh? Ah!" They couldn't see his eyes, which were covered with goggles, but he was still clearly alarmed. "Uh, initiating camouflage!" He began fiddling with his watch, which displayed a variety of backgrounds: a shadowy junkyard, the Museum of History, some multi-colored hellscape. Finally it reverted to a drab gray. "Uh, initiating escape!"

Before he could run out the door, Dipper waved his hand and slammed it shut. "Not so fast! I think you owe my sister an apology!"

"Huh, what?"

"Don't you remember?!" Summoning the power from her headband, she clenched her fist, seizing his body and pulling him forward. "I'm the girl whose life you ruined just a few minutes ago!"

"I-I-I'm sorry, really! I didn't see you, I was tracking down a colony of time fugitives that were supposed to be hiding out here, piloting an illegal mechanical body, and - uh, I mean, nothing!"

"Time fugitives?" Mabel repeated to herself. "Stealth clothing…what's your deal, huh?!" She thrust her fist upwards, making him levitate in the air.

"Alright, alright! Blendin Blandin, of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew. I'm from the year twenty-sñeventy-twelve, and I'm sorry I ruined your bowling game! Now, uh, could you please put me down?"

She kept glaring up at him, dangling in the air, as an idea entered her mind. "If you're from the future...you must have a time machine."

"Yeah, that's right."

"Well, considering how you're the one who messed everything up in the first place, I'm sure you won't mind me borrowing it to put everything right?"

"WHAT?! If you even touched this thing," he held out a tool that looked like a tape measure, "I would be breaking at least seventeen laws! No way!"

Mabel could feel her arm getting tired, and her will drained. However, she managed to keep him aloft. "Hey Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that old doll that I broke the other day?"

"The one that wouldn't stop saying 'Mama'?"

"Right, the one that wouldn't do what I wanted it to do. The one I smashed against the wall in frustration." She jerked her fist up, and Blendin slammed into the ceiling with a yell. "Do you think Stan would object to me having a whole person as a replacement?"

"How dare you threaten a Time Officer!"

"I dunno, Blendin. If you think about it," Dipper shrugged, "you did interfere with the past by slamming into her. Are there any laws about _that_?"

"Oh...ohhhh my gosh, ohhh no, Time Baby's going to be furious with me!"

"Look, it's simple. Send us back in time to before the match, that way Mabel can win her competition and I can get some good food."

"What?" Mabel turned to look at him. "But you had pizza!"

"Eh, it wasn't really that good. Gonna try something else. But anyways, if you do that, then we pretend this whole thing never happened. Deal?"

"Uh, uhhh…"

"Or you can come home with me! I'm sure Stan would be thrilled to get me a toy he didn't have to pay for."

"Fine, I'll do it! Just set me down!"

Mabel unclenched her fist, and Blendin fell to the ground with a thud.

"Ow! You could have been gentle!"

"I could have. Now, one hour ago, let's get going!"

"Hold on…" He pulled out a few inches of tape. "No really, hold on to my arms."

The tape slid back into the machine, and there was a flash of light. When Mabel blinked the stars out of her eyes, she found herself with Blendin and Dipper still in the bathroom, the former desperately trying to pat out a lick of flame on his elbow.

"What? Did it work?" Dipper checked his watch. "Oh my gosh, Mabel, look!"

The hands had spun back accordingly.

"Yes, this is perfect! Come on!" She grabbed his hand and yanked him out the door, spotting Stan at the counter.

"They were just here, I swear, they - kids, come outta there!" He gestured for them. "We can't sneak in without paying! Trust me, I've tried, doesn't end well." He coughed. "So anyways, an aisle for three, and shoe rentals for all of us."

Right on cue, Dipper got his attention. "Hey Great-Uncle Stan?" He scanned the menu. "Can I have a burger?"

* * *

"Bettin' tickets! Place your bets, right here!"

Round two was working in Mabel's favor. This time her lead was far more comfortable, especially when she realized she could use her amulet to steer both her ball and Pacifica's.

"What?!" Pacifica stared, mouth agape, as she got a fifth gutter ball in a row.

"See, that's what I'm sayin'!" Stan laughed. "But it is funny when it's someone else getting frustrated."

Mabel approached the lane, making sure her attire was in line (and unstained, thank goodness). She glanced at Dipper, who winked at her over his burger.

She guided the ball to a perfect strike yet again - the tenth in a row.

The gathered group went nuts. "A perfect game!" "First time ever in Gravity Falls!" "Wonderful game, how did you do it!" A golden trophy was thrust into her hands, and dozens of hands clapped her shoulders. Amidst the cheers and congratulations, she saw Pacifica quietly give her a thumbs up before leading her mentor group away.

"Mabel, that was amazing!" Stan laughed as he collected handfuls of payouts. "Look at all this cash - we gotta do Family Fun Day more often!"

The flurry of voices eventually died away, and the three of them pulled their shoes off. After dropping them off at the counter - the attendant still only revealing his left eye - they went out the door. Mabel was careful with her new trophy as she got into the back of Stan's car.

"Alright kids! Who had fun?"

"Me!" Mabel raised her hand.

"Me!" Dipper chimed in.

"And me!" Stan laughed. "Sounds like Family Fun Day was a success!" He began to edge into the street. "Y'know Mabel, you really did make me proud today. I've never seen bowling quite like that before. Somethin' remarkable, that's what it was."

"Heh, yeah."

She looked at the golden statuette in her lap, then the back of his red fez. A curious feeling rose up inside of her. An emotion she usually only reserved for Dipper...

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan."


	11. Love and War

Dipper leaned against the door, staring at the book in his hand. His mind didn't pay any heed to the words on the page. Instead, he focused on the conversation happening in his and Mabel's room.

He heard Candy's voice: "Look what I brought!"

"OH MY GOSH!" Grenda's voice gave him a jolt, like it usually did when she yelled, and he heard the sound of a magazine being opened. "Ooh, hubbity hubbity! Deep Chris, mmmm…"

Dipper rolled his eyes. As much fun as it was to see Mabel work her charm, he hated having to sit through inane things like "boy talk" to get to the good parts. In his opinion, those things only got in the way - especially when Mabel seemed to actually enjoy such topics too.

"I like Greggy C." It was her voice. "But Chubby Z's high on my list too…"

 _Just get to the point Mabel!_ He screamed in his head. _Get to the delivery!_

"Oh, oh, guys," Mabel ran across the floor. "Look what I got!" She opened the closet door.

Dipper recoiled as he was assaulted by a chorus of shrieks and the rustling of bags. Apparently Mabel had just revealed her snack stash, which meant they'd be going at that for a while. And then:

"You got board games?!" Grenda shouted. "This is gonna be the best sleepover ever!"

"Oooh, Conflict Boat." Dipper was surprised he could make out Candy's words through Grenda's ruckus. "Didn't they just make a movie about that?"

"Speaking of game movies, check it out! 'What Could Go Wrong?: The Game'! I love that one!" Grenda picked up the box; Dipper could hear the pieces rolling around inside. "Which one do we play first?"

As Mabel began to figure out a settlement with them, Dipper groaned and snapped his book shut. This wasn't worth waiting around for. He went downstairs and into the gift shop, hoping to find someone to talk to. His effort was rewarded.

"Hey Dipper." Wendy gave him a short wave.

"Oh, hey!" He cleared his throat, which suddenly felt tight under his shirt collar. "How are things going?"

"Slow. I'd take a load off, but Stan found my lawnchair on the roof. Gotta lay low for a bit." She kept staring at him, scrutinizing him. It began to grow uncomfortable, and Dipper dropped his eyes and glanced away. "Sorry, just got a lot on my mind."

"Oh, yeah, I understand." He gave a weak laugh. _No, no! Act smoother, say something-_

"So hey, I wanted to talk to you about that whole deal with the ghosts a few days ago?"

"Oh! Yeah, those guys." Dipper seized on the opportunity to expand on his triumph, and he could feel confidence relaxing his body. "Not a big deal, really. I mean, sure they weren't the _easiest_ ghosts to go after, and sure I saved your friends, but-"

"You learned it from that book, right?"

"Yeah, the journal I brought with us."

She was quiet for a second. "What else is in that book?"

"Oh, just a bunch of stuff. Magic crystals, zombies, something about a shapeshifter. All kinds of spells. You know, if you need anything else," he pulled himself onto a stool and sat at the counter beside her, "I bet I can help you."

She nodded, looking away again. "Dipper, have you told Stan about this?"

His stomach flipped. "Stan? Uh, no, I haven't, I mean he doesn't even believe in that kind of stuff, he'd just laugh at me."

"Okay, dude, I'm not a big rules person, and I hate saying 'Go to an adult', but there's some serious stuff going on here. I appreciate you helping me get my friends back, that was sweet and very brave of you. But when I was watching you, I…" she shrugged, "I just want to make sure you don't end up hurting yourself. Or somebody else, okay?"

Dipper didn't know what to say. "I, uh…"

"Alright, Stan probably wasn't the best suggestion. Like you said, he's an old man who's too busy counting his money and playing Dr. Frankenstein with taxidermies. And Soos is…"

"It's finally done!" Right on cue, Soos came barging into the gift shop, holding a cardboard axe above his head. "My Hammer of Smashing is ready for FCLORP later today!" He looked at Dipper and Wendy. "I dunno though, whaddaya guys think? More duct tape? Or maybe a longer blade…"

"It looks great, Soos." Wendy gave him a thumbs up. As he left, she turned to Dipper. "Yeah, Soos is just Soos. So how about this:" She extended her hand. "You gotta promise me to be careful with that journal. And if it starts giving you trouble, I want you to talk to someone, alright? You're always welcome to chat me up."

"Thanks, Wendy." He nodded. "And I guess I also have Mabel…"

"Perfect! Can't think of anyone better to keep you out of trouble. So, if you have start having problems with this magic stuff, you talk to one of us. Can you promise me?"

Dipper shook her hand. "Promise."

"Thanks man." She finished the handshake with a fist bump. "So, how are Mabel and her friends doin'?"

"Just playing some board games, talking about magazine celebrities."

"Ah, I remember when I was twelve. So much less to worry about. Hangin' out with friends - oh, that reminds me!" She pulled a folded paper from her pocket and opened it, trying to flatten the creases. "We're having a Summerween party next weekend, you and Mabel should stop by!"

Dipper looked at the flyer she handed him. "Wow, thanks!"

"No problem! Although, I need to make some copies to hand out. I was gonna do it at work today, but with Stan gettin' on my case, do you think you could take care of it for me? I think there's a machine in the back."

"Uh, yeah! Sure! No problem!"

With a quick nod he went off, passing through the doors until he reached Stan's office. Stan wasn't inside, so the moment he closed the door, he locked it. Then he growled in disgust at himself.

"Stupid, stupid!" He knocked his fist against his forehead. "'Uh yeah, sure no problem!' I sound like I'm eight or something!" With another furious growl he kicked the wall, only succeeding in stubbing his toe. "Ow!"

He hated this feeling; Mabel needed him, Mabel _depended_ on him to be clear and level-headed. His ability to cut through any situation and see the strings that needed to be pulled, that was his strength. But when he saw Wendy, it all became muddled. Her confidence, her red hair, they wouldn't leave his mind. He felt a flutter deep inside; it terrified him.

"Stop it." He hugged himself and squeezed. "Stop it, she's out of your league."

 _Focus on why you're here, Dipper. Focus on what's important. That smile, the laugh..._

"Stop it..." He moved his hands to his forehead, rubbing his temples. "It's not going to work. Why would she even like me back?"

 _But if she does?_

Dipper shook his head, trying to stop the vicious cycle. He had to focus. "No matter how she feels," he explained to himself, "I can't let it get in my way. Mabel needs me."

With that, the stupid romantic part of his mind shut up. Dipper took another breath to steady himself, then approached the copy machine - a very old and tattered copy machine, held together only with tape and rope.

"Does this thing even work?" He began press the buttons, resting one hand on the glass. Suddenly it sparked to life. The carriage moved across the bed, scanning with a harsh green light. When the paper printed out, Dipper had an achromatic image of his hand. "Huh, perfect!"

As he said the words, though, the paper suddenly shuddered in his grasp. In shock he dropped it - the hand flashed, then peeled itself out of the page.

Dipper shrieked and stumbled back. The hand began inching itself towards him, fingers dragging the palm across the ground.

"Ah! No, no!" He grabbed at his amulet and motioned to the stuff on the shelf behind him. Three large books, a tray of paper, and a stuffed owl hurled themselves at the hand, all missing. Dipper scooted up against the wall. His assailant kept pressing forward. With a yell he swiped at the desk next; this time a telephone, desk light, and a mug toppled over the edge. The cup shattered, spilling coffee all over the hand. It found itself consumed in the puddle, and it bubbled and dissolved.

Dipper tried to get his breathing under control as he stood up. He looked from the coffee to the photocopier.

"So…" He clapped his hands together and shook his head. "Even more weirdness. Yay…"

* * *

After getting the flyers copied (thankfully without anything else coming to life), he returned to Wendy. After she thanked him, he excused himself to go upstairs. He wanted to tell Mabel about the machine; surely she could spare some of her time to discuss important matters, instead of which Hollywood stars were dating each other. Before he could rap his knuckles on the door though, he heard a gasp inside.

"No!" Candy was clearly horrified. "She really said that to you?"

"Mhm," Mabel now, "even Dipper heard. You can ask him if you want."

Dipper felt a jolt inside. Mabel was finally getting to business, and he was just in time to hear it.

"Are you sure you guys heard right?" Grenda sounded shocked. "Pacifica's not one to brag."

"Yeah, she kept going on about how she was the best." She kept her voice low and soft. "I mean, it kinda helps that I won in the end. But I didn't think she was like that."

"We never knew either." Candy went quiet. "But Mabel, are you _sure_?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" She raised her voice to an emotional wail. "Maybe she didn't think the kids with her would notice?"

"I just don't understand why though. Pacifica's one of the nicest people we know."

Mabel let a silence endure. "M-maybe because I'm the new girl?"

"What? But she was so happy to introduce us! And she seems to really like Dipper-"

"I know she likes Dipper, but I just feel like she doesn't like _me_. I dunno, maybe I'm just being stupid."

"Hey!" Dipper braced himself against Grenda's sharp outburst. "You are NOT stupid! Never say that about yourself!"

"Grenda's right. I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. If you want we can talk to Pacifica-"

"No!" A measured fear in Mabel's voice. "If you do that, she'll just get mad! Plus, you should have seen her after the match - she was furious. She'd just say I started it or something…"

"Oh Mabel, it's alright. Look, Grenda and I are here for you, okay? We'll figure this out, I promise."

"Really? Oh, thank you guys."

"What are friends for?" Grenda's voice carried over their soft laughter. Dipper felt satisfied with what he had overheard, and left their door. He made a mental note to back up Mabel's story. They just had to keep sowing the seeds, and by summer's end Pacifica would be cut out of the picture. Good riddance, he added.

Dipper took to wandering around the shack, and found himself going out the front door towards the woods. His ideal place, really - no people.

The sunlight slanted between the massive conifers, and a watchful serenity surrounded him. He inhaled deeply, picking up the sweet bite of pine. Toadstools sprinkled the ground and sometimes the trees, and logs and stones sprouted in every direction. A couple of distant finches scored the scene.

Dipper closed his eyes. He wanted to practice…

With a wave of his hand, he could feel the amulet's power rising within him, more easily than ever. He opened his eyes and snapped his fingers. Several rocks the size of watermelons floated into the air and began to spiral around him. He grinned and crossed his arms; he remembered when he had struggled to levitate more than four pebbles.

With a twirl of his fingers, he made them dance like a waltz. Then focusing on one, he tried to envision a sculpture inside. Dipper flicked his wrist. Fire consumed the stone; as the flames died, he was left with a rough caricature of himself.

"Hm," he ran his fingers over the surface. "Little rough, but at least I can tell what it is. Kind of."

His introspection was interrupted by the sound of someone crashing through the underbrush. The stones fell to the ground with a series of thuds, and Dipper instinctively hid behind a tree.

"...here somewhere, I know it."

It was Gideon, carrying a tiny shovel and looking at a map in his hand.

"Let's see, haven't checked spot three yet, I'll head over there next. I dunno if I can make it to five this early, but if I-"

"Can I help you?"

"Dipper!" Gideon yelped and spun around, dropping his shovel and map. He quickly went to pick up the paper. "I, uh, didn't expect to see you out here!"

"I live on the other side of those trees. _You_ live on the far side of the road. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Just, uh, looking for treasure?" He gave a weak smile. Dipper was about to tear into his obvious lie when something caught his attention.

"Where's your amulet?"

"Oh, that thing." Gideon felt at his neck, where the gem had been replaced with a white tie. "I decided to only wear that thing for shows. It's been, well...I felt I needed a break from it. For the sake of my health."

Dipper crossed his arms and glared down at him. Gideon didn't seem to want to give any more information, so he moved on. "What kind of treasure are looking for?"

"Well, I'm not sure yet, heheh. I guess I'll find out when I discover it!"

"But you have a map," he pointed out. "You have to know _something_ about it."

"I - I…"

Gideon was pinned, looking for a way out. Dipper was finally going to get what he was looking for...until Gideon closed his eyes, bowed his head, let the hesitation leave his voice.

"I think you know something about it too, Dipper."

He took another paper from his pocket and handed it over. It was a clipping from the Gravity Falls Gossiper, detailing the brave efforts of a certain twelve-year-old who saved a bunch of teenagers from two ghosts.

"Toby writes a lot of weird things," Gideon explained. "But it's rare for people to actually back up what he says."

"Alright, so I kicked out a couple of ghosts. So what? You've said it before, this town is weird."

"Yes, it is. But it's not weird enough that exorcism rites are being handed out to middle schoolers. Dipper, have you...found anything, that helped you?"

"What can I say?" He shrugged, even though he felt worry begin to fuzz the edges of his mind. "Just instinct, I guess."

"Dipper, please! Listen to me, have you found any strange books on this property?"

His mind flitted to the journal. "Well, there's the 'Accept It or Not!' books that Grunkle Stan sells."

"No no, something else! If you're hiding a journal, you need to tell me!"

"Alright, alright, I'll keep an eye out for...a journal. Don't have one right now, though." He hoped his acting skills were doing alright.

"I've had sources tell me that there is a powerful journal buried here on the Mystery Shack property," Gideon began pacing. "And with this news story, I thought you'd found another one. I need to get them all!"

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Look, if we collect them all, they will help us unlock the secrets of Gravity Falls! Who knows what we could find? Imagine: it could be an infinite power source! Or the next super medicine, or a priceless treasure that predates mankind - the possibilities are endless!"

"Alright, but...what do you mean by get them all? How many are there?"

"I'm not sure. At least two, maybe up to five?"

"And how many do you have right now?"

"Uh, none so far. Just speculation based on my sources." The awkward smile again.

Dipper nodded. "I'll keep an eye out for it. Now go on." He motioned Gideon away, and began to walk back to the Mystery Shack.

"Darn it Dipper! You have to have a journal!" Gideon ran around and stood in front of him again. "You don't understand, my whole life I've spent digging up the craziest things. Now we're on the edge of the greatest mystery of all, and you're telling me 'no'?"

"No, I'm not, because I _don't_ have a journal." He pushed past Gideon again, but the kid still followed him.

"Dipper Pines, look at me!"

 _HOW DARE HE_

An inferno erupted within Dipper's chest. He grabbed his amulet. _HE DARES TO TALK THAT WAY KILL HIM_ Thrust his hand into the air. _KILL HIM BURN HIM_ Whirled around. Gideon floated ten feet above the ground. _TEAR HIM APART_

Dipper found his teeth gritted, his breathing heavy, his eyes blinded with a dozen grisly fantasies. As they faded, though, he could see Gideon's face, a mask of terror. He felt his jaw relaxing, his chest rising and falling more slowly. With a slight tremor he unclenched his fingers, letting Gideon fall to the ground. Lastly he peeled his hand from his amulet.

"D-Dipper," Gideon gasped, "what was that…" he took a heaving breath, "...for? I-I'm sorry…"

"You're lucky you're Mabel's boyfriend." Dipper advanced on him, and Gideon scooted away across the forest floor. "I won't tell her about this, and I know you won't," Gideon shook his head to agree, "but it get through your skull: I don't have a journal. And the next time you think I'm lying to you, remember this: I've found that it's the people who ARE lying who are the quickest to point fingers."

Gideon's face was still pale - paler than usual, which Dipper didn't think was possible. When the kid didn't offer anything else to say, he managed to force a smirk and began walking home.

"Have fun with _your_ journal, Gideon."

The whole way back, he nervously rubbed his shaking hands, trying to quell them.


	12. Jimmy Snakes

Mabel was outside, just wrestling another frog into her jar, when the biker pulled up in the parking lot. His motorcycle was colored dull iron, just like the spikes on his leather jacket. All she could see of his face were his red bandanna and messy brown mullet.

"Hey there!" She ran over to him and put on her best adorable voice. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, home of the Mystery Twins Mystery-"

"Can it, bluebell." He turned to address her, revealing a handlebar mustache and eyes so tightly squinted she couldn't see them."Stanford Pines here?" He jabbed his thumb at the building.

"Why yes, of course! He's our great-uncle, he'd be happy to-"

"Heh, figured. The vermin's got family."

Mabel didn't reply, but her grip tightened on the jar. She watched as he got off his motorcycle, the spurs on his boots jangling. Without another glance at her he sauntered into the gift shop. He took one look around.

"Anyone who's not Stanford Pines, CLEAR OUT!"

He punched the wall to make his point clear. The visitors fled en masse from the scene. Only Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy remained, the latter two standing shocked behind the counter.

"What's your problem, man?!" Wendy pointed angrily as the biker approached her. "You do realize you could have made a phone call, sent a text or email...things that normal people do?"

"I seek to deliver JUSTICE!" Suddenly he exploded. His head was replaced with a burning skull, and the bones of his hands lept with hellfire. Mabel fell back in alarm while Dipper and Wendy grabbed each other. All three yelled in fear as the hot oranges and yellows threatened to consume the entire space. "BRING ME STANFORD PINES OR FACE YOUR OWN D-"

"Alright, alright, sheesh."

Stan's voice cut through the turmoil, and he stepped into the room with Soos right behind him. His half-lidded eyes grew wide as he looked at his great-nephew and employee gripping each other in terror, his great-niece sprawled on the floor, and a fiery skeleton paused in outrage.

"Let me guess: dissatisfied customer?"

"Stan! I have come to fulfill my crusade against you. Tremble before your arbiter: JIMMY SNAKES!"

Stan nodded slowly. "Uh-huh."

The man paused, clearly expecting more reaction. "JIMMY SNAKES!"

"I heard you the first time. Mind turning off the pyrotechnics?"

The air cooled immediately as the flames extinguished themselves, revealing the biker's head and skin again. "Jimmy Snakes? You really don't remember me?"

"Uh, no. No I don't. Should I? Do you owe me money? Do I owe YOU money? Hey!" Jimmy suddenly grabbed Stan by the shoulders, his eyes again catching aflame.

"Look into my eyes. Your soul is stained with the dollars of the innocent. Feel their pain!"

"Oh...oh no, I can feel it!" A look of despair crept across his face. "All the people I've scammed and hoodwinked, I feel what they feel! Do you know what it feels like?!"

"What does it feel like Mr. Pines?!" Soos cried.

"It feels annoying." Stan yanked Jimmy's hands from his shoulders. "Look, buy something or get outta here."

Mabel slowly got back to her feet as Jimmy pointed his finger dramatically. "Listen, all of you, as I tell you of this man's transgressions."

"Oh boy, here we go."

"Twenty years ago, my father and I performed in a traveling motorcycle stunt show. One day, a talent agent showed up and told us that if he was impressed by our performance, he would sign a contract with us. But alas! My father's bike broke down just before showtime. That is when...HE came!"

"Wait a minute," Stan smiled and snapped his fingers. "I remember now! Yeah, I was trying to unload this motorcycle I had, and this guy was just bawling about his show. So I sold him the bike and took off."

"But you LIED to us!" Smoke began to curl out from under his jacket. "You said that the bike was 'firing on all cylinders.' Instead, all of the engine cylinders caught fire onstage!"

"And let me guess," Dipper interrupted, "you lost your dad in the fire?"

"Ah...no." The smoke died down briefly. "But the agent laughed in our faces and our future was RUINED! In my rage, I vowed revenge against the man who destroyed our life with his lies!"

"Yeah yeah. Get in line pal."

"That," Jimmy continued, "is when the Devil himself came to me, and dubbed me his Messenger of Unholy Vengeance, hahaha! And by that I mean the Devil finally got me this court order from a judge a few weeks ago."

Jimmy unfolded a piece of paper from his coat and held it out for them to see.

"When you didn't answer your summons, I won the case and got all that I asked for. Everything you own, you owe me in PUNITIVE DAMAGES!" He cackled triumphantly, again catching on fire.

"Everything?!" Mabel couldn't believe it. "Like, _everything_ everything? Even-"

"The Mystery Shack, that's right little girlie!"

Everyone gasped in shock, prompting another laugh from Jimmy.

"I could kick you all off right now with my incredible cursed powers! However, if your uncle will suffer penance, then I will spare you from eviction."

"What?! Why you - you -"

"Ah tah tah, Stanford," Jimmy waved the order in Stan's face. "Mind your words."

Stan seemed fit to burst. "Fine, I'll play your stupid charade. Whaddaya want?"

"I want a hero sandwich with chicken, peppercorns, pepper jack cheese, and as much mayonnaise as you can squirt on. Oh, and a Diet Pitt. NOT the Pitt Nothing, it tastes different. Also get me the remote. And you four?" He pointed at Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy. Then he clicked his tongue and jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "Get outta here, don't wanna see your faces."

* * *

"I can't believe he's treating Stan like this."

Soos was sitting on Dipper's bed, staring at his knees in defeat. The twins were quietly playing a board game on the other side of the room - with Soos here, they couldn't work on their plans. Mabel looked behind her to see the man pouting.

"And I can't believe Wendy just left! We gotta do something to help him!"

"Look, Soos," Mabel turned herself around more to address him. "Stan'll get out of this on his own. It's not a big deal."

"If you're so concerned about it," Dipper added, "fight Jimmy yourself."

Soos sat up straighter. "FIghting? But doesn't that involve...fighting?"

Mabel looked him over. He was like a panda: large, but still a pushover. She pictured the hilarity that could result from him getting in a fight…"Nah, you'd be fine! Look, maybe you don't even have to fight. If you confront him head on, I don't think Jimmy would dare throw a punch at you. Go on!"

"You...you dudes really think so?"

Mabel glanced at Dipper, who had the same grin on his face. "I'm positive. We believe in you one hundred percent - Soos, no, Soos!"

He had suddenly come over and wrapped them in a hug, one twin in each arm, giving them a crushing squeeze. "Thank you guys! You're right, I'm gonna send that Snakes fella packin', powers or no powers!"

Soos left. The twins listened as he went downstairs.

"Hey Jim! We gotta talk!"

Some loud back-and-forth. Then some thumps, and a scream from Soos that grew fainter. The two of them dashed over to the window to see him running down the road, his hat on fire. They both snickered.

"Well, he's out of our way at least." Mabel sat criss-crossed on her bed while Dipper returned to his side of the room.

"Yeah, good call. But, Mabel…?" He pointed at the jar she had carried in from outdoors. The frog inside croaked loudly.

"I just saw it going along and thought it'd be fun for us to play with!"

"Alright, but I asked you to look for the crystals - if we're going to pull this off, we need to find a source of them. You still have the map?"

"Yeah yeah, I got the map. Here you go Mr. Buzzkill."

"I'm not being a buzzkill! We'll play with the frog later, but this is important."

"Buzzkill!"

Mabel snickered as Dipper rolled his eyes and continued. "We have to get that second journal from Gideon, and find the first one before he does. I was reading about different hiding spots that the author marked in the woods. Next time one of us goes out, we should start moving through these like a checklist. If we can find it -"

He was cut short by approaching steps. Mabel began fiddling with the board game, and Dipper hid his materials away, laid on his bed and feigned sleep. Their door opened, and Stan peeked his head in.

"Hey kids! Who wants first dibs on bacon and eggs? Now with bits of shell for added texture!"

Mabel couldn't hold back a wince. "Eh, just a bit, thanks."

"Same here," Dipper mumbled.

"Boom!" He swung open the door, revealing two plates already in his hands. It also revealed a maid outfit which was a size too small for him.

Dipper was first to break the stunned silence. "...Grunkle Stan, I'm not even going to ask, because I'm sure you're going to say something about it anyways."

"Hm? Oh, this. Yeah, Jimmy says that part of my 'penance' is to wear demeaning clothes. I dunno though, I think I'm kinda rockin' this. Boom!" He posed, and the image was scarred into Mabel's eyes forever. Stan's chuckles died away though...and suddenly, Mabel recognized a new expression on his face. "For real though, just doin' my best. At the moment, Jimmy Snakes' got me pinned."

"Yeah," Mabel smirked, "we saw that Soos wasn't so good with trying to break you out." She laughed the group into an awkward silence. They all blinked at each other for a while. Dipper seemed about to say something when a gruff voice downstairs called out:

"Stanford! This lemonade is only twenty-five percent juice! I asked for thirty! And where's my laundry? Can't do anything on time, can you?"

Stan growled. "Hold your horses, I'm comin' down!"

"What did you just say to me?!"

"I said I'm coming!" His face softened again when he turned to the kids. "Now don't you two worry, okay? There's no way that Jimmy's taking the Shack. No court order is gonna tear our home away, not while I have something to say about it!"

"STAN!"

"I said I'm coming!" With a sigh he handed the two of them their food, and gently waved as he closed the door.

Mabel stared down at her food. The fork was a little stained, and the plate had a chip along its edge. The eggs themselves were a bizarre image, runny and yet wriggly, with a bit of white hair fallen into them. True to his word, little bits of shell dotted the surface. However, what struck her most was the bacon: strips had been crudely torn and arranged into a bright red smiley face atop the yellow canvas.

"Mabel?"

She looked over and saw Dipper also gazing at his food.

"Let's wait and talk about Gideon tomorrow…"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Stan was rustling through the cupboards. Mabel could hear him around the corner. "Come on, I KNOW I had some in here earlier! Where'd the sack go?"

Mabel tucked the flour under her arm and slunk upstairs. Ten minutes later she and Dipper listened through the floorboards:

"-think you're going, Stan?"

"We're outta flour, so if you want your stinkin' brownies I gotta get more."

"Alright, but you better not be lying to me."

"I'm not."

"Remember that I practically own your house, your car, your-"

"I _know_."

Silence. "And you have to wear the outfit on your trip."

"What, are you serious?!" Stan's frustration was apparent. "Know what, fine, fine! Let me go get changed again!"

Six minutes later, Stan climbed into his car. The twins watched and waited until he drove out of sight.

They descended the staircase.

"Huh, wha?" Jimmy was sprawled over the armchair, pigging out on a bag of chips. Half-eaten food was littered all over the floor, and the television blared some reality show involving duck hunters driving trucks in Alaska. "Whaddaya want?"

Mabel answered with her best smile. "What? Maybe we're just passing through. We do live here, you know."

"Heh!" Jimmy spat on the ground, leaving a nasty glob on the carpet. "Listen kids: I don't like kids. So stay outta my way. Make yourself useful, or otherwise just go...I dunno, throw a ball at each other."

She felt a cat within her soul, stalking the naive man. "Well, actually, we did have something to talk to you about…"

"What did I just tell you? Leave me alone." He stuffed another handful of chips in his mouth, knocking the bag to the ground. "Stan! Clean up these chips and get these kids outta here!"

"Aw, don't you remember? Our Grunkle went to the store to get flour to bake your brownies!" Mabel could taste the words like honey in her mouth. She crept closer and closer to sinking her claws into Jimmy, and stepped around in front of him. "Do you know what that means?"

"It means get outta the way!" The twins were blocking his view of the television. "I gotta see if they make it, it's the mid-season pre-finale!"

"Huh, no, no no, that's not what it means." Mabel tapped her finger on her chin, savoring the moment. "Bro, do you know?"

"I do." Dipper stepped forward, his cape stirring behind him. "It means Grunkle Stan doesn't have to know about this."

In unison they threw their hands out. The television died. The lights flickered and extinguished. The curtains were closed and the shades were drawn and the shutters clanged shut. Jimmy's face was now illuminated only by the cyan light of the amulets.

"Jimmy Snakes," Mabel repeated just as sweetly as before, "we would like to have a talk with you."

Her soul yowled with pleasure at seeing his eyes widen, his posture shift from loose to alarmed - even if only for a few seconds. But then he laughed shrewdly.

"Very clever. Nice theatrics Mystery Twins, but that isn't going to change the _urgh!_ "

Jimmy clutched at his neck as Mabel raised her hand.

"I said we want to _talk_ , which means you're going to _listen_. You're not very good at that, are you?"

She clenched her fist, pinning his arms to the chair and pressing him back in the seat. His face was stricken with horror, and an apparent struggle to breathe.

"Did you ever meet someone," Mabel wondered aloud, "where you just see them, you get to know them for fifteen seconds, and you say 'Wow...they're really really annoying'?"

Muffled gurgling.

"Yeah, see, we met someone like that just recently." Mabel kept her hand outstretched. " And we'd just tolerate him, except he seems to be intent on moving in. Do you know how that makes us feel?"

She loosened her hold on him a bit, letting him speak. "U-u-u-upset?"

"Upset, yes, that'd be a great word to use! Now, I have another question for you. Or rather, my brother does."

Dipper gave a quick nod as he stepped forward. "Why exactly do you think you can boss around our Grunkle so much?"

"I-I-I have legal documents! That's right, I got you guys cornered!"

"What?" Dipper cocked his head to the side.

"Legal documents! The court order!"

"What court order?"

"Oh, are you really that dumb, kid? The order I showed you before!"

Dipper raised his hand, lightly curling his fingers. Mabel watched as a piece of paper wormed itself from Jimmy's coat and levitated above Dipper's hand. He pointed with a single finger, and suddenly the document burst into flames. The fire devoured the words until ashes rained down over his still-pointing hand.

"What court order?" he repeated.

"Y-you…" Jimmy struggled, and Mabel had to keep him still. "I'll go back, I'll go to the public record and-"

"-and say that you waive your claim? That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Mabel laughed. "Aren't you glad now we had this talk and reached a new understanding?"

He looked from twin to twin, utterly terrified. Dipper prompted him, "This is the part where you agree with my sister."

"Y-y-yes, of course." The biker's demeanor had totally changed now; he seemed close to wetting himself. "I'll, uh, whatever you say, g-girlie."

"The name's Mabel. Do you need a reminder?" She snapped her fingers, summoning a knife from inside her blazer. "I can get you one!"

"No! No no, that won't be…" he gulped, "won't be necessary."

"Aw, you sure?"

"Please!" He broke out crying. Mabel felt Dipper tug on her sleeve, and he leaned over close to her ear.

"Wow," he whispered, "here I thought _I_ was the playground wimp."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted to get back at Stan, I didn't mean to make you mad. I was being stupid and foolish about this whole thing. I even lied about the whole 'dealing with the Devil' thing, I don't actually have any powers!"

"But your whole transformation thing?"

"Combustible skin runs in the family. Rare genetic condition, my grandmother had it..."

"Combustible? Hey Mabel, that gives me an idea actually…"

"No!" He kept crying. "Look, I don't have the order any more. Just let me go, and I promise I won't bother you again."

"Hmmm." Mabel pretended to think it over. "Us or our Grunkle?"

"Yes, anything!"

Mabel nodded, and lowered her hand. Jimmy sat forward, gasping desperately for breath. Dipper didn't allow him any respite before he spoke: "Now, we're going to close our eyes and count to ten. When we say 'ten', we're going to open our eyes. And if we see you again after that, we will turn you inside out. Understand?"

Jimmy nodded. Dipper and Mabel closed their eyes. "One. Two. Three." The sound of running boots and clinking chains and closing doors. "Four. Five. Six. Seven." The sound of a motorcycle sparking up. "Eight. Nine…" The engine vanished into the distance.

* * *

"Yeesh, just left everything behind." They could hear Stan going around clearing up the last few traces of Jimmy's existence. "Even his old socks. Good thing I don't have to clean them now, haha!" He tossed it all in the garbage. "Guess that penance thing wasn't so bad after all. And besides, now we get brownies tomorrow!"

It was night time now, and Stan had had a very pleasant surprise coming home. Since then he had changed back into his business suit, and now the twins were listening to him mutter to himself.

"Doo da doo, pickin' up trash, getting rid of the trash in the room, the trash in my life, trash people, dadada…"

They both got into bed and laid down. Mabel felt good...but in an alien way.

"Hey Dipper?" she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you want to help Grunkle Stan?"

A pause. "I'm not sure. Why are you asking?"

"Just wondering."

"Did you think it was a bad idea?"

"No, no! I was...actually kinda thinking the same thing before you said it."

They both lay there in silence, and Mabel played with burning questions in her head. But it didn't keep her from slumber, and soon she was asleep. The night passed by, uneventfully for the most part. However, a particularly exciting dream ended up getting interrupted in the middle of the night.

Mabel found herself yanked awake, and as she felt the fabric of the pillow on her face she closed her eyes in frustration. "...ah no, no." Her memories of the dream bled away. She cursed her body for waking her up. "Great, now I won't know if the cat got into the opera or-"

She froze.

She had heard a whisper, she knew it. They weren't alone.

Mabel sat up straight in bed, glancing around. With trembling fingers she reached for her headband. The amulet. She needed it. She craved it. She wanted its protection more than anything else. As her fingers wrapped around the band, that's when she saw it.

The moon shone through their window, throwing a triangle of silvery blue onto the floor. In this patch of light, a smaller triangle of shadow appeared, growing arms and legs and a little hat.

"D-Dipper? W-wake up..."

It began to move, sliding across the floor, away from her bed and towards-

"DIPPER!"

The shadow crept up the bed, flitted across the pillow, and poured into her brother's mind.

* * *

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	13. Into the Mindscape

"Come on, come on…"

Mabel flipped frantically through the pages of the journal. There had to be _something_ in here about what just happened. On his bed, Dipper groaned, rocking his head back and forth...

"Got it!" Mabel finally found a picture that matched the shadow she had seen. She read aloud to herself: " 'Bill Cipher, the most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. Whatever you do, never let him into your mind.' 'Do not summon at all costs…'"

She cast a worried glance over to her brother, still restless and moaning. Who knew what the demon was doing in there?

"There has to be something…" she turned the page. "Yes! 'It is possible to follow the demon into a person's mind and prevent his chaos.' Don't worry Dipper," she came over beside him and propped up the book, "I'm coming for you!"

* * *

Dipper found himself in front of a door. The first thing he realized is that he had no idea where he was or what the door led to. He didn't know how he had gotten to that point. The world around him flickered, like it a projection. Dipper didn't question it though; somehow, he felt it was all normal.

He grasped the door handle. Turned it with a click. Swung it open.

Dipper entered into a dark room, filled with bookshelves. A dirty green glow lit the space, but it had no apparent source. He could not see the far walls or the ceiling of the room. Turning around, he saw that the door he had come through had vanished.

He read the sign on one of the shelves. Instead of call numbers, it said "Memories: 5-5 ½" Dipper went down the row, looking at all the different titles. Some were dates, like "September 7". Some had the titles rubbed off, and replaced with scribbles like "Early Spring Lunch with Mom" or "The Compilation of the Times Mabel Used Me as a Sweater Model (Abridged for Convenience)".

One book caught his fancy from afar: a bright red one titled "Birthday". He pulled it off the shelf and opened it. Suddenly the library around him faded, and Dipper found himself in the middle of Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree - the one all the way back in Piedmont, California.

"Happy birthday to you!"

The words sounded unreal...

"Happy birthday to you!"

He turned around, his insides turning to ice, his mouth frozen open.

"Happy birthday Dipper and Mabel! Happy birthday to you!"

He stared at his five-year-old self, feet dangling off the floor. Mabel, also five years old again, sat beside him, bouncing in her seat. "Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!"

"Mabel, please," a soft feminine voice pled with her. "Please stay calm. Let your father cut the cake, okay?"

Dipper felt himself shiver, grow weak. He fell into one of the booth seats as he saw their parents in front of him again. Their mother's soft face, always pressed with worry. Their father's face, smiling...until he saw his son picking at his pizza.

"Dipper, why aren't you eating?"

"I did. I only wanted one piece."

"For the love of - you kids said you wanted a large pizza! I expect you to eat it!"

Dipper watched his younger self cringe - and he felt himself react the same way. Immediately he was flooded with disgust, anger…

But that wasn't the worst part. He hadn't been able to see it as a kid, but from where he was sitting now he could watch it coming. The Hoo-Ha the Owl walkabout came dancing out of the kitchen. He came up behind the twins, ready to greet them.

"Okay kids," their father said, rubbing his hands together, "ready for your big surprise?"

"Yeah!" They both cheered.

"Then turn around, both of you!"

Again, Dipper cringed as he watched his five-year-old self turn around and look up at the owl. "Heya kids! It's me, Hoo-Ha the Owl!"

"AAAAAAAAH!" The younger Dipper screamed in fright, fell off his seat, crawled away, and ran crying to his mother's arms. Mabel was watching in concern, but his father's face was thunderstruck. He could hear the words bleeding through, echoing from the future: "- paid extra - no gratitude - spoiled little - I spend my time working my - you think you can - "

A sick feeling in his stomach. Dipper's eyes squeezed shut. He felt the book in his hands, and snapped it closed.

Silence again.

When he opened his eyes he was back in the library. His hands shook as he replaced the volume, and he speedily walked away. For a while he didn't watch where he was going; when he finally looked up at the signs again, he realized he had wandered all the way to "Memories: Grade 4".

The previous experience had shaken Dipper up, but he still felt his curiosity piqued. He took another bright red book down. This one had a picture on the front of a smiling man and woman; their faces were vandalized with an angry scribble. Dipper took a deep breath, and opened the book.

This time he materialized in a small schoolyard. It was a warm day, nearing the start of summer. The school building was low and tiny, offering only one classroom for each grade. Dipper remembered this place: Phoenix Elementary. They had joined only in the spring semester; they had been in foster care since November.

Dipper felt a sad song in his heart as he scanned the faces around him. All the kids were at least a head shorter than him now, but he recognized them. There was BJ, at the tetherball. And playing tag, there were Claire and Amanda and Becca. And if he remembered right…

Right there, sitting underneath the trees, was himself. Mabel sat beside him, nine years old. Also by their side were two other kids…

"Got it Kyle?" the memory Dipper asked.

"Got it!" Kyle held out his hands, revealing a small green caterpillar.

"Ohhhh…" Mabel cooed, "it's so widdle…"

"Rachel," Memory Dipper tugged at the other kid's sleeve. "What kind is it?"

Rachel had a pair of large purple glasses that she constantly needed to shift around. She opened a book about insects and began flipping through the pages. "Right here, the markings! It's a _Eumorpha fasciatus._ "

As they all fawned over the grub, Dipper saw two adults come towards them. He recognized them as the couple from the book cover. They called, "Dipper! Mabel!"

"Coming!" The twins replied together. They bid their friends goodbye and raced over to their foster parents. They embraced the children, but Dipper saw the bag of takeout in their hand. He recognized this day. He flipped forward a few pages in the book, and now the four of them were sitting at a table in the park next door.

"It's not fair!" Mabel wailed. "We wanna stay here, with you!"

"Dipper, Mabel, I'm sorry," their foster father spoke softly. "But the state says that you have to. It wasn't easy for us to hear either, but-"

"Isn't there anything you can do? Please?"

Dipper could hear the pleading in his younger self's voice. Their foster parents looked at each other.

The woman tried to stroke his hair reassuringly. "It's a matter of resources, Dipper. They just need to move some kids around-"

"But why _us_? Isn't there some paper you can do? Anything?"

"What about our friends?!" Mabel added. "We finally made good friends here, we're gonna have to leave them!"

"Look, you can stay in touch! Write letters, call on the phone. And you can make new friends!"

"B-but I don't want to…" Dipper mumbled. "Please," he wrapped his arms around the woman. "I just want to stay here."

Dipper closed the book again. He didn't need to be reminded of what followed: the heartbreak of having his arms slowly removed, being told that this was for the best, moving all the way to Los Angeles, being forced into an overcrowded school where he and Mabel had been relentlessly harassed. He didn't need to be reminded that Kyle and Rachel wrote them exactly once and never responded again. He didn't need to be reminded about when they learned that it _was_ possible to request a transfer deferral, and they _could_ have stayed after all.. They had simply been handed over without a struggle.

He shelved the book and turned around. On the opposite shelf, a bright green volume caught his eye. When he took it down it felt warm and alive in his hands. He opened it…

"What do we got here, Dip-stick?"

"No, no!" Dipper saw himself as a fifth-grader, corralled into the corner of a jungle gym by a team of kids all blocking him inside. Their leader was busy flipping through his notebook.

"What's this, a UFO? Do you believe in aliens?"

"Well, I, uh...I dunno-"

"Ha! What an idiot! 'Durr, I'm Dipstick! I think aliens are real!'" Everyone laughed. "Look at this trash here, nothing but aliens and Bigfoot and ghosts." He began tearing pages out of the notebook.

"No, stop! Please!" Dipper watched his younger self tear up, trying to feebly wrestle through the wall holding him in. He felt anger building in himself - an anger shared by the girl marching up the steps of the jungle gym.

"That's ENOUGH, Pete!" They all whirled around as Mabel came up to them. Even from a distance, though, Dipper could see her trembling. "Give my brother back his notebook and apologize!"

"Oh, you know what, you're right." He stuck out his lip in a pout. "I see how bad and naughty I was being now….pfft, what do you think this is, a cartoon? You're just gonna stand up to me and I'm gonna back down?"

"Give it back!" she repeated.

"Or what?" He held the notebook high in the air. "You gonna glitter me to death?"

"Give it!" She tried to leap for it, and Pete pushed her away. Memory Dipper watched with horror.

"Look at you, you're nothing but a brat! 'Give this, give that.' Do you think because you knit your own sweaters, or that you won that stupid art ribbon, that makes you better than me? You're not special, you're a weirdo! Maybe that's why nobody likes you…"

"People like me!" she protested.

But Dipper could see the glossiness in her eyes, the crack in her voice. His younger self seemed to get more and more incensed, trading tears for burning rage. Pete laughed again, stepping back.

"Listen, you're ridiculous! You're nothing but a big joke; even the people who say they like you are laughing behind your back. So why don't you just go cry over some macaroni sculpture, and your brother can come join you when I'm done teaching him a -"

"AAAAAAAAH!"

Pete whirled around to see little fifth-grader Dipper charging at him through his distracted lackeys. He hit Pete with both arms outstretched, and sent him sprawling off the edge of the jungle gym and onto the concrete below. The rest of Pete's gang froze in shock, realizing their laxity. They all stared as Pete lay on the ground. For a second he was silent, dazed. Then he whirled around and sat up, looking at them with shocked eyes.

Dipper and Mabel stared down at him in surprise. Then their expression turned into defiance and challenge. They dared him to get up and come after them again; he didn't.

Dipper watched as the twins left the jungle gym. Pete's gang parted to let them through easily. And later that day, he remembered, the notebook was returned right on his desk with all the crumpled pages. Pete, meanwhile, was treated for concussion and a slight fracture for his playground accident.

He exited that memory too and placed it on the shelf. For a moment he stood there, fingers resting on the wood, looking up and down the rows of books. Dipper began walking again. He only heard his own footsteps, the occasional flap from his cape, a solitary cough he let out. Soon he exited the "Memories" section entirely, and came up to "Fears".

This row seemed a lot darker than the others. Shadow made it hard to see the titles. What really got to Dipper though were the voices - the books whispered to him, some with familiar voices. They reminded him of failures, of pain, of dangers lurking. But that wasn't what his attention rested on.

Dipper poked at something that was a cross between a tree root and a tentacle, glowing bright aquamarine. It pulsed with light, and seemed to be growing and reaching. The root enveloped several volumes at a time, growing into the books and extracting who-knew-what from them. He followed the tendril back and found another along the same shelf. Then he saw one across the floor, growing into the shelf next to it. He kept following the roots back to their source, passing through "Fears" to "Hopes" before finally finding where they came from.

Hanging from the ceiling was what looked like a ball of slime, or a colony of worms all pulsating together. Its tentacles had reached down to the floor and spread out, beginning to envelop whatever it could find. Dipper felt a sense of terror in his heart as he approached it; he wanted to run away, and yet it beckoned him in. It knew all his problems, and could take them away.

 _Dipper…_

He stepped forward.

Dipper…

Wait a minute.

"Dipper…"

That was coming from-

"Dipper!"

"Mabel?!" Leaving the blue mass behind he set off back towards Memories, following her voice. "Mabel, where are you?"

"Over here!" He began running faster to catch her. "By 'Memories 11 - 11 ½.'"

He skidded as he tried to turn, nearly sending himself sprawling. Three rows, two rows, one row…and there she was.

"Mabel!" He gasped. "Mabel, what...what are you doing here?"

"Listen, I don't know what's going on, but I saw this weird shadow sneaking into your mind, and when I looked in the journal, I saw that it was this one demon, Bill Cipher?"

"Bill…" He looked around. "Mabel, we gotta get outta here. He's supposed to be really dangerous, and-"

A telephone rang in the distance. Both of them perked up at the sound.

"Come on," Mabel gestured. They both began to sneak around the shelves. There was a conversation happening, and as they drew closer they began to make out the words.

"-relax, I'm going to get it." It was a strange voice, almost artificial and electronic. Dipper didn't recognize it, but he guessed it was Bill.

"Good! Just, be careful…" _That_ voice he recognized alright.

"Gideon…" Mabel gritted her teeth. "When I get my hands on him-" Dipper patted her to keep her quiet.

"Don't worry," Bill replied. "I'm doing this nice and stealthy like you asked. They won't see an inch of me! And once I get that proof, I'll let you know."

"Alright, thanks. And also...actually, if you can, do you think you can move a few memories or emotions around? I dunno how it works really...but can you make it so that Dipper likes me a little more? I think he might be a teensy bit mad with me."

"Hmmm, manipulating a person's emotions. Don't you think that's a little sneaky?"

"Oh come on, please?"

"Sure, sure. I'll work it into our deal. As long as their projections don't end up tracking me down, I'll be-"

"You mean like this?"

The twins finally revealed themselves. They could not see Bill, but he was clearly casting a shadow against the wall. He stepped back in surprise.

"It's funny that you know Gideon too," Dipper advanced. "He's an acquaintance of ours…"

"Dipper! Mabel!" Gideon's voice came frantically from where Bill stood. "This-this isn't what it looks like!"

"You mean you _didn't_ summon a demon to snoop around in my brother's mind?"

"I, uh, no! Not at all! I'm-I'm, uh...Bill! Our deal's up!"

"What?!" The silhouette began chastising itself, like Gideon's face was on it. "Hold on a moment there, Gleeful-"

"The deal is off!"

"NO!" There was the sound of a screen powering down. "No wait, don't!" The triangle looked up in horror.

"You," Dipper growled, pointing at where Bill stood. "Get out of my head!"

He and Mabel snapped their fingers together, and a vortex appeared in the air. The demon yelled, grabbed at the ground, and was finally sucked up and disappeared. As he vanished, the library began to disappear.

"Guess we're waking up," Mabel said, her hands fading away.

"Mhm," Dipper nodded. "And I think we owe someone a visit."


	14. Repercussions

Mabel skipped up the walkway, quietly humming to herself. She knocked on the door and waited. A friendly face opened it.

"Why, Mabel Pines!" Bud Gleeful's eyes lit up when they saw her. "How nice of you to stop by!"

"Hi, Mr. Gleeful. May I come in?"

"Oh by all means, sugar pie! And call me Bud, okay?"

"Sure thing, Miste- Bud." She smiled and came through the door. "Oh, Mrs. Gleeful! Hi!"

"Well hello there, Mabel." Mrs. Gleeful's hair was greying a bit, but her gentle expression still glowed with care. "Always nice to see you."

"Yes," Bud chuckled, "it's always nice to see our little Gideon and you together - puts a song in my heart, it does."

"Aw, stop it." Mabel laughed. "I just wanted to come and see him, it's been a couple days."

"But of course! Gideooon," he called through the ceiling, "your little dumplin's here to see you!"

"I'll go get him." Mabel darted upstairs. "Come on, I know you're in there."

Silence from his room. She knocked on the door, jiggled the doorknob and found it locked.

"Come on Gideon, I got something really cool planned for us!"

Finally he spoke. "I-I, uh, I'm not feeling too well Mabel. Maybe we should get together some other day-"

"Listen to me," she dropped her voice and let all joy and light-heartedness evaporate from it. "You are going to come out of this room, and you are going to talk to me. And you are going to bring the journal. Do you understand?"

Silence.

"If you feel safer, bring the amulet."

Mabel heard him scurry to the other side of the room, rummage for something, go back across, throw around what sounded like blankets, then finally come to the door. She stepped back as it opened. Gideon's forehead glistened with sweat. Around his neck hung the amulet. Under his arm was a journal just like Dipper's.

"There we are!" She announced loudly. He cried out as she picked him up in a hug, crushing him with an extra hard squeeze. "Well," she set him down, "let's get going!"

* * *

Gideon felt his heart racing as he mechanically bid his parents goodbye. Mabel pulled him along, holding his hand with a cold grip.

"Now be back in time for supper," his mother called, "your father's making his famous beefsteak stew and cornbread! You're welcome to join us Mabel."

"Aw, thank you. I'll have to see if I can make it. Come on, Gideon!" With that she yanked him out the door. They crossed the street and began heading for the Mystery Shack. As the two of them entered the woods, Mabel's playful demeanor leaked away. Gideon tried to work up the courage to say something. He summed up all his willpower:

"Mabel?"

Gideon squeaked so pathetically that he flushed in embarrassment. He wouldn't have said anything else the whole way there except that she responded with a curt "Yes?"

"Listen, uh, Mabel, about a couple nights ago, I just want to say-"

"Can it." She gave a sharp tug on his wrist, jolting him forward and silencing him.

"I just want to explain-"

"I said _can it_."

She turned around to look at him with such annoyance that he didn't dare to speak up until after she had dragged him all the way to the Mystery Shack.

"Stan decided to have a 'team outing'. He, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos are out vandalizing other tourist traps. But I convinced him to let me have some time by myself…"

Gideon was powerless to escape the vice that held him. Mabel opened the door and led him inside. When they reached the living room she yanked him down to the floor, and finally let go. She sat cross-legged in front of him, glaring with cold angry eyes.

"Well?"

"I-I-"

"You said you wanted to explain. Well explain!"

Gideon placed a trembling hand on his forehead, felt the slip of sweat. He moved his fingers to his amulet, felt a reassuring tingle run through his arm. After a deep breath, he began to talk.

"Mabel, I haven't been honest with you or your brother. Right away, I wanna apologize for that. I...I should have told you about the journal earlier. Now, because I didn't, you don't trust me anymore, and you have every right to feel that way."

No response.

"The truth is, I discovered this journal several years ago. It's how I learned to do all the tricks for the Tent of Telepathy. It also helped me find my amulet, and how I've been looking for all the monsters around the woods."

"I know," Mabel nodded. "Dipper and I figured that out ourselves."

"Ohhhh," Gideon grimaced and rested his head against his hand. "Listen, I'm so sorry Mabel, about all of this."

She nodded again. "Now, the demon that you summoned to attack my brother-"

"Not attack!" Gideon blurted out. "I specifically told Bill Cipher not to harm Dipper. All I said was for him to find a memory of Dipper with the journal. I just wanted to know if he had one."

"Why didn't you just ask if we had a journal?"

"I did," Gideon cringed again, rubbing the back of his neck, "but, well...we got into a bit of an argument-"

"He told me about it."

"He - oh," he ran his finger behind his ear. His palm suddenly felt uncomfortably wet, and he tried to dry it on his shirt. "I, uh, don't know what he told you…?"

"Enough." Mabel nodded again. "And also, what was that you were telling Bill about messing with my brother's emotions?"

"I was just hoping to get on Dipper's good side! At the moment, I just have this feeling he doesn't really like me, and I just want...you know, to be his friend. He's your brother, Mabel, and I want to get along with him. I never intended for things to turn out like they did, and you're right - I should have just been up front, instead of lying about my journal and resorting to tricks. I've just been feeling so paranoid the past few weeks, even my folks noticed it. I don't know why, I just-"

"Gideon?"

He broke off his ramble as Mabel took a deep breath. Her eyes softened a little bit, but were still stern.

"Gideon, I'm your girlfriend. And I don't like it when you lie to me like that. And I really don't like it when you try snooping around in my brother's brain."

"I know. I'm sorry," he tried to offer again.

Mabel sighed. "Look, Dipper and I know something's going on too. We've been reading our journal-"

"You do have one! I knew it!" Gideon froze when Mabel glared at him again. "Sorry, go on."

"...and we know that they're hiding something: a secret that we need the other journals to unlock. Gideon, I think you might end up being helpful there."

"Really?" He felt his heart lift a bit, excited by the prospect of both adventure and redemption.

"Mhm. If we can pool our resources, we can find out what Gravity Falls is hiding. But Gideon," she raised her finger, "is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"No, nothing else."

"Okay then. Now, I want you to promise me: no more lies between us. No more using spells on each other, no more keeping secrets. Do you understand?"

"Of course! Of course, of course, yes, I promise!" He felt relief wash over him as Mabel stood up.

"Alright then. I forgive you. Come here." With a thin smile she held out her arms.

"Oh, thank you Mabel." Gideon also stood and wrapped his arms around her. "I was so worried that you were going to break up with…"

He felt her fingers clutching the string on his neck.

"...Mabel?"

With a sudden blow she shoved him back, tearing the amulet from his neck.

"AH!"

Gideon fell to the ground and hit his head on the wood. His vision flashed white, colors exploded before his eyes. A pink light, the room growing bigger…

"What, wait!" He scrambled around and saw Dipper behind him; he had been hiding just around the corner. Gideon saw a flashlight in his hands, a crystal over its bulb. He tried to scoot away, but he was already only half his size.

He watched in horror as he was shrunk to only an inch tall. Dipper finally turned off the flashlight, grinning down devilishly. Gideon was still staring up mutely when he felt a pinch on the back of his neck. With a yell he was lifted into the air. The fingers turned him around to stare Mabel right in the face. She gave him a fearsome smile, exposing the shiny silver of her braces.

"Surprise, Gideon!"

* * *

Mabel smooshed Gideon's face onto the scanner. She could feel him squirming as the carriage came across, blinding him with its green light. After it passed she pulled him back up. He was still trying to rub the light from his eyes when she unceremoniously dropped him into a glass jar and left him on Stan's desk.

"What are you doing?!" Gideon screamed, and he began hammering on the glass.

"Shut up." Mabel didn't even look at him as she worked the scanner. There was a buzz, a puff of smoke, and two sheets of paper printed out. A grimacing Gideon was printed on each one. As she watched, their colors brightened, and they peeled themselves off the page. Dipper aimed his flashlight and fired.

Mabel watched as the two Gideons grew to their proper height. They looked at each other, then the twins, then their original counterpart trapped in his jar.

"Okay," Dipper stowed the flashlight in his pocket. "Gideon Two and Gideon Three?"

They both turned to face him.

"First things first." He picked up a cup of water from the desk and splashed one of the clones.

"Ahhh!" The clone recoiled in shock, quickly melting to the floor. His copy stood there, paralyzed.

"First thing I want you to know," Dipper jabbed him in the chest. "You are _replaceable_. If you get out of line, we will melt you and get another copy to take your place."

"O-okay…uh, when you say get outta line, what do you want me to-"

"We want you to be Gideon." Mabel approached him, "And we _don't_ want you telling anyone about this little oopsy-daisy here. Or acting up in any way. Just go be Gideon, and stay out of our way. If you don't do that, we replace you. Got it?" A scared nod. "Take a rain jacket, and get home."

Mabel watched the clone rush out of the office. Then she turned to the real Gideon in the glass. "As for you…" She picked up the jar, making him lose his footing, and grinned inside.

"W-w-what are y-you gonna do t'me?!" He backed to the other side of the vessel.

"Aw, I don't wanna hurt you Gideon! You're so cute and pudgy!" In her excitement she shook the jar around, knocking him from side to side. "I mean, I could use a new doll… but at the same time I'm feeling kinda peckish." She loved seeing the terror renewed in his face, and she laughed again.

"Mabel, now be nice to him." Dipper took the jar from her. "After all, he's very important to us." He held Gideon in front of his face, watching him back away again. "Huh. You don't seem so cocky now."

"Di-Dipper, please, I'm sorry!"

"I understand." Dipper kept staring him down. "Don't worry, we won't hurt you for now. After all, if anything happens to your clone, we'll need to make another one. Can't do that if you're dead."

Gideon nodded, "Yeah, yeah that's right…"

"But the _real_ fun," Mabel grabbed the jar back, knocking him down again, "will come after we don't need you. We'll figure something out, get rid of the clone, and then…" She cocked her brow, drummed her fingers on the glass. Gideon looked like he was about to wet himself.

"Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Dipper took the jar again and tucked it under his arm. Once again, Gideon was knocked around as he was carried up the stairs and to the twins' room. Dipper placed the jar on their nightstand. "We'll find a place for you later on."

Gideon looked at his surroundings, and stumbled back as he turned around to find a mounted set of butterflies staring at him. Thick silver pins pierced their torsos, and their labels had Dipper's handwriting…

"Oh, and in case you have any clever tricks…" Mabel held up his amulet. The moment he turned to face her, she dropped it on the ground and smashed it beneath her foot. A small cloud erupted from its remains, and the jewel's glow died. Suddenly she perked up again. "Anything we can get you?"

Gideon said nothing.

"Alright, we'll come back to check on you!" Dipper exited the room ahead of her, and she closed the door.

"Okay, ready?"

"You bet, bro."

Dipper held Journal 2 in his hands. He opened it, and flipped through the pages until they found what they wanted.

"Let's have a talk with Bill."


	15. Triangulum Entangulum

Dipper checked on the loveseat. In the kitchen. He came back and shuffled through the magazines on the end table. "Hey Mabel, where'd you put Journal 3?"

She was just lighting the last in their circle of blue candles, which burned on the floor. "I didn't touch it. Last I had it was yesterday."

"Okay, let's see," he tried to remember. "I took it, went looking for the crystals...then I gave it to you...but then I picked it up again, that's right…"

"When'd you have it last?" She picked up Journal 2 and studied their design.

"I thought I left it on my bed, but I didn't see it when we were upstairs." He rested his chin on his hand, looking around nervously. "Has to be here somewhere…"

"Hey, it'll be fine. Let's take care of this first."

Dipper tried to shove his worry about Journal 3 off to the side and came over beside Mabel. She cradled the book in her arms, glancing from it to the circle they had set up.

"Ready?"

He took a deep breath. "Let's do it. Wanna read the spell?"

"Mmm, scared?"

"What? No!"

"Haha, don't worry. I got this." Mabel cleared her throat. " _Triangulum entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium.._."

They stared at the circle. Nothing happened, except a small flicker from a candle.

"Did you read it right?"

"Yeah, I think so? It's all weird old-speak, and-" her voice suddenly caught.

"Mabel?"

Mabel dropped the journal. It looked and sounded like she was choking.

"Mabel! Mabel, oh my god, are you okay?!" She squeezed her eyes shut, and fell to her knees. "Oh my god! Mabel! Uh, uh, how do I-"

Her eyes suddenly flew open. Dipper felt his spine tremble; her pupils and irises had been replaced with bright blue circles. She bent her head back and began screaming,, "Jessemdzerkebb Jessemdzerkebb Jessemdzerkebb JESSEMDZERKEBB _JESSEMDZERKEBBJESSEMDZERKEBB-"_

Dipper felt his hair blow in a breeze that didn't exist. The room disappeared around them, and a rising tone filled his ears. As the blue candles faded to grayscale and then black, their fire floated into the air. The dancing flames began to arrange themselves: three along a bottom line, then two on either side, with a single dot right in the middle. The dots began to connect. Dipper watched as in the black void, a golden skeleton appeared of a triangle with one eye. The wind blew harder. The tone kept escalating, screeching.

Then silence.

The triangle vanished, and Mabel slumped forward, her eyes back to normal. "Mabel!" Dipper helped her up. "You alright?"

"Yeah…" she was clearly shaken, but was regaining her energy quickly. "That was weird...but I think it worked."

She pointed to where a single eye floated in the darkness, just below their chest.

"Y...you called?"

Dipper came up to the demon. "Bill Cipher?"

"Th..that's me...is this about what happened before? Are you mad?"

"Yeah, it is, and I am." He looked down at the eye, looking up in supplication, and smirked. "So you're the dangerous demon we were warned not to summon?" With a laugh he turned to Mabel. "Look at this," he went to flick his eye, "he's just a big cryba-"

The moment he touched the demon, he felt a yank on his finger, and Dipper tumbled into a void. He screamed as he fell, feet over his head, gravity yanking this way and that, in all directions and not at all. Lights, flashing, laughing. Finally he was unceremoniously dumped on an invisible floor, as he heard cackling above him.

"Wow you can be dumb! Really, what were you expecting kid? Some puppy-eyed wimp?" Bill fully materialized now, yellow with black limbs. A hat and bowtie also appeared on him. "I'm the master of the mind, but you already know that! Just like I know you, Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines."

Dipper was still trying to re-orient himself. Mabel helped him back up. "Wha...how do you know about us?"

"I have eyes in many places! Also, I did my own poking around in your memories, and sheesh you've got issues. But enough about me. Let's talk about you two, and how I owe you a big thanks for taking care of that Gideon kid!"

"Wait," Mabel was confused, Dipper could see it on her face. "You weren't working with Gideon?"

"Only as a contract - I mean, my line of work, you take a job where you can get it. But between you and me," Bill floated down to them with his eye half-lidded, "the kid's an idiot. You know how long he had that journal? Do you know how much power that journal could have given him? And instead he went off tracking down demon caterpillars! I was desperate for someone, ANYONE else, and look who answered!"

Dipper looked at Mabel. He didn't know what to make of this, so he cleared his throat and began to talk about what they'd planned. "Well, I hope you're grateful to us, because we want answers now. And we want you to make up for what you did, one way or another."

Bill laughed again. "Oh, you two are adorable!"

"We are _not_ adorable," Dipper growled, "we're going to make you pay for invading my — AH!"

Without warning his feet lost traction with the ground. He slipped almost comedically and fell on his back.

"Listen, kiddo," Bill waved his hand and conjured a cane from the air. "I like your spirit, it'll be useful. But rule number one: this is _my_ territory. Don't you get it? I _wanted_ you to 'defeat' me the other day, I wanted you to get upset with Gideon and dispose of him. I could have been in and out of your mind in less than a minute, or I could have blasted you both to bits. My point is, the mindscape is _mine_. Got it?"

Dipper glared up at Bill, but with a sigh nodded. "Got it."

"Great! Now we can talk about the good stuff." He leaned on his cane, like he was talking to an old friend. "Like I was saying earlier, I've been watching you for a long time, and I must say I like what I've seen!"

"Really?" Mabel answered.

"Mm, you deserve a prize. I know! How about a living trophy?" He snapped his fingers, and a small clay statuette appeared in Mabel's hand. It opened its mouth and groaned in agony, bits of clay dripping from its maw.

"AAAH!" Mabel screamed and dropped it, jumping into Dipper's arms. "It's made of horror!"

"Mabel, no!" Dipper struggled to support her weight. His arms and legs began to shiver, then he fell backwards on the ground. Bill cackled at their panic, and with a clap of his hands the statue screamed and burned into ashes.

"But seriously kids," he continued as they tried to calm down, "I've seen the way you act, you two are clever. I need minds like yours for a...certain project I'm planning."

"Why would we want to help you?! Mabel, Mabel it's gone…"

"Okay, it's okay, I'm fine." She managed to calm down. They both got up, and she glared at Bill. "What's the matter with you?!"

"Too many things to count, hahaha!" Bill floated up and above their reach. "But I do think you'll be interested in what I have to offer."

"What, are you just gonna keep torturing us like this?" Dipper stepped forward. "We'll find your weakness, and we'll use it against you."

"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that over the millenia, I could melt them down and trap five people inside. I guess that means you're not interested though?"

"No, we're not."

"Yeah," Mabel agreed. "Get outta here!"

"Alright, I guess you two don't want unlimited power."

Dipper's ears perked up, but his reason quickly reeled him in. "Yeah, I've heard that before in fairy tales. Nice try Bill."

"You mean you wouldn't like to put those jerks in their places?" Bill didn't have a mouth, but if he did Dipper was sure he'd be grinning. "Wouldn't like to teach them a lesson?"

"We don't need your help to do that," Mabel scoffed.

"No, but you need your teachers' help and your peers' help. You're never allowed to get your hands dirty, even when people call you ' _Dipstick'_ , or ' _Little Brat'_ , or ' _Freak'_ , or ' _Orphan'_..."

Dipper stiffened as the names rang out in familiar voices, voices of people long past. In fact he could see them, coming out of the darkness, taunting faces that pointed and laughed. He subconsciously stepped closer to Mabel.

"Oh gee, that sure is annoying." Bill floated above the figures. "Wouldn't it be so much easier if you could just…"

He snapped his fingers. Their bodies caught aflame, their jeers replaced with agonized screams. Despite his hardness, Dipper felt a shiver and recoiled as he saw the kids he knew, even if they were bullies, burning alive before his eyes. The grisly scene repulsed him - yet he was enthralled at the same time. He looked up at Bill, silhouetted against the firelight. "Alright. I'm listening."

"Me too," added Mabel.

"There we go! Now, the deal is simple: you kids will help me put together a little party here in the third dimension, and in return I'll reward you both with a position of favor in the new world order!"

As he spoke, the burning kids vanished, and the three of them were zooming out into space, the Earth shrinking. Now it floated between them, Bill on one side and twins on the other.

"See all this?" The demon motioned over the globe. "You'll control the whole thing with me and my gang. You'll be prince and princess of the prom, you'll be one of us! And most importantly, no one will ever dare to mess with you again."

Dipper stared at the Earth, its surface webbed with golden city lights. He looked at Mabel, could see the stars in her eyes, the hunger that was building in her. He looked at Bill, who was eclipsing the Sun; again he was silhouetted, a blinding light dancing behind him as he held out his hand.

"A little access to your minds, a few errands here and there, and in return world domination. Whaddaya say? Do we have a deal?"

Dipper glanced to his sister again. He thought quickly, then replied, "On one condition: we want our minds to stay private. No coming in unless we specifically say so."

Bill sighed. "Sheesh, I wish this was the seventies again before this 'privacy' thing became a big issue. Okay, no random intrusions, but if I ask I want in. And just to be safe, I want you all to wear a little something for me."

Dipper turned it over in his head. He wished he had more time to figure it out, but despite being caught on the spot he hoped he had given them enough safe space. Bill didn't seem totally trustworthy, not after how he had manipulated Gideon. But at the same time, if they could get something out of it…

"Well bro?" Mabel got his attention. "Deal?"

Dipper gulped. He nodded. Turning back he watched Bill's hand catch with blue flame. "I'm waiting kid..."

He took a deep breath.

"It's a deal."

He reached over the globe and shook Bill's hand, the fire dancing onto his fingers and up to his wrist. Then Mabel shook as well.

"There we go!" Bill tipped his hat. "It was a pleasure doing business with you two, and if you don't need anything else, I'll be off-"

"Wait," Dipper stepped forward. "Really quickly. Where's Journal 3? And for that matter, Journal 1?"

"Oh yeah, I know where they are." He didn't continue.

"And?"

"And you'll find them when the time's right. Don't worry kiddos, your old pal Bill's got everything under control. Well, until next time, keep folding tinfoil, head to Marfa, look up MKULtra, seeyaaaaaaa!"

With a flash Dipper woke up in their room again.

"Whoa...augh," he had a splitting headache. "Mabel?"

"Yeah?"

"Just checking." With a groan he got to his feet. "So, uh, I guess that just-"

He raised his hand to cradle his head, but he paused when he saw his palm. On it was drawn a triangle with one eye. Below it was writing: WEAR THIS SYMBOL ON YOUR CAPES. I WILL BE WATCHING.

"M-Mabel," he held out his hand. She squinted at the words.

"Wait, there's more below it."

Dipper looked again. On his wrist were penciled the words LOOK WHAT I DID TO YOUR OTHER HAND. He checked, and his worry quickly turned into annoyance.

"What does it say?"

With a sigh he began to read the scribbles aloud: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home…"

* * *

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	16. Lost and Found

Gideon gasped for air. He threw himself against the glass again, nudging his prison a little closer to the edge. Dipper and Mabel snored on either side of him. This was his chance, if he could break the jar and escape in the darkness and confusion, he could get home...he hit his shoulder on the glass once more, and the jar shook. Again. He could see to the floor below. Again. He was hanging over the edge of the nightstand. Again, it was tilting…

Gideon clapped his hand over his mouth as he fell through the air, his stomach tickling as he plummeted. The jar hit the ground, bouncing him about - but it didn't shatter.

"What?!" He hammered on the jar again. "That always works on TV! No, no!"

Gideon kept pounding his fists on the jar, the sound of flesh on glass echoing against his ears. He could also hear that the snores had stopped, the rustle of blankets, the booming of massive feet on the floor.

"Whatsa matter with you, Gideon?"

He felt the jar jerk around again as it was picked up. Mabel stared through the glass, clearly tired and annoyed at being woken. The window behind her just barely showed the first light of morning.

"Look at this!" She thrust the jar at Dipper, who was propping himself on one elbow and glaring at Gideon. "Did we ask for an alarm clock? Well?"

She jostled Gideon around in bleary frustration, half-wanting to toss him against the floor herself.

Dipper looked like he was about to speak, when they heard an engine pull up outside, then a car horn. "Outta the way, stupid goat!"

"Stan!" The twins exclaimed together. He wasn't due back for another couple hours! Mabel put the jar under her arm and dashed to their closet, stashing Gideon inside. "Don't cause any trouble!" She gave him a fierce glare, received a nod, and slammed the door shut. As she grabbed her clothes to change out of her pajamas, she saw Dipper rummaging around. "Whatcha lookin' for?"

"The journal…"

"Still can't find Journal 3?"

"Well, yeah, but Journal 2, it's —" he looked up, thunderstruck. "It's downstairs! I left it downstairs yesterday!"

"Go get it!" Mabel jerked her head towards the door, and he bolted downstairs. She rolled her eyes. He kept obsessing over Stan finding the journals, but she didn't think it was a big deal. What would he possibly want with them anyways? The worst he would do is probably prop it up on a podium and hawk it as the Ancient Book of Ancientness.

She changed in the bathroom, listening to Dipper run back upstairs and into their room. When she returned she found him just buttoning up his shirt.

"He got it," Dipper grumbled. "He must have."

"Must have?"

"It wasn't down there, I know I left on the table last night," he grimaced and hit his forehead with his palm. "Stupid, stupid! I should have brought it up…"

"Hey, hey," she stopped him. "Don't worry, maybe he didn't find it after all."

"But I _know_ I left it on the table! Unless you took it, there's no one else in the house!"

Before Mabel could answer, they heard Stan's voice: "Kids! I'm gonna make breakfast and then I wanna talk to ya! Come down as soon as you can!"

"Look, we'll ask him about it at breakfast. I'll get it outta him," she winked and nudged him. "Now come on, get your stuff on; we gotta advertise our show today."

They both donned their amulets and then their blue capes — which each now bore a yellow triangle with an eye, staring out behind them.

* * *

Stan's voice floated from the kitchen while the twins sat to the table. "Sorry, I woulda been back sooner, but even Grunkles gotta sleep, right?"

"Yeah," Dipper called to the other room. "I mean, we weren't expecting you back until later…"

"Nah, I wanted to get home early to surprise you! Didn't mean to wake you up."

"Oh, it's fine," Mabel snarked. She glanced around the dining room for any sign of Journal 2, or for that matter Journal 3. Dipper's words stuck in her mind. There was no one else in the house...right?

"Yeah, we had a good day out, trashed Granny Sweetkin's Yarnball, heheh. Alright, here ya go!" Stan came in, carrying three mugs in one hand and a large plate with the other. "Toast with blueberry jam and peanut butter, and to drink, your choice of black coffee, tomato juice, or hot chocolate!"

"Uh," Mabel looked at Dipper, who seemed just as confused about the unusual menu. "I'll have the chocolate?"

"Sure thing, pumpkin. Oh! Hold on, I forgot somethin'." He set the food and mugs down and disappeared back into the kitchen. Dipper got Mabel's attention.

"After whatever this is, should we ask him about the journals?"

"Yeah, I'll lead at the first opportunity." They both nodded to each other just as Stan returned.

He carried both journals under his arm.

"Here we are!" He set them both on the table, side by side. "Been doin' a bit of readin', guess I don't do as much as I should."

Mabel's mind collapsed when she saw the books; for once, she didn't have a plan on what to do. Dipper was equally dumbfounded.

"I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed one, uh, this one," Stan pointed at Journal 3, "for a bit o' something to keep myself occupied over the roadtrip. And then I found this other one lyin' around when I got back, and figured I'd help myself."

"Uh, yeah," Mabel chuckled nervously. Stan kept staring at them, staying relaxed...but at the same time there was a certain alertness in his eyes, a secure attention. "Are you...liking them?"

"Eh, honestly a little dense for my tastes, but there's some cool stuff in here." He opened Journal 3 and flipped through it. "Oh, sorry, here's your food." He lifted the toast off the plate and passed it over one piece at a time, directly above the journal's pages. Mabel felt on edge as the jam dripped over the crust of the bread, then caught Stan watching her reaction. "But like I was sayin', nothin' super important, right?"

"No, nothing really," Dipper laughed. "Yeah, just some silly books we got. Nothing at all interesting, so can we have 'em back?"

"Hey, why the rush kiddo? Can't an old man have a little fun reading?"

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel tried to turn the tables in their favor again, "I thought you hated reading?"

"Just depends on what catches my fancy!" He looked at the mugs. "Oh! Sorry, keep forgettin' stuff."

He softly chuckled as he passed Mabel the hot chocolate and Dipper the tomato juice, holding the mugs by the handles, letting them tilt just so...the twins quickly snatched the drinks away before they could spill. Stan took a slow sip of his coffee before he continued.

"Now, quick change of subject. I know I asked you before Dipper, but I want to talk to both of you about this: How did you get so good at magic tricks?"

Mabel felt her insides freeze. She blinked, trying to appear casual. "Well, you know, just practice…"

"I dunno, some of the stuff you've pulled off, I've never seen before. Almost looks real!"

"Haha, yeah, could you imagine that, real magic? But I mean, come on, that'd be impossible!"

"Yeah, heheh, that would be pretty cool though," he slowly ran his finger around the rim of his mug. It came up to his lips again. "Could you imagine, if you could actually do — whoa!"

The cup spilled from his fingers, and the coffee spilled from his cup. Black drops, threatening to irreversibly stain whatever they touched, rained down towards the journal.

They never touched its pages.

Dipper was half out of his chair, one hand clenched white-knuckled on his amulet, the other grabbing at the air. The mug and coffee were frozen in midair in a blue glow. Mabel felt out-of-breath from the shock. As it wore off, though, she began to wince and look to Stan. He was sitting back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.

"Magic 'tricks', eh?"

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper sat down, righted the mug, and motioned the coffee back into it, "we can explain."

They spent a half-hour detailing how Dipper had found the journal, how they had used it to find the amulets, that they used the amulets in their stage show, and how they had used the journal to save Wendy's friends. The whole time Stan only slowly nodded, offering "Uh huh," as feedback. When they finished he leaned forward.

"Kids, thank you for finally telling me the truth about this." He was silent, and so Mabel hazarded a question.

"How...how did you find out?"

"Sweetie, your Grunkle Stan may not have gotten the best marks in high school, but I'm no idiot. Weird stuff happens all over this town! And more importantly, that weird stuff is dangerous. If I had my way, you would have never found out about it."

"But it's helped us!" Mabel stood up. "Look at our show, people love us now! We couldn't have done that without our amulets."

Stan stared at the gemstone on her headband. "I dunno, I still don't like it. But if you kids promise to be careful...I'll let you be."

"Whew! Thanks Grunkle Stan!" Mabel and Dipper were about to grab the journals when he suddenly slammed his hands down on them again.

"Hold on, two more questions. First: you told me about finding one of the journals. Where'd you find the second one?"

"Oh, uh," Mabel settled for a half-truth. "Gideon had it! He lent it to us."

"Mhmmm. Now, second: if you're doing this magic, I want to make sure you're doing it safely. You can use it for your show, and if you get attacked by anything. Heck, something's gonna try to attack you sooner or later around here. But only for defense, and don't go looking for trouble, got it?"

Mabel thought about Gideon upstairs, trapped in his jar; she thought about their deal with Bill, and what they had promised…

"Got it."

"Alright," he released the journals and downed his coffee. "Go ahead and eat up. We're opening the doors right on schedule today."

* * *

There was a gasp from the crowd as Mabel let the knife fly. Dipper stood at the other end of the stage against a massive target, extending his arms out, and only blinked as the blade embedded itself by his ear. Subsequent knives brushed his elbows, his sides, his hips, and each time wild applause reached their ears.

"Thank you!" Mabel bowed. "Just one more!" She twirled the knife around. "And here we WHOOPS!"

She flubbed her footing as she tossed. A scream erupted as the knife hurtled towards Dipper — who caught it in one hand.

"Mabel," he grinned, "please be more careful."

He flicked his wrist and turned the blade into a daisy. The audience went wild as he waved it around. "Thank you! Thank you!" Dipper tossed the flower into the crowd, then stepped back to link arms with Mabel.

"You've been a wonderful audience! Good night, Gravity Falls!" With a flick from both of their hands, they were consumed in harmless blue flames, and the crowd cheered until the curtain closed in front of them.

"Great show kids!" Stan said as they got off-stage. He was thumbing through a stack of bills. "And hey, nice new effects." He winked, gave them each a twenty, and then gestured them towards the crowd. "Your loyal fans await!"

Mabel went through the usual motions, shaking people's hands and smiling and thanking them for coming. Dipper had learned a similar routine, and so they passed through most of the crowd. As Mabel prepared to recite her script again, though, she was startled to see the person she was shaking hands with.

"Pacifica? What, back for another round of bowl—"

"Hold on Mabel," she interrupted her gloat. "Come on, Dad!"

"...Mr., Mrs. Northwest?"

"Come on, ask her!"

Mr. Northwest sighed. He began to open his mouth, but Pacifica filled in for him:

"Okay listen, we need your guys' help. We're having a big party in a few days, and we're having a...bit of a problem."

"Let me speak." Her father pushed her around behind him. "Dipper and Mabel Pines, I hope you will excuse my shabby dress," he was wearing a full suit complete with a custom monogram on his pocket and golden cufflinks, "but if you are as skilled with the supernatural as the town says you are, then we will need your services at our manor. We need you to expel a ghost for us before our party begins."

"Or you could just open the gates," Pacifica blurted out.

"Pacifica!" Her mother scolded her. "Don't interrupt your father when he's talking!"

"Hold on," Mabel said, "open the gates? If that will get rid of the ghost, just do it."

Mr. Northwest closed his eyes, clearly annoyed. "The annual Northwest dinner party is a fine and exclusive event, steeped in tradition. Great figures from around the world gather under one roof to rub elbows and discuss matters the common folk wouldn't understand — oh, and raise charity money," he coughed this last part. "Yes, there's philanthropy, still good and not classist at all."

Pacifica rolled her eyes and talked to the twins directly. "I've been going back and forth with him on this for a week. The ghost said that if we continue to keep the town out this year, 'wealthy blood will stain the ground'." She shuddered. "So, can you come, capture the ghost, and make sure no one dies?" She leaned in close. "And also try to help me convince my dad?"

Mabel nodded. "I think we can help with that…"

"Yeah, but," Dipper took her hand and gave her a glance, "it's kind of a big job. Maybe we should...sleep on it first?"

* * *

"Oh yeah, that's right, Jacky's coming out of hibernation this year!" Bill twirled his cane around as Dipper and Mabel stood in front of him. "He's a fun guy, going on about the blood of the Northwests and fiery vengeance." He sighed. "Truly a man after my own heart."

"So," Mabel spoke, "we just wanted to know what you know about him? Or do you know anything?"

"Do I know anything about him?!" Bill cackled. "Oh, you crack me up. Listen, I got eyes all over that manor, and I can tell you that this guy's pretty upset. I mean, if you don't go, then the whole place burns down with a bunch of people inside. Now THAT'D a party!"

An interesting idea popped into Mabel's mind. "Hey, if Pacifica's stuck in there...then that means I don't have to compete with her anymore."

"Right you are!" Bill said. "NOW you're thinking like a henchmaniac! But, fun as that would be...I think we can use the Northwests a little more effectively."

"How?" Dipper sounded interested, an interest that Mabel shared.

"Like I said, I'm pulling the puppet strings where I need to for now. And these ones, I want you to have a turn tugging on. You two are going to that mansion to get rid of that ghost. First though, I want to show you guys a special trick, a trade secret of mine…"


	17. Northwest Manor

Dipper rotated his arms around. His blue tuxedo jacket was a little tight by the pits, and when he raised his arms it bunched around his shoulders. "Uh, Mabel?"

"Hold on…" She was just sewing up a hem on her midnight blue dress. Well, she wasn't really sewing it herself — the needle moved through the air on its own, and she merely directed it. "Yeah bro?"

"Got a bit of a wardrobe malfunction here." He raised his arms again, and he felt the suit come up past his neck.

"Oh boy. Hold on, keep your arms out...there, keep 'em there."

Mabel swiped her finger, and a blade zoomed past Dipper's underarm, slicing the cloth but leaving his skin unmarked. Then with a twirl of her hand she had the needle go to work. Dipper could feel as it leapt out and dove in, uncomfortably close to his skin. "Hey, be careful…"

"I am, I am!"

"OW!" He felt a pinprick and flinched away.

"See? You distracted me. Let me finish."

He rubbed his underarm.

"Oh you'll be fine. Come on, let me finish."

He narrowed his eyes, but let her continue. Ultimately his suit was fixed without further incident. "Thanks, Mabel. Now, my bow tie…"

"Bap!" She draped it playfully over his head. He rolled his eyes and, with a wave of his fingers, it slithered around his collar and tied itself into a neat bow.

"How's it look?"

"Ehh…" Mabel straightened it. "There we are! Now, how do _I_ look?" She held out her arms and slowly turned on the spot.

"Like you're going to a rich fancy-pants party."

"Just what I was going for!"

Dipper looked at himself in their mirror. With his hair slicked back and his tuxedo all finished, he actually cut a pretty sharp figure. "Hey...do you think girls would think I look good in this?"

"Girls?" Mabel snickered. "That's a funny way to pronounce 'Wendy'."

"What? No! I-"

"You what?"

She kept staring at him with a smirk, eyes half-lidded. Finally he sighed. "Fine, yes, I'm thinking about Wendy."

"Nothing gets past me," she reminded him. "Now come on, Soos is waiting."

Stan had declined to go with them to the party, citing some maintenance he had to do with the Shack's wiring, "and I'm not hiring some overpaid electrician to break something and charge me double!" As a result, Soos was going to be taking them to the Northwest Manor in his pickup truck. He was waiting downstairs with Stan when the twins came down.

"Wow!" He said, "You two look spiffy! How d'you like my get-up?" He was in a tuxedo a few sizes too small, with the buttons close to bursting. "Pretty neat huh? Cousin Reggie let me borrow it."

"Alright alright, everyone looks good." Stan interrupted, leaning against the wall with a Pitt Cola in his hand. "Now, you kids have fun at the party. And, uh, what's that thing responsible parents say...oh yeah! Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He sipped the cola. "Off you go then."

The twins followed Soos to his truck and climbed into the back seat, making sure not to ruin their clothes. "Let's start 'er up," Soos sparked the ignition, "and the party vehicle's on the road!"

Their drive took them through the center of Gravity Falls, along a long twisting road, and to the top of a large hill overlooking the town. A huge mob of people had gathered outside the gates, which opened only to let the truck through.

Dipper stared out the window at all the people scrambling over each other to get a glimpse at the party inside. The rain turned the turf to mud, soiling all their clothes. He looked at Mabel and jabbed his thumb at them. "Look at that, it's pathetic…"

"Oh Dipper, be nice. They just want to see lives more exciting than their own! It's just like when they see us on stage."

"Hmm," he mused over her perspective. "Guess that means we have to put on a good show for them?"

"Yep." Mabel looked out at them again as the gates began to swing closed. "Them and Bill."

* * *

"Pacifica, lead our guests to the...problem area."

"Alright. Come on guys."

Pacifica motioned them forward, and they followed her, leaving Soos behind to stuff his face at the snack bar. Dipper couldn't help but chuckle at the horrified expression the Northwests wore as they watched the grown man pile food onto his plate and into his mouth.

"Come on," she called again, and Dipper tore his gaze away from the scene. "Thanks for coming guys, I really appreciate it. I can't tell you how many times I asked Dad to just open the gates. He's still caught up in that 'sophisticated Northwest reputation' stuff." She scoffed as they reached a hallway. "Oh, speaking of which, you get to see our long line of 'family accomplishments'." She motioned to one side, where a series of tapestries hung. They depicted various people that Dipper guessed were Northwest ancestors. "Remind me to show you guys the real ones later. Ugh…"

"Whoa, hold on," Mabel paused. "What's that one?"

"That? I don't know, neither do my folks. But apparently it's some ancient native tapestry, very valuable."

Dipper's blood chilled as he stared at it. The other images were colored, but this one had only a splash of red against grayscale. There was fire, bones, a scorched landscape, with figures kneeling and bowing. And floating above them, a triangle with a single eye, watching the people's supplication, watching Dipper and Mabel and Pacifica right now it felt like…

"But anyways," Pacifica interrupted his thoughts, "just a few more doors down."

Dipper couldn't shake the strange feeling that the tapestry had left him with. He knew that Bill wasn't here to spread peace and love, but at the same time...if he was looking to control the Earth, what exactly did he plan to do with it? Pacifica led them into the room, though, and he decided to file away the issue for later.

"It's in here." She stepped aside and let them enter. There was a fireplace to their left, which was joined by a painting of a lumberjack and a series of mounted animal heads. Wide windows lined the far wall. "The billiards table keeps moving around, and we hear really weird voices."

"Alright then. Mabel, ready to go?" He pulled Journal 3 from his jacket.

"You got it." She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. A soft turquoise light began to surround her.

"Whoa…" Pacifica gasped. "That's so cool!"

"Shhh!" Dipper flipped through the journal. "We need to concentrate."

"Oh, right."

Dipper began looking over the instructions. "Has the ghost been appearing primarily in pictures, or as a stand-alone apparition?"

"A little bit of both."

The nearness of her voice made Dipper jump back. She had sidled up right beside him and he hadn't noticed! "Uh...can I help you?"

"Oh, I just want to see." She shrugged. "And…I guess it is kinda scary. Might be nice to have a little protection, right?"

Dipper heard Mabel snort in laughter. Pacifica either didn't hear or ignored it.

"You know, I really appreciate you guys coming, not just for the ghost. Even though he doesn't open the gates, my Dad lets me invite a few friends every year. It's really special."

"Uh-huh." He was double-checking the journal.

"I usually invite Candy and Grenda, but they both said they couldn't make it this year. At least we can hang out, the three of us, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah," she awkwardly looked around. "You know, part of the party is a waltz." Dipper almost dropped the book when she said this. "Maybe you and I could do it? If you want. And if you can't waltz, don't worry — no one really judges you."

"Maybe, we'll have to see." He raised the journal to his face to read.

"Of course, if it gets late, you're free to use the guest rooms. It could be like a sleepover! You and Mabel can take the Baroque suite, and —"

"You know what, Pacifica?" Dipper was desperate for her to be quiet, "we'd love your help in this right now..."

"Really?" She perked up at finally getting feedback from him. "What do you need me to do Dipper?"

"Stand about...there." He pointed a few paces in front of himself, and Pacifica followed. "A little back…" She did so. "Okay, stay there." He went back to reading.

Her face was suddenly offended. "Hey! Dipper Pines, I cannot believe—"

"No, I'm serious. You can help by standing there." He propped the book in one hand and held his fingers in the air like an antenna. "...I can feel something. Mabel?"

"Yeah."

"We need to get the ghost in here. Pacifica, say your name, like 'I'm Pacifica Northwest.'"

"Okay, uh...I'm Pacifica Northwest?"

"Louder, with feeling!"

"I'm Pacifica Northwest!"

"Good, keep shouting it. Should draw him here."

"I'm Pacif...draw him here?! You're using me as live bait!"

"You said you wanted to help. If he hates the family so much, then he'll come after you, and then we're free to—"

"NORTHWEST!"

An angry roar filled the room, and the fireplace blazed. The painting above it began to run red; the lumberjack was slowly tearing himself from the canvas, dripping blood everywhere.

"For generations have Northwests dined, but now at last revenge is MINE!" He burst out of the picture, still covered in shiny red. An axe was embedded in his skull, while another was borne in his hand. His hair burned blue as he floated above the ground. With a laugh he shot at Pacifica, who screamed in terror.

"Hold it…" Mabel reached out her hand; he ran into a solid wall of energy. The ghost yelled in shock.

"You, child!" He pointed at her. "Do not stand between me and the payback I so richly deserve! If would but know my tale, then surely you would see—"

"Let me guess," Dipper got his attention, "Northwests built a big fancy house a hundred and fifty years ago, they held a party, didn't invite you, and then you drowned in a mudslide? Yeah, she told us. And seriously, you need to get over it."

"Ignorant boy! Do not trifle with wills arcane, else the forest shall be your bane!"

"Great," Mabel snarked, "he's a poet too."

"And you girl! If you provoke the forest dark, then all your life will...become...dark."

"You just rhymed a word with itself—"

"SILENCE!" With a yell of rage he lifted his axe above his head. Mabel threw her arms to either side. The ghost froze. "Child, what are you…?"

Mabel began to slowly rise into the air, arms still outstretched. The amulet on her hairband burned brightly. She levitated and looked the lumberjack level in the eye. "Consider this your eviction notice. Dipper?"

"Pacifica," he said, "get me a silver mirror."

"NO!" The lumberjack screamed. His hands crackled with energy, and a wind whipped around the room. It felt like when Dipper had exorcised the ghosts at the Dusk 2 Dawn, except far more violent. Items were sent scattering across the floor, crawling up the walls, the animal heads chanted and spun on the stands. "You shall all burn!"

"Pacifica, go!" Dipper waved her out of the room. Her hair flew in her face, but she ran to get the mirror.

"You think you can defeat me? I'm a spirit of vengeance!"

"Oh yeah?" Mabel's voice sounded clearly over the tumult. Despite the cyclone that raged around her, her hair and dress stayed strangely calm"Well I'm Mabel Pines, and I say that you're going down. Right Dipper?" He nodded.

"Hahaha! You'll never banish me, not before I—"

"Banish you?" Dipper interrupted. "Who said anything about that?" He grinned when he saw the lumberjack's confused expression. "Why do you think we're getting a mirror? We want to KEEP you, like a trophy, or potentially something useful…"

"What? I would never do anything for you—"

"But it's not up to you, is it Mabel?"

"I'm afraid not," she smiled. With a wave of her hand a gag suddenly tied itself around the ghost's mouth. "We can't have you destroying the Northwests...see, we were already promised that gig ourselves." The lumberjack tried to speak, but his words were silenced.

"Oh, sorry, didn't catch that…" Dipper finally found what he was looking for in the journal. "But I'm just going to presume that that was you saying you're happy for us, and that you're willing to do whatever we ask. Trust me, I'm assuming that for your sake more than ours."

The ghost struggled angrily, but when Mabel gestured with her hand his limbs were lashed to his sides with fire.

"Now, while we're waiting for Pacifica to get back…" Dipper grasped his amulet in his fingers, letting the power overwhelm him again, "...what was it you were wondering Mabel? If ghosts feel pain? Here's our chance to find out."

The amulet shivered beneath his fingers, and his mind began to blur. Dipper didn't remember much from there — a blue glow filled his eyes, all he could recall were the screams of the ghost and a burning pleasure within him, the joy of having this being in his grasp. The next thing he could recall clearly, they were banishing the ghost into the mirror, making the room go quiet.

They got a curt thanks from Pacifica's parents. True to her word, she managed to convince them to let the twins stay the night, and they bade Soos farewell before going to bed. Far from falling asleep though, they laid there and waited.

Once the party had died, they dared to sneak out.

* * *

Dipper felt along the wall, with Mabel behind him. "Should be here somewhere…"

"Hope Bill's right about this."

"Hey, he's supposed to know everything. And look, worst case scenario, we get to have a little fun."

They turned the corner and found themselves in a long dark room. At the end of it, lit by a single light, was a safe. They approached it together.

"Shall I do the honors?"

"Go ahead," Mabel crossed her arms and watched.

Dipper closed his eyes and tried to see the inside of the safe. The tumblers in the lock...play with them, press them in and out, just right…

The lights came on.

Both twins whirled around to see Mr. Northwest striding towards them. "What is the meaning of this?!" he demanded. His wife and Pacifica followed him. "What are you two doing?"

"Just, uh, looking for the bathroom?" Dipper covered lamely.

"I invite you into my home, to one of the most prestigious events in the world, and this is how you repay me? Pacifica," he spoke without looking back at her, "you're never to speak to these two again. And as for you," he bent over to stare the twins in the eye, "I am calling the police. You can explain yourselves to them."

Dipper didn't feel the slightest bit of fear though. Instead, he cracked a grin.

"Before you do, Preston," Mr. Northwest seemed taken aback, "let me ask you something: how did you come in here?"

"What are you talking about? Through the door!"

"And before the door?"

"Down the hallway. Boy, I know my own manor!"

"Do you?" Dipper felt his smirk widen. "Then where are we?"

"Why, we're in…" Confusion began to spread across his face. "This is clearly the…"

"Let me help your memory. We got rid of your ghost, then we went to your little get-together, and then we all headed to bed. Mabel and I got up though...you did not."

"What are you talking about? I'm right here!"

"Then tell me where here is."

Preston was getting flustered; at the same time, Dipper felt elated to be toying with him like this.

"Mabel? Care to have _these_ honors?"

"Preston Northwest," she stepped up beside Dipper and took his hand, "welcome to your mindscape: a mental construction of your subconscious. Right now, you are fast asleep."

"And as for these two," Dipper pointed at Pacifica and Priscilla, "nothing more than your own images of them. You, Mabel, and I are the only 'real' people here now."

It was clear that Preston knew that he had lost control of the situation, but he still tried to lecture the two of them. "I don't know what you're talking about, or what you're trying to do, but I'm not going to have the two of you messing with my mind."

"Alright, fair enough. Then open the safe for us."

"...why?"

"Inside that safe are your most important and valuable secrets." Dipper crossed his arms. "We can break in if we want, but it'll be easier if you just do it for us. Hand them over and we'll leave."

"And let me guess...once we wake up, I can look forward to blackmail? No dice, Pines."

Dipper looked at his sister. They shared the same devious smile. "Truth be told Preston…"

He closed his eyes.

"...I was hoping you would say that."

He opened his eyes again. Mabel's irises had changed from brown to a bright shining blue, and he must have had them too judging from the horrified expression on Preston's face.

"I say we do the honors together this time."

"Agreed…" Mabel had never sounded so fierce.

The chandelier overhead exploded into a thousand shards. Behind them the safe suddenly swung open and barfed out a psychedelic nightmare that splattered over everything. The entire mansion trembled and moaned.

"What's going on?!" Preston screamed.

Mabel was looking at her nails. "Hm? Oh, just a little redecorating." She snapped her fingers, and the fake Pacifica and Priscilla morphed into hideous six-legged chimeras. Another snap, and the windows imploded, the glass freezing in midair.

"Ah!" He clutched at his head, feeling the assault on his mind. "Alright, I'm sorry! I'll let you into the safe!"

"Oh, it's too late for that now." Dipper pointed into the air, and the entire room began to catch on fire. Mabel swiped her hand and made an entire wall explode out, revealing a maelstrom of black chaos that screamed an empty howl.

Preston screamed in agony as the twins' attack continued. He dropped to his knees, clutching his temples and leaning back. "Please, stop! Stop it!"

"But why?" Dipper came up to him and gently lifted Preston's chin to look up at him. The room warped around them into impossible shapes, with fire dancing on every inch, the contrived reality melting. "We haven't even started…"

A half-hour later, the twins had retreated back into their room. When Preston awoke the next morning, he opened his eyes — that was the only response his family could get out of him.


	18. Quiet Days

_I apologize for my disappearance, I had a bit of a crisis the past couple weeks, but I'll be returning to my weekly posting now._

* * *

CALAMITY BEFALLS NORTHWESTS

The headline ran in the afternoon edition of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Across the front page was splashed a picture of Preston supported by two butlers; he could not stand on his own. He was unable to speak, and he didn't even react to anyone, even though his vitals indicated he was wide awake. Local doctors were baffled, and there was talk of airlifting him to Portland. The article continued on to discussions with the family, but Mabel wasn't interested in hearing about that.

She folded the paper as Dipper locked the door to their room, pulled out the journal, and recited the summoning chant. Moments later the room had faded to grayscale as Bill floated in front of them.

"We did it," Mabel held out the paper to let him see.

"Pfft, I already knew that! Took a little field trip, and boy did you two shatter his psyche. Couldn't have done it better myself!" He tipped his hat. "And I saw you took care of our little angry friend?"

Dipper jabbed his thumb at the closet. "Got him locked in the mirror."

"Man you two really pull your own weight. I wish Tesla had the same guts as you..." Bill crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling. If he had a head, Mabel guessed he'd be shaking it. "If I could show you to the guys back home...but that'll all be in good time!"

"Actually, about that…" Mabel watched Bill fix his eye on her. "We were curious about something. In the mansion, we saw a tapestry."

"Oh yeah! That little portrait of me, how'd you like it? I feel like they captured my essence, even with what little color you fleshbags can see."

"It was...interesting. But it got us thinking, you never really told us what your plans were?"

"World domination! Pretty sure I made that clear, kid."

"Okay, but...why?" she asked. "And what are you planning to do with it?"

"You know I haven't really given it that much thought. And neither should you two, it's not really any of your business."

"None of our business?" Dipper stepped forward and glared up at him. "If we're going out of our way to help you, we deserve to know what you're trying to do."

"Hey," Bill jabbed his finger at him, "you can't back out of the deal now. Besides, you got nothin' to worry about. I said you'll get a good place when I take over, and you'll get a good place. That's all you need to know, and I run on a strict need-to-know basis."

Neither could think of how to respond to that. Sensing their apprehension, Bill continued.

"Now come on, don't get sour. Here," he snapped his fingers and a pair of soda cans materialized in midair, snapping open on their own. "Interdimensional cola! Tastes like every flavor at once."

Mabel stared at it suspiciously. Dipper took his can and inspected the surface closely.

"It's the mindscape, it's not gonna poison you. Go on!"

Mabel finally grasped the can and gave it a sip. The sudden rush of flavor took her by surprise...yet somehow, it was all balanced perfectly.

"Eh, eh?" Bill prodded her for a response.

"Dipper, try it!" Mabel took another chug, more enthusiastic this time.

"I knew you two would like it." The triangle put his hands behind his head. "Too bad it's only your perception, it's not real. But it _could_ be real, and so much more, if we could have the chance. Think about it: everything from the rules of traffic to the laws of nature, erased. Think about what could happen, what you could do!"

"And you promise we'll have a piece of that power?" Dipper eyed Bill.

"You two get me into this dimension," he rested his hands on his sides, "and you'll be using planets as pool balls."

Mabel gulped as she listened to him talk. Part of her felt afraid to continue; at the same time, they'd already crippled a man, so there was no real way to turn back. Besides, another part of her wanted to press forward, seize the future being dangled in front of them, and that part of her mind was growing.

"Okay, good progress report." Bill began to float away. "Everything is falling into place. You two have a break, I'll let you know the next time I need a job done. Have fun manipulating the masses, and bless you!"

With a flash Bill disappeared, and the twins woke to find their room colored again.

"Huh," Dipper scratched his head, "what do you think he meant by 'bless yo— ya— YACHOO!"

He promptly sneezed into his sleeve. In his parallel dimension, Mabel was sure Bill was laughing.

* * *

Days passed, business as usual. The Mystery Shack kept humming along in business. The twins kept Gideon alive with scraps of bacon and bread that they pilfered from the kitchen, and Mabel had Grenda and Candy over a couple more times. On the fourth day after Preston Northwest's bizarre breakdown, Dipper was napping upstairs while Mabel manned the cashier in the gift shop.

"Here you go!" Mabel handed a deep blue Mystery Twins pennant to Sheriff Blubs. His arms were already full with their merchandise, and a wide grin covered his face.

"Aw, aren't you the most adorable thing! You and your brother make life worth livin'!"

"Oh, we just try our best to entertain you all." She chuckled. "Have a good day Sheriff! And don't forget, our next performance is tonight."

"How could I forget? Durland!" He shouted as he walked out the door. "Look what I got you!" Mabel rolled her eyes and returned to the line of customers waiting to purchase their souvenirs.

Four more customers went by, and as Mabel finished with the fifth one she saw Soos approaching the register.

"Heya hambone," he gave a smile. "Pretty busy today, huh?"

"Yeah," she returned the smile as she counted out some change. Soos grabbed the broom leaning on the wall behind her and began to sweep. Suddenly he paused.

"Hey, what's the time?"

"Hm? Oh, it's...2:03."

"Sweet! I get my sixty-second lunch break!"

He went over to the vending machine on the wall, inserted a dollar, and got a bag of Chipackerz. As soon as he had them in his hands he tore the bag open and began stuffing them into his mouth. Mabel watched in mild horror as the mess went everywhere.

"Ey," he called with his cheeks full, "'ou wan' aythin?"

"Uh, no. I'll get food later." With a shudder she resumed her duties. "What can I help you with?"

"Well, you can help me learn your phone number."

Mabel blinked in surprise to see a boy leaning across the counter from her. He looked like he'd copied his clothes from an outdated boy band magazine, complete with black jacket and jeans. He propped his chin on his hand and gave her a grin through his sunglasses. She glanced around. "Um…"

"Sorry, do I come on too strong?" He chuckled and lowered his glasses, staring at her over the top of them. "Name's Vincent, and it's Mabel, right?"

"Yeah. Do you mind, I'm trying to work here?" She motioned for the next customer to come forward — yet she left a little smile in her voice. She had a feeling she knew where he was trying to go.

"Listen, Mabel," he moved over to the side. "I read in the paper the other week about you and Gideon breaking up. And well, I've been keeping an eye on you for a while, and you seem like an interesting girl. Whaddaya say you, me, Greasy's Diner, 7:30 tonight?"

"Hm, I dunno. Here you go," she handed the change back to the customer before turning back to Vincent. "Like you said, I'm just getting over a breakup, you know?"

"I know, but this is the perfect opportunity to rebound! Besides, Gideon's a punk anyways. What you need is a real man, someone who'll treat you right." He clicked his tongue and jabbed his thumb at himself.

"And let me guess, you'll treat me right."

"What can I say? I'm a special catch."

"Know what?" Mabel grinned. "7:30, Greasy's Diner. See you there!"

"Yes!" He pumped his fist. "Wait 'til I tell everyone I'm dating the magic girl!"

"Hold on, dating?" Before Mabel could correct him, he ran out the door, pulling out his smartphone. She watched after him for a moment, before shrugging and turning back. Let him have his illusion...

"Whoa," Soos came up to her again, sweeping along all the Chipackers he had dropped. "What was that guy's problem?"

"He thought that he was calling the shots," Mabel mused. "That's his problem."

"Haha, right!" Soos nodded. "I...don't get it."

"Don't worry, I got it under control."

"Alright, but listen," Soos put on his best determined face, "if that guy gives you more trouble than you can handle, talk to me and Stan, okay?"

"I will," she assured him. With that she addressed the customers again. Soon the shop began to quiet down; an hour went by, and the quiet was cut short by the door slamming open.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The sound of Grenda's and Candy's screams made everyone in the store cower in alarm.

"Mabel!" Candy dashed up to the counter first. "Is it true? You're dating Vincent?"

"I mean, we're going out for dinner," Mabel shrugged again. "I don't know if you'd call that dating…"

"HE INVITED YOU TO DINNER?!" Grenda screeched again in excitement. "He's the cutest boy in school! Way to go Mabel!"

They both began going on and on about Vincent and his history of girlfriends, which Mabel only lent half an ear to. Instead she found herself distracted by Dipper, who was poking his head into the shop. He waved for her to come, then disappeared again.

"Yeah, you know what," Mabel managed to cut off her friends. "I'm gonna go upstairs and start getting ready, picking out clothes and all? Listen, I'll let you guys know how it goes!"

"Uh, yeah!" Candy and Grenda kept twittering among themselves about their friend's romantic fortune while Mabel waved at Soos.

"Hey, can you take over for me? I need a little break."

"Sure thing!" Soos slid behind the counter. "Take as long as yah need."

With that, Mabel was free to run upstairs. She found Dipper pacing the floor.

"Hey bro, what's going on?"

"Bill came to me," the news made her heart quicken. "He says there's someone who might know too much. We need to make sure he doesn't, and we need to make sure of it tonight."

"Um...any chance we can make it after nine or so?"

"Why?"

"Someone has a date, and that someone is me." She tossed her head back dramatically.

"Mabel, come on, this is important. We can't go early, we have our show, and city curfew's after nine. And yes, I looked it up."

Mabel sighed. "Alright, I guess I have no choice." She paused. "So who exactly are we going to be interrogating?"

* * *

Vincent walked home, hands jammed into his pockets, fuming. He'd waited fifteen minutes for Mabel before giving up. He had NEVER been stood up before. Who did that girl think she was? Just because she was some stage actor, she thought she could turn her back on him? He deserved better than that!

The streetlamps had come on, the sky rapidly darkening above him. With a snarl he kicked at a pebble. It bounced along the ground, fell into the street, and disappeared down a storm drain. He would show her what it meant to ignore him, the next time he saw her he would—

Vincent paused. The next time he met her would be...right now. He could see her down the street, crossing the pavement with her brother beside her. They were still dressed in their stupid costumes, a couple of circus freaks. They ended up walking along until they reached the junkyard...and then they entered.

"Really?" He growled to himself. "Turned me down to be with your brother? To visit a dump?" He followed along the fence until he came to the entrance, just in time to see them disappearing into a crude hut made of sheet metal and wood.

Curious, he crept forward more. He could singing inside: "Yippidee doo, cleaning out my ears with a toothbrush!" It was Old Man McGucket, the local kook. This is what Mabel gave him up for? He was about to burst in and tell her off when he heard Dipper's voice:

"Hello, Fiddleford."

Vincent froze. Dipper didn't sound like himself. From what he'd seen of Dipper around town, the kid was pretty quiet, but this voice...it dripped with a frightening cockiness. He stopped outside the door and listened.

"Huh, whassat?" McGucket came again. "Visitors! Heya kids! Wanna try summa my new concoction? It's guaranteed to remove warts an' scabs an' eyebrows—"

There was a sudden crash of a body against metal, and Vincent jumped.

"AAAAH!" McGUcket screamed, this time from further away. "Wha-what jus' happened?"

"Fiddleford," Mabel now, "we're here on very important business for a friend."

Mabel sounded different too. Vincent began to sneak his way inside the hut, trembling a little now. When he had spoken to her she had been so sweet and charming, but now she sounded greedy, domineering…

"Tell us, what do you know of Bill?"

"Who?"

There was another clash, pans skittering over the floor and metal crashing upon stone and dirt. More yells from the old man. Vincent took another deep breath and stepped further inside, peering around the corner to see the scene. The twins had their backs to him, facing McGucket, who was currently lying on top of a pile of trash. A few empty cans were still rolling across the floor. From his angle Vincent could see Mabel's amulet shining brilliantly blue, and her amulet and Dipper's provided the only light in the room.

"Tell us what you know about Bill Cipher," Dipper crossed his arms and stared down at McGucket.

"I'm tellin' ya kids, I don't know anythin' about this guy! Honest!"

"Really?" Mabel took her cape in her hand "He did say you'd recognize this…" She swished her cape around so that the one-eyed triangle on the back was visible. As soon as his eyes rested on it, McGucket began to yell again.

"Ah! AAH! The one-eyed beast! Yroo! Xrksvi! Girzmtov!"

"Just what I thought. Hmph," Mabel snapped her fingers, and suddenly a dozen pieces of metal flew into the air. Vincent began to feel weak-kneed as the weapons surrounded McGucket, angling down to point at him.

"Tell us what you know," Dipper repeated. "And Mabel?"

"Let me guess? Take care of the little rat?"

"Could you?"

Vincent felt his stomach recoil as Dipper and Mabel both turned to face him, and if he could have screamed he would. Their eyes, instead of brown, were burning as blue as their amulets. An animal fear rippled inside of him.

He ran.

Vincent sprinted out of the junkyard. Didn't matter where to. He just needed to escape. The twins, those eyes, they were hardly human. Vincent fumbled his phone from his pocket as he dashed down the block. "Come on, come on…" he dialed 911 on the keypad. "Police! Please, someone's being attacked! I'm at—"

A pair of hands grabbed him from behind. His phone fell and smashed on the concrete; the police had no way to find him.

When Dipper and Mabel came searching for Vincent, they didn't find him either.

* * *

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	19. Cornered

Dipper hardly slept that night. He kept imagining sirens outside, boots coming up the stairs to find them. If Vincent went to the police…

He should have known this would happen. They had gotten cocky, and now their oversight was going to land them in hot water. And despite their power, Dipper still felt like battling an entire police department would not only blow their cover, but also get them in even more trouble; what if state troopers came next? They still couldn't control their strongest magic (Dipper didn't even want to touch the zombie spell yet), and their telekinesis only had so much potential.

For the first time in a long time, he genuinely worried about their future. Dipper reached out onto his nightstand, took the amulet, and held it close to his heart. It was the only comfort he had right now, his only strength, his only protection. The idea that it wasn't enough terrified him.

For most of the night he lay there, staring at the ceiling, or facing the wall, or facing Mabel. Snooze only came in short bursts, and then it was dreamless. When the sun finally began to lighten the sky, Dipper felt a sense of impending relief. Any moment, he could get up and—

Mabel gasped awake. Dipper jolted as she sat up. She looked around quickly.

"What's wrong?!" He swung his legs over, ready to get up. His sister kept sitting there, glancing around the room. Her breathing was still heavy, but slowing.

"It...it was a bad dream." She shook her head. "Just a bad dream. But...we need to find Vincent."

Dipper understood at once what she'd been dreaming of. "Do you know where he lives?"

"No, we literally just met yesterday." Mabel got out of bed. She took Journal 3 off the bookshelf and looked inside. "Do you remember anything that could help us out?"

"Spells to tell you where someone lives, no." Dipper tried to remember. "Creatures that are good trackers, or any all-knowing beings—ones that won't demand to be paid," he added.

"Percepshrooms!" Mabel held up the journal to show the page. "It'll make us smart!"

"Even if we're smart, though, that doesn't mean we'll know things we don't already."

"Oh yeah," she stared at the drawings and words again. "Well, maybe it'll help us come up with a better idea at least."

"Alright, let's…" Dipper took a deep breath. "Let's think about this for a moment. Vincent saw us last night, and ran off. It makes sense he'd tell the police, or tell an adult who'd tell the police. In that case, police come to get us, right?"

"Yeah. But then, why haven't we seen any?"

"See, that's what I'm wondering too. Maybe they didn't believe him?"

"Or maybe he was too scared?"

"Yeah." Dipper nodded. "Okay, we need to be prepared. Worst case scenario, the police come to talk to us and search around. We can play off the journals as fantasy, but if they find Gideon, we'll be—" He suddenly paused. "Can kids get arrested?"

Mabel shrugged in response.

"Okay, but anyways, we get arrested. That's it, end of the line!" He was pacing back and forth now. "We have to make sure that we stay perfectly focused, no more screw-ups. Gotta stay low."

"We can't just do nothing though!"

"Mabel, we don't have a choice! Do you want to go to jail?"

"No, listen! We go to the Northwests, and we lay out our cards. If we can get them to help us, then we'll be in the clear."

"You think it's a good idea to use them so soon?"

"If we have to," Mabel headed towards the closet. "I think they're at the festival today, the one Pacifica paid for? Candy and Grenda told me that she's been a top sponsor for years, and she brings her own trailer to have front-row seats. We stop by and deliver the message. After that, we stay quiet."

Dipper mulled it over. It would be smart to have their back-up plan ready to go in case they needed it. "Okay, we gotta be prepared for any case...is there a place you can hide Gideon?"

"You read my mind, bro." She opened the closet and pulled out Gideon, shaking him awake. "Lil Gideon here showed me some interesting hiding places out in the woods, and we can keep him out there until the coast is clear."

"Good, I'll get our message written up." He watched Mabel wrestle the case off of her pillow and use it to hide Gideon from view. Then she went to the restroom to change. Meanwhile, Dipper grabbed a piece of paper from his notebook. Using the journal to write on he jotted down:

 _Northwest Family,_

 _If you do not listen to this letter, Preston Northwest will never be cured. If you go to the police, Preston Northwest will not wake up the next time he goes to sleep. If you do what we say, we will restore him to his old self completely._

 _Our plans may soon hit a roadblock. If they do, you will provide us whatever support we ask. If we ask you for money, you will give it. If we ask you to hire anyone, you will do it. If we ask you for manpower, you will do it. Expect another letter or a phone call soon._

 _The Mystery Twins_

* * *

Mabel went off to hide Gideon. Dipper descended the stairs about ten minutes later to find his sister still gone, and Stan barricading the front door with an old chest. He felt his heart jump.

"Um…" He grimaced. "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?"

"They're BACK!" Stan barked. "I heard the sound of banjos coming a mile away. Quick, get your sister and hide up in your room!"

"Banjos?" Dipper felt confusion mix into his panic. Stan began to pile boxes on top of the chest.

"Don't you hear them out there? Singing 'Kumbaya', wearing sandals with jeans, eating vegan jerky. Vegan jerky, Dipper, it's unnatural!"

"What are you talking about?"

"The hippies!" Dipper took a deep breath as his fear turned into both annoyance and amusement. "Every year they show up for the Woodstick Festival, pulling up in their minibuses and wanting to use the bathroom for free…" Stan lifted a blind with one finger, squinting out the window. "That's how it starts with those freeloaders. You let them onto your property for one second without paying rent, and before you know it they've tied flowers in your hair and replaced your fine meats with tofu!"

"Um…actually, speaking of the Woodstick Festival, I kinda have to go there and deliver something?"

"What?! No, we gotta lock down in here, kid! Now you and Mabel hide up in your room, and—"

"Mabel's not here. She went out to the woods, I don't know when she'll be back."

"Augh!" Stan clapped his hand to his forehead, throwing his fez askew. "Okay, go out and look for her, and bring her back. And quickly! I'm barring the back door in fifteen minutes."

Dipper watched as he turned back around. "Grunkle Stan...something's wrong, isn't it? And I don't mean the hippies."

Stan set down the table he was trying to carry. He looked at Dipper, and the hard cunning lines in his face seemed to soften. "Just...go get your sister. I have something very important I need to tell you two. It's, uh...well, I'll tell you when you get back."

"What is—"

"I said go find your sister!" Stan jabbed his finger out the back door; Dipper recoiled at the stern command. He stood there for a moment, then ran outside.

He headed straight for the Woodstick Festival.

* * *

Dipper could hear the music from three blocks away. Magnified words that he couldn't understand washed around him, and the beat of bass made the air pulse for minutes at a time. He followed the road to the fairgrounds as car after truck after bus passed him. Sure enough, half of the vehicles he saw were filled with what he'd label "hippies". Dipper watched the endless caravan roll in, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the envelope. On it was a single name: Northwests. He just had to go in, drop off the message, and then he'd go find Mabel to bring her home, if she wasn't there already.

Dipper was just thinking about the Shack, and what had Stan so worried, when he heard Wendy's voice racing towards him. "Dipper!"

He whirled around to see her leaning out the window of a beat-up blue van with a big red "V" spray-painted on the side, waving at him. She had a bright blue top, a yellow kerchief around her neck, and a colorful headband on her crown.

"Come on, man, pull over!" She yelled at the driver. The van pulled over about fifty feet in front of Dipper, and he jogged to catch up to it. "Hey, Dip, you comin' to the Woodstick Festival?"

"Yeah, actually!" He grinned as she opened the door and scooted over to the middle, letting him clamber into the passenger seat. "Just for a moment though, Stan's waiting—"

He cut off when he saw who was driving. Drumming his half-gloved fingers on the steering wheel, giving him a sidelong glance, was Robbie. Dipper made eye contact with him for a moment while Wendy responded.

"Oh, don't tell me Stan's making you work today! Not when the biggest music event of the year is going on?"

"Not exactly," Dipper tore his eyes from Robbie's dark gaze and looked at Wendy's smile, making his spirits lift again. "I think he just wants to do something with us?"

"Hm, what an old codger."

"Hey, he's not bad!" Dipper blurted out.

"I know, I know," she laughed. "He's not a bad guy deep down, but come on, he still watches those boring black-and-white movies. Not really his fault though, I guess it's just an old people thing."

"Hey Wendy," Robbie cut in suddenly. "What time are the Handlebar Bros playing again?"

"Oh, it's gonna be…" she flipped out her phone. "Oh, ten minutes! Hey, Dipper, you should come! The Love God will be on afterwards."

Robbie interrupted again, "Hold on, I thought we were doing this as a thing, just us!"

"Ugh, come on man," Wendy rolled her eyes in disgust. Dipper watched the whole exchange carefully. "Just chill alright? We do plenty of stuff together, it's okay if we have someone else along!"

"Hrm, fine." He gripped the steering wheel more tightly. "Just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend is all…"

The words fell on Dipper like a bomb. "Wait, you two are...a thing?"

"Oh yeah," she smiled at him. "We got together a couple weeks ago."

Dipper racked his memory. He had seen Robbie more around the Shack lately, but with everything going on with Bill, and with exploring the journal, he'd taken that time away from hanging out with people besides his sister. "That's…" he forced it out, "that's really great."

"Thanks man."

Robbie said nothing. They were rounding a curve, and the trees revealed a long fence surrounding a sea of tents. The tents spilled out beyond the enclosure and towards the forest. In the middle of it all was a large stage with the word "WOODSTICK" along its crossover. People filled the space, swarming here and there like ants.

"So, uh," Dipper began to feel like he was intruding, which he both hated and bitterly relished in, "I guess when we get to the festival, I'll go head out and do what I need to do."

"Hey man, no, don't listen to Robbie," Dipper could see the offended look on his face, and felt satisfied. "I'm totally serious, come hang out with us! Haven't really gotten to see you much, you know?"

"Well," Dipper scratched the back of his head. The idea of spending time with Wendy really tempted him… "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive! I always love hanging out with friends!"

"Yeah, heh," the word echoed in his mind. _Friends..._ "I mean, I...I don't know, I just need to go in and out and get home."

"Yeah Wendy," Robbie added. "He has to listen to his grampa, be a good kid."

Dipper's fingers twitched for his amulet, and he felt a flash of blue in his vision. _THE IDIOT LET HIM SUFFER stay low stay low TEAR OUT HIS TONGUE gotta stay cool, gotta stay cool, gotta…_

"Ow!" Dipper jumped at Robbie's voice; Wendy had just elbowed him.

"Quit it," she hissed. "Dipper, if you want to come with us, the offer's open. But you do what you need to do, alright?"

"Y-yeah." He clenched his fingers tightly, trying to assert control over them. The blue had vanished from his vision, yet he could still feel it burning in his eyes. He took a deep breath, and turned to find Wendy staring at him with concern. Robbie was too busy sulking to notice.

"Is everything okay?" Wendy whispered. "With…?" She nodded at his amulet.

"Yeah," he swallowed. "Everything's under control."

"You sure?"

Before he could promise, the van jolted to a stop. "We're here," Robbie announced. "Everyone out."

"I'm fine," Dipper reassured her. "Trust me. Anyways, I'll try to stop by later," he said as he opened his door. "If I can't though, have fun!"

"Hey, you don't forget to have fun too," Wendy winked. "Seeya!"

"Seeya!" Dipper grinned as he walked away, and he glanced back to watch them grow smaller with perspective. Then he looked back again. The third time he looked back though, he caught Robbie's eye and received a furious glance. That prompted him to just keep moving forward, reaching the guard at the gate. "Excuse me? I was wondering where I could find the Northwests?"

"Pacifica has her trailer right around the corner," he pointed. "The family isn't accepting personal visits now, if you have to say something I can deliver it."

"Actually, I have a letter," Dipper patted his pocket. "And I'd really like to deliver it myself."

"Sorry, kid, the family said no visitors."

"What about for close friends?" Dipper hazarded. "And besides, I'm not gonna cause any trouble."

The guard looked uneasy, and glanced around. Finally he reached into his pocket. "Can you just do one thing for me?"

"It depends?"

He pulled out an old business card and a pen. "Can you autograph this for me?"

Dipper stared at it for a moment. "Oh...sure!" He rolled his eyes with a smirk and signed his name.

"You and your sister are the best," he tipped his hat. "Tell Pacifica I said 'hi'!"

"Sure thing!" Dipper gave him a thumbs up as he walked away. Now he just had to find the right trailer. So many of the performers had brought their own, and on top of the RVs and cars that swamped the area he didn't know how he would find Pacifica's — until he actually set eyes on it. With its bright rainbow colors acting as a background for too many cartoon characters and cute animals to count, there was no one else it could have belonged to. He climbed up the steps to the door and knocked. "Hello?"

He waited. No one answered. He knocked again.

"It's Dipper? Dipper Pines!"

He heard footsteps inside. A lock slid out and the door opened, revealing Pacifica dressed in tie-dye bellbottom pants and a matching shirt.

"What do _you_ want?"

Hurt lined her eyes. Dipper felt strange, he never expected he'd be in the position of being a heartbreaker. "I have this for you and your family."

He held out the letter, which she glared at with distaste.

"Do you...want me to leave it somewhere?"

Without a word she snatched it from his hands.

"Okay, what's your problem?"

"You know what it is," she muttered. Pacifica turned and tossed the letter onto a nearby table, then turned back to Dipper. She still hadn't let him through the door. "What did you do?"

"Hm?"

"My dad! What did you and your sister do to him?!"

Dipper looked into her eyes, which demanded answers. Instead he grinned. "Read the letter. It'll tell you everything." He turned to leave.

"Is this just a game to you?!" Pacifica shouted after him. "Where you just ruin people's lives for fun? Dipper Pines, turn around and LOOK AT ME!"

He stopped. Then he looked back at her.

"My own dad doesn't even recognize me. Mom and I, we don't know what we're gonna do, we don't know what we even can do for him. Nobody knows what's going on, except for me. You and sister did something to him." She stood there, tears brimming in her eyes. "He's not perfect, just like the rest of my family. I don't like a lot of things he does, but he's still my dad. And I tried talking to Grenda and Candy, but they won't call me back, and..." she visibly choked out her words, "why would you do this to us?"

Dipper stared back at her. The look in her eyes, the fear coming from losing a parent...no, no they had to go through with this. They needed this piece to fall into place. But the way that Pacifica stared at him, bringing back memories of Mabel's tear-soaked eyes, the pain that he himself had felt…

"Read the letter," he mechanically repeated. Then he turned and walked away, leaving her at the door.

Dipper shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked along, hunching his shoulders as a nasty squirming erupted in his stomach. No, don't think about Pacifica, think about something, anything else.

Wendy. There, that gave him plenty to consider. Wendy was dating Robbie...just the thought made his heart heavy. He had to do something, but he and Mabel had agreed to lay low. They couldn't hatch a plan, even one that didn't use magic. Wendy was out of his reach, possibly forever...he suddenly fantasized himself at their wedding, Robbie and Wendy dancing and having the time of their lives while he, Dipper, lingered in eternal squalor and darkness, Pacifica hovering nearby to rain guilt on him. The thought infuriated him, and despite the moratorium on action he couldn't help but scheme in his head.

Between the shame lingering in his gut and the angered frenzy in his head, he almost didn't notice the flash of red that darted off to the side.

Dipper jerked his head around. It had vanished behind an RV, which he began to approach curiously. "Hello?" He rounded the corner.

Nothing.

He took a couple more steps forward and looked about. His heart began to beat faster. Something was wrong...the sound of the concert seemed far away...Dipper turned again, and for sure saw a figure darting past him.

"Hey!" He shouted, running after them. "Get back here!" He rounded the back of another RV. And there he was; Dipper had the figure cornered.

Two RVs parked side by side formed a corridor, and their awnings cast it into shade. The back of a van made a third wall. In front of this wall stood the figure. Dipper could hardly see it in the shadow, but he could just make out the outline of a hooded man. The figure kept its head bowed, and its hands were clasped and hidden in its sleeves.

"What are you doing?" Dipper demanded. "Why are you following me?"

The figure said and did nothing.

"Talk to me," Dipper raised his hand to his amulet, "or I'll make you tal—"

The world disappeared into blackness as a bag swallowed his head.

"Aah!" In his panic he reached to grab at the bag; swift hands seized him and tore the amulet from his neck. "No!" He kicked, swung, flailed all he could, but the manpower surrounding him was too much. He felt himself lifted and carried forward, the van doors opening, as he heard a sinister voice:

"It is unseen…"


	20. The Blind Eye

"Hmm hmmhmmmm…" Mabel hummed to herself as she went into the woods, carrying Gideon's jar under her arm. "It's a beautiful day out, isn't it?"

Gideon only answered with small yells as he bounced around.

"Just what I was thinking!" There was a spring in her step as she counted the trees. "That's three, four, five, and then fifty paces to the left. Sorry, fifty Gideon paces. Whoops!" She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I can't talk today! I meant fifty old-size Gideon paces."

The distant commotion of the Woodstick Festival barely filtered through the thick sea of trunks. Instead the song of summer cicadas reached her ears as she kept track of her steps. "Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty three…"

"Mabel, please!" How cute, he was going to beg again. "Please, look at me."

"Shh, you'll make me lose count! Now where was I?"

"I've been listening to you and your brother talk, I know what you're trying to do!"

"Good. Then you know we can't have any distractions. Here we go!" She ran her fingertips over the metal door placed in the wood and pulled it open. "Five-star resort right here."

"No, listen! Can't you see that Bill's playing you? He's going to trick you!"

"Of course he is! Everybody tries to, Gideon." Her sweet, mocking tone began to grow bitter. "Everyone ends up abandoning us, or humiliating us, or sending demons after us." She let her last words linger to let their teeth sink in. "So we're just going to do what we've always done: outsmart him."

"Darn it, just listen!" He banged his fists on the glass, surprising Mabel with his sudden burst. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into! Haven't you seen the lights?"

"The...what lights?"

"In the nighttime! The floorboards?"

Mabel stared at him. "I think I knocked you around a little too much…" She set him inside the trunk.

"Something big is happening in the Mystery Shack," Gideon insisted. "Every time you two are out, or when you're sleeping, I see it: the glow from the basement. You think you're playing Bill? You can't even see all the pieces on the board!"

Mabel took a second before she forced a laugh. "Don't go into stand-up comedy, Gideon." She grabbed the door of the compartment.

"Stop!" Gideon shouted. "Look at me, look at me Mabel! I made a deal with Bill and look what he left me with!"

Mabel did look at him. Then she slammed the door shut, locking Gideon inside before skulking away again, the bounce gone from her step. He was just spouting nonsense to get out of trouble. That was all. There wasn't some big secret in the Mystery Shack.

But she remembered dreams, when she had been on the edge of waking, where she would see a flash of glow streaming up from her bed, always vanishing as soon as she looked at it. Were they just dreams? Bad memories? I mean, if there was something going on, that would mean that Grunkle Stan…

"No." She refused to believe it. Mabel imagined taking pictures of Gideon, taking his words, shredding them, burning them, refusing to remember their existence. "No, Stan, he...he's different. He came for us, he chose us, he wouldn't—"

 _Lie?_

 _Betray us?_

"He wouldn't do that," she concluded. "Right?"

Mabel was so caught up in her debate against herself, that she didn't notice the hands reach out of the bushes…

Before she could scream, her headband was snatched away. Fingers clapped over her eyes.

Then she screamed.

Then she was bound and gagged before being taken away.

* * *

"Mmm! Mmmmph!" Mabel struggled against her bonds. She was sitting in the backseat of some car. A hand rested on either shoulder, one large and one small. None of her captors said a word on the way, except for a single instance. Mabel felt the car rise into the air, jumping off a ramp it felt like, until it crashed back on the ground.

"Hurry," came a deep voice from beside her, the side with the large hand. It was the only voice she heard the whole time she was in the car. Finally the vehicle stopped, and she was half-led, half-carried from her seat. They went one way, then turned, then went downstairs. The whole time she fought and wriggled, but it was all futile.

Her amulet.

She needed it.

She was useless without it. She was powerless. _I need it I need it now where is it I'll die without it please let me have it back anything at all I just need the amulet please where is the amulet I need it I'm so weak I need the amulet where is it_

Then she heard the chanting.

" _Annuit coeptis, novus ordo seclorum. Annuit coeptis, novus ordo seclorum…"_

The monotone voices surrounded her, echoing and bouncing off the walls and floor and ceiling. She was set against a stone pillar, and she felt new ropes being tied around her. At the same time, she felt a warm body by her side. Mabel tilted her head and clunked her temple against the figure's forehead. A muffled shout came from it. She recognized Dipper's voice.

"Mmm!"

"Mmmm!"

Suddenly a sinister British voice spoke: "Have you brought the subjects of today's special meeting?"

"We have," a chorus answered. Mabel's bag was ripped off, and she blinked to adjust her eyes.

They were in a room entirely enclosed by stone slabs. Torches in the walls burned to provide a raging light, and flickering shadows licked piles of glass tubes with names on them. Right at the twins' feet sat a screen, with a device attached that looked like it held a large battery. In the back of the room was a statue of a robed man, arms outstretched. Before the statue was a huddled group of people, also robed. Their scarlet outfits bore a bright red symbol upon their hoods, an eye marked with an "X". Their faces were invisible, but their voices continued:

" _Annuit coeptis, novus ordo seclorum…"_

'Who are you?!' Mabel screamed in her head. All she could say was "Mmmm!"

" _Annuit coeptis, novus ordo seclorum…"_ They stepped closer.

The twins looked at each other. Mabel could see the panic in Dipper's eyes as their captors closed in.

" _Annuit coeptis, novus ordo seclorum…"_ Now they split into two groups, and stepped away from each other. A single figure approached the twins. He spoke in the same sinister voice they had heard before:

"Remove their gags."

Cautious fingers pulled the cloth from her mouth. "Plah, plah!" She spat the loose threads out. "What's going on here?! Who are you?"

"Me?" The man stepped forward. "I am the phantom whose work is unpraised and unknown." He lowered his hood; tattoos covered his skull like a phrenology model, and an "X" blazed over his right eye. "I am Blind Ivan, leader of the Society of the Blind Eye!"

At his words he raised his hands, and all the members present wiped their hand across their face in a single salute.

"And 'what's going on here' is the rescue of Gravity Falls." He extended his right hand to two of the people present, without looking at them. "Bring forth the tubes." They nodded and hurried away.

"Listen to me," Dipper spat. "When we get our amulets back, you're going to regret—"

"You mean these amulets?" He extended his left hand, and one of the figures held up the twins' headband and tie.

Mabel stared at the stones, so close to their reach and yet so far away…

"Do you have any idea who we are?!" Dipper kept going. She tried to elbow him to be quiet.

"Oh, we have an excellent idea of who you are," Ivan leered over them. "You are Dipper Pines, and you are Mabel Pines. Together you're known as the Mystery Twins, the stage name you use at your great-uncle Stanford's tourist attraction. But of course that is merely a facade you wear. Yes, you do far more than silly parlor tricks, isn't that right?"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," Mabel tried to offer. Just as she spoke however, the two men returned with a series of cartridges.

"Let the memories be reseen," Ivan said.

" _Out of the forgotten, the shadows of the past._ " the other members chanted. " _Out of the forgotten, the shadows of the past._ "

A cartridge was inserted into the screen in front of the twins. It flickered, and suddenly they saw Wendy's friend Nate, strapped into a chair.

"Tell us Nate," Ivan's voice came over the crackle of the screen's ancient speaker, "what is it you have seen?"

"I-I was in the old abandoned mart after dark — getting my friends out of there, of course! I wasn't causing trouble or breaking stuff or anything! And well, we got captured by ghosts, but this twelve-year-old kid saved us with some magic book."

"Who was this child?"

"I dunno, Wendy's friend I think…"

The cartridge was removed, and another inserted.

"Tell us, James Snakes, what is it you have seen?"

"Twins!" Jimmy Snakes was blubbering like an idiot. "Evil twins! Demon children! Scary eyes! Evil!"

Again the cartridge was replaced. The screen came into focus…

"Vincent!" Mabel gasped.

The boy was trembling in a chair. "Vincent, tell us what you have seen…"

"Okay, so, I was walking past the junkyard, and I saw the Pines twins, Mabel and Dipper? And they were beating up Old Man McGucket, but with magic! And they saw me, and their eyes were glowing blue, like they were demons!"

"There there, Vincent," they heard the sound of a dial turning, an electric coil firing up, "We've been hunting these twins for a long time now…"

Suddenly a blast of light hit Vincent's face. The boy screeched. Mabel stared in shock as the light finally died away, leaving Vincent with an emotionless expression."

"Vincent, can you tell us what you know of the Pines twins?"

In a flat voice he responded, "My mind is clear, thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye."

" _It is unseen…_ " came a chorus, and finally the memory ended.

The canister was removed, and Ivan addressed them again. "For years, the Society's sacred mission has been to protect the people of Gravity Falls from the malice that haunts these woods. We give them respite from the horrors that crawl out from under the stones. And now our order faces a new threat, one which we will deal with promptly." He nodded to another figure, who disappeared away.

"A threat? We're not a threat!" Mabel yelled. "We're just trying to put on a magic show!" She felt a very real fear growing in her; they'd finally crossed a line.

"And we need our amulets for that," Dipper added, "give them back!"

Ivan ignored them. "No more will you torment Gravity Falls. No more will you wreak terror onto the town's inhabitants." The figure returned, carrying what looked like a strange gun. Ivan accepted it and began fiddling with a dial on the back — the same clicking that they heard in Vincent's memory. "And once we find your great-uncle Stanford, the Pines family will be able to rejoin the rest of the peaceful townsfolk. Amulets, ghosts, books, it will all be distant whispers that you know nothing of. The supernatural will no longer exist for you."

"No!" Dipper yelled, "No, you don't understand!"

Mabel struggled against her bonds harder than ever. If they lost their access to the supernatural, they would lose everything. All that they'd built up here, it'd be gone, especially the amulets, which they needed, she needed, they made life worth living…

"Hand over the amulets," she demanded as Ivan closed in with the memory gun, "or you'll be sorry!"

Ivan just chuckled. "Oh, you two are adorable."

"Adorable?!" Mabel growled. "I'll show you adorable!" She racked her brains for something, anything to help them. A spell, what spell, she thought of some good ones but what were the incantations… " _Corpus levitas!"_

She struggled to remember the next line.

" _Diablo dominus!"_

"Mabel!" Dipper screamed. "What are you doing, don't use that-"

" _Vici Vicium!"_

There was silence for a second. Then the walls began to shake. The Society began to stumble about.

"Mabel! We said we weren't going to use that until we knew for certain we could handle it!"

"Oh, we can handle it," she said to both him and Ivan. "We can handle it just fine…"

The ground suddenly tore open, and green light spilled up from below. The stones in the walls began to press in, and muffled groans came from all sides.

"Mr. Blind Ivan," Mabel said, "meet Mr. Zombie Brain."

A mottled green hand clawed its way out of the fissure, and pulled a half-rotted body along with it. The fleshy skull howled as it heaved itself out of the ground. All around them the stones in the walls fell in. More zombies began to flood the room.

"What have you done?!" Dipper screamed. "Mabel, are you crazy? There's no way we can take them on like this!"

"Of course there isn't! But, if we could kindly have our amulets back and be let free," Mabel stared at Ivan, "then we can take care of this pest control situation."

Ivan glared at them in disbelief. "Never, in all the days of the society have we had to deal with such impudent little — ah, let go!" He snatched his robe from the outstretched fingers of a zombie.

"Well, if we can't have our amulets, then I guess we're ALL going to die," Mabel hummed. "Everyone in the town too. Boy, what a way to go."

"Alright FINE!" Ivan snatched the amulets from the man holding them. "Take them, now get rid of these creatures before they AAAH!" Just as he tossed the amulets, one of the zombies pounced from behind, pinning him down. He struggled against its grip. The snapping teeth aimed for his neck…

The amulets landed just before the twins.

"Come on, come on!" Dipper tried to reach for his tie, but they were still bound to the pillar. "No, no, come on!"

Mabel eyed her headband just a foot in front of her. She tried to drag it back towards her with her heel. A glimmer of worry burned in her heart now. Zombies were pouring into the space. The Society tried to fight back with whatever they could grab. Their efforts were failing though. If she couldn't reach the amulet in time…

"Aah!" Dipper screamed, and she looked over at him. A zombie caressed his head, like a human feeling a very large apple, looking for the perfect place to bite in. "MABEL!"

With a pang of horror she kicked the amulet towards her. She could just barely brush it with her nails, just a bit more over…

The amulet met her fingers.

"Raah!" She clenched her fist, and with a yell of both rage and panic she burned the ropes that held them. Then she punched the zombie in the head, knocking its skull off its body.

"Whoo…" Dipper sighed, "thanks Mabel…"

"Hey, that's what sisters are for, saving you from the undead." She snatched his amulet and handed it to him. "Let's clean up…"

Together, they made short work of the undead. Between Dipper's magical flames, and Mabel's skill with flying blades, they mowed down all of the zombies infesting the society's base. Mabel barely watched as she did though; she just felt relieved to have the amulet back, to enjoy its power again, and she was going to cut down anyone who tried to take it from her again.

Finally, she tore off the last zombie's head, while Dipper burned the body. The walls and floor were still gaping with holes, but the undead had ceased to flow in.

Ivan slowly got up again from where he was sitting. "You...you children...look at what you nearly did to the town…"

"Can it, Tattoo Man," Dipper said. He and Mabel together lifted their hands; the man was pressed against the wall. Then Mabel lifted the memory gun with a wave of her finger.

"Let's see…" she turned the dial: " 'Pines Twins', that sound good?"

Dipper shook his head. "More."

"How about… 'Society of the Blind Eye'?"

"More."

"Alright then... 'Everything'?"

"Perfect."

"Wait, no no!" Ivan yelled. "You don't know what you're doing, you don't realize—"

That was the last thing he said before his personality, his knowledge, his language, his very being got erased from existence. The rest of the Society stared, and though their faces were hidden Mabel assumed they could only be horrified.

"Anyone else?" Dipper asked. Everyone took a step back. He took the gun and smashed it against the floor. "You wanna forget things so badly? Forget this ever happened."

Mabel nodded. "Well said Dipper. Let's go."

They stalked up the staircase, no one daring to get in their way. It spat them into the museum; from there they made their way through town, back home.

"Good thinking back there," Dipper said. "Kinda crazy and insane...but I guess that's how you survive here."

"Yeah, thanks." Mabel nodded, but her mind was on other matters. "Hey Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"...they were saying they were looking for Grunkle Stan. Do you think they got him?"

"I doubt it, I mean, we would have seen him, right?" He fell quiet. "Although…"

"What?"

"He was acting kind of funny this morning. Said he had to talk to us about something, and he was barricading the door. He said from hippies, but I think there was—"

Dipper was cut off as their feet left the ground. With a yell they both lifted into the air about a yard...then they fell back down.

"Ow!" Mabel groaned. "What was that?"

"I dunno…" Dipper rubbed his head. "I think we should get home, now."

They began walking more quickly, passing into the woods and along the winding road to the Shack. No birdsong greeted them this time, and only their crunching footsteps followed them.

"What do you think is going on?" Dipper finally ventured.

"Don't worry," Mabel said. "We just started and fought off a mini zombie apocalypse. I'm sure whatever it is, we can handle...it…"

She had just pushed aside a branch to reveal the Shack. It was swarming with government agents.


	21. Stan's Secret

Dipper crouched in the bushes next to his sister. A small squad of men equipped with full combat gear jogged past in formation, and Dipper instinctively pushed himself closer to the ground. He struggled to even begin to ask the questions crowding his mind. Finally he settled on one, and picked out the proper four words.

"Did we do this?"

This is why the police had taken so long, they'd gone straight to the government and now they were going to be seized and locked up. The agents were probably poring over permanent records, picking out unusual trends and strange coincidences, lining up testimonies…

He felt an elbow nudge him. "Look!" Mabel whispered. She pointed to a low black car pulling up the Shack. A man with a suit and bushy mustache stepped out, and began to come their way.

"Any sign of the kids?" He called to one of the soldiers.

"No sir, Mr. Powers." He saluted. "No trace of them."

"They might be at the festival, I'll tell CPS to look for them there." Powers looked up at the sky. "But it's going to be sunset soon, we need to find them."

"The old man hasn't said anything?"

"Nothing. If he's done anything with those twins, we could have a hostage situation on our…"

Dipper stopped listening; he was confused again, which had been happening far too often today. Child Protective Services? Hostage situation? They weren't here to arrest him and his sister...they were here for Stan. But why?

"...admit," Powers' voice caught his attention again, "he really put a lot of effort into this coverup. We went looking through paperwork, and he began trying to adopt those kids almost as soon as they were orphaned. Who would suspect the family man, right? Those twins were the perfect facade."

"What are you going to tell them?"

"The truth, corporal. They'll be sent to a foster home and found a suitable place to live. As soon as we find them, that is."

"Yessir."

"I'm going to go back and keep grilling Stanford for information. You let me know as soon as you find those kids, and keep searching for that device."

"Yessir." The soldier gave a salute, and Powers left. Meanwhile Dipper and Mabel sat in the bushes, their stomachs filled with horror.

Mabel had to try three times to say anything. "Stan just...he adopted us to...use us? As a cover-up?"

"No, no he...he wouldn't, it doesn't make sense." Dipper tried to reason through it. "Look, what does he even have to cover up? Sure the Mystery Shack is one big fraud, but he barely even hides it. These guys, they...they don't know what they're talking about. They got the wrong guy."

Mabel seemed to think about something. "Dip...when I was taking Gideon out to the forest, he said he saw lights coming through the floorboards at night. Like something was operating. And the agent mentioned a device...you don't think Stan has something bad, do you?"

"No, no. It's just...something for the museum!" Yeah, that was it. "Probably built some kind of fake UFO, and the government thought it was the real thing. I don't know." He looked at the Mystery Shack. "If we can get in there, then we can find the device and prove that Stan's not dangerous."

"Yeah, just one problem." She pointed at the troops patrolling the house.

Dipper peered at them. There were so many… "Feeling up to a fight?"

"We just fought off a zombie invasion," Mabel reminded him, "it took a lot out of me. I don't know about you, but I can't take on this many people."

Dipper looked again at the passing troops. A group of three went by their bush. He grasped his amulet and began to concentrate on the middle soldier. _Stop...stop...stop…_

The man suddenly paused in his tracks. The two others went forward a few feet before they turned back.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing, I…" He shook his head. "I don't know why I did that." As he kept going forward, Dipper turned to Mabel.

"I got a plan. Hold on," he laid his hand on her shoulder and whispered, " _Corpus dispareo._ "

As he watched, Mabel began to slowly fade away, and the leaves behind her became visible. "Oooh...I see what you're getting at!"

"Here, take my hand." He felt Mabel's fingers lace with his own. Then he placed his other hand on his chest. " _Corpus dispareo._ " He looked down and watched his body disappear into nothingness. Some part of his brain began screaming in protest, panicked about the sudden dissociation. Dipper still felt Mabel's hand in his own. He tried his best to focus on that. "Come on…"

They left the bushes. Dipper held on tight to Mabel. If they lost each other, there was no way they could find each other again. He led the way to the door, which had a couple of troopers standing guard. They just had to get through them, and he had a feeling he could get them to move out of the way.

Suddenly Mabel jerked him to the side. He barely stifled a gasp as his body was abruptly snatched out of the path of another car. In his concentration he hadn't heard it coming.

Dipper patted Mabel's hand as a non-verbal thank you, and looked both ways before coming up to the door of the Shack. The two guards stood in silence, holding assault rifles. Dipper gulped before he began to focus on the two of them. He summoned images of food, hunger, water, thirst, rest, relaxation…

"Hey," one of them spoke, "didn't Trigger have those fudge pops confiscated for evidence?"

"Yeah," the other chuckled. "He should be enjoying them in the van. Let's get some replacements."

Dipper could feel Mabel's grip tighten; she was outraged over the popsicle theft. But that didn't matter now. The guards were leaving, and the twins managed to slip into the door and get to the staircase. Dipper couldn't see his feet though...

"Ack!" He stubbed his toe and involuntarily let out a cry. With a pang of terror he looked down the stairs. One of the troops had heard and looked up. Dipper didn't dare to move. He didn't even breathe. The soldier kept staring...but seeing no one, he went back to looking around the room. From there, Dipper was very careful as he went up the staircase. A couple of times he felt Mabel step on the back of his shoes, but he bit his lip to keep from exclaiming in discomfort.

Once they reached the second floor, they proceeded to Stan's room. No one was in front of the door, and as they went inside they again found no agents. The space had a low ceiling, with a wood stove in one corner and a bed in the other. Over the bed sat a red and purple window, and the setting sun gave an eerie light through it. Crumpled cans and socks littered the floor.

" _Corpus aperio,_ " Dipper made them both visible again. "Come on, let's find whatever it was Stan was working on."

They split up and began to look around the room. Dipper felt it was so weird, going around their great-uncle's space. It had always been strictly off-limits, one of the only hard rules of the house. He found an old vacuum labeled "Stan-Vac", and began to look closer. Maybe Stan had been trying to make it look like some time-travel device from the future? Nothing seemed particularly off about it though…

"Ew," Mabel closed a trunk that sat by the door.

"What?"

"Uh…" she shook her head. "You don't wanna see, trust me Dipper."

"Here, let's...let's think about what Grunkle Stan would do."

"Grunkle Stan would be smart enough," Mabel thought aloud, "to put something important in a good hiding place."

DIpper looked around again. His eyes paused on the painting of Stan in a red puffy jacket, sitting in a chair, petting the head of a large dog. Something about it seemed out of place, the way it jutted from the wall. He crossed the floor and felt at the frame. With a tug, it swung open.

"Bingo!"

A cardboard box full of items marked "Contraband" sat behind the painting. Dipper pulled it out and they began going through it.

"Handcuffs…" he named off, "slingshot…"

"Action figure…" Mabel mirrored him. "Playing cards...ooh, glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth, save those for later."

"Mabel, you don't even know who had those in their mouth."

"That's what soap and water are for!"

Dipper rolled his eyes and went back to the box. Nothing in here seemed particularly incriminating. Something did catch his eye though.

"Stan's office key?" He held it up.

"He always keeps this with him," Mabel said. "Why would he hide it, unless…"

They shared the same understanding, and began to creep downstairs. Dipper repeated the spell, letting them sneak to the office. He held the key in his fist. Felt out the distance with an invisible hand. Carefully unlocked the door. The two of them passed inside, all without a second glance from any of the troops. Once Dipper waived the spell again they began to search that room as well.

"'The Nuances of Fraud'," Dipper read the titles off of the bookshelf. "'How to Ruin Jokes', 'Daddy Issues'."

"Sounds like Stan has an interesting library in here," Mabel quipped as she pulled a cardboard box out from under the desk. "He could run his own self-help service out of here, he'd be about as useful as...the real…"

Her voice died away. Dipper looked up at her. "Mabel, what's wrong?"

She stared open-mouthed into the box she had found. "Dipper…"

He went over to the box and peered inside. "What on earth…"

A jumble of passports, identification cards and driver's licenses filled the box. With trembling hands, Mabel pulled one out and read it. "It's Stan, but he's...Stetson Pinefield?" Sure enough they recognized Stan's face, but much younger and with thinner eyebrows. The visa stamps named Seattle, London, some place written in Chinese characters...

Dipper grabbed two cards on his own. "Hal Forrester?" An Idaho ID showing Stan with a mole on the right side of his chin. "Andrew 8-Ball Alcatraz?" A Mississippi ID showing Stan with a scar on his left temple, a goatee, and a gold chain around his neck. "There's only reason why someone needs fake IDs…"

Then he grabbed a newspaper clipping, folded up on the bottom of the box. He opened it.

Three words blared at him, and his stomach turned over. His guts felt like they had fallen out of his body.

"M-Mabel?" he squeaked, and he showed it to her. The realization hit her too, and contorted her face into terror. She read the headline.

"'Stan Pines Dead.'"

She read the article aloud, the text accompanied by a photograph of a car crashed upon the stones of a mountainside. The windows were shattered, the body crumpled.

"'Foul Play Suspected in Pines' Death. The flaming wreckage of a wrecked car was found in a ditch 4 miles from Highway 618 at 6 AM Monday morning. The cut brakes and odd location of the car suggest that this was no accident. Says a rookie cop, "Mighty suspicious. Mighty suspicious."'"

"No, no no," Dipper couldn't accept this, yet the reality stared them in the face. Their great-uncle was supposed to be dead, yet he was here with them. Or rather, someone pretending to be him… "There...there has to be something in here to have this make sense."

He rummaged around in the box and grabbed another piece of paper. It looked like a code written onto a grid.

"Mabel, look. I haven't seen a code like this before, have you?"

She studied it closely. "Wait, yes, the vending machine! See, the letters and numbers along there!"

Breathless, they got ready to leave the office. Just before Dipper cloaked them again, though, they heard a voice shouting outside.

"Stanford escaped, he's at large! We need to sweep the town, move move move!"

Boots pounded outside, wheels tore up the ground, and soon quiet settled again. The twins cracked the door open and stared into the room flooded with the crimson of a dying sunset. They saw no one, except a single man trying to climb in through the window.

"Soos!" Mabel called. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh! Mr. Pines gave me a special mission," he walked over to the vending machine and stood squarely in front of it, chest puffed out proudly. "He told me to watch out for you, and to guard this vending machine! And whaddaya know, I can do both at the same time. This is easy!"

"Soos," Mabel came up to him. "Listen to me: Stan's hiding something."

"Wha...what?"

"I don't know what's going on, but the answer is on the other side of that machine. You need to let us through."

"I, uh…" Soos rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno...I promised Mr. Pines I would protect this machine with my life."

"Soos." Dipper came forward and grasped his amulet. "Let us through. Now."

"I'm sorry! I can't let you, Mr. Pines said—"

Without warning Soos was shoved aside. He sprawled out on the floor, turned around and looked up at the twins. "What the...how'd you do that?" His eyes grew wide. "Are...are you guys really magic?"

"That doesn't matter right now!" Mabel answered as she punched in the code written on the paper. As she hit the last key, there was a whoosh of air. The machine swung back towards them.

"Whoa…" Dipper and Soos echoed each other.

The machine was hiding a staircase leading down to a basement. The twins began to head downstairs. Soos followed, and they didn't have the energy to send him away. The hallway was bare, and had no decoration.

"Look at this place…" Soos whispered. "I had no idea this was here all this time."

The staircase took them to an elevator, which they called. Apparently they were on the third level. Dipper pushed the "2" button, but it didn't work. So he pressed the "1" button, and the car began to descend.

The doors opened to a laboratory.

"What is all this?" Mabel asked aloud. Massive computer consoles lined the walls, dials and tapes and screens twitched and whirled and whined. Just ahead of them, a window that opened to a blinding light. Dipper looked at it, and somehow he understood…

"That's it." He pointed. "That's what the agents are looking for."

As they came closer to the window, they could see it opened into another room that was closed off by a sliding door. Just under the window was a desk, and on the desk was...

"Journal 1?!" Mabel shrieked.

Sure enough, a crimson book sat at the table, the pages open to a design similar to the other two journals. In fact, photocopies of those pages were taped right beside it, revealing a shape like an upside down triangle with a circle in the middle. That shape matched the glowing device just inside the room.

A lamp with a purple bulb was bent low over the book. Dipper checked the cover. "It is...it's Journal 1. Stan had it all this time!"

"What does that mean?" Soos said. "Did he write them?"

"I bet he STOLE them!" Mabel blurted. "I can't believe it, after all this time I thought we had finally found someone who actually cared about us, and they turned out to be a liar!"

"But...he always took you to do stuff, he took you guys bowling—"

"To show us off! To make himself look good! It was all a lie!"

"But I've known Mr. Pines for years, and he wouldn't hurt you guys like that."

"Would 'Mr. Pines'," she made air quotes, "have built this in his basement? He's a liar Soos, and he used me and Dipper! He used us!"

As Mabel ranted, Dipper stared at the lamp. "Hey guys, this is a black light." He reached out and turned it on. "Guys, look!"

Bright neon words suddenly flashed on the page.

"It must be invisible ink! Look, it says…'It must not fall into the wrong hands. If the clock ever reaches zero our universe is doomed! Total global destruction!'" A diagram of the Earth splitting in two completed the warning.

Dipper looked up. Bill said he'd known where the first journal was. Did he know about this, was this his plan? Was he about to destroy the whole world around them, stab them in the back? Fear clutched him as he looked even higher, up to a digital timer counting down.

Four minutes and thirty-seconds remained.

"Oh no…no no, it's a doomsday device!" Dipper frantically flipped through the journal in front of him. "There has to be something about shutting it down, somewhere in here...there!" He pointed to the page. "Three override keys, connected to a switch." He looked through the window. "There!"

The three of them dashed through the door, which slid open in front of them. They ran to a console, which had three keys inserted into the slots.

"Quick, take these!" All of them grabbed. "Turn, together!" All three of them clicked, and behind them came a tone. On a bar just before the portal, a cover had flipped open. A red button glowed in waiting.

"Alright, whoever you are," Mabel growled as she approached it. "This ends once and for all!" She lifted her hand, brought it down—

"DON'T PUSH THAT BUTTON!"

They all turned to see Grunkle Stan standing in the doorway, his chest heaving, his expression panicked. Mabel froze, her fingers just inches from the button.

"Mabel, please."

She took a deep breath, glaring at him. Dipper could tell though that her chest was tight, and she struggled to draw air steadily.

"Pumpkin...sweetheart, just step away."

"Don't call me that!" She screamed at him. "How could you?! After everything we've gone through, you lied to us! You don't care about us, you only wanted us so you could look good!"

"No, no! That's not it at all! Please, I know I lied, but if you just listen to me—"

"Give me one good reason to listen to you!" Dipper could see her shaking, heard her sniffle and watched her wipe her nose. "Give me any reason at all to trust you!"

"Look, I promise it'll all make sense, but I need the machine to stay on. I'm just trying to—" He was cut off by a beeping from his wrist. "Oh no, hold on!"

The light suddenly strengthened. Their feet all left the ground as gravity reversed itself. Dipper tried to grab onto something, anything to save himself. His amulet lifted up and hit him in the chin; his suit flapped around him as he tumbled through the air. Finally he spotted a wire. He grabbed a hold of it. Gravel flew from the floor and he felt it bounce off his body.

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted. Twisting around, he saw her holding onto a wooden beam on the other side of the room. Her hair flew wildly — she had lost her headband again. "You gotta hit the button!"

Dipper looked down at the cable he held on to. It led all the way to the button. He began to pull himself down.

"No, no, stop!" Dipper tried to shut out Stan's protests. "Dipper, please, wait! Stop!" Suddenly there was a thud. "Soos, what are you doing?!"

Dipper looked up long enough to see that Soos had tackled Stan in midair.

"Soos, you idiot, let me go! I gotta—" He was cut off by Mabel launching herself at the pile, making them spin.

"Dipper, hurry, push the button!"

"No, kid, you gotta trust me!"

"Stan," Dipper called out as he came closer to the button, one hand in front of the other, "or whoever you are, we saw everything in your office! We don't even know your real name, or if you're even our great-uncle! How are we supposed to trust you?"

"Listen to me, you remember earlier today, I wanted to tell you and Mabel something?"

Suddenly the portal flared again. A powerful wave swept over the room. Dipper felt it lash him around, but he kept his grip. Meanwhile Stan, Mabel, and Soos were blasted back against the stone wall. The force was so great that Stan dented a pipe he landed on. Dipper finally reached the button. He raised his fist—

"I just want to say that all my life," Dipper paused and looked up at Stan, "I've done some things I'm not proud of, done some things I've regretted. But I promise you, the one thing I would never turn my back on is this family! And that's what this portal is for!"

"Shut up!" Mabel screamed at him. "Dipper, shut it down! Don't listen to him!" He looked back at the screaming portal, rainbow colors dancing around a starfield. The walls and roof shivered, threatening to give way, the stones rising out of the floor. He felt the energy flowing around him. His hand lowered.

"Dipper please! Look at me! Can't you see that I'm telling the truth!?"

And Dipper looked at him. He looked at his old wrinkled face, twisted with longing, despair, remorse. He looked into his eyes...eyes so familiar...eyes full of fear...the same eyes that Mabel had worn three years ago. His breath stole away.

"Grunkle Stan…"

Dipper felt detached from his body as he released his grip.

"...I trust you."

Immediately he began to regret his decision. He floated up out of reach of the button, right in front of the portal, he heard Mabel screaming at him about being stupid, about how they were all going to die now.

There was a light.

A light so bright that it made the sun seem like a dying candle.

Dipper screeched as the air exploded around him. Lungs filled with fire. Every molecule in his body screamed. The universe howled around him.

He felt himself hit the floor.

"Augh!" Dipper landed on his side, and winced as he tried to get up. Slowly he cracked open his eyes.

The window behind had been shattered, steel and wood rained around them, and rocks peppered his head. The portal's frame had fallen askew, and in its center was a glowing shimmering blue.

Just before the blue died, a shadowy man emerged.

Dipper watched as the figure approached, its face hidden behind a scarf and goggles. He began to edge himself up into a sitting position as the man came close, and saw Journal 1, which had landed by the boy. He reached down for it.

Dipper yelped; the man had six fingers. He scooted back in shock. "Who—who are you?!"

Stan answered him. "It's the author of the journals…"

The man took off his goggles and scarf to reveal a face...just like Stan's.

"...my brother."

* * *

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	22. Portal's Aftermath

Dust choked the air. The air tasted sour and sharp with electricity. Dying blue illuminated the portal's final breath. And Stan's brother stood there, glaring grimly at the people in front of him.

"I can't believe it," Stan gasped. "After all these years, I finally got you back!" He walked forward, his arms wide, to greet the figure that stepped forward. "Brother!"

He promptly received a punch to the face.

"Ow! What was that for, you jerk?!"

The two of them began arguing, then grappling. Mabel didn't listen to them. Instead she scrambled amid the ruins of the room, finally uncovering her headband from the rubble. She turned around to see Dipper and Soos just standing there as Stan found himself pinned by his brother.

"That's ENOUGH!" she yelled. Mabel thrust her hand up, and yanked the two into the air. They both yelled in shock as they floated five feet above the ground.

"What the—" Stan's brother looked around. "Who are you?!"

"Mabel," Stan pointed at her, "and Dipper. They're Shermie's grandkids."

"Grandkids? I'm a…" he suddenly flailed out his arms to stay upright in the air. Despite his recent anger and surprise, he couldn't help but smile a bit. "I'm a great-uncle?"

"That's the way family trees work, Poindexter."

His brother didn't respond to the barbed comment. Instead he looked over. "And..you have someone from Rodentus Seven here?"

"That's Soos."

"And...you're the author of the journals?!" Dipper had apparently let his fascination overcome his anger. "We're RELATED to you?! I can't believe it, we've been using the journal all summer! And now you're here, and—"

"And we want answers!" Mabel put her hands on her hip. "Grunkle Stan, what's going on here?"

"Yes, I'd also like an explanation for all this myself, Stanley!"

The twins paused at his words. "Stanley?"

His brother looked over. "You didn't even tell them your real name?! What have you been doing?"

"Alright alright, just...everyone hold on. Mabel, would you let us down sweetie?"

She glared up at him, but finally set both on their feet.

"Okay, uh...I guess it's best to start at the beginning."

Stan then launched into a long explanation, joined by his brother. Mabel followed along as an entire history unfolded from their words. The two older twins talked about their life in New Jersey...how Stanley and Stanford had grown apart...the confrontation over the science fair project...Stanford's time at Backupsmore and then Gravity Falls, Stanley's time on the road...Stanley shoving his brother into the portal...Stanley inventing the Mystery Shack, changing his name…

"...and so I lied to everyone, the cops, my parents, even you kids." Stan shook his head. "All because I was trying to get my brother back."

Mabel struggled for words. She looked at Dipper; if anything had happened to him, especially by her doing, she felt she would do anything to get him back. And yet…

"You lied to us." She repeated that terrible truth. "You lied to us, Grunkle Stan...Stanley...whoever." Mabel stared up at him, trying to sift anger out of her hurt. "You should have just told us, we thought that...that you didn't care about us!"

"No, sweetie," Stan slowly came over and knelt in front of her. "I'm sorry about all this, I should have told you. I guess old habits die hard, eh?" He gave a weak chuckle.

Mabel looked away and shut her eyes. She couldn't even look at him, she wanted to forget he was even there.

"Um…" Stanford's voice made them both look up. He was taking a step back from Dipper, who crept close behind him.

"So…Great-Uncle Stanford" Dipper's cool composure split at the seams, "Do you think you could tell me more about your studies? Any creatures or spells or magic that you found around here, any weird things, aliens or monsters or—"

"Calm down, calm down!" He grinned. "You're an excitable young man if I ever saw one. But one thing at a time. First of all, call me Ford, okay? Second, Stanley," Ford became serious again, "Does ANYONE else know about this portal? Did the police catch onto you."

"No, the local authorities have no idea what's going on."

Ford relaxed a little bit. "Whew, thank goodness…"

"...but the Pentagon does."

"The WHAT?!"

As the two began arguing, Dipper and Mabel began to retreat to the elevator. Soos followed close behind. "Hey guys, I'm just gonna...head out of here…" He began to dash away and pulled out his cellphone. "Wendy, I got the most incredible story! Clear the next thirteen hours!"

The twins walked up to their room, not saying a word between each other. Mabel looked out the window for a moment. The government agents had disappeared, and hadn't returned...surely by now they knew where Stan was? She threw on top of the pile of pressures as they had escaped into their own room, a sanctuary. Dipper locked the door. Silence reigned for a few moments longer.

"Well today was exciting," he began.

"Exciting? EXCITING?!" Mabel couldn't believe him. "We got kidnapped, searched by the government, lied to by our uncle, and you just say it's exciting!"

"Mabel!" He seemed surprised at her outburst. "Mabel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that—"

"Here I thought we finally found someone we could trust!" She kicked the bedside post. Pain shot through her toe but she ignored it, trying to hide her limp. "Here I thought we finally found a parent that wasn't a complete idiot, that wouldn't hand us over, and then he goes and lies to us!"

She sunk onto her bed, her heart still burning. But the steam had been escaping, revealing something she didn't want to see or feel. Dipper's hand rested on her shoulder.

"Look, I was just as shocked as you were, and I also—"

"And YOU!" She swatted his hand away, jumped to her feet, and pointed at his chest. Dipper backed away in alarm. "You chose Stan over me! You trusted him more than me! I can't believe you! You…" She struggled for words, the last of her steam finally blowing away. "You...didn't..." She sat down once more and put her forehead in her hands. Mabel squeezed her eyes shut; they felt hot and wet.

"Mabel…" Dipper sat beside her, and rested his hand on her shoulder again. This time she allowed it. "Mabel, I'm sorry, but...you couldn't see what I saw. Stan's face, he looked so scared. It reminded me of you," he added. "He wasn't angry at being thwarted, he looked terrified that he would lose something, or someone."

Mabel nodded. "I was so scared too though. I thought that...that we were going to…" She shook her head. "And when I saw you floating up to that portal, for a second I thought you were going to go through it, and I would lose you…" She suddenly grabbed him in a hug, and let the burning tears fall. "I can't lose you Dipper."

She felt him return the hug. "Shhh, it's okay Mabel, it's okay…"

For a long time they stayed like that. Finally the river of anguish dried again, and Mabel pulled away, still sniffing a bit. Dipper offered her a tissue, which she accepted.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Did my eyeliner run?"

Dipper didn't answer at first. Then he grabbed a handful of more tissues. "You're gonna need these…"

"Hm," she managed to smirk as she accepted them.

"Anyways, I do have someone I'm mad at as well," he grabbed a piece of chalk and began to draw on the floor. "If you want to get cleaned up, I'll wait for you."

* * *

The theatrics cleared, revealing a plane of sheer black, and the triangle floated in front of them again. "Well! From what I saw, you guys have had a nice relaxing day!"

"Shut it Bill!" Dipper pointed. Mabel nodded in agreement. "Did you know about Stan's twin?"

"Of course I did! Just because I have one eye doesn't mean I see half as much."

"This wasn't part of the deal, Cipher," Mabel shouted. "Why didn't you tell us about the portal, or where the first journal was? Didn't think that would be helpful?"

"Now let's see," he put his hands on his sides as his eye rolled around in thought. "Stanley says, 'Hey kids, I've been lying to your face and pushed my brother through a portal,'", he perfectly mimicked Stan's voice in the dialogue, "and you guys respond, 'Oh we know that already!'" He mimicked their voices, but condescendingly higher. "You're right, that doesn't look suspicious at all!"

Neither twin responded. Mabel had to admit it was a fair point. "Okay, but we're supposed to be partners in this. If you want our help, you have to tell us everything that's going on."

"Oh geez, everything? Alright…" His eye suddenly span like a slot machine, pausing on little video clips. "Well, in St. Andrew's in Rome some kid is trying to steal his phone from his mom's purse...the security guard in the Eighth Federal Reserve vault's having a money bath...oh, Ronald Drumpf's having a shower—"

"AUGH!" Mabel covered her eyes with her hands. The triangle laughed again. "You know what we're talking about! No more games and secrets, alright?"

"Oh, I always admired your...what's that word, 'spunk'? Or am I a century too late? Oh well. Anyways, you're a real kicker." He floated over Mabel's head, leaning on his side, twirling her hair around his finger. She grabbed it away in disgust.

"Stop avoiding the subject!" Dipper stepped forward, drawing Bill's attention. "Tell us the truth!"

"Oh, the truth? Kid, you don't even want to open that can of worms! For starters, not only did I help fake the moon landing, the moon isn't even big enough to land on. All governments are scams, capitalism is a lie, and the real original Kay's Pizza is—."

"That's it," Mabel stepped forward. "If you can't be honest with us, then we're not letting you follow us around any more!" She grabbed her cape, imagined a knife into her hand, and slashed the triangle in the fabric. The design gave off a flash before falling inert.

"Hey, hey!" Bill finally became upset. "You made a deal kid! I keep an eye on you in exchange for no midnight visits, you shook!"

"Not anymore!" She took Dipper's cape. He watched her with surprise, but didn't move to stop her. Mabel sliced the symbol on his cape in two as well, breaking the periscope that the demon used to watch them.

"Don't you test me!" Bill floated ominously before her, reddening and sprouting fire in his palms. "If you turn your back on me now—"

"We're still going to help you!" Dipper quickly said. "We're still going to get you into our dimension. But we're doing it on our own terms, got it?"

Bill stared down at him angrily. Finally the flames vanished. "You're lucky that I'm counting on you right now. But know this: I'm not gonna forget about our little confrontation here. And if it happens again, I'm finding new help. Got it?"

Mabel nodded, and so did Dipper.

"Good." He nodded by dipping his top corner down a bit. "Get close to Sixer, and when the time is right I'll tell you what to do. Have a fun fall back home!" Bill snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash — in that same flash, Mabel found herself high in the sky, floating next to Dipper.

They both began to fall.

Mabel screamed as she plummeted through the air. Wind whipped at her hair. Grabbed at her clothes. Roared in her ears. Dipper tumbled beside her. She scrambled for her amulet. The cool stone felt smooth beneath her fingers. But it didn't work. They weren't slowing. Clouds thinned beneath them revealing the forest. Earth came rushing up. Mabel yelled in panic. Dipper shrieked beside her. Falling into a town. A clearing. A roof—

Mabel awoke with a gasp. She had been standing, and now collapsed onto the ground. Across from her, Dipper grabbed his bed in one hand, his chest with another, and heaved for breath. They stared at one another. Suddenly Mabel's hand flew to her amulet. She had to check—but sure enough, as she focused on the tissue box, she could easily float it into the air.

"Dipper, is your cape…?"

He checked, and sure enough the symbol there had disappeared.

"We're good," he said. He looked out at the darkness through the triangular window. "Listen, in the morning, do you wanna go for a walk? Maybe find some stuff for our experiments?"

"Yeah," she grinned. "We haven't done that in a while." Then she glanced around the room. "Better get this cleaned up…"

But as soon as he turned his back, she pulled off her headband and stared at the gem in it. It had been so terrifying to be without it, even in a dream. Without it she was nothing. And somehow she knew that although everyone around her could lie, this amulet would always be here for her, always on her side. She stroked its glass-like face fondly.

It took a few minutes for her to look up and see Dipper doing the same thing.


	23. Cleaning Up

_I apologize for my extended absence. I will be going back to weekly posts right away!_

* * *

The lizard scrambled up the tree trunk. Its chest heaved with rapid breaths. Big black eyes blinked around. They fixed on two creatures coming its way. Any closer and the lizard would run, flee —

Unfortunately for the lizard, it was just close enough for Dipper to snap his fingers and will it into the air. It squirmed and wriggled six feet off the ground, unable to understand why gravity had forsaken it. Dipper didn't even look at it as he dropped the writhing reptile into a floating jar. "Alright, anything else we missed?"

"Nah, I think we've got everything." Mabel scanned down the piece of paper she'd been writing on. "Keeping out Bill, got that covered. I'll look around the forest, you cozy up to Ford, and we'll see what we can find?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded. Out in the forest, they were free from all his little peepholes, and they could scheme in secret. "Whatever we figure out, we can keep it in back-up, just in case. But if he tries anything funny, Bill isn't gonna know what hit him."

"Yeah. It'll suck not getting more powers though." Mabel began counting her steps. "Just gotta figure out how to do it…" She stopped and pulled open the door. "Have a good night Gideon?"

Gideon stared at them through the fractured glass. The gravity anomalies had bounced him around, but although cracks stretched across the container, it had held. He apparently had nothing to say to them because he only yelped as Mabel picked him up again.

"Hey Lil' Giddy," she cooed. "Look what we found, some new friends!" Dipper levitated the lizard jar close to Gideon's. "And we're gonna go home and have some fun together."

"Want me to take him?" Dipper offered. "You can look around out here for anything useful, and I can start on my end."

"Sure! Trade ya!" She tossed Gideon into the air. He yelled as he arced, peaked fifteen feet above the ground, and plummeted. Just before the miniature kid hit the ground, Dipper snapped his fingers, freezing them both. "Nice catch!"

"I try," Dipper smiled. He handed over Journal 2, then gestured for his catches to follow along behind him. "Good luck!"

"Seeya!" Mabel trekked off into the woods as Dipper returned to the Mystery Shack. The forest mostly stood upright, but the gravity storm of the previous night had done its fair share of damage. Mighty conifers had been uprooted and prostrated against the ground. Several boulders were surrounded by cracks — the anomalies had plucked them into the air and then hurled them back down. The Mystery Shack itself barely stood on its own foundation, but carpenters worked hard to repair it. Of course, safety violations had never convinced Stan to close the Mystery Shack before, and nothing had changed: tourists came in with fistfuls of cash, and left with worthless trinkets. One thing was missing though… Stan himself, in his Mr. Mystery garb.

Something else was missing too, now that Dipper considered it. The agents had never returned. Surely they would have realized that Stan had returned to the Shack, but for some reason they had vanished. Dipper wasn't going to complain, but at the same time he preferred to know exactly where they were. His worries were shoved aside when someone called out.

"Look! It's one of the Mystery Twins!"

Dipper twirled his finger. A cloud of smoke obscured the jars' contents. "Hey, everyone," he casually greeted the tourists. He had this down to a script now, he knew what to say and how to say it. As he came in the door, he laughed off his fans. "Sorry, no peeking. It's our little secret here." Dipper cut through the giftshop, into the main house. As soon as he was out of sight of the crowds, he relaxed into a scowl. He floated Gideon and the lizards upstairs, and was just putting Gideon back into the closet, right beside the ghost's mirror prison, when he heard footsteps climbing up behind. As he swung the closet shut, the bedroom door slammed open.

"My brother's gone crazy!" Stan blurted out, his eyes in alarm. "Thirty years in that portal and he's gone insane!"

Before Dipper could ask what he meant, Ford's voice came from behind. "Stanley, I need to make sure you haven't come down with dimension sickness!" As he marched up behind his brother, he sounded like a doctor scolding an ornery child. "Now come back so I can complete my testing."

"You're not doing tests anywhere near where you were trying to reach!" He cupped his hand to whisper to Dipper. "If he pulls out that probe, make a run for it, kid."

"I can hear you Stanley, I'm right behind you."

"You'll never take me alive!" With a yell, Stan leapt through the triangular window. The glasswork shattered as he made a clean dive, barely able to fit.

"Hey, hey!" Ford came in and glared out the broken frame. "This is my house, thank you very much!"

"Then that means you're paying for it!" came the distant response. Ford sighed and pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose. On seeing him distressed, Dipper decided to make his opening move.

"So you grew up with that, huh?"

"My first twenty years of life were interesting, yes. I'm just surprised he was allowed to adopt." His gaze fell on the lizards in the jar. "I see you're a collector?"

"Yeah, me and Mabel both. We like to do different fun things with them."

"Heh, enjoy doing that before you get to college. You have to get ten forms signed before you can even hand out a survey." Ford reached into his pocket and pulled out a wooden tongue depressor and a flashlight. "You know, while I have you here, say 'ah'."

Dipper hesitated a moment before going "Ah?" Ford began examining the inside of his mouth.

"Have you experienced any nausea or dizziness since the portal incident?"

"Uh-uh."

"Have you experienced any memory lapses or difficulty thinking?"

"Uh-uh."

"Have you had visions of any other dimensions?"

"Uhhhh...uh-uh?"

Ford began to check his nostrils. "Alright, good, and…" He waved the light in front of Dipper's eyes. His brow began to furrow.

"What's wrong Great-Uncle Ford?"

He turned off the flashlight and scratched his chin. "Strange… how long have you and Mabel used those amulets?"

"These? About a month and a half, we found them after we moved here in June."

"Hmmm… would you mind me doing some studies on you and your sister?" Dipper must have made his trepidation obvious, because Ford immediately added, "I promise I won't use the probe."

"You'll have to ask Mabel yourself, but I'd be happy to help."

"Fantastic! I'll just need to set up my MRI again, I'll get the journal… which book did I write about the amulets again, I'll have to find it… but anyways, let's head downstairs and go get some supplies I need to repair—"

There was an inhuman screech from downstairs. The sound of tourists fleeing came through the walls, making Dipper and Ford flinch.

"What the heck?" Ford led the way as they ran to the gift shop. Several stands had been upended, and Wendy was chasing something behind them. Her teeth and brows were set in frustrated determination, and she wielded a broom over her head. As she came around the corner, Dipper saw what she was chasing: a small green octopus, leaving a trail of slime behind. It had only one eye, but when the broom bristles came down to whack it again, the eye opened into a mouth that screamed in fury.

"Stand back!" Ford threw his arm in front of Dipper. He also tried to stop Wendy, but she ignored him and continued her pursuit. Ford took a quick glance around. "Okay, I'm gonna take care of this here. Dipper, I need you to go into town and get me some aluminum, any aluminum you can find, go!" With that, he punched the code into the vending machine and dashed into his lab. Dipper waited for Wendy and the monster to pass by again. Then he sprinted across the gift shop and out the door.

* * *

Gravity Falls was a mess. As he came into town, Dipper saw cracks webbing through several buildings. The steeple of the local church had been torn off its base and crudely shoved back; it tilted dangerously to its side. A large logging truck had been tossed around, but a small bulldozer was tilting it back onto its wheels. Greasy's Diner had also been thrown askew. In fact, when Dipper came up to it, the entire cafe had been flipped upside down. Along the low blocky skyline, cranes and wrecking balls chugged about their work. As Dipper stared, he felt someone come up beside him.

"Hoo boy," Tyler chuckled, "that was some earthquake last night, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, really crazy. The Shack got torn up, but it's still in one piece at least."

"That's the spirit! My own house got completely destroyed, but I've been meaning to move anyways. Funny how things work out in the end." With that he moved down the sidewalk, way too chipper for a man witnessing the ruin of his town. Dipper stared after for a while.

" _Something is wrong with that guy."_ He scoffed in his head as he went another street down, finally arriving at a small hardware store.

"Well hey there!" The owner cheerfully greeted Dipper, leaning on the counter. He had a red cap, a short bushy mustache, and a green polo with two oil stains across his breast. "Didn't realize we'd be getting a local celebrity in here today, heheh. What can I do you for?"

"Um, I'm looking for aluminum? You know, foil, pots, that kind of thing?"

"We have some aluminum siding down Aisle 5. Let me know if you need any help."

"Thanks," Dipper followed his directions and found the corrugated sheets propped up against the wall. He picked up several of them, and he tried to balance them in one hand as he reached for more. As he did, he didn't notice them sliding from his grip. "Augh!"

The metal had sliced into his palm. A neat little cut began to trickle blood, like water flooding a trough. "You 'kay, kid?" The manager's voice came from the front

"Yeah, I'm fine." Dipper grasped his amulet with his uninjured hand, and focused on his wound. It was so easy now, the power flowed effortlessly and felt so good. The blood drained back into his hand, the wound closed, and there was a dark scab that finally flaked off. Within five seconds it was as if the metal had never touched his palm. With a breath of relief he waved his finger and floated the metal along behind him.

"Oh, now you're just showing off," the manager laughed. "Alright, that's seven sheets, which is going to be twenty-one dollars."

Before Dipper could pay though, a familiar voice came from one of the other aisles. "Hey! Do you have this paint in Rebellious Red or Brooding Soul Black?" Dipper whirled around and saw Robbie with a can of spray paint. As soon as they made eye contact, the teen scowled.

"Sorry, those are all the colors we have today. We'll get more tomorrow if you'd like to come back."

"Whatever, I'll just take the Angsty Orange." He cut in front of Dipper and set the can on the counter with a _clink_.

Dipper cleared his throat. "Ahem…"

"Hm?" Robbie turned to glare at him under his black hair. "You sound sick kid. Go home so Grandpa can tuck you in and read you a bedtime story."

"He's our Grunkle," Dipper felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. "And I was here before you."

"Um," the manager nervously laughed, "he's actually right young man, but I won't take long ringing him up."

"Ugh, fine," Robbie sighed as he came around behind Dipper. His hands were stuck in his hoodie pocket, and as he slouched his eyes glared right at the back of Dipper's head, he could feel it. A deep brooding came from behind.

"Anyways, like I was saying young man, twenty-one dollars."

He handed over the money, and the manager began to ring him up. Suddenly he heard a snickering drawl behind him. "Sure was a shame you didn't come to Woodstick yesterday, Wendy and I had a blast."

Dipper felt his spine shiver. Burning blue began to cloud the corners of his eyes.

 _Shut up shut up HOW DARE HE TALK LIKE THAT_

"Yeah, we got caught just outside the earthquake. She got scared and I protected her."

His fingers gripped the amulet. It began to grow hot beneath his fingertips. So many possibilities…

"Okay, so maybe _she_ was the one who protected _me_ , but you get the idea."

"Robbie…" Dipper struggled to keep his voice calm. "Can you do everyone a favor and learn to shut your mouth?"

"Oh, what, am I getting to you?" The teen's casual attitude melted away. Dipper turned to face Robbie, was about to gesture—

"Hey! I will not have roughhousing in my store!"

"Then we'll take this out to the streets," Robbie shoved past Dipper, slammed a five dollar bill on the counter, and stalked to the door, "unless you're scared, Squirt."

Dipper left his aluminum siding on the counter, following Robbie outside. He felt anger boiling inside him, and his fingers began to tighten around the amulet again. Dipper got so lost in his thoughts, though, that he didn't see Robbie waiting there to grab him by his shirt collar. He yelped as he was lifted off the ground, his shirt untucking from his pants.

"Don't think I haven't seen you looking at my girl," Robbie sneered. "Well get it through your—"

"'Scuse me," Toby the town reporter came up, "do either of you have anything to say about the earthquake yesterday?"

"SHOVE OFF, DETERMINED!" Robbie shook his fist, making the small man run away screaming flatly. Then he turned back to Dipper. "As I was saying, Wendy's MINE. You better start realizing that, or we're gonna have more problems, got it?" With that he dropped Dipper back on the ground; he barely managed to land on his feet. The teen stormed to his van parked five cars up, with Dipper staring after.

With a scowl, he swiped his hand through the air. In the heart of Robbie's van, the brake lines snapped in two. Dipper turned on his heel, got his metal sheets from inside, and began to storm home. A furious tirade stormed in his head. He was so bitter that only one thing caught his attention.

As he passed by an alleyway, Dipper could have sworn he saw Toby Determined out of the corner of his eye. And around him, hoods of red…

When he turned to see, they were gone.


	24. Moving Into Check

Tires screamed as the black van drifted across the pavement. Glass shattered. Metal buckled. People ran and stared at the teen in the driver's seat, trying to pull him free.

"Unnnnh…"

Robbie clung to consciousness. The sudden stop had thrown him over the steering wheel, hands on the dashboard. His mind had catapulted past panic and into tired resignation. Worried voices, distant sirens, the pain throbbing deep in his body, all struggled to keep in focus.

Bill pulled again. The teenager fell asleep.

"What the…" Robbie got to his feet within the mindscape, looking at his own body in the crash. "Oh geez, oh no, am I dead?!"

"Relax Heartbreak," Bill answered. He watched Robbie whip around. "Five shattered ribs, a concussion, and internal bleeding do not a death make. At least, some of the time, haha!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" The teen stumbled away. "Okay, what the heck are you?"

"Mmm, there's not really a word in your language for me. How about I just show you instead?"

Bill casually changed forms into a shape he'd assumed in the nightmare realm plenty of times before. As his hellish eye snaked forward, his limbs multiplied and grew grotesque. Fire erupted from his palms as he assumed not darkness, but an active unlight in the depths of his slitted pupil. Tongues and tentacles sprouted, some with cursed faces of their own. Bill assumed his normal form again after only a second; that second had been enough to elicit a scream and leave Robbie heaving on the side of the road, halfway between vomiting and weeping.

"Hmmm, you know, I wasn't really feeling it that time. I don't have anywhere to be for a while, so let's try again."

Robbie screeched as the demon took on form after form, each more horrific than the last. Finally Bill sensed that his next stop was ready.

"You know, I'm sorry I didn't get to show you everything, but sadly I got places to run to. We'll catch up though, I promise! Byeeeee!" Right before he left the kid's mindscape, Bill giggled at seeing him simply moan in despair before vanishing. Gravity Falls rematerialized around him, but not the actual town itself. It felt unreal and immaterial. In the same way a recalled memory flashes before the eyes and then disappears, so Bill perceived the world. It took so much concentration, but he'd had millennia upon millennia to practice before life even began. The demon perceived a door, far in the distance, and he willed himself through it. The knob turned. He entered…

"Well hello Bill."

Mabel sat on an elegant brass chair, one leg crossed over the other. Her face looked unimpressed. All around her was an empty black space, and behind her another door with "PRIVATE" stamped across it.

"Well well well," he put his hands on his corners, "aren't we a regular night watchgirl?"

"Before you get any bright ideas," Mabel refused his banter, "Dipper's also keeping watch."

"You two wouldn't be hiding anything from me, would you?" Bill put on a faux playful tone. "Because if you are, it'd be a **B̢̡͢͟I͡Ģ̢"** he glitched red for a moment, "mistake!"

"Hey, you hid stuff from us!" She stood up. "And when we shook hands, we said you couldn't access our minds unless we said so. And I don't say so."

"Alright Glitter Queen, you wanna be difficult? I can pull my plan off even without you two. I've been waiting since before your ancestors even figured out how to control more than one cell in their bodies!"

"And yet, you were the one who proposed our deal in the first place." Mabel crossed one arm over her torso, and leaned her chin in the opposite hand. "Nothing we're doing is anything for you to worry about, as long as you keep up your end of the deal. If you do that, we'll cause no trouble."

Bill glowered at her through one eye. "Fine. I don't have the time or patience to force my way inside tonight as it is. But don't forget who's in charge here!"

The floor came rushing up, while the ceiling came sliding down. They phased through each other, and Mabel found herself falling up — or was it down now? She could hardly tell as she yelped in surprise and began to fall.

"Happy landings, kid!"

Bill cackled as he floated upside down beside her. With a tip of his hat he zoomed from her mind, straight through the floor, and into another head. He felt a bit of resistance, but he wasn't looking for the conscious memory. All he needed to find was…

"Stanford Filbrick Pines, my old pal!"

They were in a field of wheat, with broken memories lying around. Ford clenched his fists as the triangle appeared before him. "Bill Cipher... "

"Come on Sixer, you don't look that happy to see me."

"Cut the small talk. If you're here, you must want something from me."

"What, a triangle can't stop by and see an old friend?" He laughed and ruffled Ford's hair. "It's good to see you back in the mindscape, it's been a while! Though I gotta say I'd like it a lot more if we could talk eye-to-eye, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'd sooner die than let you into our world!" He swatted away Bill's hand. "There's no way you can get into our dimension!"

"Tut tut Six-Finger! Don't you know it's rude to lie to your friends?" He snapped his fingers: a glass globe, regulated by tubes and set upon a frail metal base, appeared in his hands.

"Ha!" Ford retorted. "How are you gonna get the rift if you don't even have a physical form?"

"Oh, I'm not gonna get it!" Bill chuckled. "But let's say I struck a deal with a couple of young kids, sweet and innocent little ones?" Dipper and Mabel flashed to life in a column of flames. Ford stared at them as they cradled the rift together. Their eyes were so wide and innocent. "They wouldn't know any better! And then all they need to do is slip, and:"

The glass cracked. Ford stumbled back, but stayed on his feet as a column of nightmares spouted like oil from a newly struck well. Dipper and Mabel screamed as they were engulfed in unholy fire and withered away. Blood ran from the sky. The ground quaked and undulated.

"You'll never get it Bill!" Ford shouted as he shielded his face. "I won't let you get the kids, I'm gonna stop you!"

"Then you better hurry up, Sixer! "We're m̷o͠v͢i̕ńg͘ ̧i̧ntó c̢h̨ec ̛k **̨̀͢m̢ a҉́ ͏̢t̕͘͢ e̕͞ ҉̀͜ ̛̛n ̶̴͠o̢͞͠ ͜w"**

The demon laughed, a terrifying chuckle that would have made the coldest and most steadfast quaver in fear. He left Ford's dreams burning as he retreated back to the nightmare realm. One more piece in place...

* * *

"Doo dadoo dadoo…" Mabel laid on her belly as she bounced her finger around. One of the lizards she'd caught with Dipper, and that had survived the previous night, helplessly danced across the floor on its hind legs. She could feel it struggling against the glow of the amulet's power, a futile effort. Gideon stood right in front of her, cowering as the long slender lizard stood two heads over him.

"Oh come on Gideon," Mabel gave the lizard a goofy low voice. "Why won't you dance with me?"

"Uh, heheh…" he backed up against Mabel's arm, which was thick as a hundred-year oak from his perspective. "You're, ah, not exactly my type?"

"Don't be silly!"

Mabel spoke in the lizard's faux voice again. Her other hand gestured. Gideon suddenly felt his limbs tense. Invisible strings yanked him into the air, and his chubby fingers laced between the scaly toes of the reptile's feet.

"Ah! Ah!" Gideon yelped as felt himself jerked back and forth, whipped and turned and dipped. Meanwhile Mabel kicked her legs behind her body, lazily swung her finger around, and sang under her breath a little waltz:

"Da da da da, daduhduhduh duh, hm hm hm hm…" She snapped her fingers, and a set of knives rose from her bed. They too began to dance around Gideon and the lizard in deadly pirouettes. The blades twirled and flipped, often swinging within a hair's breadth of the two unfortunate dancers. "Maybe a faster tempo!"

The quickening pace of her hums halted, however, as she heard footsteps coming upstairs. With a swipe of her fingers, Gideon and the lizard were thrown against the wall under her bed. With a second swipe she sent two daggers at them. One of them pierced Gideon's cape, pinning him against the baseboard. The other… she forgot that the lizard had nothing to pin it to the wall. She gave a slightly disgusted "Ew" as the knife stuck from its chest, but turned in time to see Ford open the door.

"Mabel, glad to find you up here," Ford nodded. "I need to talk to you and your brother about some things that are very important." He crossed the room and opened their drawer. Mabel saw his eyes widen. "What are these for?" He lifted out a few candles, the ones they used for summoning circles.

"Oh," she thought quickly, "I've been thinking about taking up feng shui?"

Gideon made some faint noises. She flexed her finger to make him shut up. Meanwhile, Ford rubbed his chin. "Alright, come downstairs."

Mabel's thoughts flitted to Gideon, still under the bed, but Ford stood by the doorway and gestured her through. He carried the candlesticks in his six-fingered hand as he followed her downstairs. As she reached the main living room, she saw Dipper sitting at the dining table, leaning his cheek on one hand. His slicked-back hair flashed as he perked up. Beside him sat Grunkle Stan, one leg crossed over the other, arms folded, and looking away crossly. Mabel took a seat on his other side.

"Thank you all for coming," Ford sat across from all three of them and set the candles on the table. "I know you think I'm distracting you from more important affairs—"

"I'll say," Stan replied gruffly. He jabbed his thumb at himself. "I got a golf cart license to forge, and some pugs to hand off down the supply chain. Can't we have this some other time?"

"Stanley, please." Ford's voice was exasperated. "We need to focus on important matters. First of all, I need to ask you all something. Do you recognize THIS symbol?"

He dramatically produced a piece of parchment from his pocket. Beneath columns of hieroglyphics was the unmistakable image of Bill. Mabel felt her brow raise in involuntary recognition, and immediately chastised herself for not bracing for it. "No, I… I don't think it rings a bell."

"Mabel, this is very serious," Ford leaned across the desk towards her, still brandishing the image. "This is Bill Cipher, a demon who wants to invade our dimension and take it for his own. He will say anything, do anything, trick or even possess anyone he wants in order to accomplish his goal. Now, I'm going to need all of your help if we're going to stop him."

Before Mabel or Dipper could speak, Stan blurted out, "Oh, I get it, you expect us to clean up YOUR house for you, clean up YOUR mess!"

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper tried to get him to calm down. "It's our house too."

Stan shot Ford a nasty glare. Without another word he stood up from his chair and stormed out the front door.

"You'll have to forgive him, children, he and I have been having some… intense discussions lately." Ford looked down at his folded hands. "Which is actually something else I've been meaning to talk to you about. There's not really any easy way to say this, so I'll just lay it all out. Stanley's not going to be sticking around."

Mabel felt her pulse instantly jump. She could feel the same response from Dipper. "What do you mean?"

"For years he used my name, my home, and my life. Now that I'm back, I'm going to need those things again. I'm shutting down the Mystery Shack as soon as possible. In the meantime, Stanley's going to move on to new prospects."

"What about us?" Dipper demanded. "Are you going to kick us out along with Grunkle Stan?"

"Now now, calm down," Ford's brow softened as he gestured to comfort him. "I'm not 'kicking him out', he's just going to move on. And don't worry, you two will be fine. Here's the thing: you were adopted by Stanford Pines, correct?"

Mabel quickly connected the dots. The shock must have shown on her face.

"I know this can be a lot to take in. But I promise we'll be a nice normal family that will lead normal lives." He smiled warmly for a second before pulling out a set of blueprints. "Now as I was saying, our plan to keep a chaos demon out of our house! If we sprinkle some mercury along the windowsills, arrange some chakra crystals…"

"Hold on a moment," Dipper spoke up. "Great-Uncle Ford, you can't do this. If you shut down the Mystery Shack, what about our show?"

"Yeah!" Mabel stood up out of her chair. "You wanna just take that away from us?"

"Children, please. I'm glad you have a hobby, but do you really want to follow Stanley's path? You can't be showkids forever!" He looked at both of them. "Tell you what, you can keep it up until the end of summer, but after that we're gonna take down the stage, you kids will get a proper education, and the amulets will be disposed of."

"What?!" They reacted instinctively to protect their tie and headband respectively.

"These amulets are extremely dangerous," Ford explained, "and it was irresponsible for Stanley to let you have them for so long! Even in the short term they can damage people; the fact that you've lasted so far is astonishing."

Ford kept speaking, but Mabel's head was drowned in horror. A hissing, something external, cowering in the shadows of her mind.

 _bad man bad man DON'T LET HIM stop him kill him HURT STOP DON'T LET_

"What if we DON'T wanna live with you!?" Dipper slammed his hands on the table and stood up beside Mabel. "Maybe we're gonna go on the road with Stan!"

Ford stayed calm and composed in the face of Dipper's outburst, frustrating Mabel. "I don't want to say anything bad about my brother, but… do you really think he's the best guardian? He sabotaged my future—"

"He said it was an accident!" interrupted Mabel.

"—but do you really think he wouldn't do the same to keep you around? You can't perform on a stage forever, you need to move on! Stanley… I don't know where he's going to go."

"So you're just gonna turn your back on him, after he spent thirty years trying to save you?"

Ford set his forehead on his hand. "Kids, it's complicated. You'd understand if you were older."

That was one of Mabel's most hated phrases.

He took a deep breath. "Do you two wanna know why I need you near me?"

They both nodded.

"Come with me."

He stood and walked towards the gift shop. With a push of a button on his watch, the vending machine swung open, and he led them down to the bottom floor. All the computers and machines had gone silent, the lights extinguished, except for the ceiling lamps needed to see. Ahead of them in the portal room, the gravity anomaly had torn a hole in the ground above and thus allowed light to stream in. There Mabel could see the portal lying in pieces.

"I've disassembled the portal," Ford explained. "It was a powerful machine, too powerful. Not even space-time is safe from it. That's why I'm upset with Stanley; when he turned on the portal, he made this."

He opened a sliding door in a nearby desk, and pulled out what appeared to be a high-tech snowglobe. It sat on a metallic base with tubes leading to its glass sphere, and trapped inside was a swirling dark blob. It shone with stars and strange light. Mabel had never seen anything like it.

"This rift is a tear in our universe. If Bill manages to get his hands on it, we're all done for. I wanted to show you this so you'd understand how important it is: if this breaks, our entire universe is doomed! Whatever you do, do not let him have it."

Mabel felt a thrill in her heart. She could see Dipper share the same understanding, and they shared an excited glance as Ford turned to put the rift away. "Don't worry, Great-Uncle Ford, we won't let anything happen to it."

"I know, you're good kids. I don't want anything to happen to either of you, but that means we need to work together. Can you help me?" They nodded. "Okay, let me get you each a list of supplies we need to Bill-proof the Shack."

"Alright. Do you mind if I run upstairs to take care of something though?" Mabel asked. When Ford gestured for her to go, she went up the elevator, and then up the stairs. Dashing into their room she knelt at the bedside. "Sorry about that Gideon, got—"

The lizard still hung there, pinned to the wall. So was Gideon's cape. Gideon himself was gone.

* * *

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	25. Fun with Ford

Dipper wandered through corridors and rooms, all familiar. Schools. Houses. Apartments. All of them just as he remembered: not of reality, but of memory, distorted with age and long hallways even longer. All of them empty, with no trace of life. He couldn't even be sure of his own vitality. Dipper very nearly wandered alone. His only companion was the glow.

Neon blue tendrils wrapped and creeped along beside him. They burrowed into the walls and made the roof crumble and sag. They pushed up floor tiles as his feet left them. Yet he felt no fear. They whispered comfort and reassurance to him.

"I don't know," he asked. "We need to be absolutely sure we succeed."

 _no worries will be fine you we can do it together strong can stop idiot fool_

"He's not an idiot," Dipper corrected the voice. "He's very cunning. Mabel and I are doing what we can to sneak around him."

 _why worry her you're fine have me i am all you need to stop my counsel my words all you need_

"I know, and I appreciate your help." He fell silent for a moment. "When the time comes, you're sure you can do your part?"

 _do not doubt boy i will do what is needed you need too and will be great strong powerful you never hurt again_

"Me and Mabel."

The voice suddenly paused. At the same time, a different voice came.

"Dipper!"

"Mabel?!" He raised his voice and paused, the tendrils bunching up behind him and drooping like vines. Up ahead, he saw his sister coming out of the shadows. "Mabel, what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to meet up with my bro-bro." She grinned and gave him a gentle punch in the shoulder.

"Ow," he smirked as he rubbed his arm. She giggled a bit as his exclamation. "Having trouble sleeping in your own head?"

"Says the guy making the effort to lurk in his mindscape. What are you up to?"

"I guess I'm just thinking about—"

 _NO QUIET SILENCE DON'T TRUST_

The voice screamed so loudly it made Dipper flinch. "Hey, calm down, it's my sister."

 _DO NOT TRUST LIAR SEND AWAY KILL MAUL_

Dipper looked back at Mabel, who seemed unperturbed by the voice. "Come on Dipper, you can trust me!"

But he looked closer at her grin, which seemed almost too wide… and those eyes, the way they blinked one at a time… "Mabel?"

Suddenly she snapped backwards. Her spine bent at an impossible angle and she shrieked and cackled… her voice split into two, the screaming coming from her natural timbre and the laughter became both unnatural and familiar. Dipper recoiled in horror and tumbled over the tendrils as Mabel began to melt, flesh dripping from her skeleton and the whole mess burning, bloating like a marshmallow. Bill's sinister voice echoed through his mind.

"HAVE FUN SLEEPING THIS ONE OFF, KID!"

Dipper awoke with a start.

* * *

"Bill appeared in your dreams last night?" Ford tented his fingers as Dipper told him what had happened. They stood in the living room, with Mabel at Dipper's side. "Drat, I was sure the fairy hair would be a good substitute." With a great sigh he pulled out Journal 1 and flipped through it. "God I hate these creatures… alright, one of us is going to have to convince a unicorn to give us a lock of its hair. Would either of you say that you have a pure heart?"

Dipper nearly laughed aloud at the question. Mabel, however, chirped up. "Leave it to me, Great-Uncle Ford! I got the perfect team for the job!" She pulled out her phone and dashed out of the room without another word. As Dipper watched her leave, he heard Ford sigh behind him.

"She's in for a rough time. Unicorns aren't the delightful creatures you read about in fairy tales; they just got cozy with some fantasy writers back in the day. We need to be prepared in case your sister doesn't succeed, which is very likely. Come along, Dipper."

Ford led him into the gift shop. With a push of a button on his watch, the vending machine swung open and the two went downstairs. Once they reached the elevator and stepped inside, they descended. This time they only went down one floor, to a room Dipper hadn't seen yet.

"Welcome to my private study!"

As the door opened, Dipper stepped out onto a scarlet rug that golden strokes swept across. Looking around he saw a soft chair, several outdated computer monitors, and a desk. Lying atop it all was a layer of clutter. The chair peeked out underneath a haphazard sheet; cables and wires seemed to slither around the monitors like boa constrictors; the desk carried several open books, crumpled parchment, and an inkwell as its burden. A skull sat in this corner, a globe in that one, and a chessboard sat beside the chair with a half-finished game lying upon it.

"In a way this has been my sanctuary," Ford rambled as he stuck his hands in his pockets, walking forward briskly. "Stanley never got in here, so everything is right where I left it. Thank God, I don't know what he would have turned my _Homo sasquatchis_ skulls into." Striding over to the monitors, he picked up a vice-like headset. "Sit right here, Dipper."

Dipper spied a stool nearby, and perched upon it. Ford lowered the set onto his skull, and two sets of metal fingers closed like a clam about him. The brass felt heavy, and he had to struggle to keep his head upright. Cold metal pressed against his hair and skin, the texture making him uncomfortable, but it wasn't too tight at least. He watched Ford carefully pull the rift from his pocket and set it on the nearby desk. "So… what exactly does this machine do?"

"This machine will read your thoughts, displaying them on this screen, and then encrypt them so that Bill won't be able to—"

Dipper immediately snapped away from the conversation. His thoughts? Displayed where Ford could see? He snapped to the rift, swirling and beckoning. Ford couldn't see his thoughts! If he did, then Dipper knew he could kiss goodbye any chance of getting that rift! His great-uncle turned his back. He grabbed his amulet. Waved his hand.

The screen screeched. Ford whirled around in time to see it fizzle out. Sparks flew into the air with a puff of smoke trailing. Dipper relaxed again, the blackness of the screen reassuring him.

"What the heck? Hold on a moment Dipper, I'll get this fixed up."

"Alright, sure. I'll just head back upstairs for a bit then, you don't need me around here?"

Ford had just been kneeling to access the back of the screen, but now he stopped. He scanned Dipper's face; he froze, realizing he may have bared his intentions.

"Dipper… is it okay if I borrow your amulet for a bit?"

Panic sprouted inside him. "Why?"

He came forward a step. "Just for a little bit, please."

"Why do you want it so badly?!" Dipper stumbled from his stool backwards and threw the headset aside. He clasped the amulet in his hand. It beat with warmth, pulsing against his palm. _don't let him take keep protect need bad evil STOP HIM do not let need steal_

"Dipper, please, it's very unhealthy to have that with you. I'm not gonna do _glrk!"_

Dipper thrust out his hand; Ford recoiled, and began trying to claw at his own throat as he floated into the air. "You're not taking this from me! You promised I'd have it to the end of summer, and you're not gonna touch it until then! Got it?!"

"Have you gone mad boy?!" Ford struggled.

Before Dipper could answer, a voice came through the ceiling. "Hey Dipper! Sixer! Get up here, I have some exciting news!" Stan chuckled as he moved away. His voice had snapped Dipper back to the present. He looked up at his great-uncle writhing in the air, and he released his grip on Ford. The old man grunted as he fell to the ground. As he edged back up on his elbows, he gave the boy a hard stare.

"We're going to talk about this later."

Most kids would have felt a cold pit in their stomach, but Dipper still stoked his anger as they climbed upstairs. He wasn't going to let Ford get the best of him, he wasn't going to let him have his amulet. Dipper stayed in his bubble of swirling fury until they finally emerged out from behind the vending machine again to see Stan hanging up American flag ribbons. "I got amazing news! The mayor just kicked the bucket!"

Once again Stan broke Dipper from his thoughts. "Wait, what?"

"It was on TV! That means a new mayor needs to be elected, and I'm going to need a new house anyways," he smirked at Ford, "so I figured, why not crash in the mayor's mansion?"

Ford stepped forward. "Stanley, I can give you plenty of reasons for 'why not'. The mayorship is a prestigious position that commands dignity. You have no political experience, you have no sense of politeness, and you scam people for a living. There's no way you'd get elected!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the sound of how successful my campaign is gonna be! Dipper, take this flier and get me a hundred copies."

"Hold on," Ford stopped him. "You can't use that scanner, it's dangerous!"

"Oh for crying out loud. It'll be fine, he knows how to use it."

"Dipper, that's my scanner, and as your legal guardian I forbid you to use it!"

"Hey, hey!" Stan dropped the ribbon and jabbed a finger in Ford's chest. "You don't talk to my kid like that!"

"Really? You wanna go through this whole thing again? Maybe if you had used your real name, then—"

Dipper left them to argue as he slunk away, thankful that he escaped them. He folded Stan's flyer and stuffed it in his shirt pocket. 'Just a quick run by the copier store,' he thought, and pushed the morning far behind him.

* * *

As he entered town, Dipper found his way blocked by a crowd of people. As he drew near, he began to hear them chanting, and it chilled him:

"Gleeful! Gleeful! Gleeful!"

Then they all cheered as a large man, complete with hat and pink shirt, stepped onto a box and peered over their heads.

"Alright, alright, settle down now y'all. I am truly honored that you are supporting me, Bud Gleeful, to be mayor of this here beautiful town. Why, my son Gideon and I have nothing but love in our hearts for Gravity Falls. In fact, Lil' Gideon himself would love to speak to y'all today! Come on up here, son."

Dipper immediately perked up as Bud stepped down from his perch. Gideon took up the post… but even with the boost, only his hair could be seen above the heads. He stepped off again. There was some discussion. Then Bud stepped on again, this time holding Gideon under the armpits and showing him to the crowd.

"Thank you, Papa. And thank you, good people of Gravity Falls, for being here this fine day! How're y'all doin'?" A cheer answered him. "Aw, I'm glad, I'm glad! It's always a good day when I can wake up here and smell the fresh Oregon air. But you know, I'm sad to say that there's been some spooky stuff goin' around lately."

"A bunch of little men stole my pies!" Lazy Susan exclaimed.

"A flyin' lizard stole our car roof!" Deputy Durland added.

"See? Exactly my point. But ol' Papa here, he's just what we need to get Gravity Falls safe again." Right at that moment, as Gideon scanned the audience, his eyes connected with Dipper's. This was the real Gideon, he could tell by the bright palette and the flush in his cheeks. There was a flicker of fear, but nobody else in the audience saw it. "So vote Gleeful this election, ladies and gents! Let's make the Falls Gleeful again!"

Dipper began to slink away to the copy store as the audience burst into cheers once more. He turned to look where he was going just in time for have his shirt roughly grabbed.

"Hey!" He grimaced as he was pulled down an alleyway. His hand reached for his amulet just as a gun barrel was pressed to his head.

"Touch that stone, boy, and you won't remember your name."

The voice carried both a homely country twang and a dark threat. Dipper looked into his assaulter's face to find only a shadow, covered with a familiar red hood.

"Ain't nobody gonna be ruinin' the rally here. And nobody gonna be ruinin' Bud's chances either."

Dipper made the connection easily enough. "He's your puppet..."

"Wrong, he's one of us! And when we have the mayor in our pocket, we're gonna be able to deal with you in the public eye! Kidnappin' Gideon, blindin' Ivan, you got a lot to answer for, you an' yer sister both!"

Dipper struggled to get away. "Why are you telling me this? You coulda just stopped me you know!"

There was a pause. "Y'know, I reckon yer right. Let's just…" There was the sound of the memory gun reprogramming. "Alrighty, night night kid!"

 _RUN RUN RUN_

With a strength he didn't know he had, he pushed the Blind Eye member away from him. Then Dipper touched the ground; a coat of slick ice glossed over the asphalt, making the robed man slip and fall. Dipper ran all the way back to the Mystery Shack, forgetting the copies. They needed to act fast...

* * *

"Hum de dum dum," Soos rummaged through the twins' room, putting stuff in order. Picking up books, storing away pencils. "Doh di doh, singing generic songs, la ti da… unh, what's that smell?"

Soos looked around for the offending odor. Finally he peered under Mabel's bed, and scrunched up his nose at seeing the dead mouse still pinned to the wall.

"That's… odd. How did that — what?"

Also under Mabel's bed were drawings. Sketches of summoning circles. Designs for some kind of box. Soos remembered the powers that they'd used to shove him aside that fateful night with the portal, and he flipped through papers all adorned with triangles.

"I… I don't understand. What are these doing here?..."

"An excellent question Soos."

"Ah!" He whipped around and lost his balance, catching himself on the bedpost as Dipper came in. He stepped lightly, like a feline eyeing its target. "Uh, hey Dipper! Howsuh, how's things goin?"

"Not good Soos. Things are not looking good at all." There was a slight crack in his voice, but his grim tone practically dared the grown man to make any wisecracks.

Soos pressed back further away. "Ummmm, listen, I think I'm just gonna go downstairs and definitely not talk to Mr. Pines about how creepy this all is."

"What's the matter Soos?" Now Dipper sounded friendly. Soos looked around for any way to exit.

"Just… this triangle guy. Mr. Pines said it's dangerous! New Mr. Pines I mean, he said that Bill could try to get into the Shack! You're not talking to him, are you?"

Dipper only stared back. His face showed some kind of emotion between amusement and contempt.

"Wait wait. You're not… helping him?"

Dipper snapped his fingers. The paper burned, prompting Soos to yelp and drop it. The symbols wiped away. The window shattered and its pane warped, splintering the surrounding wood.

"Thank you, Soos," Dipper coolly replied, "for an excuse to get those annoying peepholes out of our room. And for your information, we have a very… special working relationship with Bill. We have our own plan, and I don't think it fits his agenda or Ford's. But I think we can fit you in for a special role… it would be nice to have a mayor on our side."

Soos shook his head and shrunk back even more. "Listen, I-I don't really know what's goin' on here, but I don't wanna be caught up in this stuff!"

"I'm sorry Soos," the boy cocked his head to one side, and raised his hands almost absentmindedly. "But you don't really have a choice."

Then he began to chant: _SZLEHHPS EEKUPS! SZLEHHPS EEKUPS!_

Soos watched in horror as the eyes rolled back. Began to glow bright blue. His head began to ache…

"No Dipper! Wait, what are you doing?!"

He felt his mind split open. Flooding from every open window and door. Bright blue filling his vision.

"DUDE! GET OUT OF MY—"

His vision faded. Soos' agonized screams could be heard out the window and in the yard of the Mystery Shack.


	26. Tightening the Noose

As Mabel set out on her quest, she pulled out her phone. Only the pure of heart could get unicorn hair? She had just the person for the job. Fifteen minutes later, she was walking in circles and humming lightly to herself on the eastern edge of town until she heard footsteps behind her.

"Mabel," came the cold greeting.

"You don't sound too happy to see me, Pacifica," Mabel replied as she turned around. The girl stood there, staring with a mixture of both dislike and fear. She wore a dull blue sweater, with a grey cloud upon it.

"Let's just get this over with. What do you want me to do?"

Mabel left the question unanswered. Instead she jerked her head towards the woods and hiked inside. Pacifica followed, their steps pressing on the soft grass and making the blades rustle. Sunlight made the air glow with warmth, yet Mabel could feel her follower shiver. Pacifica's thoughts buzzed, and Mabel couldn't help but reach into her mindscape. Just slip a few more images in there, build up that dread, it was so much fun…

"Hold on," Pacifica halted. They were out of sight of the town, but she backed away a bit towards home. "If I'm going to help you, you have to promise to heal my dad."

Mabel chuckled and turned around, leaning against the tree with one hand. "I don't think you're in any place to call the shots."

"Oh yeah?" She sat down on a nearby log and crossed her arms in defiance. "If you're getting me involved, you probably have dirty work that you need others to do. So I'm just gonna sit here until I know it's worth my while."

Mabel held out her hand. Pacifica yowled in pain as her hair leapt up and dragged her over. Mabel calmly grasped the hair and yanked it to the sky. "It's worth your while Pacifica. Trust me."

"No!" She yanked her hair back and smoothed it down. "I do _not_ trust you. But you're the only hope I have of saving my dad. Now the way I see it," Pacifica kept going before Mabel could cut in, "You're going to keep your word and save Dad, or you won't keep your word and keep leading me on for who knows how long. So let's get this straight: I do this, then you make him better. Otherwise, you can threaten me all you want but I won't let you have power over me anymore. Deal?"

Mabel looked at her with amusement. For a nice girl, Pacifica had a little more cleverness than she expected. A little. "I'll think about it." She jabbed her thumb over her shoulder with a questioning glance. Pacifica sighed and stood up. "There we go! Now come on, let's have a good time while we're here, better than being miserable. We're going to have a good time, see a unicorn—"

"Whoa, wait, a unicorn?!" Pacifica's eyes sparkled a bit.

"Yeah, I need someone 'pure of heart' to get me some unicorn hair, and you're the best bet I have for that. Bowling with orphans, blech…"

Pacifica seemed to forget her fears a bit, and began babbling about some beliefs about unicorns — "I read that their eyelashes were used in Van Gogh's paintbrush!" — as Mabel led her to a glade. The air felt heavy with golden dust, and the grass seemed greener and lusher than normal, almost unnaturally so. Stones were propped up like lintels or adorned with spirals. Bluebells and poppies smiled up from their stems. A winding river babbled its way through. As Pacifica took in the scene, Mabel pulled out Journal 1 and flipped to the proper page.

"Okay, 'to summon the unicorn, one must bellow this ancient chant droned only by the deepest-voices druids of old.'" Mabel cleared her throat, and held the journal in one hand. She rested the other hand on her throat. As she chanted, her voice sounded lower and lower. Pacifica watched in fascination. As she finished the incantation, the ground suddenly lurched. Pillars and walls sprouted from the grass. A massive enclosure, older than any human civilization and built with timeless architecture, erupted before them. Huge double doors swung open to reveal clouds of pink dust and butterflies. And in the center…

"Eeek!" Despite being dragged here against her will, Pacifica let out a yelp of joy at the sight. "A REAL UNICORN!"

 _Yes,_ a high voice echoed in their heads as the unicorn stared them in the eyes. _It is I, Celestabellebethabelle, the last of my kind._

"Greetings, uh… Celeste?" Pacifica chuckled nervously. She turned to Mabel, who nodded sternly. Then she turned back to the unicorn. "I have come to claim a lock of your hair, so that I may save my family!"

 _Very well, then step forward, girl of pure and perfect heart!_

Mabel saw Pacifica take a deep breath. Stand up straight. March forward, kneel on one leg, and bow her head. "I, Pacifica Northwest, humbly request a lock of your hair."

 _What? Youuuu?_

Mabel stiffened as Pacifica looked up, horrified. "Am… am I not pure of heart?"

 _Not at all my child! You have done terrible wrong in my eyes! Horrible, unspeakable things!_

"No, please!" She dropped to both knees and grabbed at the unicorn's leg. "You have to forgive me, I need this!"

 _No, you must go and not come back until you're pure of heart!_

"My dad's gonna die unless you give me that hair! You don't understand, my dad's gonna die! My dad's gonna..." Her voice cracked under the tears, until she was sobbing against the equine knee.

 _Well_ maybe _you should have been a better person. Now begone until you are - whoa!_

Mabel lifted the unicorn into the air with her amulet, very cross. "You don't understand. We are leaving here with that hair, and I don't care what you have to say about it."

"M-Mabel…" Pacifica stammered. "I'm so—"

"Useless, that's what you are." Mabel opened her blazer, revealing her knives. One by one they twirled into the air, glimmering a dangerous turquoise. "Now I have to go and get my hands dirty anyways."

 _Stop girl! What are you doing?! You are so dirty and unclean of heart!_

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

 _I shall unleash my unicorn powers upon you! Do not do this! A cursed life for those who kill a unicorn!_

"I'll take my chances, thank you." With a grin, Mabel clenched her fist. The knives surrounded the unicorn's neck. Pacifica looked away as she swiped.

Celestabellebethabelle wasn't killed. But Mabel went home with all her hair, while Pacifica went home more hopeless than ever. Mabel was just thinking about how to use her next when she came up to the Mystery Shack.

She heard Soos screeching from their room.

* * *

Three days later, Mabel was sitting down to a breakfast of cereal when Grunkle Stan came into the room. He held a phone against his ear.

"I'm tellin' yah Toby, I don't know what everyone got so offended about yesterday! I was just detailing my plan for healthcare." He listened again. "Well, maybe the leeches don't wanna suck on you anyways! Hey, you wanna say that to my face, small man?! Hello?" With a growl Stan slammed the receiver back down. "Mabel honey, the press is givin' your grunkle a hard grilling."

She looked up from her bowl, watching him tap his fingers on his chin. "Sorry to hear that Grunkle Stan. Anything I can do?" Mabel offered only because she knew his response.

"Thanks sweetie, but I'm gonna sort it out. When the final debate starts up, I'm gonna stick it to all of them!"

"Sure you will, Stanley." Ford walked in carrying a moonstone, eyes focused on his work.

"Just you watch! I'm gonna show them all up!"

"Yeah. Uh huh." He set the moonstone on top of the fridge and carefully adjusted it with his fingers. "Mabel, did you say you had extra unicorn hair left over?"

Stan rubbed his head, knocking his fez askew. "I just can't believe that the winner of the debate was—"

"Hey everyone! It's Soos!" Soos suddenly came in through the door, with Dipper right behind him. He wore a black suit that squeezed around his middle. His eyes seemed slightly out of focus, and there a hint of a blue glow about them.

"Soos!" Mabel greeted him. Her eyes darted from him to Dipper as she asked, "Where've you been all morning?"

"Just practicing my speech for the election today. Dipper's been helping me. I have a good feeling!" Every time he spoke, Dipper concentrated directly at his head.

Stan scoffed. "Well don't get your hopes up. I'm gonna mop the stage today and get all that birdseed thrown at me!... Wow, never thought that'd be a phrase I'd say in my life."

"Know what phrase you really won't say?" Soos chuckled. "'Hey, Mayor Pines here!'" With a laugh he left the room, with Dipper in tow. Mabel snuck her brother a subtle high-five as they walked out.

"Did… did he just burn me?" Stan's face filled with shock. "I didn't know Soos had it in him…" Then he broke into a grin. "I must be rubbin' off on him!"

Ford seemed more contemplative though, his eyes following Dipper, then resting on Mabel. "You said Soos doesn't usually act like that?"

"Eh, people change, y'know? You see it all the time in politicians."

Ford nodded, rubbing his chin. "Stanley, how would you like me to be your campaign manager?"

"Yah really think I need help winnin' over the masses? The people love me!"

"You polled at one percent after the stump speeches, and that's because you voted for yourself."

"...okay, so maybe I could use a few pointers."

"Glad you agree. Come on now." Ford pushed him from behind and steered him towards the vending machine. Mabel watched the duo disappear around the corner, and went back to her cereal.

He knew. She knew that he knew. But that wasn't going to matter soon…

* * *

A couple hours later, she was juggling fireballs back and forth with Dipper on the stage of the final debate. The entire population of Gravity Falls ooh'ed over their skills, clapping at every act. Finally they concluded and took a bow.

"Thank you everyone!" Mabel shouted. "I hope you're _fired_ up now to choose the mayor!"

A laugh answered her jest.

"And remember," Dipper added. "Our last act for the summer is going to be tomorrow. I hope to see you all there, to say good-bye to the magic."

There was a chorus of aw's, but clapping as they disappeared behind the stage's curtain. They heard the speakers from the other side.

"That was the Mystery Twins in their penultimate performance of the Mystery Twins Mystery Hour. I'm Shandra Jimenez, and today the town of Gravity Falls will make a decision that will be remembered for generations by historical society members and nobody else. Four candidates vie for the mayorship today. Please introduce yourselves."

"Hello everyone, I'm Tyler Cutebiker, and I'm here to giiit us to a brighter tomorrow. A Gravity Falls we can believe in? Git it!"

"Hey there folks, it's Bud Gleeful, your hometown car dealer! You want a square deal in a mayor? Well I'm the closest thing you've got!"

Mabel watched as Dipper closed his eyes and jabbed his finger.

"I'm Jesus Ramirez, and I'm gonna be the best mayor that Gravity Falls has ever seen! Free pancake dinners, a brand new beach, and an even bigger roadsign — only Soos can get that for you!"

Mabel snickered as the crowd cheered for him. "This is gonna be a piece of cake." No sooner had she said it though…

"Good afternoon folks, I'm Stan Pines! I am currently in the running for the mayorship of this fine city! I can assure you have the most sound macroeconomic policies of any candidate on this stage, and the most leadership experience! So demonstrate the highest regard for democratic republicanism and cast your ballot for Stan Pines!"

There was a silence. Then a far off voice shouted, "He used big words! He's so smart!" Mabel heard a round of applause and whoops as she peeked around the curtain.

"Since when did Grunkle Stan know anything about economic policies? You think Ford taught him all that stuff so quickly?"

Dipper tugged on her sleeve. "No, but Ford's involved in it alright."

He pointed with an angry look to the other side of backstage. Grunkle Ford had on a blue and grey tie… and staring hard at Stan's neck, Mabel could see an American flag tie slipping under his collar. When Ford waved, Stan waved. When Stan spoke, Ford mirrored his words.

"I cannot believe this." She gritted her teeth. "Alright, 'grunkle', you wanna fight? We're gonna give it to you real good…"

Shandra Jimenez's voice came over the speaker. "We'll begin with a question from the audience. Our first question comes from Mr. Tad Strange."

"Hi everyone. I want to know your position on the epidemic of unusual bread in supermarkets. How will you protect normal bread from the onslaught of cinnamony alternatives?"

Bud beat them to the opening. "An excellent question Tad, an excellent question! Folks, the wave of weirdness has crashed so far that even our supermarket shelves aren't safe! We need to make Gravity Falls a safe place for our children, and our breads! I propose a mandatory normality test on all foods."

There were murmurs from the audience, and the sound of bird seed being tossed, until Stan and Ford interrupted. "Your proposal is utterly fallacious! Such regulation would wreak detriment on the aggregate supply of produce and other consumables in the city!"

There was silence. "What the heck did you just say?" came a distant call.

"Uhhh…" Ford looked down in panic to simplify his vocabulary.

Shandra cut him off. "We'll come back to you Mr. Pines. Mr. Ramirez, what are your comments?"

Mabel watched her brother concentrate. "You know, I love bread as much as you Tad. And I totally get that you're concerned for the fine art of baking. But I personally love cinnamon bread, and I know a lot of other people do too. That's why I'm gonna host an official Gravity Falls Bread Baking Contest! What do you all say?!"

There was the beginning of a cheer. Then a sudden quiet. The silence grew more and more strenuous. "Mr. Ramirez, are you going to deliver your comments?"

"I… I have, already!"

"Hm. Well, Cutebiker?"

"I say: you like whole wheat bread? Git it. Cinnamon raisin? Git it. Sourdough?..."

As Cutebiker continued, Mabel looked around in confusion. "What just happened? I know I heard Soos talk…"

"I did too!" Just at that moment, they heard a familiar noise below their feet: the sound of a memory gun being reprogrammed. "Why, those sons of…" Dipper began to storm down, but Mabel stopped him.

"You take care of Soos. I'll deal with them."

Dipper flashed a thumbs up, and Mabel pivoted on her heel towards the steps. Descending them, she peered under the stage. A cloaked figure stood silhouetted against the crowd, holding his memory gun at the ready. "Now let's see here, I think I gotta just fine tune this, might have been too on-the-nose with that first bit."

"Ya think?"

The shadow whirled around, and Mabel could hear the country twang as he stammered. "Y-you! Uh, nothing to see here, just a stage technician, authorized personnel only, and all that other city tech talk."

"Well then, you won't be needing that gun, will you?" Mabel willed the memory eraser into the air, and snapped it in two. "What's it gonna take to get it through your thick heads that you shouldn't get in my or Dipper's way?"

"Girl, you've messed with the Blind Eye too much already. Once Bud is the mayor, we're gonna set things right in this here town! And yer gonna be normal, or yer not gonna be here at all, yeh hear?"

"Yeah? You and what army?"

A pause. "Uh… the Society of the Blind Eye? I thought we'd made that clear?"

"It is, I've just always wanted to say that."

Even though she couldn't see his features, Mabel was sure that the man was annoyed. "Get her."

Mabel instinctively grabbed her headband. Good thing too; a set of fingers tried to rip it off her head. "Old tricks!" She pushed him back and sent her attacker flying ten feet while the original man wrapped his arm around her neck, pulling out another memory gun.

"Now, we're just gonna take away the bad nasties and you're gonna be nice and happy lil girl, won't that be nice?"

"No!" She flung him off, only to be grabbed by a third attacker.

"Now come on Mabel, see reason. You really don't have anything you wanna forget about?"

Stan was going to be kicked out soon.

"No memories you want to blot out?"

 _You gonna glitter me to death? You're a weirdo, maybe that's why nobody likes you…_

"No dark times you want to escape from forever?"

The shouting. The gunshot. The closet…

"Just a little push, and it's all gone."

"NO!"

Mabel lashed out blindly and freed herself, but she couldn't follow through with a crippling blow. Instead she stared into the darkness, and closed her eyes. Time seemed to slow.

"There's a lot of things I don't like about my past. A lot of memories hurt. But I don't wanna give them up. They hurt, but they made me stronger too. I know I can take on anything now, because I have—"

 _me and all the power you could ever want desire_

"—Dipper."

With that she swiped her hands again. The stage rocked dangerously but stayed intact. The members of the Blind Eye were not so lucky. Mabel wanted to go up to the stage again and join Dipper, tell them about their victory.

Instead she picked up one of the memory guns.

She sat there on the ground for a long time, staring at the eraser in her lap. Mabel couldn't deny, the temptation was strong. A lot of pain begged to be drawn out. A lot of past… but a part of her past that was also part of who she was. And she wanted to be no one else, she was so sure of that.

Then why did she have a hard time focusing enough energy to melt the gun?

Just as she struggled with it, she heard the cry of an eagle.

"The mayor-picking eagle has decided! Ladies and gentlemen, the next mayor of Gravity Falls, Jesus Ramirez!"


	27. Making History

Dipper sat with his sister in the living room; he sprawled across the armchair, propping up a journal in one hand and practicing spells with the other. Mabel sat on the ground with her legs before her. She lazily waved one hand, prompting a collection of screwdrivers and hammers to assemble a wooden box before her. Her eyes watched the television. Soos stood on screen in a full suit and tie before city hall.

"Mayor Ramirez," Shandra asked him, "your recent red robe ban has already led to the arrests of several townsfolk, including Farmer Sprott, Tats, and Toby Determined. While I'm not complaining about Toby, aren't you worried about the controversy surrounding your actions?"

Dipper twirled his finger. Soos closed his eyes.

"A lot of people have asked me about that. And to them, I'd like to award free tickets to the final performance of the Mystery Twins at the Mystery Shack tonight!"

"Mayor Ramirez, I don't think that's fully relevant—" Shandra was drowned out by a flood of people swarming the stage, clamoring for the tickets.

"What's he doing now?" Stan grunted as he came into the room wearing only his undershirt and boxers, carrying a cup of coffee in one hand. "Ugh, I can't believe this. You give a guy the keys to the mayoral mansion and suddenly he acts like some kind of bigshot. Put it on something good."

"Come on Stan," Mabel didn't look up as she finished twisting a screw in, "you're just sore that he beat you in the election."

"Yeah. I am. Now I'm without a handyman, and I can't find anyone else willing to put up with me like Soos did." He sipped his cup of coffee just as Ford walked into the living room, hands in his trench coat's pockets.

"Well at least you won't need a handyman much longer, because you're closing the Mystery Shack soon, right Stanley?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm doing the paperwork and all that mess. It'll be about three to five — thirty-five days — weekdays — weeks, yeah, a hundred and thirty-five weeks."

Ford rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well when you do close it down and move out, you're free to keep all of your stuff."

"Oh, look at Mr. Generous here!"

"I hope you'll show me the same courtesy and let me keep my things." He raised a brow and lifted a small glowing crystal from his pocket. "Like this crystal of mine I saw you sneaking this morning."

Stan's eyes went wide, and he looked from side to side. "Uh… I was framed."

"Stanley, I'm working on something very important! If we're going to keep ourselves protected from Bill, we need to be prepared for any contingency."

Dipper looked up from his spells. "What are you building, Great-Uncle Ford?"

"A quantum destabilizer, a weapon of last resort," he stowed the crystal away again. "Now, I want to remind you kids: after your performance today, you're giving up your amulets. Got it?"

"Mmmkay," Dipper and Mabel nodded in unison. Just at that moment, there was a knock at the door. "Not it," they again said together.

"Well," Stan put his arm in front of Ford, stopping him. "Mr. Mystery isn't out of the business yet!" He stepped to the door, threw it open, and shouted, "Welcome to a world of mystery!"

"Dr. Pines?" It was Pacifica's voice. Dipper looked down at Mabel. "I was wondering… I'm doing a summer project for school and I was hoping I could talk to you about your research on the environment in Gravity Falls?"

"Oh, uh… sure. Let me just change my clothes." Stan closed the door and came back to the living room, visibly irritated. "It's for you, Sixer."

"A curious young mind? Eager to seek my knowledge?" Ford's eyes brightened, and he clasped his hands together.

"Heh, don't let it get to your head." Stan clicked his tongue and playfully elbowed Ford as he walked past.

"Give it back Stanley."

Stan groaned and thrust out his hand, returning the crystal he had tried to re-pilfer. With his possessions restored, Ford readjusted his coat and marched out the door, greeting Pacifica warmly. Mabel's eyes returned to Dipper.

"That's your cue bro."

Dipper closed the journal and went to the vending machine.

* * *

A couple hours later, Dipper looked in the mirror, smoothing back his hair one more time. The crowd outside clamored louder than ever. Check his suit. Adjust the amulet. Press down the collar. Fiddle with the sleeve buttons. Make sure that amulet was nice and secure. "What do you think Mabel? Am I show-ready?"

She answered off from the side, "I think so! And how about yours truly?"

He looked over his sister, also dressed in her finest stage clothes. "I think we're both ready then. Should we go out there a little—" Dipper found himself interrupted by the sound of boots tromping up the steps.

"Hey guys," Wendy gave a smile and a casual wave. "Ready for your last performance?"

"You bet!" Dipper felt his voice crack, and immediately tried to correct it by lowering his pitch. "You, uh, want to make a special request?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, could you give Robbie a special shout-out?"

His blood turned to ice. "Robbie?"

"Listen, I know you two don't have the smoothest relationship, but I know he'd appreciate it. He's still in the hospital, but the doctor's just said he's gonna be well enough in time for school. He really feels like he's getting the short end of the stick; I would too, to be honest." She gave a gentle snort. "I'll film in the crowd, and if you could just say something, I know he'd appreciate it. I promise," Wendy cut off his protest, "he's a sweet guy once you get to know him."

Before Dipper could even formulate an answer, Mabel cut in on his behalf. "Don't worry sister, we'll be more than happy to help you out."

"Sweet! I owe you guys." She shot them a double thumbs up before leaving the stage.

"Don't worry Dip," Mabel smirked at his reflection in the mirror, "we can put it at the end of the show."

He returned the grin through the glass. "Yeah, that's a good plan." His fingers touched the smooth turquoise gem around his neck. It glowed warmly, as did Mabel's upon her headband. Under his fingers, it seemed to beat with a pulse that matched his own: excited and eager. "You ready?"

"I've been ready for this for years. Let's go put on a show."

Moments later, Grunkle Stan was on stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you tonight a performance that will never again be seen by human eyes! They've wowed you all summer, but now they've met their match: government-mandated education!" Silence. "Oh come on, that was funny! Augh, never mind. Anyways, I present to you for the last time this year or any year, the Mystery Twins!"

The curtains opened. The stage lay bare. There were some murmurs from the crowd as the silence lengthened.

"Oh no Mabel, I think we missed our cue!" Dipper's magnified voice echoed around the area.

"It seems like we have, Dipper! We're late! Looks like we'll need a shortcut…"

Dipper snapped his fingers. With a burst of silver smoke, he found himself before the crowd. Cheers erupted at his arrival. There was a second burst, and Mabel posed beside him. They joined hands and bowed. The applause roared in ecstasy. Tonight's crowd dwarfed their previous ones: every citizen of the town had come by to see their pride and joy retire. That is, most of them came to see their pride and joy.

As Dipper scanned the crowd, a few faces popped out to him. Soos sat near the front in his suit, clapping like a robot. On one side was Shandra, directing her cameraman. On his other side sat Gideon and Bud. They were clapping politely, but their faces were thunderous. Bud signed an X over his eyes, and Dipper knew what he was here to do. His heart pounded. The amulet pounded along with it. They straightened up.

"Now, I'm sorry to say," Mabel addressed the crowd, "that we only have one trick prepared for tonight."

"Awwwwww!"

"But we promise you," Dipper winked, "that it's going to be the best trick you've ever seen. Mabel, bring out the Box of Fate!"

As Mabel went off-stage to get their props in order, Dipper saw Ford poke his head out the door. Everyone's gaze was focused on the stage. As a result, Ford seemed comfortable waving Stan over.

"Alrighty everyone, here we go!" Mabel pushed a wheeled cart onto the stage. A tarp covered it, obscuring the item on top. The wheels squeaked and rattled along the wooden boards. Dipper tilted his ear, and tapping his amulet accented his hearing.

"—not a joke Stanley! I know you took it, now where did you put it?!"

As they argued quietly near the back of the crowd, Mabel finished moving the cart into place. "Ladies and gentlemen, we come to you tonight with a device to astound and amaze you!" She gripped the sheet and tore it off. Perched atop the cart was the hollow wooden box she'd been building, painted black and coated with glitter. The faces were open and clear. Mabel rested the sheet on her hand. It fluttered in the strengthening breeze.

Dipper stepped close to her. "What you're about to experience has never been seen by human eyes. Behold, as we make history!" He grabbed the sheet and tossed it aside.

The rift appeared in his sister's hand.

Looking out at the audience, he could see Ford's face blanch. Forgoing any attempt at stealth, the old man began dashing for the stage. The sun was beginning to set, dying the scene pink.

"Oh my Dipper, what is this strange thing?"

The stars inside swirled and bubbled, a thin glass bubble the only barrier between Mabel's palm and the Nightmare Realm.

"I don't know Mabel, but you better be careful! That looks expensive!"

"Don't worry Dipper, I'll be — whoops!"

She turned, and let the rift slip from her hands. For a heart-stopping moment it fell through the air. 'Come on… we gotta get this right…'

It smashed just barely inside the box.

"NO!" Ford screamed as the audience gasped. The rift bled a darkness that pooled in the bottom of the box. Distant clouds of cosmic dust could be seen, then a burning light…

"AT LAST! THE GATE BETWEEN WORLDS HAS BEEN OPENED!"

There was a sadistic cackle as Bill squeezed himself through the rift, burst into the light — and promptly smashed his face against the top of the box.

"Hey! What the—"

"Hey Bill," Mabel leaned on top of the box. "How's it going?"

"Kids! What — what are you doing?"

"Putting on a show, can't you see that?" Dipper gestured out to the audience. "Say 'Hi Bill', everyone!"

"Hi Bill!" They all laughed back. The only two people not grinning were Gideon and Ford: the former looked concerned, while Ford was terrified.

"Huh? What?" Bill tried to stick his fist through the box's open sides, but found a rainbow field blocking his limb. "What is this?"

"It's unicorn hair, silly!" Mabel laughed and pointed at him. "Classic Bill folks!" They laughed again, as an audience does with a joke they don't understand but don't want to be left out of.

"Let me out of here right now," Bill screamed, "or so help me I will replace your eyeballs with baby heads!"

"Nah, I don't think so." Dipper coolly approached the trapped triangle.

"We had a deal!"

"Yeah, and we kept up our part." He talked like he was explaining to a four-year-old why he wasn't buying them an ice cream. "We got you into our dimension. Now it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain. Mabel?"

They thrust their arms through the barrier, and grabbed Bill's hands. Dipper didn't hear his protests. He didn't hear anything. He didn't see anything, except blue. His skin crawled with pins and needles, scampering from Bill's hand up his arm and over his torso. Tendrils of fire seemed to wrap about his wrist. His amulet burned. His head filled with a scream of both pain and thrill, agony and excitement. And his body… all the weird pains and awkwardness of his pre-teen body shriveled away. Dipper felt alive, more than he ever had before. Finally he released the demon's hand.

"And now, if you will take it away Mabel…"

"Of course, bro-bro!" She flicked her fingers. Dipper and Bill turned to see a tube poke out of the curtains.

"What the heck is that?!" Bill yelled.

"We were gonna just imprison you," Dipper whispered. "But when Ford said he was working on this weapon… we improvised. Good-bye Bill."

The quantum destabilizer fired. In a blast of lightning unlike anything that natural storms could conjure, Bill screeched as he was reduced to electrons. The box was similarly incinerated. Even the top of the cart got melted down; the only thing left were four plastic legs reaching up to where the box had formerly stood.

Ford stood frozen, unsure what to make of the scene. The audience, however, went wild. They stood, they clapped, they cheered. "Mystery Twins! Mystery Twins!" The setting sun stained the sky red now.

Dipper took Mabel's hand and bowed. As their faces were down, they glanced at each other. He could see his sister's eyes: they glimmered sapphire blue, glowing and brimming with energy. The wind whipped up and made her hair writhe like it had a life all of its own. She grinned. He grinned. They straightened back up.

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! But we must confess, we lied to you. That was not our only trick tonight. We have one last gift for you."

The crowd hushed as the twins looked about. Then slowly, the two rose into the air.

"Golly!" "How are they doing that?" "I can't see any wires!" "That's some good magic!"

When Dipper spoke again, his voice suddenly magnified, coming from every direction. "The gift is… our performance tonight is never going to end."

"Oh hoho, how cute!" Lazy Susan chuckled. "You darlings are just adorable in your showmanship!"

"Adorable, huh?" Dipper grinned as he snapped his fingers. Every tree around the Mystery Shack suddenly burst into flames. The crowd quickly lost its cheerful attitude as the inferno swept around them.

"Not so fast!" Bud stood up and pulled the memory gun from his shirt. "Yer not doing any more damage to our town!"

"Oh no," Mabel pretended to be afraid. "Whatever will we do Dipper? Oh, I know!" She jabbed her finger at Bud; with a flash of light, he was turned to stone from the feet up.

The audience had gone from applause to screams in less than a minute. They all scrambled away from the twins floating high in the sky. Wendy gently shook her head, unable to believe what was unfolding. Soos rubbed his head, just returning to reality as Dipper released him from his spell. Ford retreated back, the wind throwing dirt in his face and making his coat whip violently around his body. Only Stan pressed forward, staring up at Dipper and Mabel with shock and fear in his eyes.

"Kids!" he shouted. "Kids, what are you doing? Get down from there! Stop it!"

Amid the burning satisfaction in Dipper's heart, seeing Stan looking up at them like that was one thing he didn't feel comfortable with. Mabel obviously shared his sentiments, and she spoke down, "Stan… we're sorry." Then she snapped her fingers.

All at once, everything stopped. Stan blinked and saw the yard back to normal again. Dipper and Mabel were on the ground in front of him, looking petulant. "Kids? Kids, don't ever scare me like that again!"

"Sorry Grunkle Stan," they apologized together. As they stood there, the townsfolk came wandering back, staring at Stan confronting his two kids. Then they began to applaud. He had gotten the situation under control! He was a hero!

"Stanley?" Ford approached him from behind. "Stanley, I… I think I may have been hasty earlier. If you want to stay in the Shack, I can make room for one more."

"Really? You mean it Sixer?" Stan wore the biggest grin on his face. It was all so amazing, so perfect…

* * *

Dipper and Mabel stared down at the green bubble that Stan hung suspended in. He had his escape from their plans. That was their mercy.

"So Mabel? What do you say we… do some collecting?" Dipper held up his hand.

Mabel took it, answering with only a grin. They extended both of their free hands outward over the town, over the woods, over the world. It was all theirs now.

And no one could stop them.

* * *

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	28. Weirdmageddon

"Hmmmm…" Mabel studied her artwork. "Could use a little more weight there…"

She pointed behind and below her. A woman floated up screaming as Mabel zoomed in close to her sculpture. Humans had been frozen in handstands, pirouettes, downward dogs and upward dogs, all connecting into an obscene monument. A monument to what? Mabel didn't know and she didn't care; art for art's sake, after all.

"Now you go there," Mabel floated the woman down onto the top right corner of the structure. "And give me your best screaming face! Say, 'Ahh!'"

But when she said "Ahh!", she contorted her face into a hideous demon, a visage so horrific that no human could have conjured it in their imagination. The woman shrieked. Mabel snapped her fingers, forever freezing the fear in stone.

"That's it!" She grinned down at her handiwork like a child putting together a gingerbread house. "Now let's see, if we can get a few people hanging off the side there, and then from there work up to a spire, yeah!" Mabel waved her hand up. A couple houses down the street exploded into the air, and their inhabitants came floating over to her in huddled clumps. "Let's see, there's Free Pizza Guy, there's Toby…"

As she stared down the other way, Ford dove between a pair of houses. He tested the front door and found it unlocked. "Hello?" Upon hearing no one, he opened the door to see a huge hole in the middle of the roof. Ford set his jaw proud and stern, boldly concealing the fear he felt. He scanned the floor for anything useful. A dropped phone? Some old steel pots? That wiring sticking out of the wall? Ford gathered them together and tossed them in his backpack. Who knew when this scrap could turn out to be useful?

Looking up at Mabel floating in the distance, he moved to the next house. He tested the door. "Hello?"

"Ha!" A hand suddenly darted out and jabbed him in the nose. With a cry of shock Ford recoiled. The hand slammed the door shut again, and there was the sound of hushed voices and furniture scraping inside.

"Please, let me in! I'm not a looter!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he paused and eyed the pack he carried. "I'm not _that_ kind of looter, I promise!"

The door cracked open, held by a chain. He recognized the light skin and red hair, and the voice that asked, "Mr. Pines?"

"Wendy! Yes, it's me, please let me come in." To his relief she slid the chain open. "How are you doing?"

"Considering it's armageddon out there, I'm doing alright. Sit down, are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," he scoffed at the way she treated him like some sort of old man. "Trust me, I've been in dimensions far more hellish than this. Of course, the problem is more complex this time."

"Because it's your great-niece and -nephew tearing things apart instead of a demon?" Wendy hazarded.

"Exactly. I need a plan, and I need one fast."

Just as he spoke though, there were more footsteps running down the stairs. A gravelly voice shouted, "We got more chairs!" Four more kids appeared with furniture in their grasps, and halted when they spotted Ford.

"Oh, uh, Mr. Pines, I don't know if you've met everyone yet? This is Candy, Grenda, Gideon, and Pacifica."

"Stanford Pines?" Gideon stared at Ford with his trench coat, sideburns, and the plasma pistol on his belt. "But you ran the Mystery Shack! Were you just hiding this from us?"

"Oh boy, let me explain." Ford opened his mouth. "Too long. Just please go along with it right now." He motioned for everyone to sit on a pair of couches that faced each other. The whole scene was bizarre: an old man dressed for the apocalypse talking to four children and a teenager, in the middle of a comfortable living room with blood red light spilling in from outside. "We need a plan. How long have you all known Dipper and Mabel? Do you know anything that could be useful?"

"I know that they ruined my life!" Pacifica suddenly stood up, fists clenched. "They nearly killed my dad, and then they turned my friends against me — sorry, people I _thought_ were my friends," she glared at Grenda and Candy.

"Pacifica," Grenda's rough voice pled with her, "we said we were sorry!"

Candy nodded. "Mabel was just so convincing, we thought you were bullying her."

"Do you even know me?! Why would I do that to anyone?"

"You think that's bad?" Gideon turned to Ford. "Mabel made me dance with a mouse! It was… it was worse than it sounds, I promise. I had to live in a glass jar for days, weeks!"

"I'll be honest," Wendy scratched the back of her head, "I've been starting to think that Robbie's accident wasn't really an accident myself."

Ford listened to all of them. "I knew something was wrong with them, but the problem's even worse than I thought. We have to get those amulets off of them immediately!"

"What would that do?" Wendy asked.

"The amulets aren't just a source of power, they're malevolent entities in their own right. The gnomes called them the Devil's Stones; as soon as you get a taste of their abilities, they begin to tempt you to try more and more. If we can get those amulets off of Dipper and Mabel, we might be able to reason with them."

"Reason with them?!" Gideon blurted out. "Are you crazy, old man?!"

"It's the best chance we have. Now that they have Bill's powers, trying to take them down with a head-on assault would be fruitless, and in any case I'm not going to kill my great-niece and -nephew."

He stood up and walked to the window. The acid yellow sky outside was scarred with a glaring pink rip. The weirdness would only make the twins stronger, as long as Bill's power still followed the same rules… suddenly Ford had an idea.

"Gideon, let me see that symbol on your cape."

"Um…" He swished it around to reveal a five-pointed star with an eye in the middle.

"Candy, you have glasses. Wendy, you're an outdoorsman - outdoorswoman, sorry. Pacifica, do you have any shooting star clothing? Or do you ever make wishes on shooting stars?"

"...sometimes?" She leaned over and elbowed Wendy. "I think he's gone crazy…"

"No no, there's a way we could remove Bill Cipher's power from their bodies and still have them survive. But we need more people to make it work. Come with me, and take any food and scrap that you can. We're going to the Mystery Shack."

As they went out onto the streets, Ford kept his eyes wide open for any threats. One hand stayed glued to his belt. Anything could be infected with weirdness. Those telephone poles. That car. Those bushes—

A twig snapped.

"HA!"

With one fluid motion Ford fired a plasma shot into the foliage. The green leaves curled into blackened ashes before blasting into the air. The explosion revealed a squirrel, the tip of its tail still on fire, staring with shock at the blast.

"Uh… heheh, sorry kids." He felt sheepish as he pocketed his pistol. "Dimension hopping has made me jumpy. Let's… let's see if we can find anything decent to eat."

He opened the lid of a trashcan only to be ambushed. A wild four-legged creature yelped as it jumped on him. The kids all recoiled in terror.

"Back, back!" Ford managed to shove the beast off of him. "Eat plasma, you weirdified — oh my gosh…" He lowered his weapon as his jaw hung open. "...Fiddleford?"

"Eh?" The old man looked up. His eyes couldn't focus, and his arms were covered in soiled bandages. No shoes adorned his feet. He had a long beard that was knotted and matted with twigs. "Whossat?"

Ford turned the man's head towards him, trying to snap his fingers in front of his eyes. "Fiddleford, what did they do to you?!"

"Oh, that's Old Man McGucket," Wendy explained as she laid her hand on Ford's shoulder. "Dipper and Mabel didn't do this, he's always been this way."

"No… no, he hasn't." Ford stared back in horror at his friend, searching any hint of recognition in those eyes. He gulped. "Come on Fiddleford, let's… let's get you to the Shack."

* * *

"Subjects, twenty humans…"

Dipper wrote down the details his notepad, the ink burning gold on the page because why not? A small crowd of townsfolk scurried around below him as he floated in midair, surrounded by the wreckage of downtown. Sheer rock walls boxed them all in.

"Now let's see, what should we try?" Dipper thought for a moment. Then he gasped with realization. He snapped his fingers; the nearby arcade suddenly sparked, and the windows shattered as video games began to crawl and slither out. Dipper watched and nodded. "Interesting, they tend to scatter. Such a shame, they don't even try to help each other escape—"

He was interrupted when a laser from behind blasted a hole in his notes.

Dipper paused. Staring at the burning notepad, he willed it to repair itself. Then he slowly turned around. A small company of soldiers in futuristic gear stood before him. The leader had his pistol out, the tip still smoking.

"You know," he drawled as he stowed away his notes, "there are more polite ways to get my attention."

"Mason Pines," the leader projected his voice with authority, "you are in violation of the sacred rules of spacetime! For failing to comply with the guidance set out under the authority of Time Baby, you will face strict consequences unless you cease at once. This is your only warning."

Dipper pretended to be horrified. "Oh no, Time Baby! What on earth am I going to do?!" He chuckled and lowered himself down towards the men. "Look, if the worst you can send after me is a 'Time Baby', then you really gotta work on your threats. I mean, what even is a Time Baby?!"

As Dipper laughed, the leader vanished in a sparkle. Then he reappeared, along with what seemed like a small mountain.

Dipper's smile vanished. "Oh… _that's_ a Time Baby."

"MASON PINES!" The toddler's voice rumbled. His oversized body floated in a sleek seat that doubled as a dystopian throne and a high chair. "HEAR THIS: YOUR RIP INTO THIS DIMENSION THREATENS THE VERY FABRIC OF EXISTENCE! SURRENDER NOW, OR FACE MY TANTRUM."

Dipper sighed. "Alright, fine, I guess I don't really have a TAKE THIS!" With a yell he punched through the air. A fireball erupted from his fist; the sunlight paled in comparison. He could feel the heat singe his cheeks. It rocketed through the air and hit Time Baby in his face. It had the force of a thousand nuclear strikes, disintegrating anything it touched atom by atom. Steam filled Dipper's vision. "What do you have to say now you titanic toddler?!"

The steam cleared… and again his cocky smile vanished. Time Baby still hovered there, only the slightest soot stain on his cheek. His pudgy eyelids narrowed. "LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK. I NEED A NAP SOON."

A pair of bright red lasers shot from his eyes. Dipper jumped out of the way just in time. A hail of plasma shots followed him, but those he could deflect easily enough. The baby though… this was going to be a problem. He got ready to leap out again but got cut off with a CRASH. A single clumsy hand smashed through the wall he hid behind. It blindly groped for him. Dipper tried to get out of the way. Suddenly, the hand tore through the wall, knocking him to the ground. He turned onto his back just as Time Baby eyed him. The eyes charged up. Dipper grabbed his amulet.

In a poof of smoke, he vanished.

The next thing he knew, he collided with a massive stone sculpture. It toppled over, turning back into people.

"Dipper!" Mabel huffed and stomped her foot — or she would have, if she was on the ground. "I was building something!"

"Mabel, we got a big problem," he gasped. "There's this, this Time Baby? And he's trying to kill me! I couldn't destroy him, oh geez, I don't know what we're gonna do—"

"Dipper, Dip, calm down!" She floated down to him, and they both landed on the ground. "What do you mean you couldn't destroy him, I thought that Bill was all-powerful?"

"That's what I thought! But I couldn't, I threw everything I had at him and now… Mabel, what are we gonna do?"

"Well…" her eyes began to narrow playfully, "how fast do you think he can move? Think he could catch us if we took a trip around the world?"

"Yeah… yeah, that might work." Dipper nodded. "Where do you wanna go?"

"How about Italy?" They began to rise into the air and zoom across the landscape. "We can turn the Leaning Tower of Pisa into actual pizza! Then we'll see who mispronounced it, _Cindy._ "

She managed to get a laugh out of Dipper. "Yeah, let's do that. After all the world is our—"

For the third time in five minutes, Dipper got cut off. He and Mabel slammed face-first into a barrier they hadn't spotted.

"...ow," she groaned.

As Dipper peeled himself off, he tried to feel out the barrier with his hands. It shimmered at his touch. A psychedelic dome had covered the entirety of Gravity Falls, and through it the sky still appeared normal. All the weirdness they had unleashed… it hadn't even escaped the town borders.

"What is this?" Mabel asked beside him.

"I don't know," Dipper muttered. "But you know who might?"

He glanced at Mabel, and watched her confusion give way to a grin. "Oh Grunkle Ford…" she cooed.


	29. Shattered Minds

Ford peered out of the bushes and glanced around. The porch of the Mystery Shack was empty. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he motioned to the others. "Get inside, quickly!"

Gideon, Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica darted into the gift shop. Wendy shepherded them all inside, her eyes constantly scanning. Bringing up the rear was McGucket, humming to himself like he was strolling in a city park.

"Come on old man!" Wendy huffed as she scanned the skies.

"Just leave him be!" Ford tried to wave her aside. At the same time, he put his arm behind Fiddleford and tried to guide him inside faster. Once they had gotten across the threshold, Ford closed the door. "Okay kids, I need you to clear away a space on the floor. Move these shelves against the far wall, please."

They all began to clear merchandise from the shelves. Pacifica could be heard grumbling, "Didn't realize this was going to involve child labor…"

Ignoring her, Ford guided McGucket over to the living room. "Fiddleford, what… what happened to you?"

"Eh? Oh this!" He held up his bandaged arm. "That's a funny story. See, my raccoon wife and I once got into an argument over—"

"No, no! Fiddleford, I know the real you. This isn't the real you!" In desperation Ford grasped the man's shoulders and shook him. The eyes seemed to bounce aimlessly. Ford felt a pit grow in his throat and spread to his stomach. "The Fiddleford I knew could take a screwdriver and use it to go to the moon."

"Oh hey, I know about the moon! The moon and I hambone out a jig together every night, yee hehe!"

Ford patted in his pockets. Then he spotted Journal 2 on the coffee table. "Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, this is who you were." He opened the book and showed off the pages. "You were a genius, and… and my best friend…"

He flipped through the journal. Fiddleford's eyes barely saw the pictures and words… but the more they took in, the more they began to focus. The broken old man reached with trembling fingers and took the journal for himself. One by one he turned through the pages. Then he looked up. In that instant he seemed to have aged a decade.

"S-stanford?"

"That's it! It's me, Stanford!" Ford felt a snap of relief in his chest. "Remember our work?"

"Our work?" Fiddleford screwed up his face in concentration. "Ehh… kind of? The gremloblin… the portal… the triangle… evil eyes, evil blue eyes! The twins! They work for the one-eyed beast!" With a yell he tossed the journal away.

"Shh, Fiddleford, it'll be okay!" Ford set his hands on the old man's shoulders, trying to calm him down. "I know it hurts, but try to remember."

"Euggghh…" Fiddleford grimaced. "I don't want to remember. I just want to forget…"

"I know Fiddleford, and… that's my fault." He bowed his head. "I should have stopped when I was ahead. I should have listened to you, and now look at the state you're in." Ford bit his bottom lip as he took in a deep breath. "I know that nothing I can do can get you back the thirty years you've wasted. I… I'm…" He squeezed his eyes shut. "God, you must hate me."

Ford looked down. He couldn't bear to look his former colleague in the eye. Then he felt something he didn't expect:

A pat on the back, and a tickle of old beard on his sideburns.

"Thirty years of forgettin' hasn't worked," Fiddleford seemed to struggle with his words. "Maybe it's time to try forgivin'..."

Ford could only blink at first. Then with a grateful sigh, he hugged Fiddleford back. "Thank you…"

Just at that moment, he heard Wendy behind him: "Uh, don't want to break up this moment, but we cleared the floor Mr. Pines? And the world is kinda still ending outside."

"Yes yes, right." He let go of McGucket and cleared his throat. "Okay, here's what I need. Get the kids to draw these symbols on the floor:" Ford opened up Journal 2 and flipped to the page on Bill Cipher, pointing to the cipher wheel. "Wendy, are you feeling up to going back out there to help me find people?"

"Only been training for the end times my whole life sir." She gave a chipper salute.

"That's the spirit! Go take this in there. And Fidds…" he turned back. "Will you help me save the world and my niblings?"

"I'll do the best I can," the old man smiled.

"Good. Because before I can save either of those two things, I need to save my brother. Here's what I'm thinking…"

* * *

"COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE."

Time Baby's voice boomed as he floated over ruined buildings. Dipper peeked out from behind the corner of the bowling alley before he darted out, Mabel following close by. "I'll give us some cover," she whispered. She snapped her finger; a line of trees a block away lurched. Their trunks split into long moaning faces, and their roots tore from the ground. Frail-fingered branches grasped at chunks of houses and cars, then tossed them at Time Baby.

"FOOLISH CREATURES!" He rumbled. With his attention diverted, the twins could easily sneak away.

"Like taking candy from a baby," Dipper snickered. "Speaking of which, have you seen Candy or Grenda around?"

"Nuh-uh. They're probably hiding out in a cave somewhere. And how about you? Seen Wendy around?" she teased.

Dipper blushed hard, accidentally setting a nearby tree aflame. "W-why do you ask?"

"Dipper, this is your chance! You can be the perfect person that Wendy wants! You can control space and matter, landing the girl of your dreams should be a cinch now!"

He paused, taking in the realization. A stupid grin came over his face. "Where do you think she is?"

Right on cue, "Dipper! Mabel!"

Wendy ran out before them, waving her arms. She had on a white tanktop with her plaid sweater tied around her waist, along with blue jeans and boots. A bandanna was wrapped about the crown of her head, and her axe hung on her back. Mabel took Dipper close and whispered in his ear, "Go get 'er, bro!"

"Guys, I was just looking for you out here. I don't know what's going on, but I _want_ to know. What happened on stage? And what do you think you're getting out of this now?"

"Simple: no one's ever going to mess with us again," Dipper announced proudly. "Well, no one after we get rid of the giant evil floating baby. So, uh…" he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "how have you been?"

"Surviving. Barely." Her eyes flicked from his face to the amulet, and back again. "Look, you proved that you can tear a hole in between dimensions. That's great, any chance you could perhaps turn it _off_ now?"

Dipper looked back at Mabel for support. She motioned for him to continue. _She's all yours,_ a familiar voice spoke in his mind, but he couldn't tell if it was Mabel's. At the moment he didn't care. With a deep breath he turned back to Wendy. "Wendy… there's something I gotta tell you."

"Oh no…" her face curled into disgust. "Please don't say what I think you're going to say."

"What… what are you talking about?"

"Are you about to actually say that you like me?"

The pre-emptive catch set Dipper off-kilter. His shock quickly turned to anger, which he tried to slam a lid down on. "So what if I was going to? You don't know that's what I was going to say…"

"Look, I've dated lots of guys, and I know the routine. I can see it your eyes and the way you talk to me. I know that you're into me. You haven't been as subtle as you think you've been. But Dipper, I'm just too old for you. You're twelve, I'm fifteen, it'd just be kinda weird…"

"Hold on!" Dipper snapped his fingers. A cloud of smoke descended over his head. He felt his body morph, his limbs lengthen. When the smoke vanished, Wendy took a step back. "What do you think now?"

Dipper now stood eye-to-eye with Wendy. He had donned himself in an aquamarine tuxedo, with his amulet still glistening beneath his neck. On a whim, he poofed a rose between his teeth. Wendy didn't speak for a while.

"Wendy, if you choose me then I'll give you everything you could ask for." He raised one hand; the broken asphalt smoothed into glistening gold. An entire neighborhood crumbled, and in its place sparkling crystal sprouted. The sunlight danced and glistened off the surfaces as the stones solidified into a massive palace. "Come on, what do you say?"

She looked at him. "Dipper…"

His heart leapt a bit.

"...are you out of your mind?!"

Her words stabbed into his joy and left it to slowly die. "Wendy, what's not to like?"

"I'll tell you what's not to like: I trusted you and your sister, and you went and ended the world! You nearly killed Robbie, and tell me Dipper, where's my family?" She crossed her arms. "Tell me right now that my dad and brothers haven't been scooped up for some crazy sculpture or experiment that you've been running! And you think I'm gonna fall in LOVE with you?!"

Every word dug the knife into Dipper's heart. He felt his lips twisting into a scowl _ungrateful._ His teeth gritted until they hurt _stupid_. One hand clasped his amulet. The other lifted Wendy into the air. His fingers itched to clench and crush her there. He didn't hear her shouts. "I am the most powerful person in the world! You should consider yourself LUCKY that I offered you to be my queen!"

"Hey bro?" Mabel sounded from far away. " _We_ are the most powerful people? And I thought _I_ was going to be queen?"

Dipper ticked his head to brush her aside _shut up._ He turned Wendy upside down with a yank. He could barely see her, so much blue _why bother no no she's yours you deserve her you just take_

"What do you want?" he demanded. "I can make myself look like literally anyone, anything you want! I can give you literally anything you want! I can give you a star, I can make an entire constellation in your image! I can give you money, I can make you famous, what do you want from me?!"

The blood roared in his ears, but he could still hear her answer: "Not you."

 _kill her turn her to stone BETRAYED YOU keep her ALWAYS HAPPENS trophy take apart her atoms one by one_ dipper _MAKE HER PAY destroy_ Dipper _YOURS_ "DIPPER!"

He tore his arm from Mabel's grasp. She was pointing down the street. "Look!"

She gestured towards Stan's bubble. A small column of smoke rose towards it, and riding atop was Ford. An improvised jetpack shot him into the air. "Good work Wendy!" he hollered.

"YOU WERE ONLY TRICKING US!" Dipper screamed at Wendy, still floating in the air. "Mabel, stop Ford! I'm going to teach Wendy what happens to people who cross us." He summoned a fireball in one hand and let the flame illuminate his angry visage...

"Hold on a second," Mabel took his arm and lowered it. "Why do you think you get to boss me around, Mr. 'Most-Powerful'? Last I checked, you wouldn't have even gotten the powers without my help!"

"Come on Mabel, I did the book work, and that takes some real smarts to do. Now hurry, he's gonna get into the bubble!"

"You're saying I don't have 'smarts'?! Who talked Gideon into giving up Journal 2? Who took down the town darling Pacifica? I'm plenty smart enough, so maybe YOU should go get Ford!"

She gave him a shove, knocking him forward. Dipper loosed his hold on Wendy, who fell with a thud and an "Ooph!" He glared at his sister, who stood there defiantly. "What makes YOU think you can push me around?!"

He shoved her back, this time actually pushing her to the ground. When his hands hit her body there was a clap of thunder. The skies darkened above their heads, and in the shadows he could see her eyes glinting a cruel blue.

 _she wants your power_

He should have seen it all along. All this time, pretending to be by his side, all to soften him, turn a blind eye.

 _she wants the amulet she will kill_

Everyone else had betrayed him, why did he expect anything different?

 _she will kill kill first don't let her take amulet don't let take me_

"Go ahead Dipper!" Mabel bellowed. "You wanna be number one so badly? Show me what you've got!"

With a swipe of the hand he hurled a flaming wall at her. She swished her cape and landed on her feet, two knives in her hands. Mabel hurled one at her brother, which divided into over two dozen. He swiped his hand and melted them into liquid steel. Then he willed huge chunks from the ground. Each chunk hurled itself at his sister. She dodged one. Sliced through another. Tossed eight blades into the air. Kept two in her hands. Aimed all ten at his heart. Dove forward…

With a deft motion he froze her in midair. Every inch of his power shivered, threatening to give way, but he had practiced these spells more. Mabel had relied on her knives _stupid serves right_ and now she was going to pay the price.

"I said GO GET FORD!" With a furious roar, he hurled Mabel towards the bubble. Dipper watched his sister fly back screaming until she hit the surface. The green rippled as she disappeared inside. He still panted from the fight when he felt a cough behind him.

"Wow, uh, Dipper…" Wendy still stood there. "Not gonna lie, that was… really impressive. I guess, if the whole 'being your queen' thing is still an option… I might give it a shot after all? I'm a sucker for a good fighter," she chuckled.

 _Good girl_

Dipper couldn't help but give a proud smirk. "Know what? I think I could give you a second chance." He held out his arms for a hug. Wendy accepted. "Before we do anything, we gotta get Ford to—"

As soon as Wendy's arms went around him, one hand grabbed the back of the amulet. The other grabbed the stone. Dipper felt the cord snap. Wendy shoved him back. Unsheathed her axe.

"WENDY DON'T—"

The blade came down. The stone fractured, and so did Dipper's mind. He could hear himself, feel himself crying out in agony. He screamed in two voices. One of them wasn't his but yet familiar. Fire. Fire in his head. A tumor being dragged out. Latching on. Wanting to stay. Fire consuming. Blue light dying. His eyes wet. Blue turning to red. Blood, blood dripping to his hands. His head would burst like a walnut. Make it stop. Make it break. Anything please!

Dipper fell forward on his hands and knees. The grass singed under his palms, and tendrils of smoke curled up lazily. He gulped. The boy tried to stand, only for his legs to give out. Beads of sweat dripped from his hair and rolled down his arm.

"...Mabel?"

He fell back a bit. Feeling bleary-eyed, he saw Wendy standing there uncertainly.

"Wendy? Where's Mabel?" His memory came back to him through a bluish haze. His stomach began to drop, and he felt like vomiting. "Mabel?!"

"THERE YOU ARE!" A voice boomed behind him. He turned to see Time Baby looming overhead. "NO MORE PEEKABOO!"

"MABEL!"


	30. Stan's Bubble

Ford clutched to the jetpack, struggling to keep his eyes open as he rocketed towards the bubble. He heard claps of thunder and turmoil by the kids. He had to stay focused though. His glasses were stowed in his trench coat, but he could still see the huge green bubble drawing closer. Ford flinched as he felt himself break through the skin…

The jetpack vanished.

He yelped as he felt himself fall a few feet onto what felt like porcelain. Despite its smooth surface, though, he had no trouble keeping traction on it to stand up. Pulling out his glasses, Ford looked around. Everything was white. The air smelled fresh and pure.

"Hello?"

His voice seemed to get sucked into the air. There weren't even walls for it to echo off of. He stepped forward cautiously.

"Stanley?"

Suddenly there was an echo. From far away Ford could hear "Stanley… Stanley… Stanley…" It wasn't his voice though, and as he listened closely he realized it wasn't even a single voice. He began to run forward. The sound grew louder, and he realized it was a chant: "Stanley! Stanley! Stanley!"

"What's going on-" Before Ford could finish his question, he felt himself run into a wall. "Oof!" He peeled his cheek away from the surface and felt at it. His hands trailed back and forth; it felt like brick, except for this ridge… the smooth vertical post of a doorjamb. Ford found the doorknob and turned. As he did, the door swam into view. He stepped through.

"OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU STANLEY!"

Ford found himself brutally mobbed by five adoring fans. His glasses were knocked off-balance as they picked him up in a hug without even asking first. "Whoa whoa, hold on, I'm not Stanley! It's Stanford, his brother!"

"Oh…" they suddenly dropped him, giving him a disappointed glare. "Of all the nerve…"

"I'm trying to find him though, can you tell me where he is?"

"At Mystery Manor of course! Geez, someone needs to watch TV!" They all laughed at Ford as he walked away embarrassed.

"Watch more TV…" he grumbled. "TV rots your brain, you know!" he hollered back as they walked away laughing. "Alright, what have you been up to in here, Stanley?"

Ford took a good look around him. He appeared to be in some urban amalgamation: the street he stood on felt like Glass Shard Beach, but the tall skyscrapers in the distance put New York City to shame. The sidewalks and asphalt were webbed with cracks, and the buildings had been bleached by the sun, but the block still sparked with life. Children played in a broken fire hydrant down the street, while their mothers hovered close and the fathers laid back drinking sodas. A couple of small sedans puttered down the street; one of them honked, and a guy rolled down the window to call out to a friend on the street.

"Meat on a stick!" A cart vendor pushed his wares down the sidewalk, calling out with absolutely no passion whatsoever. He recited a tired jingle: "Meat on a stick, it's a real treat. Sometimes it's turkey, sometimes pigs' feet."

"Strange..." Ford couldn't help but wonder aloud. "It's just our childhood home. Why would the twins put him here?"

He walked past the glass windows of a department store as he spoke. Suddenly an ad inside caught his eye. Ford pressed his face against the window and stared aghast at what he saw.

"'Stan Co. vacuum cleaners: They suck 50% more than others'?" He slid down a ways. "'Stan Co. build-it-yourself genuine counterfeit Swedish furniture: now with extra hair-pulling frustration."

"Do you mind buddy?"

Ford looked over and saw a very cross window washer gesturing at the smear he had left on the glass. "Sorry, I…. I just got excited."

"You and every grubby-handed kid in town." He brushed Ford aside and began to spritz the window.

"By the way, would be able to point me in the direction of Mystery Manor?"

The window washer pointed towards the skyscrapers without looking away from his work. Ford walked along the sidewalk, watching the humdrum of Glass Shard Beach give way to a bustling metropolis. Cars and taxis honked. The drivers shouted at each other, swearing so fluently that Ford had to raise his brow. Throngs of people choked up the sidewalks as they ran between stores. Clothing outlets, restaurants, electronics and souvenir shops all corralled in the fake inhabitants of the world.

And Stan was all over it.

Everyone wore Mystery Shack apparel, donned hats that declared "Stan #1", and carried armfuls of Stan bobbleheads. Restaurants served Stancakes for breakfast, and Stan Co. Mystery Meat for dinner. Stan Co. made virtually everything that was being sold. Video screens ran ads constantly, and suddenly their audio came on. Stan stood there waving confidently.

"Hey there folks, Stan Pines here with your hourly product launch! Today, I will be rolling out… uh…" he looked around, then suddenly grabbed a red stapler from off-screen. "Stan Co. staplers! Stanplers! Uh… Stan-Staplers, yeah."

"Sir," a voice off-screen said, "that's just a regular stapler."

"No, it's a Stan-Stapler!" He whipped out a marker and turned around. When Stan faced the camera again, "Stan Co." scrawled across the stapler's top. "Get 'em in stores now!"

The crowd erupted around Ford. "Oh my god, a Stan-Stapler!" "Just released!" "Gonna buy ten and roll around in the pile!" He felt them all stampede into the nearest store. Ford managed to hold onto a street pole and keep himself from being sucked along with the crowd.

"They've lost their minds!" Ford exclaimed. "I don't know what they see in — no, no they're not real. They're just fake people. I… I gotta get Stanley out of here. Stanley!" Ford ran through the city streets calling out again and again. He ran through Stan Avenue, Stan Street, Stan Boulevard. People turned to stare as his shoes hit the pavement. Finally he stopped and looked up ahead.

In an instant, Ford knew this was Mystery Manor. It looked just like the Mystery Shack, except ten times bigger and a hundred times costlier. A bust of Stan sat in the front walkway, and behind it were two grand doors adorned with golden dollar signs. Ford strode up to them and gave them a shove. As they creaked open he could see inside. Mystery Manor had been set up like one of the world's most lavish museums… yet still showed off the same cheap exhibits that Stan had pasted together. Ford shouted: "Stanley! Where are you?"

"—and right this way ladies and gentlemen," Stan's gruff voice echoed from the side as he led a huge tour group into the main hall, "for our last stop on our tour, we have…" His eyes fell on Ford. There was a moment's surprise. Then he quickly swept it aside as he proclaimed, "We have the world's nerdiest old man! He'd rather meet rocket scientists than rock stars, and don't even get him started on Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons! I mean, he still plays with dolls and board games..."

"Hey!" Ford snapped. "It's a roleplaying adventure that lets you explore the deepest reaches of fantasy!"

"Ha, classic Sixer!" The tour group laughed with Stan as he beamed with pride. "Alright folks, that's it for today. Hit the gift shop on the way out for your brand new Stan-Staplers, and don't forget to tell your friends to come see me, Mr. Mystery!" He cackled as he watched them run off. "Ah, poor suckers…"

"Stanley," Ford got his brother's attention again. "Come on, I'm gonna get you out of here."

"Thanks Sixer! I sure could go for some lunch right now."

"What? No! I'm getting you out of this bubble. You need to get back home."

"Home schmome, this place is fantastic! The kids put it together for me!"

Ford blinked in surprise. "...what?"

"Yeah, there were these… I dunno, other versions of them, I think? And they said that they'd used their magic to give me the ultimate paradise! I mean, look at this place!" Stan held his arms up with glee. "So I don't really need your help, Mr. Hero. If you wanna stick around though, we got some knick-knacks you might be interested in." He gestured to the gift shop.

Ford stared, his face aghast. "You have no idea what's going on outside, do you? Dipper and Mabel are destroying everything! I need your help if we're going to stop them. Now come on!" He tried to grab Stan's hand, only to have it yanked away again.

" _You_ need my help?" Stan's brow began to furrow. "I should've known, the only reason you ever want to see me is when you need me. You want to be Mr. Save-The-Day, just like always. Well you know what? I'm not gonna help you!" He sat down, a chair materializing just in time. "You can save the world without me, or not at all."

Ford gritted his teeth. "Stanley, how can you be so obstinate?! You're going to let the world be destroyed just to spite me? I can't believe you're so selfish!"

" _I'm_ selfish?!" Stan leaned forward in his chair and jabbed his thumb to his chest. " _I'm_ the one being selfish?!"

"So you're going to let the whole world be overrun by weirdness? After I went to all this trouble to get to you?"

"Oh-ho!" Stan raised his eyebrows in triumph, pointing at Ford. "So _you_ don't like it when you try to rescue someone only to have them not be grateful? How does it feel Ford? Does it feel good? I hope it feels _real_ good!"

Ford opened his mouth to yell back… but he couldn't think of what to say. He just glared to the side, his heart brimming with hurt and anger. He took off his glasses to rub at his eyes. "Stanley, please, I'm… I'm just asking for your help. Please just hear me out—"

But before he could say anything more, the roof exploded.

"GREAT-UNCLE FORD!"

Both Stans recoiled as the roof gave way to a swirling sky. Mabel hovered there, incensed beyond all rationality. Her eyes glowered bright blue, and sparks arced around her body to the ground. Wild winds whipped her hair around.

"What are you doing in here?!" She lowered herself inside, the howling gales pushing against Ford. "This bubble is only for Stan!" With a snap of her fingers, dark blue chains snapped his feet and hands together, making Ford topple over. "I need your help anyways, come on!"

"Augh! Stanley, come on, snap out of it!" He twisted around as he felt himself dragged across the ground. "Do something!"

"He doesn't have to listen to you," Mabel spat at him. With a sweep of her hand he was lifted up to her eyes. "Now, you're going to get the barrier broken so that _I_ can take over the world, and make Dipper sorry that he tried to attack me!"

"Whoa, hold the phone!"

Stan's gruff voice cut through the swirling winds. Everything seemed to pause as Mabel swiveled her eyes downwards. "Stan?"

"What do you mean your brother tried to attack you?"

Mabel began to float back to the floor, her eyes still seething with rage. "He kept trying to push me around, and tell me what to do! Then when I told him no, he forced me in here. But I'm gonna show him! I'll-I'll take his amulet for myself! I don't need him, I don't need anyone else!" As she screamed her voice strained to breaking. The air crackled with electricity, and the faux reality seemed to tremble around her.

Stan took a few paces back, shielding himself from the storm. "Mabel sweetie, calm down!" She stared him right in the eye. Her hair whipped over her face, partially obscuring it. She clenched her hands into trembling fists which glowed with power. "Listen, just… just quiet down alright. What happened between you and your brother?"

"He… he kept telling me what to do!" There was a thunderclap at the outburst. "And then I didn't want to do it! And then I tried to shove him, because I got mad…" Her voice cracked again. "I… I could only see blue… and then he… he…" Her anger began to run dry, and Ford recognized a new emotion. "He… I…" The chains around Ford loosened. Suddenly Mabel was on her knees, her face in her hands. Her body shook. When she looked up, neon blue tears ran from her eyes. "I don't know what I was thinking! Dipper hates me now and it's all my fault!"

"Come on, Mabel," Stan cautiously came forward and knelt beside her. "So you got into a little rough-housing, all siblings do that."

"No, this was different. I-I wanted to hurt him…"

Ford eyed the amulet. He motioned to Stanley, trying to indicate her neck. Stan gave him a firm nod.

"Honey, look at me." The girl looked up at Stan kneeling there. "Sometimes, you know, we… we do things to people we love that we regret. We say hurtful things, do hurtful things, things that we wish could undo." Stan's voice also sounded different now. The proud snappiness had gone, and now seemed full of age and fatigue.

All of a sudden, Ford really took a look at his brother. For the first time since his teens he saw Stanley without a lens of anger or urgency. His hair had greyed, his once broad shoulders drooped, and his neck hunched over. Ford looked down at his own hands, saw the skin curled into wrinkles and calluses. It hit him: how much time had he and Stanley wasted on fighting and grudges? How much were they wasting now, and how much more could they afford to waste?

"You and your brother have something special," Stan took great care in resting his hand on Mabel's shoulder. "Life's really sucked so far, and you shouldn't have gone through it, but you and Dipper _have_ gotten through it, together. That's something that… many people wish they had."

Stan didn't say the words with any trace of malice, but Ford could still feel the twinge of guilt. He walked around the two of them as Mabel nodded slowly. "I… I don't know what came over me, Grunkle Stan."

"Know what I think?" He ran his hand through her hair, his fingers lingering on the headband. Mabel reached up to keep it safe. "I think this amulet's been messin' with ya…"

"No, no! It's helped me so much, I can do so much with it…"

"But are they things you wanna do?" Stan arched his eyebrow. "Trust me, I know a con artist when I see one, even if it's a stone. I think it's using you."

Mabel rested her forehead on her hand. Ford couldn't see her face, but she seemed to be in great distress.

Then with trembling fingers, she reached up for the headband.

Ford felt a thrill as Mabel slowly slipped it off, gazing at the amulet. Then she squeezed her eyes shut, turned away, and handed it off to Stan. He took it, but before he could hand it to Ford, Mabel suddenly ran into him. Her entire body was shaking. "I'm s-so sorry, Grunkle Stan."

"It's okay kid," he held up the headband to Ford as his other arm hugged her. Ford snatched it away. "This'll all be over soon enough." Stan embraced the young girl, and Ford saw his face fill with peace and joy: a peace and joy that he hadn't seen since they'd left Glass Shard Beach.

 _please_

He turned his attention to the amulet in his hand. The stone burned, and a desperate voice begged in his head. _please I can help won't be trouble just wear give you power anything you want fame praise everything you want please_ With a scowl he dropped to his knees. Picked up a large stone from the broken building around him. Raised it over the amulet. _NO STOP FOOL IDIOT CURSE YOU TO DAMNATION_

Ford swung down.

The stone cracked. Ford heard screaming in his head. His fingers burned as neon blue liquid dribbled from the cracks, like blood from a wound. More apparent was the world around them flickering. "Mabel! What's happening?!" Stan yelled in panic as Mabel seemed to tense in his arms. The bubble world shuddered and glitched like a computer screen going out. The ground beneath them split. Ford beat the amulet again. The screaming silenced, but again Mabel shuddered in Stan's grasp. Her head suddenly hung down.

The bubble vanished.

Ford found himself falling into the town, hitting a rooftop with an "Ooof!" He groaned as he tried to sit himself up. By the time he had righted himself, he saw Stan shaking Mabel's limp body.

"Mabel! Mabel, can you hear me?!" He turned to look at Ford. "Sixer, come on, you gotta do something! What's wrong with her, I thought destroying the amulet would cure her!"

"It should have, unless… it got too deep into her brain." He gulped. "Come on, pick her up. We gotta head to the Shack."

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	31. Building Bridges

Dipper struggled to keep his eyes open as Wendy grabbed him by the hand. "Come on!" she yelled. Her voice echoed and bounced in his head. The front of his brain ached; it felt like a clock, and the door had sprung open to let gears and wires tumble out. The ground seemed to tilt beneath his feet. Dipper let his body hit the wall of the alleyway, dragging his suit along it.

"COME BACK HERE!" Time Baby bellowed. His huge pudgy hand tried to grasp for them, making the buildings crumble. "YOU CANNOT FLEE A TIME GIANT FOREVER! FOREVER IS MINE TO COMMAND!"

"Hold on a second," a voice drifted up from below. Wendy paused and watched Time Baby glance down. One of his soldiers seemed to be talking. "Forever is yours to command… I don't think that's really how you would say that—"

"SILENCE!" Time Baby fired his lasers down at the ground. Wendy took the opportunity to yank Dipper behind a dumpster. "THEY'RE GONE. DARN MY LACK OF OBJECT PERMANENCE! LET'S SEARCH OVER THERE!"

"Time Baby, I'm pretty sure they're just down this alleyway—"

"SILENCE!" Again the lasers fired. There was the sound of jogging, which grew fainter and fainter. Wendy breathed in relief before turning to Dipper again. He felt his back against the dumpster, the rest of his body sprawled on the concrete, trying to blink his eyes open. Everything around him came from far away…

"Dipper?" She snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. He managed to turn his head up to look at her. "Come on Dip, stay with me."

He nodded, again squeezing his eyes shut. "Wendy, you… you saved me."

"Well, I may not be into you, and you may have ended the world, but I'm not about to leave a kid behind to be killed by a Time Baby." She blinked. "Man, one of those things you never think you'd say. Huh."

Dipper couldn't help but give a weak chuckle. "You're… a nicer person than me, that's for sure."

He opened his eyes to see her kneeling in front of him. "Dipper, I want you to tell me something. Did you have anything to do with Robbie's car crash?"

"No, I didn't—" The lie flowed out by instinct before he could think about it. Something about the firm, yet non-threatening way she looked at him seemed to stir his heart. "...yes, I cut his brakes."

She gave a firm nod. "Can you make me a promise?" He didn't reply. "After we end the apocalypse, you and your sister need to stop hurting people to get your way. Nobody here is going to take advantage of you, nobody is out to get you. Gravity Falls can be your sanctuary. If you keep trying to push everyone around, you're going to push everyone away… including Mabel."

Dipper flinched in shame. "I already did that, so too late there…"

"We're gonna get her back though. I promise." She offered him a smile, before standing and holding out her hand for him to take. "Wanna make things right again?"

Dipper stared at the hand. So many times he'd been betrayed. So many times he'd been mocked, bullied, kicked when he was down. So many times he'd been helped up only to be cast aside again. Yet she spoke to him calmly, even after what he'd done, and she'd always been a girl of her word. He took a deep breath of determination.

He took her hand. "Let's get my sister back."

"͡But wh͢y ͘wou͢ld͏ ̸y̷o҉u ̨wan͢n͞a̧ ͜d̵o̷ ͜t͜h̵a̷t?͢!"

Dipper suddenly pressed his back against the dumpster, his eyes wide. He recognized that voice… "No, we — we killed you…"

"Dip, what's going on?" Wendy leaned forward. "Come on man, what's the matter with _GRAWWWW!"_ Her face suddenly tore open. Too many teeth. Not enough eyes. Human flesh is NOT THAT COLOR!

Dipper shrieked and punched at the dumpster, sending it flying behind him with his power. "Get back, get back!"

But suddenly Wendy was normal again. "Man, I'm just trying to help you! What's the big deal?"

"N-no, I want your help, I just… you turned into a horrible creature for a second. I feel like I'm—"

"Los̛i͝ng͜ ̨yo͝u͜r m͡i͠nd̵?" An old familiar cackle sounded in his head. Dipper pressed his hands to his temples as his forehead surged with pain.

"Bill…"

"Amazing what you can do with only half your power, ain't it!?" The triangle flashed before his eyes. Dipper tried to blink him away. "You didn't think you could get away with tearing me apart, did you? I may not have the strength to free your dimension now, but I can certainly open up your mind!"

"Dipper, what's happening?" Wendy demanded. "Do you want my plehh o tawn?"

Dipper shook his head. "Tuhwo id ooey ace?" He felt himself thinking the right words, and mouthing the right words, but he heard them garbled and mixed. Bill's voice cackled again as a three-eyed blob crawled along the wall on spider legs.

 _It's not real,_ Dipper tried to shout in his head. _It's not real, it's not real…_

"Who's to say what's not real, huh?" A dozen eyes appeared above Dipper as Bill gloated. "Didn't _you_ open that rip to the Nightmare Realm? Anything's possible now!"

"I'll close it," Dipper growled. He knew that Wendy was only picking up half this conversation, but he was gonna make this triangle pay. "I opened it up, I'll close it again!" He reached his hands for the sky—

"Woops!" Dipper felt a sudden pain in his ribs, making him double over in agony. "Uh-oh, I just found the pain center! Let's see, eenie…" His arm suddenly spasmed. "Meenie…" His stomach broiled, forcing the boy to his knees. Dipper retched as Bill continued: "Minie…" His hands burned with pins and needles of fire. "YOU!" His throat felt like barbed wire got shoved down. Dipper clasped his hands over his neck, unable to articulate a scream. "Oh, this is almost as fun as destroying a planet. Almost. Still angry about that though."

Dipper tried his best to tune out Bill's voice. "Wendy…" he rasped, "help me… get Ford…"

With grim determination she worked her hands around Dipper's crumpled body, holding him up in her arms. "Let's get this armageddon cancelled."

* * *

"Come on, Stanley!"

Mabel heard Ford's voice from far away. She opened her eyes to take a bleary look at the world around them. The sky was still stained an acidic yellow through dead brown tree branches. Tilting her head to one side, she saw Stan's chin above her. Tilting to the other side, she saw Ford weaving between tree trunks. She soon caught a glimpse of a squat building, and if her face hadn't been so exhausted Mabel might have actually smiled at the sight of the Mystery Shack. As they raced across the yard the door opened.

"Mr. Pines!" Pacifica quickly gestured for him and pointed inside. "We need your help with…" Her voice trailed off as she spotted Mabel. Her brow furrowed. "Her too?"

"'Her too'?!" Stan blurted out. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Dipper's been acting… freaky. Wendy brought him back a little while ago, he's in the kitchen."

At the sound that her brother was in trouble, Mabel managed to keep her eyes open and actually lift her head. "Dipper?" The effort left her dizzy, but she fought against it. She squirmed her legs out of Stan's grasp in a silent demand to be put down.

"Mabel, calm down honey," Stan said in a voice that was obviously not calm. "We'll take care of him."

"Dipper…" Mabel wormed her way onto the floor, landing on her feet. She stumbled to the side before tottering forward. The room spun around her. Many shadowy figures filled the room but she ignored them all. She grabbed the wall with trembling hands and worked her way to the doorjamb. "Dip…"

Dipper was tied to a chair, and floated five feet above the ground. His eyes were frozen open. His hands curled up like claws. The kitchen table, the fridge, and the contents of the countertops all floated around him. Her brother's neck strained as he seemed to fight a war within his own brain. Then he caught sight of her.

"Heya, Mabel!" He grinned far too wide for any human. "Been a long time since I laid eye on ya! Oh wait, that was just a few days ago, when you and Dippin' Sauce here tried to blast me! How's my power been working for ya? Has it been fun? I hope it's been a blast!"

She shook her head in horror. "When I get my hands on you…"

"Really? I'd be more concerned about staying on my feet!" Mabel could feel fingers prodding at her mind, and she brushed them off. "Oh don't worry, you aren't as much fun as your meatsack sibling here, ain't that right?"

Suddenly Dipper's head jerked, and he gasped, "Mabel! I'm trying to fight him off! There are bugs everywhere, I can't tell what's real, I don't know what I'm going to do!" Terror flared in his eyes as he gripped the chair. The ropes contained his body, but his powers still arced around the room. Suddenly a spark flew out and nearly zapped Mabel. She flinched as it blasted the wall right beside her head; she didn't have the energy to actually dodge it. She needed a way to get Dipper under control…

"Ford?" She called into the other room. "Ford! Can you get something for me upstairs?"

Minutes later, Ford returned with a fistful of unicorn hair. Taking it from his hands, Mabel tottered over to where Dipper floated in the air. She pulled him down and began to tie the strands around his wrists.

"M-Mabel?" Dipper stuttered. "What are you doing?"

"Putting my crafting skills to good use," she shook her head again to keep herself awake. Her fingers fumbled with the knots a couple times. Finally though, she got one hand wrapped in the hair. As she finished the second bracelet, the table and chairs and food fell with a series of crashes. "That should keep you from going all crazy with your powers at least…"

"Heh," he gave a weak smile. "Still… still looking out for me?"

She nodded. "Dipper, I'm so sorry that I tried to shove you. I don't know what came over me, but I never ever want to do that to you again."

"Same here. Throwing you into that bubble…" Dipper looked like he was going to be sick from the mere memory, "I was a monster."

"We both were. I mean, look at this mess." She gestured out the window, where reality battled with the Nightmare Realm. As she moved her arm a pain suddenly shot through her side. She flinched, leaning against the wall again for support. Ford still stood there with concern etched into his face.

"It's time to end this." He turned and gestured for the two of them to follow. "Dipper, Mabel, would you care to join us?"

Mabel nodded, her eyes still screwed shut. She heard Dipper rise from his chair. His hands guided her to lean on him, and he began to walk her through the open doorway. He kept one hand in front of him to feel for obstacles: either unreal ones that swam before his eyes, or real ones that Bill tried to hide. Mabel could feel him shiver as he constantly tried to parse out delusion from reality. An eternity ago they had risen triumphantly into the skies over the Mystery Shack. Now they struggled to shuffle into the gift shop.

A small crowd of people filled the room. Mabel managed to scan around this time and see familiar faces: Soos still stood in his mayor's suit, which was now in tatters. McGucket skulked in one corner. Gideon's and Pacifica's faces tensed as they spotted them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, and children," Ford nodded at Gideon and Pacifica, "thank you for coming today. I know it's been a rough time for everyone involved here—"

"I don't mean to be rude," Pacifica interrupted, "but can we skip the small talk? Can we fix the rift or not?"

"We can, and we're going to, using this!"

Ford gestured to the floor. Dipper and Mabel saw a symbol painted on it and recognized it at once: Bill's summoning circle.

"These ten symbols along the outside represent ten different people, who are hopefully in this room. If we can unite together, we can summon a force strong enough to drive Bill out of your bodies and to seal the tear in our dimension."

Suddenly fists hammered on the door. "Open up! You have a pair of Time Fugitives inside!"

"Everyone find something that represents you, hurry!" Ford stepped forward onto a space that had a six-fingered hand on it.

Dipper and Mabel staggered forward onto the circle. Gideon took up the star. Stan stood on the fish that appeared on his fez. Soos took his spot at the question mark. There was a booming on the door again. "We demand you open up, in the name of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron!"

"Join hands!" Ford ordered, holding out his hand for Gideon's. "We need to all be linked up for the power to work!"

"Grunkle Ford," Dipper looked up in confusion, "these don't make any sense! What does a pentagon labeled 'QWERTY' have to do any of us?"

"It's an ice bag," Mabel corrected him. His hallucinations were getting worse. "I dunno, somebody who worked at an ice store?"

"They don't have to be literal symbols. There's a lot of room for interpretation." Ford caught McGucket by the arm and guided him onto the llama. "Those llama-hair turtlenecks you wore back in the day ruined my furniture, but I think I can forgive them now."

"I have always felt a natural affinity for the llama," McGucket pondered aloud. "A wise man once said they were nature's greatest warriors!"

Watching the exchange unfold, Mabel thought about the ice bag. "Ice, ice is slippery, cold...cool, Wendy!"

"Way ahead of ya!" Wendy stepped forward and took Stan's hand.

"Candy will help too!" Candy stepped onto the glasses space.

Dipper and Mabel glanced at the pine tree and shooting star. "Mabel…" Dipper thought aloud, "your woodcarving…"

"Your obsession with aliens!" she responded.

Mabel stepped onto the pine tree. She looked to her right. Stan smiled down at her, without a word reassuring her that all would be okay. She took a deep breath and accepted his hand. Then she looked to her left. Gideon stared back with both fear and distrust.

"Gideon, I'm sorry for hurting you," she whispered, using nearly all her energy to stay standing. "I'm sorry for using you as target practice… and imprisoning you in a glass jar… and all that other stuff."

His pudgy face looked down. Behind the door, there were yells: "Open up on the count of ten or we will break and enter! ONE!" Then Gideon looked back up.

"If this is another trick," he held his hand to her, "I'll never forgive you. But if you can make this right, and let me live my life alone, then I'll let bygones be."

"TWO!"

"Deal." Mabel accepted his hand. A jolt ran through her body. Suddenly the windows darkened from the outside as they all began to glow white-hot. There was only one slot unfilled.

"THREE!"

Pacifica stood before the broken heart, her arms crossed. "Maybe all of you guys had stupid pills this morning, but I didn't. After what these two did to my life, why should I help them out, huh?"

"FOUR!"

"You tore my friends away from me, you crippled my dad, you took away everything that mattered to me! And then you hoodwinked me into helping you start the apocalypse? Well not this time!" She turned away in a huff.

"FIVE!"

Everyone shouted, "We don't have time for this!" "You gotta be kidding me!" "Let's just do it!"

"SIX!"

"Pacifica, please," Dipper struggled to keep Bill from overrunning his lips. "No more lies. No more secrets. No more deals or conditions. If you help us now, we will get your dad fixed. We'll tell the truth, and things will go back to the way they were."

"SEVEN!"

"You really think things can go back to the way they were?!" Pacifica balled up her fists. "You ruined _everything_! And I… I thought you were..." Her cheeks blushed again as they ran shiny with tears.

"EIGHT!"

Dipper felt a shameful shiver. "Pacifica, we will do everything in our power to fix what we've done wrong. And then we'll leave you alone. We'll never bother you again."

"NINE!"

Pacifica glared at Dipper's outstretched hand. Candy stood on her other side with a thin smile that communicated sympathy and apology. Everyone else eyed her. She reached out…

"FREEZE!" The roof exploded as Time Baby's voice boomed. The troops invaded the remains of the Shack just as Pacifica took their hands. Everyone screamed as the titanic toddler laughed… but his chuckle died down as the circle glowed. "WHAT THE…"

Where Bill had been, a disc of pure white shone out. A blast of air sprayed in every direction as a column of light erupted into the sky. It twisted and curled about, even larger than Time Baby. Everyone's hairs stood on end as a low buzz could be felt, as well as heard.

The light cooled into pink, and four legs sprouted from the side like a salamander's. The head materialized. The eyes opened revealing miniature suns that hurt to stare into. There was deathly quiet. Even Bill shut up in Dipper's brain.

I am Xolotl, they all felt in their minds. I have been called. I am here now.

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	32. The End of the End

Stan stared up as Xolotl gently swam in circles through the air. Brilliant eyes of flame scanned everyone with a great serenity. Xolotl turned towards Time Baby.

You are no longer needed here. I will handle this myself.

"NO ONE MAY COMMAND A TIME GIANT!" The massive toddler hollered in his hover-throne.

Xolotl blinked. Time Baby did as well, as if he had just had a tremendous realization.

"Apparently… you may." He jabbed a pudgy finger down at the gathered humans. "I will be back for you in 3012!" With that, he vanished in a shower of sparkles along with the TPAEF.

One less problem to deal with, Xolotl voiced in their heads. The voice seemed neither male nor female, and spoke firmly without malice, kindly without weakness. It was nearly impossible to tell the voice apart from their own thoughts, yet at the same time it communicated more clearly than any normal voice could. Stan couldn't help but shiver, and he crossed his arms in front of his body as the salamander asked, Where is Cipher?

Suddenly Dipper jerked forward. He seemed nervous as he pointed up at Xolotl. "Hey there, how's my favorite interdimensional universe hopper? Did you do something new with your gills, they're lookin' good!"

Dipper slapped himself across the face and looked up horrified. "I… I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep him under control. He's taken over my body though, and it's hard…"

A boy so young, struggling to contain a demon all on his own?

"No," Mabel stepped forward. "He's in me too, we split his power, and tried to take it for ourselves. It's killing us though." Right on cue, she grabbed at her side. With a gasp she stumbled and fell. Gideon and Ford managed to catch her. "Please…" she fought to spit out, "please, can you help us?"

Help? Xolotl rolled around and floated, staring down at Dipper and Mabel with eyes too bright to gaze into. You have done much ill. You have destroyed lives. You wanted power to rule your dimension and instead nearly destroyed it and yourselves. Why should I help you?

Stan turned his eyes down to the twins again as they stared at each other with dread. Finally Mabel struggled to her feet.

"Fine. Don't help me. But get my brother out of this…" Her eyelids briefly fluttered, like she was about to pass out. Mabel managed to steady herself though and continue. "I was the one that did all the dirty work. I would smash doors in people's faces, plant phony evidence. Dipper just went along with what I wanted. If you want to punish me, fine, but don't let my brother get driven insane."

"Mabel, no!" Dipper barked back. "Xolotl, she's lying. I was the mastermind behind everything. I made all the plans, and then pressured her into doing them. I'll take all the responsibility, you can't let her die!"

Stan watched in horror as they went back and forth. As Dipper finished his plea, the old man growled. "Alright kids, that's enough. Listen here you overgrown lizard god!"

"Stanley!" Ford watched with horror on his face. Stan ignored him.

"Yeah, you heard me! I dunno if you're supposed to be some all-powerful being, but if you are, then why did you put these two through all the heck they've had!? You killed their parents, bounced them around? I'd be pretty mad about that myself, and I bet you would be too! So don't come in here like 'Ooh, I'm a glowing space fish with legs! I can judge you all I want!' You're gonna help these two kids right now, or I'm gonna break out my really big brass knuckles! You hear that loud and clear?!"

As he finally took a breath, he glared Xolotl in the eyes as best he could. Stan could feel everyone around him frozen in shock. He himself though… he didn't give in. He didn't cower in fear. Everything he had learned in negotiating the hard way came out at this very moment. Xolotl said nothing for a long time.

You are a brave man, Stanley Pines. A very loud, very brave man. A trace of amusement tinged Xolotl's voice. Have you considered being a lawyer?

"Whoa hey, I didn't insult _you_ that badly!"

Be at peace, Stanley. Xolotl swam down lower to look him in the eye. You will vouch for the children?

"Whaddaya think I'm doin' right now?"

Xolotl looked about the landscape. There is much to do here, it thought aloud. Much to heal. But I will do this for you: I will expel Bill Cipher from your world. I will seal the rift. For Dipper and Mabel, I offer something few humans get a chance to have: a blank slate. No one will remember what you have done, and you may begin your lives anew. It is a precious gift, not lightly offered. I implore you, if you accept, to not waste it.

Stan saw Mabel look up. "A new start? Again?"

"Listen," Dipper's voice came, "if we could just strike that whole 'Kicking out Bill' part, I'd be happy with this arrangement!"

Then Dipper slapped himself across the face again, shoving his fist to his forehead. "Mabel, can we discuss this? Privately?"

Allow me. Xolotl's eyes flashed, making everyone flinch back. When Stan blinked the spots out of his vision, he saw Dipper and Mabel glance at each other. They seemed surprised for a moment, then concentrated hard at each other. Stan guessed what was going on. "Can't get a more private chat than that," he quipped.

Finally Dipper looked round. "We're not gonna erase anyone's memories. We'll undo the bad things we've done, but we won't erase the memories of them."

There was a murmur from everyone as Mabel continued, "It wouldn't be fair to all of you. We'd be getting a fresh start, but it'd be a lie. I don't wanna lie any more. Lying and cheating… that's what got us here in the first place."

"Kids, are you sure about this?" Stan rested his hand on Mabel's shoulder. "It's your chance to just start over. Not many people get that chance."

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper got his attention, "how did you feel living for thirty years under a fake name?" Stan paused and really thought about it. "We'd be doing almost the same thing. We don't wanna do that."

Is this what you desire? Xolotl questioned.

Dipper and Mabel answered at once and together: "Yes."

Then it shall be.

Suddenly the twins stiffened. Dipper chuckled. "Come on, we can negotiate this! We don't have to do this!"

You brought this upon yourself.

"No, no!" The sun itself dimmed as the eyes grew brighter. "I won't cause any trouble! I'll shake on it, I'll do anything!"

Dipper's eyes and mouth began to glow yellow. Mabel's did as well. Their bodies hung suspended in the air, writhing about.

"Put me down! Get me outta here!" Bill struggled in Dipper's body. Suddenly Dipper stilled, and Mabel began twisting in the air. "If you kick me outta this dimension, the twins die! I'll kill them right now!"

You shall not kill them. Now go quietly.

"Please! NOOO!" Mabel grabbed at her throat as her mouth gleamed bright gold. She coughed. She hacked. Suddenly a burning ball flew from her mouth. Dipper also let forth a ball of light, which landed in the center of the room. They merged into a flickering image of Bill, hands over his eye, howling in pain. Slowly he darkened, eye reddening, he bent his eye up to stare at Xolotl…

Goodbye Bill.

With a blast, the triangle gave a final scream. Stan covered his face with his arms to protect himself. Sparks danced around the Mystery Shack, fizzling like embers dying into ash. Dipper and Mabel slowly lowered to the ground on their knees, faces turned upward. Silence reigned for a moment.

Suddenly the whole Shack lurched. Everyone yelled as the ground began to quake, and strong gales blasted through the room. The sky rippled with strange clouds twisting and turning. They flowed towards the fluorescent X like soap in a draining tub. Trees bowed to the winds. Dust flew into the sky. Xolotl retreated along with the winds. The toxic yellow faded to a healthy blue. Trees resprouted from splintered trunks. Forest green leaves blossomed from every fresh twig. Wood and plaster and brick snaked into place and reassembled the town. Xolotl swam backwards into the rift, let it close, sealing the dimensions not with a bang, but with a twinkle.

Dipper and Mabel blinked their eyes open.

* * *

A couple days later, the twins waited at the bus station. They weren't alone though: Wendy and her friends leaned against the brick wall, while Pacifica nervously tapped her fists together and stared down the road. She had on a white sweater with a large red cross on it. Finally she let out, "Here it comes!"

A long silver bus pulled in front of them. The door opened up. "Last stop: Gravity Falls! Everyone off!"

A skulking teenager stepped off first, hoodie pulled over his eyes. "ROBBIE!" All the teenagers rushed him and laughed, clapping their hands on his back.

"Ow! Hey, quit it," he laughed. "You're gonna fracture my ribs again."

"That means the skull's open then?" Wendy cackled and caught his head under her arm, giving him a noogie on his black hair. "Hey, check out who's here."

Robbie looked down, and his smile vanished. "Oh great, magic boy again."

Dipper coughed and looked askance. "Listen, Robbie, I know we haven't gotten off on the right foot…or a summer's worth of feet…" Robbie crossed his arms. "But listen, I wanna offer you a truce. If we can at least exist in the same town together, can we let bygones be bygones?"

Robbie narrowed his eyes. "Oh, sure, Robbie almost dies and the kid gets guilty, thinking we're in some sappy tragedy movie!"

Dipper squeezed his eyes shut. He felt his anger rising… but Mabel put a hand on his shoulder. That's it, just keep your cool, Dipper said to himself. He sighed. "I got you this, I hope it makes you feel a little better."

"Yeah, what is it? A homemade card made out of construction paper and crayons — wait, is that a Rage Topic gift card?!" Robbie's eyes went wide. He scanned Dipper's face. "...Maybe you're not so bad after all, kid."

Dipper finally managed to hand the card off to Robbie, who turned and showed it off to the other teens. When his back was turned, Wendy leaned down to whisper, "So, not gonna tell him about causing the crash in the first place?"

"We didn't want to erase minds. I said nothing about telling _everything._ " Dipper smirked. "Besides, I also fixed him up."

"You mean Xolotl did?"

Dipper closed his eyes and gave a thin smile. "Will we see you around the Mystery Shack soon?"

"Probably tomorrow. I'm surprised Stan let me have this long off for the apocalypse." She looked up to see Robbie walking away, still admiring the gift card. "Gonna go catch up with him. Seeya, Dip!"

"Go on, clear the way," the bus driver shooed them off anyways. "We got an old man coming through."

"Old man?!" A voice cried from the back, "How dare you, do you know who I am?!"

"Dad!" Pacifica called out. Sure enough, her father stepped into the doorframe, supported by her mother. Together they stepped onto the sidewalk. Preston looked around dazed, but definitely conscious. "Dad! Thank goodness, you're okay!" Pacifica ran up and wrapped her arms around her dad's waist. "You made it back okay!"

"Eugh, just barely. Those bus seats were polyester, Pacifica. POLYESTER! There was no food service, and don't even get me started on the restrooms…"

Pacifica let out a laugh and a sob. "That's the dad I know and love."

"Mr. Northwest?" Mabel stepped forward now. All eyes turned to her, especially Pacifica's distrusting gaze. "We're sorry about what happened to you. From my brother and I, we wish you a speedy recovery." She held up a box wrapped in gold foil. "We thought some fine Swiss chocolates would make you feel better."

"Swiss chocolates?! My dear, all the fine connoisseurs would tell you that _Belgium_ is where to find the best chocolate in the world!"

Mabel closed her eyes, and this time she needed Dipper to keep her temper under control. He slipped the box from her hands. Dipper drummed his fingers on the top as he said, "Actually, that's what we meant to say, Belgian chocolates!"

"Is that so?" Preston took the box and tore it open. He popped a chocolate in his mouth, munched it a couple times… "Egad! So they _are_ Belgian chocolates after all! And some of the best I've ever had! Priscilla, Pacifica, you simply must try some, mmm!"

"Quick thinking bro," Mabel elbowed him playfully. Pacifica watched her father enjoy, then turned to the twins.

"Did you just change those chocolates? What about the amulets though?"

"The Journal has spells that work without items, like the zombie spell. Not that we're gonna use that of course!" He reassured her at the look of alarm in her face. Then Dipper fell quiet for a moment. "Pacifica, I just want to say again how sorry I am —"

"Stop." She shook her head, her blond hair waving back and forth. "I'm not gonna tell Mom and Dad what you did, but that doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you."

Anger edged her voice, and it made both twins flinch. Mabel spoke up, "Pacifica, we understand. We know how it feels to be wronged. But listen, if there's anything we can do for you, please let us know."

Pacifica turned away in anger… but her gaze began to drift back. Uncertainty crossed her face. Finally she spoke up. "So, these journals… do they say anything about fairies?"

* * *

On a sunny morning less than a week later, Ford dashed onto the porch with Dipper, Mabel, and Gideon in tow. They all panted, half-exhausted and half-laughing at their near-death experience. "Alright! That… that's the last time we try to steal any gemulets from the Forest Beast! Everyone still have their limbs all attached?"

"Me!" Everyone cried out. Gideon continued, "and may I say again, Mr. Pines, that it's truly an honor to be with you to explore the great mysteries of these woods?"

"Yes, you may," Ford peered to one side, "because you've already said it a thousand times and one more won't make a difference."

"Heehee!" Gideon chuckled, his pale cheeks blushing. "Get ready for a thousand and two! It's truly an honor—"

The door slammed open. "Alright, alright, that's enough!" Stan put his hands on his hips. "Where have you been?! The bus is coming soon!"

"Sorry Grunkle Stan," Dipper grinned. "Ford took us hunting for gnome gemulets."

"Gnome whatsits?"

"Oh, gemulets, Stanley." Ford explained. "Not quite a gem, not quite an amulet. Better than an amu-gem, worse than a gamulet."

Stan blinked. "Sorry I asked. Anyways, you kids go catch the bus!"

"I didn't think you'd be so adamant about school," Mabel cocked her brow.

"I'm not, but if a truancy officer shows up here, that's close enough to a cop for my discomfort! Now come on!"

Together they rushed around the front of the Shack. Sure enough, a school bus was pulling into the dirt lot. Gideon waddled off, but Dipper and Mabel stayed behind to talk to their great-uncles.

"You kids ready?" Ford asked.

They nodded.

"Nervous?"

"A little…" Mabel admitted. "It's the first time in a while we've gone into a school without intending to take it over. Just being a regular kid could be hard."

"Just remember," Stan rested his hands on their shoulders, "if someone gives you a hard time, what do you do?"

"Tell you," they answered in a smile.

"That's right. Your Ol' Grunkle Stan already has a criminal record, so no harm done to me!" With a soft chuckle he pulled them both close for a hug. "Also remember that no matter what, you're not alone. You have each other, and you have us."

"That's right," Ford put his hand on Stan's shoulder. He looked warmly down at his brother. "We'll both be waiting here for you when you come back. If you have a good day, we wanna hear about it. If it's a bad day, we'll help you through it. Together."

"Wait for Soos!" His scream suddenly came from the Mystery Shack, and he came running out with a pair of bags in his fist. "Whoo, I… huh, I…" he gasped for breath, "man that was close. Anyways, I packed you both lunches, from your friendly neighborhood Soos."

Dipper peeked inside his bag as Soos handed it to him. "Wow, thanks Soos!"

"Hey, you might have possessed my body and used me as a puppet to take over the town, but you did it for love, so it's okay. At least, I think it's for love… I'm confused, what exactly did we learn here?"

"We'll talk it over, Soos," Stan stood up with a smile. "Anyways, you kids stay out of trouble, okay? Don't do anything your Grunkle's would do, am I right Sixer? Heheh…"

They turned to face the school bus. Then they turned to Stan and Ford again. Suddenly the two of them rushed forward, hugging their grunkles close.

"Thank you," Dipper said to Stan.

"I love you," Mabel said to Ford.

And in that moment, the Stan's knew that the comments were interchangeable.

Dipper and Mabel let go, and turned back to the bus. They boarded, sat near the back, and waved from the windows as they pulled away. Stan gently waved back. Ford stood behind him and stared after. The rising sun sent warm spots through the forest's canopy, leaving the schoolbus speckled as it pulled down the dirt road. Together, Dipper and Mabel were whisked away to their first day at Gravity Falls Middle School.

"They're good kids," Stan finally spoke softly. "They just needed someone to let them know that."

"You _were_ always the better people person between us," Ford chuckled. "You know Stanley.. I wanted to ask you something."

"Hm?"

"Do you think the kids would like sea travel?"

Stan stiffened and turned, his face aghast with disbelief and dawning ecstasy. "Why do you ask?"

Ford grinned, and he began to lead Stan inside. "See, I found some weird activity in the South Pacific, but I wouldn't want to go alone. I've been looking at chartering a yacht, and looking at the kids' schedule. If we go in October, they'll have fall break…"

The door to the Mystery Shack closed shut. A gentle breeze blew between the trees as Soos swept the porch. Behind his back, a gnome ran scampering off with a can of Pitt Cola in its mouth.

On the schoolbus, Dipper and Mabel sat together. Dipper watched Gravity Falls pass outside his window. Their home. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the window.

He wanted to remember this feeling forever.

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* * *

 **URSA GEMINIDS**

* * *

 _Whew! Finally finished this one up! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope I did this fantastic series justice. "Gravity Falls" is my favorite show of all time, and I plan to one day produce animation that is even half the quality._

 _I want to thank my friend MindscapeChaos from Tumblr for being a beta reader for me all this time. Without her help, this story would not have turned out nearly as good as you see it now. I also want to thank all you who left comments and reviews. Without YOUR help, I couldn't have sharpened my skills as a writer._

 _If you want more of my writing, feel free to look at my ongoing Zootopia fanfiction "Silenced by the Lamb." If you want to see some original writing though, that will also be coming your way! I'm planning a big creative push this summer. If you follow me on Tumblr or Facebook as GouldthorpeCreates, you'll see my work as it comes out._

 _Thank you again for joining me on this endeavor. And in the words of Alex Hirsch: stay weird._


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